Do you poop regularly /ck/?

Monday-Saturday: Yes
Sunday: No

I don't drink coffee on Sundays.

>>8496384

yes.

Once in the morning, and sometimes at night.

>>8496384
Not at all. 3 times since new years

>>8497116
same.
i shit like once a week

>>8497116
>>8497118
how are you still alive

Sometimes 4x a day. Then nothing for another 2-3 day. My ass must look like mick jagger on a good day.

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>>8497116
>>8497118
Are you underweight as well? Or is it just due to a garbage diet

>>8497131
Not underweight, and im eating pretty normal stuff, rarely fast food

i just feel the urge to shit once in a blue moon

Since I began taking fiber supplements, yes.
Before that, not as much.

A big, solid, fibrous poop twice a day is glorious, and the consistency makes wiping a simple 1-square spot check instead of a pine tar nightmare

>>8496384
Yes. 10am and 8pm every day, ever since I switched all my bread options out to wholemeal pitta and replaced all my snackfoods with apples and carrots.

Haven't done a truly solid crap in months though.

>>8497139
Oh, odd. I'm the opposite in that I'm underweight and when I do eat it's usually fast food. Been kinda worrying me lately since laxatives don't seem to do anything.

yeah about once a day

>>8497131
I pretty much "forget" I have to shit for days at a time, sometimes I'm so busy that I wait till later.

>>8497172
Only once?? I heard your supposed to go twice

Generally once every two days, sometimes once a day.
They're usually pretty fucking massive though.

>>8496384
Not as much since the start of the month.

the longest i've gone without shitting was four days

maybe because all i ate was beef jerky during that time

>>8497116
>>8497118
third.
i go every few days. just cant be arsed to sit there for 30 minutes forcing out pebbles or air so i just wait until i'm nice and ready

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twice a day.
I really don't know why.

>>8496384
Yes, but not daily anymore. I was eating oatmeal and lentils everyday for a while and the shits were amazing, but oatmeal and lentils everyday for boring quick.

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Depends on how much I drink, if I go on a binge I will shit liquid fire like 6 times a day for like 2-3 days, but if now then around once a day.

>>8496384

Like clockwork every 20 hours or 6 hours after eating anything really spicy.

>>8497823

> pure beef jerky diet

Oh, lord. Story time.

> be newly minted EMT bombing around in the mid 90s
> find local source of stellar homemade beef jerky
> get paid, buy all the jerky
> eat an entire pound of jerky in one sitting
> go 48 hours, notice that I haven't shat
> go 72 hours, still no urge
> hit 96 hour mark, get nervous
> four days after jerkypalooza, I release a fart that made people lose faith in a benevolent god
> the urge hits....
> what followed was a two hour struggle to birth a turd that could very well have qualified for its own zip code
> it clogged the station toilet and had to be chopped up with a coathanger
> the whole thing gave me an anal fissure that still pains me to this day 20 years later

>>8496384
I shit like a goose. Medium sized tires all day long

>>8498069

188 55 R15 here

>>8497854
Are you sure you aren't eating hotsauce as well? That isn't normal m8.

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>>8498083
I run 245/45/r17.
I will recommend nitto invos. They work like champs in dry and wet.
If you don't need wet don't bother they have much better dry setups.

My GP told me that everyone has different shit cycles, I poop usually once every 2 days, no problems usually.

>>8496384
I'm spouting lava ever since I stopped antidepressants

Not sure what to do

I bought some weird plant that is 80% fibers but it did nothing

>>8497116
wtf dude, go to a doctor

Yes, and my diet isn't THAT good

>>8498060
nice story

>>8496384
It's normal to poop once every one to two days. I used to go like, once every 3 or 4 days. Then I drank more water, and I smoke pot now (relaxes muscles in yo butthole) so I go once or twice a day now. This weekend it's been like 3x a day which has been annoying me but I've only eaten fast food

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>>8498294
I suffer from cronic anxiety, might that be the reason I go to the bathroom so sparsely? My abs are always tight and not relaxed at all.

