Itt stupid cooking habits your family has >mommy only grates

is nutmeg a real thing? i thought it was just a meme

>>8383766
My mom beats the shit out of knives and doesn't give a single fuck. Like she'll wail on food like she is mad at the world and then bitch two days later that she can't cut a lemon. YEAH BECAUSE YOU DON'T SHARPEN YOUR SHIT.

Drives me up the wall when I go over her place.

>>8383776
Fuck yourself

>>8383785
???

>>8383776
It's my favorite spice desu, it smells very nice.

My family is dead

My parents use ground turkey instead of ground beef. Even for hamburgers.

My alcoholic mother cooks everything on the lowest heat/temperature so that it takes 4 hours to cook and there's no risk of it burning if she gets drunk and forgets about it for half an hour

>>8383841
>ground

>>8383766
I never had nutmeg but I had to babysit a friend who got high on it once during an afternoon concert in the river
He what and vomited himself and me and the other friend where pretty drunk, one girl that knew him asked I he swallowed all right when he was passed out in the grass and we told him to say hi to her, he vomited instead and she called the police
We ended up having to carry him home due to his facination with walking the train rails and tripping on nothing and falling to the floor

>>8383766
she's wrong, but a tiny little bit not wrong - macis... I kno, I know, it never is on storebought nuts and its less nutmeg-y, and basically another spice.

>>8384109
you can get high on nutmeg?
how?

>>8384368
by eating a whole nut (or acouple) at once

my dad had it once back in the day when he was a wee lad. told me he shit three days worth of crap afterwards

>>8384371
To any anons, research this, and then you'll know why you should NOT do this.

>>8383766
Your family's nuts. But not as bad as mine, who think that the opaque brown (steak) or white (chicken) juices that coagulate and eventually form fond in the pan is actually FAT and must not be eaten. I could disagree-but-understand them not liking fat because their cardiologists, but it's fucking heme and intramuscular fluids and the fucking saline they inject my parents' chicken tits with so AT LEAST THEY HAVE SOME RESIDUAL FLAVOR WHEN THEY'RE OVERCOOKED TO DEATH AND YOU'VE THROWN OUT THE ONLY FUCKING WAY YOU COULD MAKE A SAUCE FOR THEM. (Speaking of overcooking, why yes, my parents also prefer their steak "well done," why is nobody surprised?)

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>>8383766
>mommy

>>8383841
I like turkey burgers every now and again. It can't be some gamey brand like Jennie-o though. I appreciate that turkey is supposed to have a flavour of its own, I just think their ground stuff is rank.

My mom makes "egg rolls" from a recipe she got from some Asian lady she used to know. You basically make a very thin omelette, cover it with a mixture of hamburger, chopped onion, and soy sauce, then roll it up like a jelly roll and bake it til done. Then you serve it with soy sauce. Anybody else ever hear of this?

>>8384470
That is some ja/ck/ level cookery

>puts retarded amounts of ginger in pretty much everything
>doesn't even bother cutting it small enough

>>8384482
It actually isn't too bad. I just can't handle that level of salt anymore.

And she does know how to make real egg rolls; every now and then we get together and make a big batch together because it's easieri f you divide up the work.

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>>8384368
>you can get high on nutmeg?
>how?

You just eat a lot of it. Fresh ground nuts are best.

Also, it's FUCKING TERRIBLE and will make you feel like shit for en entire day or two afterwards. There isn't really a good high, it just fucks you up and you remain fucked up for a looooong time. Just take a large dose of benedryl instead if you want to get somewhat fucked up... that at least wears off fast, alcohol likewise is much better and wears off fast.
Nutmeg- just say no. (Seriously it's awful.)

>>8384470
No, but with a Chinese mom that makes "hamburger rice," that doesn't sound bad...

>>8384502
This, and don't forget Benadryl will dry you out. I can't even take a regular dose before bed without keeping saline spray by the bed to re-moisten my nasal passages. I can't imagine what 3-4 of those things will do.

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>>8384511
Mumy?

>>8384528
kek

>>8384470
Yea, Koreans do this using egg and seaweed. My family calls them egg rolls too.

