I need help from experienced cooks

Start with ice cubes. Everyone knows that cold water boils faster, and ice will boil the fastest.

You should have 100-200 ice cubes in your freezer at all times. Take about 30 of those, put them in a pan (not a skillet!) and hold it over your kitchen garbage bin. Set whatever's in the bin alight, then hold the pan over the fire.

Do this 10 or 12 times and you'll have boiling water just like Martha Stewart boils it!

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There are a million different ways to boil water depending on the type of meal you're making. Not to mention the metaphysical properties of boiling separate foods at once, such as noodles and meat. I recommend reading some books on the laws of thermodynamics, as well as The God Delusion.

Also, read the notes written by the Zodiac Killer. He offers a lot of insight into boiling water on an electric stove.

>>8365125
Step 1. Put water in pot
Step 2. Boil it

WA LA
ez pz

>>8365125
Start by cleaning out your shower with ammonia and bleach

>>8365125
First you need water.
>>8365135
Don't listen to this idiot, because ice doesn't boil.
You need water, in a pot, and place it on a stove top.
Now, the important part is making sure you picked the right stove top location, if you find an area is hot, but the pot isn't there, you missed.
Now, once you got the pot on the hot you let the water get hot, this is crucial.
Once the water gets really hot it will start to form bubbles, these bubbles mean the water is drowning.
You must then scream at the water in the pot, demanding what it knows about the underwater kingdom, this will cause it to steam a little.
Keep at it until the bubbles get really big and you have done it!

>>8365125
Induction stoves or microwaves make it boil much faster

>>8365150
I cringed at how funny you thought this was

you guys are hilarious lol

are there any professional cocks here who know the tricks

>>8365169
Throbbing really helps.

>>8365125
DAILY REMINDER TO PLEASE IGNORE OBVIOUS TROLL THREADS.

sage

depends on the atmospheric constitution of the planet you are currently residing OP

Guys, I think I fucked up, how do I unboil water?

>>8365218
butthurt asshole detected

>>8365227
You need to add more heat.

>>8365227
Fuck man, all I know is that heat rises.
Do with that information what you will. The pieces are all there.

fucking assholes nobody can help with proper technique how to boil water
bunch of fucking useless retards

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>>8365150

At least you tried anon

>>8365586
Fuck you

>>8365160
Fuck you

>>8365150
I actually got a good laugh out of this

add salt to make it boil faster.

>>8365150

>>8365594
>I actually got a good laugh out of this
I did as well. I was crying from laughter. I'm the OP
>>8365163

>boiling water in the current year
I like my water raw thanks.

>>8365653
lol

Insert energy by stirring it very hard until it reaches boiling point.

>>8365613
spit in the water instead, it'll boil faster and more even than with salt

>>8365125
Soak in water overnight to activate.

>>8365613
don't listen to him, salt will make water dry and it will boil longer

You know the saying "a watched pot never boils"? This is the secret to boiling water: never, ever watch it. Simply put the pot on the stove, turn on the heat full blast, and leave for a couple of hours. When you get back, the pot will be nicely boiling, and now your instinct will be to look at it. BUT DON'T. In order to properly boil whatever food you're cooking, you mustn't look at the pot. With your back turned to the stove, carefully throw the pasta (or potatoes, or what have you) into the pot. This can take some practice. With your eyes averted, put the lid on the pot and leave it for another two hours. When you come back, blindfold yourself, pick up the pot, and strain it into the sink. Then, and only then, can you look at what you've cooked.

Congratulations! You're now a chef!

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>>8365730
Thank you chef Ramsay

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Guys help, my head chef says if I can't take the 'Self' out of the self-raising flour I'm fired!

how do?

>>8366112
just add water boiling water that is

>>8365142
KEK

I will be making soup tonight for my children is it better to use room temperature water for boiling or cold.

>>8367613
neither, you shouldn't boil children. makes the meat watery.

>>8367671
you asshole it's the soup for my children not from my children
learn to read you drunk cooking cock carnivore

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>>8367692
>drunk cooking cock carnivore
thank you, that's the funniest thing I've read all afternoon.

I like my water on a under boiled site in order to get more flavour from veggies and meats

You're old enough to have 2 kids but don't know how to cook?
Do you know how to tie your shoes?

You need to add salt it makes the water boil faster. I learned this piece of wisdom many years ago on /ck/. A 50:50 ratio should do it.

WATER
NICE AND HOT

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>>8365218
>DAILY REMINDER TO PLEASE IGNORE OBVIOUS TROLL THREADS.

>>8365142
Another idiot who fell for the meme.

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>>8368890
Why waste precious time when pic related?