>>8498116
run some kumho semi's mane, arent nittos chink shit?

>>8496384
Either I'm constipated every three days or I'm pissing loowater. No in-between and it's been like this for years ;_;

anyone know that feel of having to shit on a date at a girls house or she's at your house but you dont want her to hear you shitting

bad feel

>>8498627
If you don't respect your date enough to enema you should remove yourself from the genepool

I can end up on the can 12 times a day. But it's not always a win, sometimes it's a dud.

Every day, pretty much every morning, usually before coffee lately, but it used to he after morning coffee and breakfast
Gonna poop in about 5 minutes

depends how much oat i have eaten

once, occasionally twice a day.

If I am hungover i will probably shit about 4 times that day, with each shit being more diverse than the people at Times Square

>Eat oatmeal with coffee every breakfast
>Eat a fruit with every meal
>Take fiber supplements
>Eat prunes everyday
>Still get constipated
WTF is wrong with me /ck/?

>>8498627
Am I weird or is it normal that I think part of preparing to go on a date should be eating plain/healthy for a couple days before and not getting drunk, also making sure you shit, shower and shave in that order a couple hours before for exactly the reason to avoid this dilemma..?

>>8498989
Go for a run, fatty

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>>8496384
i'm pooping right now

>>8498110
When you don't eat at all for 2-3 days and just drink beer and liquor you tend to shit out pure stomach acid or close enough to pure

>>8496384
At least once a day, occasionally twice. If i go more than one day without shitting, i end up clogging the toilet.

>>8498116
I'm running 275/55/R18 KOs on my truck for winter. I have my 265/55/R20 street tires I run in summer

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>>8496384
Once a day my dude

I used to about once a week only but now it's more 2-4 days a week I have to shit.


My diet consists of rice, chicken, fish, water, and fast food about once biweekly

i shit 4 times today and it was liquid every time coffee and beer do strange things to my bowels to be honest family

>>8497116
I'm about the same. Low calorie diet plus way too much fiber means I go about 1-2 times every 2 weeks.

Less than once a day, probably 2-3 times a week or so? It kind of varies.

once a day. I have oatmeal and broccoli twice a day, I think that is why.

I shit twice a day. Once 1-2 hours after I wake up, then again after lunch.

What the hell is wrong with you people? How can you forget to shit?

>>8496384
Once a day, usually. Sometimes every other day or twice a day depending on my eating habits. I believe once a day is considered healthy, as a normal bowel movement averages around 24 hours of travel time.

I shit once a day.

I drink 2 cups of coffee and usually shit from 11-2 pm.

My shits are invariably wonderful affairs: good robust logs, which crown and deliver in a timely fashion and Leave No Trace. I can often shit within a minute, although I like to extend my bowl time just for the relaxation.

I think I have great bowel control and awareness. I can hold a shit for a very long time. Sometimes if I am very engrossed in my work, I put off shitting for an hour or two. Then I hobble to the toilet and feel my log within. Those are the most satisfying shits of all, Freud was right.

I had a great log last week, one of those great ones that come out in one massive pipe, straight into the toilet weir but so long that it comes out of the water about 1".

Sometimes its hard to flush those. I want to leave them for my peers to enjoy, but I know they could take it the wrong way.

Honestly probably 2.5 times a day. One is normally just to release gas more than anything, usually around 5am because I start work early.
I'm a moderate drinker (normies would consider me heavy but not proper alkies) with a lifelong anxiety issue but apart from booze my diet is very healthy, I just need to eat more roughage.

>>8497166
You drink water?

>>8498989
U drink water?

>>8500348
You can barely digest fiber so it should pass right through you. Your prob not drinking enougj water. Its seriously almost like a miracle cure for most minor ailments you can think of

>>8496384
3x a day. Twice in the morning (when I have coffee) and usually after lunch. But I eat a lot of vegetable fiber and drink water. Goes down to 2x a day if I eat a lot of meat and not as many vegetables.