>>8384109
Are you high on nutmeg right now? Is that why you can't write for shit?

>>8384502
>>8384528

Also remember when the benadryl starts to kick in.

The bugs are real.

>>8383766
Even if it weren't even throughout, wouldn't it stand to reason that the most flavor would be on the inside?

>>8384528
It makes my prostate tingle

>>8385085
depends. apples might not have the same function as a nutmeg, but they have most sugars around the outside.

>>8384470
Variation of tamagoyaki?

>>8385068
I'm not high on nutmeg, you fuckers. Nutmeg is obviously dead and there is no way, I could even operate a computer that high.

>>8384109
>>8385330
You cant even operate a computer properly now jesus christ proofread your shit you type like a fucking 12 year old trying to sound smart.

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>>8385331

>>8385335
That image isn't appropriate in any relevant context. Just another example of how fucking retarded you are. Stop posting.

>>8385338
Hey man, why don't you chill down and take a nice clean cut line of fresh nutmeg. Maybe add a bit of cinnamon or all-spice for a little extra bang.

>>8385331
>cant
*can't
>jesus christ
*Jesus Christ
>12 year old
*twelve year old
>complete lack of grammar and punctuation
I suggest it is you who needs to proof-read your "shit".
You are in no position to criticize
No excuses, hypocrite.

>>8385345
>that line spacing

You can't even keep up with your own shtick, pathetic..

>>8385452
>shtick
I don't think you know what that word means.

>>8385462
On the contrary, I'm very familiar with the word and use it regularly. Meanwhile, I believe you had to Google it just now. It's pretty obvious actually.

>>8385338
Chill out bitch it was funny

>>8385462
>>8385467
You are by far the two most pretentious faggots on this board. Neither of you are going to win this cock measuring contest you're having.

>>8383766
HAHAHAHAHA

Love it if real

>>8385481
Change your tampon faggot you clearly haven't been here long if that's what you call pretentious.

>>8385476
Maybe, at one time. But not now, not in this context.

>>8385488
kill yourself

>>8385462
>>8385467
Kill yourselves

>>8385335
Glad I'm not the only one who thought of this when reading that post

>>8385767
"no"

>>8385561
>Maybe, at one time. But not now, not in this context.
dropped into this thread to say I'm cringing at you

>>8385829
what a cringeworthy post holy shit kill yourself

my dad rinses his blocks of cheese under warm water before using

- overcooking absolutely everything (gray steaks and vegetables, stringy tuna and pork)

-not tasting the food during cooking

-filling saucepans with too much water

-using a plastic tub when washing dishes when there's a perfectly good stainless steel sink

-overcrowding pans

-not letting oil get hot enough before frying

-enormous portions

-using a different glass every time they have a drink there's a big pile of them that need to be washed

-never using sharp enough knives so onions are torn instead of chopped

>>8385878
>-using a plastic tub when washing dishes when there's a perfectly good stainless steel sink

my sister and i have observed that all wh*te people do this

>>8383766

They make a big deal of of soaking their beans for 12 hours before-hand.

I just cook black beans like rice, it takes <3 hours on the stove, with some beans being even faster (pinto beans only take 2).

Done it for years, eating probably 14+ cooked cups per week on average, and it has caused exactly no problems. My beans have a way better texture than there's, too. The color is darker, the flavor richer, and they are less mushy while also being fully cooked (they remind me more of the beans in good mexican restaurants).

>>8385930
>itt stupid cooking habits
>posts something everybody should do
Good job Paco

>>8385939

What's the point of soaking beans?

It reduces cooking time by maybe 30-60 minutes, but cooking time is idle time anyway, and in exchange you have to add another 12 hours of idle time put the extra labor to do a separate soak. Plus, you have to remember the day before.

So in the end, you have 11-11.5 extra idle hours (marginally less the day you eat them I suppose), more labor, and they are worse tasting.

>>8384528
Benedryl is a nightmare drug for me. I'm allergic and simply can't use it. If I do, I'll lie in bed tossing and turning while being woken up by voices in the room. Its like it turns me schizophrenic.

