I am the master of pizza

>>8455754
>unsheathe pizza cutter
>teleports behind you

Heh, nothin' pizzonnel, kid. . .

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Perfection

>>8455760
ugh, that was not funny at all

Looks like you forgot to remove the plastic wrap before baking it

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>>8455760

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>>8455776
its from scratch, fgt

I genuinely cant tell if the OP made this for bait or if its a wifey meal they're trying to pass off as their own as bait.
the fact there is a fork there makes me suspect its bait of the former variety.

>>8455754
If this pizza was cut "party" style I'd call this a 10/10 troll thread.

>>8455778
Then why did you cover it in plastic

>>8455780
What is party style?
I'd rather see the whole pizza with a bite taken from it, no cutting required.

>>8455779
i was hungry and rushed it a tad.
>>8455781
what plastic?

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>>8455760
I laughed

>>8455780
the pizza was obviously cut in quarters. you may get the impression it's party style because of the shit distribution of toppings i guess

>>8455788
the toppings are under the cheese.
Guess where im from

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>>8455776
>>8455781
kraft single style fake cheese turns into plastic when broiled

>>8455791
it was cheap mozzarella i bought at foodmax.
Never again

>>8455790
i don't even give a fuck. your pizza is bad and you should feel bad

>>8455794
it tastes good

>>8455754
Don't sell yourself short, you know what you're doing when it comes to photography as well.

>>8455754
An hero please, sincerely Italy.

>>8455764
How can you have such good taste in a beer but eat such shit "pizza"

>cheese not locked to the crust will slide right off when you pick it up
>center loaded toppings not evenly distributed all the way to the edge of the sauce
>over topping makes an under done crust
>crust too big
It's nice and round though so good job on that. Pro tip: before going in the oven you should leave a crust about the width of a pencil. When it rises, it'll be about the perfect crust size.
You should use shredded mozz instead of sliced so it locks to the crust too.

>brown sauce
Do I even want to know?

>>8455924
you should see my troll theads on /p as well

>>8456002
i already stated i was in a hurry and didnt let it rise on purpose.

>>8455967
its actually an awesome pizza.

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>>8455754
looking gud m8

here's a snap of one from my local pizza joint.

looks amazing, right?

>>8457197
>not letting the dough rise affects my topping distribution
I'm just giving you professional advice m8, I do this for a living

>>8457259
the toppings are distributed perfectly.
You cant even see the toppings. The cheese is on top anyway

>>8457285
See that big bulge under the cheese? That's centerloaded toppings. Can cause the crust in the middle to be undercooked and will slide right off if you pick up a slice

>>8457313
the toppings are even.
There is alot of sauce tho that caused the sliding.

>>8455754

looks like you forgot to take the plastic wrap off your cheese

>>8455754

More like the master baiter.

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>>8455760

>>8455764
Too much sauce, too much cheese. Looks like an American take on Montreal pizza.

>>8455754
Did you put sauce and cheese on a plate and bake it?

>>8455754
>master of pizza
you're pulling the strings!

>>8457394
i guess you have never been to chicago

>>8457897
I've been to Chicago many times. But after the first two experiences I learned to avoid the pizza, hot dogs and Italian beef sandwiches and stick to the South Asian and Middle Eastern food there.

>>8457238
Holy fuck, I'd hand that back and ask for a refund.

That's absolutely unacceptable unless you paid like $2 for it.

>>8457907
its a shame you skip the best food there.
Dont forget the Gyros too

>americans

>>8457927
>its a shame you skip the best food there.
Ha ha, nope. I just learned not to trust the locals. It's really one of the few cities I've been to where you're better off ignoring the locals' opinions, because they're shit.

>>8457969
ok special snowflake

That pizza is a fucking crime against nature. It actually would have been better if you baked it upside down. That's how ill-conceived it is.

>>8457969
I agree. Chicagofags are assholes. They seem to take pride in directing you wrong. It happened to me both times I went to that shithole. One time by a train station uniformed peon who's only job was supposed to be helping people.

I think it stems from Chicagofags having an inferiority complex because they aren't quite east coast and they're most definitely not west coast.

>>8457979
You got it wrong. Chicago has been in decline for so long since its 19th and early 20th Century glory that the locals don't realize all their local dishes that would have impressed someone who fell off the turnip truck 60 years ago haven't aged that well. I'm sure visitors from Iowa or Nebraska are properly impressed by greasy beef subs, insanely cheesy pizza and hot dogs dragged through the garden. But that shit hasn't been novel to the rest of the country for well over a generation.

>>8458018
you have no class

>>8458002
>They seem to take pride in directing you wrong.
I don't think that's it. I think there's a perversity in iconic food of times past - times where eating out as a workingman or middle class family was such a big deal that anything the least bit novel seemed amazing. People romanticize this shit. That's why the guy from Philly who would never go to Gino's himself will tell you to go there and get a cheesesteak wit wiz. Someone in Cincinnati will tell you a Skyline 3-way is a must, even if they never eat that themselves. People in Michigan will direct you toward Coney (chili dog) joints even though they rarely if ever eat them. It's taking pride in local flavor, even if you're not so much of a fan of it. You even see it in NYC when people wax eloquent about halal carts or dirty water dogs with Greek onions or sauerkraut and mustard.

But Chicago is the worst place I've seen for this. It's a city full of good restaurants, but the locals relentlessly steer you toward mediocre at best "classic" Chicago stuff.

>>8458029
I think it's the opposite. Chicago locals make a big show of being in touch with the town's blue collar roots, but the best food there seems to come from the more recent immigrants.

>>8458095
the most iconic food is from the depression. You dont get more blue collar than that.
Cheapest meat slow cooked and sliced thin. Hot dogs. Fresh cut fries. Pizza dough made from all purpose flour instead of bread flour.

>>8458132
>food is from the depression.
To be fair an Italian beef sandwich is pre-Depression. So is a Coney, a hoagie and a po'boy. But you're point is well taken. Depression Era food might have been delicious to people who were starving and had very limited access to ingredients. That's when a hot dog with three or four kinds of pickled condiments starts looking amazing. But it isn't. It's a relic from one of the worst times in American food history.

I get the iconic element - we survived eatring this and it was GOOD! The point is that by today's standards it isn't. Because we have all kinds of fresh food available to us that's better.

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>>8458185
the italian beef was invented during the depression. Because it was cheap and filling.
I grew up with all that. It will always be good to me

>>8457907
never been to chicago. what's so bad about the hot dogs? surely you can't fuck up such a simple dish

>>8458338
They're not bad. They're just the same as any other

>>8458345
weak b8

>>8458405
It's not bait guy. Take any dog from a hotdog stand anywhere in the country and put a pickle on it. Now you have a Chicago dog

>>8455774
that's your opinion. i personally lol'd out loud.

Nigger pizza

>>8458424
kill yourself

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>>8458413
your trolling is subpar

>>8457405
no. You must be from the west coast

>>8455764
You would be drinking a golden drak

Shit ass beer to go with ur greasy mess

Judging by the amount of browning on the cheese due to residual lactose, I'd say you bought some shit-tier mozzarella.

I could shit a better pizza than that, OP. In fact I think I have, all over your mother's chest.

Seriously that looks repulsing. It's oozing from too much sauce (is that chunky sauce? Bad idea for a pizza), the dough looks uncooked, and the cheese looks like something I'd expect from Pizza Hut. But worse, there's no toppings! What a damn joke.

>>8458824
i did. $2.75 a pound

>>8458833
its mushroom and salami.

>>8458819
why do you think i made the pizza?