>>8498989
Too much fiber can back you up as well.

Every day before I go to work because I don't want to shit at the work bathroom.

>>8496384
Haven't gone in two days. On a really low no carb diet, though. Around 800 calories a day.

>>8496384
Right after breakfast ever since I got my gallbladder removed

I'm pooping right now! But ya, once or twice a day.

twice a week max

I've trained myself to shit every single morning. Then I'll shit again sometime in the afternoon. I used to have an office job and I'd shit at different hours throughout the day, it was rather annoying

Used to shit only once every 3 or 4 days but for a couple of years now I started taking a shit every day and I feel overall much better.

>>8498627
I'm a girl and I was on a medication that basically gave me horrible IBS - I was the loudest in the bathroom that I've ever heard, tons of air, had to run to the bathroom 10 times. I was on a date and his bathroom was connected to his bedroom. I was so ashamed for the whole half hour I was in there.


One time we went to the movies and he heard me from outside the 20 stall women's room

> tfw once a week or if im lucky every 4 days
> i eat one big meal a day at 6PM
> Bio/Med teacher says shitting 3 times a day is the optimal amount for a healthy human

so, /ck has no moderation?

>>8498297
Could be. I have anxiety which causes my muscles to be tense, mostly my back. I also hate pooping in public, or when people are talking. One day I had an accident trying to get home to poop instead of work (right at the finish line) and the experience made me decide I'd rather risk a panic attack than shit my pants.
I also drive to construction sites for a living, so I have easy access to porta jons, which also helped.

>>8496384
Every morning after breakfast, regardless of coffee etc. Has been like clockwork for as long as I can remember.

When I go out drinking it fucks with my schedule a little, but goes back to normal pretty quickly.

For months I've been pooping in little marbles and that's almost every shit I take and I don't know why I've been so constipated for this long

No, i do it standing in the shower.

>>8498989

You could have TOO much fiber, or perhaps you're dehydrated?

I got constipated super bad once (I usually poop 3-4 times a day) from eating an entire box of Fiber One cereal in one sitting.

I poop once every two days or so. I really don't understand how some people have to do the whole morning routine where they sit on the shitter with their magazines or phone for 20 minutes at a time. Every time I go to take a shit I'm done within a minute or two at most.

Three times ish a day.
But I had part of my sphincter removed.

>>8502371
I'd want you to sit on my face and rip ass

once a day sometimes twice
usually in the morning when the shower is warming up. Wake up, turn the shower on, have a nice poo while checking the boards and off I go to my day

2-3 times a day. Fiber supplements are your friend.

Girlfriend makes me yell, "Poooop" right before I have to go.

>>8504762
No I don't

>>8497116
Same, like once every 7-9 days.

>>8498060
redit

3+ per day. Can't even remember a time when I didn't go twice in a single day.

Wow, it looks like I'm the top shitter on /ck/. I guess this is what I am an outlier in.

once every 2-3 days but i only eat 800 calories a day

>>8496384
I used to before I lost my gallbladder. After that, it's an unpredictable, torrential pure liquid nightmare at the drop of a hat. I'm getting to the point I can pick out what will trigger episodes like that - most oils, obviously, but any large amount of leafy greens in a single sitting as well.

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I derive sexual pleasure from holding in my poops for as long as physically possible. Sometimes my body pushes so hard I have to pinch my cheeks together to keep it in and not shit my pants.

When I finally do go it's an intense experience. Sometimes I cry out while trying to pass it. I've dropped logs almost as long as my forarm with one end above the water. I clog the toilet often so I keep a snake nearby.

How do I get myself to shit more often?

I end up taking a dump every 5 days and you can tell it's stewing in there because it comes out dark and stinks up the bathroom so bad I can feel the extremely moist odor hitting my face when i walk back in.