>>8384528
Clairadryl is worse tho

>>8384109
Google translate kek

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My family literally do not sharpen their knives. It's been 4 months since I moved out and they are all chipped and need a complete reworking. They are all blunt as shit and the only knife worth using is the one they don't use because it's "too big". All the pans are useless because they leave them in the dishwasher so the non stick Coating is now non-existent. They use that shitty spray oil on fucking everything because of the shitty slimming world diet and that's not the start of it. They barely ever use salt and pepper because it's 'healthier' and yet every single one of them is overweight except for me.

>>8386094

I've noticed that too - my family is all fat AF, and all of them are on some "diet" where they give up something stupid. Gluten free, oil free, salt free, sugar free, whatever. Meanwhile, I'm the only thin one - because I'm the only one that knows PORTION CONTROL

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>>8385561
>not in this context

If anything it's even funnier since you seem to be so fucking upset about it.

<-- pic related. It's you

>>8386094
you live in something I would consider my personal hell

move out, away, and visit sparingly. cancerous behaviour that will kill them, eventually.

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>>8386156
I'm already at university and when I move out forever I'll probably never eat there again. My mother sparked my interest in cooking, but I can't stand it now.
>>8386107
It's infuriating. I'm the only one in my family seemingly aware if you weigh your food out first you cook the right amount. It's not even like it's hard these days with the power of Google.

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>>8386094
seriously, wtf is with morons and not using salt?
My grandmother is 400lbs and doesn't salt her food during cooking because 'the sea is salty and that is why whales are fat'

she has passed the fear of salt to my mother (despite the fact she is obese and eats 3 large fries from mcdonalds each day for lunch). apparently 'the salt mcdonalds use is washed by industrial strength machines'

>>8386200
>the salt mcdonalds use is washed by industrial strength machines
Is this a meme? It doesn't fucking make sense.

>>8386249
Stop asking if everything is a meme

>>8386266
Is it a meme to ask if asking if something is a meme, a meme?

>>8386323
No. It's just shitposting.

>>8383780
help her

sharpen the knives on her bones

>>8386323
Actually, yes, oddly enough. The fact that you asked if it was a meme, or me explaining it arent memes tho.

>>8386185
>My mother sparked my interest in cooking, but I can't stand it now.
there's healthy and tasty ways to cook, don't fear food anon san c:

>>8385561

Jesus, are you legitimately an autist?

Shit man, nobody blames you for it but you don't get humour. Stop trying.

>>8386266
He isn't the one guy asking if everything is a meme. He isn't the one you should be getting so
>salty
with.

>>8385882

This post has been observed and revealed as "bait", or at the very least useless shitposting or a bad joke, based on the following criteria:

- Severe under-usage of capital letters.
- Egregious, unnecessary information, likely to inflame even if deniably innocuous. Provoking section: "my sister".
- Mention of race.

Thank you for your time.

>>8386155
>it's you
I'm not made of ice, you idiot

>>8383766
>having parents who smoke so they over season everything
>having parents with the worst meat to noodles to sauce spaghetti meal
>mfw they tell me they can't taste what I've made because I haven't emptied half the spice rack on the hamburgers

>>8383766
>Mother microwaves €8 steaks till they're a ball of rubber and the plastic pacjaging has melted into it
>Offer to cook them and explain Maillard reaction etc
>"You don't know everthing with your stupid Chemistry degree"
>Cook my steak off the pan like a normal human being after she's finished with her histrionics
>Ask her try the steak I cooked
>Accuses me of some how being a rapist for asking again

>boils chicken

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>>8385081
>>8384528
>>8385970

Do people really go wacky on benedryl? I take it every day for anxiety and sleep. Usually like 16 pills a day. There are some strange things related to the drug- Like, there's a weaker form that is only available by prescription and does jack shit, so why is it prescription?

I know I may be killing whatever organ(s) are involved, but I'm 1/2-1/3 of my way through a natural lifespan and really don't gaf. It wears off in a couple hours.

No nutmeg, though, that stuff is muff cabbage and leaves you fucked up for at least a day afterwards with ZERO benefits. Might as well sip some antifreeze and cut off a finger and stick it up my nose.

>>8386682

Christ take some Xanax man.

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>>8386689

Done. I'm on benzos too:) They're very nice. Just don't get a psychiatrist with a substance abuse background that wants you to huff rosemary incense and do deep breathing exercises while she prescribes shittola shit fuck garbage and refuses to help otherwise.

>>8386638
I smoke over a pack a day and I don't over-season. Your parents just have shit tastes.
Put a bottle of hot sauce on the table when you cook for them, problem solved.

>>8384109
Are you fucking high on nutmeg right now?

>>8386682

lmfao dude

16 is 400mg, so with a tolerance, that won't do much but get you dopey.

try taking 64, you'll learn. benedryl is honestly crazier than DMT or LSD or shrooms in high dosages, only pcp is really more insane.

>>8383766
you have a mother that grates fresh nutmeg

you should be much more understanding. my mom buys cooked garlic and parmesan. i dont even think thats as bad.

>>8386700
>while she prescribes shittola shit fuck garbage and refuses to help otherwise.

Do you really not see why you should have said, "fuckoff?" Why do you let these medico-pharma corporate warriors control your life? The day the US populace says fuckoff to these greedy bastards will be the day we can say we're free.

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>scraping the cutting board (plastic) multiple times with the cutting edge of a knife to "clean" it

>only washing dishes that have come in contact with grease, never mind the prep bowls that have been used to hold raw veggies, sugary fruits and starches for the past month?6months? or the cutting board stained with the blood and guts of thousands of poor plants

>completely avoiding fat and salt but overusing pickled ingredients and sugar

>stocking the pantry and fridge with truckloads of instant coffee, tea, cereals, premixed cakes, meme oils, anything but the staples

>never turning the knob past medium

>reusing disposable cutlery

>putting meme ingredients like ginger in E V E R Y T H I N G

>C A R B S with no protein and never enough veggies

>feeling the need to use up horribly processed store-bought sauces in like thai chili sauce and bbq sauce in recipes because "they're about to expire/ they're already expired*

>while washing dishes, trying to get away with as little soap and warm water (cold) as they can because they want to "help the environment" or "save money", never racking them up afterwards

>throwing used teabags and breadcrumbs in the sink, never rinsing down the sink

>never rinsing down used dishes and soaking them afterwords

>never disinfected a surface or towel in their life, nor seen a bottle of bleach

>leaving cooked food out to cool to room temp (sometimes overnight) before packing and refrigerating, if they find something that's warm in the fridge they take it out

>H O R R I B L E organizational skills and food safety practices in general

I've had way too many close calls in this kitchen. the last time I cut myself I didn't bleed because the calluses on my fingers saved me. I guess I should be thankful all things considered.

>>8385338
You're a fucking moron, the guy was clearly referencing that meme with the nutmeg/"live that long" post and someone posted that image to explain it to you.
That or I'm an idiot falling for this bait right now.

>>8386614
Assuming youre serious. That isn't ice. It's a pillar of salt.

>>8384368
>>8384371
i heard that you will die if you eat more than one nutmeg at one...
no joke

>>8385859
what the fuck

>>8386094
>All the pans are useless because they leave them in the dishwasher so the non stick Coating is now non-existent

I didn't get the memo. Is that really bad for them?

>>8387042
As far as I know the only bad things you can do to non-stick pans are get them too hot and use metal utensils in them

>>8384508
>hamburger rice
please explain

>>8387056
Thanks senpai, I was under that impression also.

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>>8387057
White rice with seasoned beef and cheese mixed in. It's a great meal for being so cheap and easy to make. Here's some info made a while back

>>8387087
>Here's some info
where?

~how do you eat it? just like that?

>>8387087
Ain't that just Hamburger Helper?