At least twice a day. Very regular, one of those times is always after lunch

>>8505212
I'm glad you've found something that makes you happy, mate.

>>8505212
This is kinda gay. I bet you would enjoy cocks.

>>8505212
Holy...shit? What the hell do you eat?

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>>8498060
>He killed his poop baby with a coathanger

I think my bowels are connected to my emotions I'm constipated

I shit about 5-6 times a day, on average. If I don't eat it's 2-3 times, if I eat something greasy or creamy like Alfredo I shit 8-9 times a day.

>>8506605
That is not good at all

>>8496384
Why does doggo not like BK?

>>8506605
Probably not, but it's life. I lost about 33% of my lower intestine in an accident when I was a kid, so food literally flies right through me. I usually have to shit midway through dinner, even if I started on an empty stomach.

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>>8496384
first when i get up, then after i get home from college and then i go for another before bed

>>8496384
Yeah.
I haven't eaten much fiber in the last week or two and I still go at least once every 2 days

>>8498627
>going on a date
REEEE

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>>8505212

>>8506483
one of my highschool friends kept a chef's knife in his bathroom so he could cut his shits since they were so big

Usually twice per day

>>8498060
>an anal fissure that still pains me to this day 20 years later
Damn that must suck. One youthful folly and then never being able to enjoy a shit afterwards.

I have noticed that my pooping is heavily influenced by my physical activity. When I am working and up and about half the day I shit like clockwork every morning, ideally before shower, too. When I'm on holiday and just read and lay in bed all day it goes random very quickly.

Annoyingly, my body has lately developed the habit of producing double shits - one perfect one at home, before the shower, and then another one when I'm at work and I have no way to properly clean my super hairy ass.

>>8497176
This used to be me. Forget to shit. Only took a dump every week or so.

Got tired of my asshole ripping apart, so now ishit every two days. Much better.

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>>8498642
>Stuff fags have to do

I think I poop every 1 or 2 days.

I'll never get hammered or pissed or rekt or whatever you murrifats call it on beer again desu. I did it because beer was really cheap in CZ, but I found myself googling "my shit smells weird after drinking beer" and found out that beer shits is a thing.

So for me it's the vodka shot, the best drunk drink.

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I poop once a day, which is the average, but i might skip some days very rarely.
If you poop less than once a day or more than three change your diet, and if that doesn't work go see a doctor.

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>>8497116
>>8497118

>>8496384
every single day at about 6 in the evening

>>8501996
This is what is going on with me now, and I don't know how to fix it. I can't make myself shit in the morning before I shower, then I get to work and feel bloaty and gross and eventually have to shit, sometimes again while Im at work. It's never clean shits either, gross wet gassy shits. Ass bleeds everytime I wipe. Send help

>>8506896
There was nothing really as glorious as a good beer shit - I mean after drinking twenty or twenty-five beers the night before. The odor of a beer shit like that spread all around and stayed for a good hour-and-a-half. It made you realize that you were really alive.

-Charles Bukowski

>>8501754
Just go shit on a different floor.

>>8502371

you d make tons of money working in Japan for anyone

>Eat shitload of beans and greens every day
>Poops are massive, clean turds 2-3 times a day

I poop a lot, just one simple small log, at least once, mostly twice a day. It also happens really quickly, like I can just pull down my pants, sit down and push and its out. Unless I am sick there is little to wipe as well, although I usually wipe well beyond the "toilet paper is white" point.

My diet is about 45% meat and 40% carbs in the form of bread, rice, potatoes and sometimes pasta. 5% is veggies and fruit

>be me
>go to doctor with infected ingrown toenail
>he puts me on some strong antibiotics
>tells me to get a bottle of probiotics so I don't get horrific drizzling shits


I have never in my life had such enjoyable shits. It comes out of me like a train coming out of a tunnel, not too soft, not too hard and the toilet paper is always immaculate by the second wipe. Sometimes the first wipe.