>mother used shit ton of some form of garlic or another (fresh, paste, powder) in every dish she made while I was growing up
>learned how to cook from assisting her
>started cooking for family and everybody would love my dishes
>got older and started cooking for friends and others
>everybody loved what I cooked but complain I used "just too much garlic"
>slowly realize I couldn't taste garlic like most people
apparently I developed a tolerance for the taste and smell of garlic thanks to my family
I still use a ton when I cook for myself or for family dinners but I go waaaay under what I think I should use whenever I cook for others

>>8387114
Just eat it as is.

>>8387138
I'm sure they have something similar. But what I do is cook 2 cups of white rice, then take half a pound of beef, season it with brown sugar, onion and garlic powder, cayenne pepper, salt and pepper, then chop it up while cooking, then mix it into the rice with mozzarella and Monterey Jack cheese. Shit is cash brother. Try it out.

>>8387087
>>8387166
ok, will try this

>>8387179
Oh I forgot. If you like some extra flavor in the beef. Knead honey and hot sauce, or honey and mango habanero sauce into the beef. Takes the flavor to another level.

>>8387184
would do it just with hot sauce,
but honey and mango habanero sauce sounds interesting, thanks anon...

>>8387198
Honey and hot sauce is a great combination. Especially with the brown sugar and other spices in the beef. Mano habanero adds and amazing flavor. But it's very easy to add to much, and if that happens the spiciness overpowers all the other flavors.

>>8387209
I never thought to add honey to beef...

next time i will try Honey and hot sauce or honey and mango habanero sauce with it...
thank you anon

>>8387225
Just don't add to much honey. I usually do 1 to 2 tablespoons per half pound of beef. With 1 and a half table spoons of hot sauce per half pound.

>>8387229
ok, thanks

>>8386638
Where did this
>smoke makes you lose taste
shit come from? My partner doesn't smoke, I do, and they can't taste that well. I pick up subtle flavors that they don't taste.

>>8387337
Dude. It's a fact that smoking fucks you're ability to taste. But maybevery since you know what flavors you're looking for when eating is why you can taste things that they cant.

>>8387368
*maybe. Fucking auto correct.

>>8384368
You can, but it's also poisonous in high doses, will make you very sick, and be a horrible experience overall. You're better off getting blackout drunk for a legal high.

>>8387001
You can. Although, it's not likely unless you are a small twigman, eating large doses can cause heart failure.

>>8383841
Nothing wrong with that. It's softer than ground beef, and some people can't do red meat. A fine substitute.

>>8386682
>I take it every day for anxiety and sleep
Go to your fucking doctor. I used to do this shit, got a prescription for a beta blocker and anti anxiety drug, both like $5 for 30 pills with insurance. Those are piss easy things to treat, and benedryl is a horrible substituent.

>>8386682
Also followup, long term benedryl is shown to cause dimensia in old age. Just tell your doc straight up about anxiety, say you have heart palpitations or something, so they'll give you a drug that'll lower your heart rate. Most the time you can't sleep is because your body never cools down, the heart rate never slows, so you're perpetually awake. Same shit causes anxiety as your blood pressure rises and heart beat increases.

>>8386829
""""food safety""""" is autistic and a meme invented by jews, it's a dysgenic practice that allows weak and autistic beta faggots like you to make it to adulthood.

>>8383766
not sure if this counts as a habbit but my gf sometimes uses the knives wrong, like pushing them instead of cutting but that mainly happens when we/she's in a hurry

>>8383766
my grandmother prefries essentially everything in the pan if someone is coming over, even stuff like minced meat. i'm pretty sure it's because she wants to be prepared and prolly doesn't have much else to do.
she cooks like a boss though so maybe i should start doing it too

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>>8387749

>>8387042
If they are low quality, yes. If they are téfal or something, no.

>>8387371
Go to keyboard settings and turn autocorrect off instead of complaining here that you can't type.

>>8385878
>>8385882
>-using a plastic tub when washing dishes when there's a perfectly good stainless steel sink
What does this even mean?

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>>8388006

>>8387974
I'm on my phone. I don't feel like changing the settings.

>>8388400
kill yourself

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Wife's parents ask for meat with no fat and washes toughly before cooking so it has no blood left over.

Also, they overload the saucepan when cooking the meat.

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>>8386094
>My family literally do not sharpen their knives. It's been 4 months since I moved out and they are all chipped and need a complete reworking. They are all blunt as shit and the only knife worth using is the one they don't use because it's "too big".

My family right here.

Also, almost EVERYONE i know, dont have a fucking knife to cook. They use pic related for everything. Then, they invite me over to cook for them and i cant do shit with this fucker.

>>8388407
:^)

>>8387368
>>8387368
Not when there's ingredients in the items that I don't know about but can pick up. I can smell too and they can't.

>>8388438
It was never blood in the first place, but intracellular and lymphatic fluid.

Anyone watch "Worst Cooks in America"?
Sometimes I think the whole thing is staged but then I remember these threads and things like the sweet sundae ramen... it's basically /ck/: the show

>>8384368
you can do it but you feel like shit for the next 3 days so I can't recommend

My mom loves to cook stuff in the oven, but she uses the same temperature for everything, no matter what the food is. Steak? 200 degrees. Cake? 200 degrees. Doesn't matter to her. Everything is overcooked. But honestly, probably better than on the stove top. All of her pans are scratched to hell, so everything sticks and burns, no matter how much lard she uses.

>>8383898
Honestly that's a pretty smart way to get around her retardation.

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>>8388450
Man that's the fucking worst
>hey let me help you with some prep, I'm pretty handy with a chef's knife
>oh thanks anon! this is my only knife

>>8389903
kek. The only thing worse is, it's almost certainly dull.

>>8383898
my grandma does this but she's not alcoholic, just retarded

All meat is well done and beyond. Seems to actually be common for Eastern European families. I wonder if it's because people compensated for shit quality meat in Soviet era or something.

Can we do friends too?

At friend's BBQ.

Friend comes over and keeps talking up potato salad she's gonna make. She decides to make baked potatoes instead.

But first, she needs to chop and cut out the eyes of the potatoes.

Instead of putting the potatoes on a cutting board, she holds it in her left hand while holding the knife in her right with a stab grip. She is literally stabbing the eyes out of the potato. I'm afraid she's going to cut her palm right open.

And she does.

>>8384528
try like 30

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>mother overcooks every piece of meat including seafood
>refuses to believe that bringing to temperature kills it regardless of how long it cooks
>constantly fucks with the meat unless it's in the oven and out of her grasp
>puts worcestershire sauce on all her meat to season it
>drowns chicken in shitty BBQ sauce and burns it on the grill
I ate it as a kid but can't choke that shit down anymore. If I'm cooking she'll put it back on the grill/skillet for 10 more minutes because "it isn't done".

>>8383780
Found the black guy

my piece of shit mother has the habit of progressively cooking worse and worse, she just doesnt care anymore

she doesnt use condiments, garlic or onions because they "smell"

literally a garbage mom

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>>8390122
Just a chuckle kek.

>uses a bread knife to cut cheese
>uses scissors to cut open freezer pops, leaving them sticky

Ever since my mom had cancer her cooking skills have dramatically decreased. She grew up in a restaurant, and was an awesome natural chef who never needed instructions, but since her full recovery she almost never makes food, and when she does it's never as good as it was, sometimes even below what you'd find at any average restaurant.

I'm not mad at her, just kinda sad that she had something like that taken from her. She taught me how to cook, and I owe a lot to her. Fuck the world we live in for being a place where something like this can happen.

>>8386700
*PRRRRRRRRRRRBBBBTTTTTT*

>>8386829
are these your parents? or your workmates? they sound like gross hippies anyway man, feel for you

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>>8387759
>pushing them instead of cutting

>>8389965
Go make your grandmother a cup of tea immediately

>>8384109
lol this is funny as shit.

>well anon i don't know, i wouldn't cut meat on anything but a glass cutting board
FUCK

>>8386829

>reusing disposable cutlery

fucking disgusting, roommate does this shit with takeout forks and the spoons you get from DQ with a blizzard/sundae. They get oily and slimy, and get shit crusted up behind the handle

ITT: people disrespecting their parents for some small inability to cook.
Some of you need to reflect on yourselves. There is a better way to live life.