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>>8496384
Every morning before i go for a run.
Yesterday I made etli ekmek for the first time and this morning I couldn't shit. My stomach hurts too.

It was tasty though.

>>8497118
I used to do that when I was a kid

I'd squeeze my shits back for as long as I could because they hurt so bad coming out that I'd need days of recovery after

I was shitting 14" long 3" diameter logs once a week for like my entire childhood, glad I got on a normal schedule

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>>8499235
>That picture

I used to be very irregular. Constipated for days then diarrhea and then back to constipation.

Getting infected hookworms (I paid a company in England which charged pretty penny for it) completely fixed it.

Now, I poop once a day (perfect medium hardness) and rarely have stomachaches.

>>8496384
Either twice a day or once every hour. There's no in between.

I poop twice a day. Is this good or bad?

>>8508768
long as they're not blood/off color you're fine
every set of gut bacteria is different

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>>8507849
>Anally raping yourself as a child on a weekly basis because you don't like how pooping feels

I've got gastro and the last 3 poops I've had have resulted in blood everywhere all over the toilet paper when I wipe my dot

I hope it goes away cos there's a decent amount of bright red (not dark) blood

>>8496384
>Literally every time I eat something, no matter how small it could be.
Fuck my insides

every week i go in the shower, and STAMP it down

sometimes i jump on it to get it down in one

>>8497116

same, about once or twice a week

i eat very little tho

I have lived in japan for six years and I effortlessly produce a dense but child-sized dump once a day in the morning. when I return home for a visit the western diet wreaks havoc on my bowels and I wind up birthing three or four mighty logs per day due to the breads and stodgy food by the time I leave.

>>8496384
Tuesday, Thursday, Sunday.

I used to poop once a week. One time I didn't shit for 2 weeks because of WoW and after I shit, my rib area was sore for over a week

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>>8505212
what even

>>8505212
just put a cock up there m8

>>8505212
Someone post that doujin about girls holding their poop in for pleasure

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>>8496384
Regular no, often yes

>>8502371
BRRAAAAAPPP

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>>8496384
I have lived in mexicofor the last 45 days roughly and my regularity until yesterday was of the sort where i must have lost a handful of kilos per use of the watercloset


Yesterday was quite the exception where all i could do was run to the washroom and hope i wouldnt go all over myself

So in terms of regularity YES aside from yesterday

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no the heroin makes me constipated
coffee definetely helps out though

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I've had hemmroids for a few months now and it's not going away
What do I do?

I've had diarrhea for like the last year and I have no idea why. My diet hasn't changed much since before. I might have something serious going on with me.

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I'M A DISGUSTING BOVINE SHITTER AND I EMPTY MY BOWELS AT LEAST 11 TIMES A DAY

I have IBS and shit about once every 5 days or so.
It can be very painful

I shit one to three times a day. However, much of that time I'm not shitting, but just relaxing. Shitting time is a time to relax.

I'm overweight and eat a lot of carbs, but otherwise relatively okay diet.

>>8514470
How much dairy do you consume?

i crap every hour. i think i have a problem. help.

>>8506435
Coffee and nicotine

i used to have trouble pooing on a consistent basis, then i started drinking a little apple cider vinegar in warm water every night before bed, now i take a turd every morning

I switched from heavy daily drinking to smoking weed and my shits went from greasy sloppy diarhea to 85 year old man, WW1 chemical warfare violation shits.

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>>8506719

You get used to the pain. It's the blood that is annoying

>tfw sitting on the toilet and listening to the blood drip into the bowl

>>8505212

I do this too but really after just one urge. It's pleasurable but I'm also very lazy.

Every fucking day and each takes me more than half an hour. Its a pain in the ass.

>>8496384
I am on meds so once every 4 days.

From 10ish until maybe 24/25 I would poop once every two to four days and it was glorious. Since then It's been probably twice every three days. Kinda annoying to go so frequently.

Longest I ever went was 8 days on a boy scouts camping trip (rocky mountains) where you had to use the buddy system even to poop 100 yards from camp and I didn't want to piss anyone off waiting 30-45 minutes for me to coax it out.

>>8497116
wtf, i go around 2-3 times a day

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>every morning
>at 9:20
my boss thought it would be funny to write my shitting times down
its always the same time
in the end he was amazed

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>>8496384 I made a shit so big it tore my anus, blood and all, now it won't heal because every time I shit the wound opens again.

I've been like this for a month, what do anons

>>8516619
you have an anal fissure, go to the doctor. or just eat really soft foods so all of your shits are soft and mushy so your ass can heal

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Today I learned /ck/ can't shit worth a shit compared to what we cook.

I hope you guys have a stool to keep your knees high and that you lower the lid to flush.

>>8496384
I'm pooping RIGHT NOW

>>8496384
About once every 2 or 3 days. If you shit more than that you're a fat fuck or weak bowels

>>8497180
Did you also hear that I was supposed to drink 8 glasses of water a day

>>8516766
dude 80% of /ck/ subsists largely on alcohol and cigarettes

what did you expect

Usually 3x a day. Metformin can be a pain.

>>8517298
type 2 and 3 best

>>8516619
I had surgery to repair a fissure, after a 5 month healing period everything was fine.

>>8517424
Make sure your bf uses more lube next time!

>>8516868
i imagined a faceless, genderless person typing on their phone and then screaming 'RIGHT NOW!'

>>8516619

mix coconut oil and essential oils (preferably a blend marketed for fissures) in a mold suitable for anal insertion. refrigerate them and then insert when solid. do this twice a day and the fissure will heal. beware of oil leakage though.

>>8496384
Maybe around 4-6 times a day, but I never really keep track.

Jesus Christ, I shit at least twice a day. At least. What is wrong with you guys?

2-5 times a day

t. Consumes 400mg caffeine and a lot of anus daily

>>8496384
I like to watch my wife.

Nothing is regular about the way I shit.

Lost my gallbladder after suffering with stones for 5 years. I either don't shit for 24-36hrs straight, or I eat something a little too leafy and green, or a little too oily, and my ass is polluting waters like Exxon Valdez.

Once a day.

Almost as enjoyable as masturbating. Am I a homo and I don't know it?

Every morning when I wake up. Although I have IBS and my stomach feels like shit most of the time.

Why do Americans clog the pipes with their huge and chunky turds?

>>8519071
you're a fecalpheliac

>>8520433
Because we don't have bidets so there's still quite a buildup in the crack from our last shit.

>>8505212
once in middle school we found a turd as long as a 12inch ruler, fucker didnt even flush it

>>8505212
are you trying to brag or something? everytime I eat china buffet I fill the toilet up completely and go a couple inches above the water line

basically I need to flush a total of 2 or 3 times and no doubt would clog up any kind of eurpean sewer system with my american poop

>>8498060
Had basically the same experience thanks to eating a literal shitload of swiss cheese.

>>8518301
you consume anus daily? That's interesting anon, tell us more.

>>8520530
You seriously don't have bidets?

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>>8496384
>tfw inconsistent dumps

I used to have the best shits ever, now they're all over the place

>>8522334
Americunts don't even wipe or take care of basic hygiene. Cheap fucks

How the fuck are you people shitting 2-3 times a day? Jesus Christ.

I go like once every 2-4 days.

I shit almost every day, once.

>>8522740
What has changed in your life? I used to have the cleanest, most consistent and timely shits, everytime I went to the bathroom people couldn't believe how little time it took me, literally sat down, pooped a smooth single piece turd, wiped once (came out white) and that was it.

But ever since I moved out and started living on my own, my shits are all over the place.

>>8522799
>>8522740

I usually have nice stiff dry shits, but last night I went in a pubic restroom and it was pure liquid, my shit went all over the place.