>>8368890
I know how to cook, I'm excellent cook but I need bit help with tricks from professional chefs on boiling water.
BTW my shoes have no laces to tie, since when high heels have laces.

>>8368913
Thank you chef you are so kind for sharing your knowledge with me.

>>8365125
Boil water in a kettle wile you let a pan warm up on a stove. Add water from kettle and insta boil

>>8365613
Adding salt first will make the water tough. Make sure to first boil the water, then add the salt.

>>8369745
For how long should I boil salted water for the salt to be cooked to be boiled completely.

Also I like to ask if professional chefs pour water first into the pot and add salt to it or do they add salt first and pour water over it and start boiling.

>>8365125
>how to boil water?
I can't tell if this is parody or not.

>>8371046
keep reading

>>8365150
>this means the water is drowning
Fuck me, I shouldn't have laughed so hard at that.

>>8371393
I told you >>8371061
lol

>>8370000
>>8370000
Always put in the salt only after the water is boiling so it dissolves quickly. If you heat water with the salt grains at the bottom of your pot it may damage the metal over time from cavitation effects.

>>8371426
Thank you.That sounds real.Makes sense.

>>8371404
>>8371061
I was asking about the OP, not the parade that came afterwards.

always add salt to the water, it will boil faster

>>8371607
also onions, then it boils even faster

Can I add boiling water to water to make it boil faster?

>>8371612
No, that's how you control the speed but it works opposite

>>8371614
what about adding more oxygen to water to make it boil faster, will that help

>>8371621
That actually adds too much oxygen to the water and the added heat caused will make you burn your water.

>>8371828
What are the symptoms of burned water. Will it leave any marks on the pot like when you burn the food in it.

>>8371841
Well, part of water is Hydrogen, and that is very flammable.
Adding more Oxygen will cause the Hydrogen chemicals to break away and enter the steam cloud.
This, combined with the Oxygen will cause an explosion.
You won't have a pan, or a kitchen.

>>8371847
That's too bad because I was hoping to cook meals for my 2 kids much faster using that method.Oh well

Microwave boiled water > Stove top boiled water

>>8371859
This. Much faster too.

>>8371859
>>8371863
>Not just getting it from the store.

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>>8365730

Fuck you plebs. I sous vide my boiled water. To a precise temperature of a 100 deg celcius.

How else are you going to get perfect evenly boiled water without burning the water touching the bottom of the pot. Its been tested over and over again. It is impossible with traditional methods, to get the water on the top of the pot to boil before the water below burns. Trust me, i used to work at The Fat Duck with Heston.

>>8371867
Huh?

>>8371459
It's bullshit, salt changes almost nothing in its solubility all the way from freezing to boiling temperatures. Look it up.

>>8372165
>exactly 100 °C
>he doesn't even pay attention to atmospheric pressure

>>8372165
>It is impossible with traditional methods, to get the water on the top of the pot to boil before the water below burns.
You are full of shit for trashing traditional methods of boiling water, it was done that way for centuries for millennia you just have to stir the water to prevent from burning and sticking to the bottom of the pot.
Best if you can use wooden spoon to stir it so you don't transfer the heat with metal spoon away from the boiling water.
Check ancient cook manuscripts papyrus or clay tablets and it's all described there you modern kitchen butchers.

>>8372968
Also, if you place the spoon on the top of the pot the latent magic from the tree that made the wooden spoon will prevent the water from boiling over.

>>8373097
you just making fun of me,don't you
or you are serious?

>>8373629
Serious.
Trees are made of wood and drink water.
The wood in your spoon will absorb the extra water so you don't get boil over.

>>8373637
OK I will try this technique next time I boil pot of water.
Thank you kindly for your help.

>>8372723
How would you know what atmospheric pressure i live in?! I could live in vacuum if i wanted to you ignoramus! How dare you assume my atmospheric pressure status.

>>8373916
your pressure status is listed on google so stop acting like you are ready to blow your gasket

Question, should the water I going to boil to make soup be decanted and if so for how long.
Thanks OP.

>>8374485
Yes, this removes the taste of the cans the water came in.

>>8374495
my water comes from the rain barrel so the is no metal aftertaste in it

>>8374501
>he doesn't use a metal rain barrel to defend against thirsty wood peckers
What else do do at the trailer park?

>>8374508
it's a medical grade plastic barrel originally used to keep blood supply during transfusion

>>8374517
Are you a vampire?

>>8374527
No I just work at the hospital and got it for free.

>>8374527
no I just work at a hospital and got it for free

>>8374612
O you work at the a hospital too?
that's so funny that both of us work at the a hospitals

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>>8365150
>these bubbles mean the water is drowning

is water safe to boil

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>>8365150
>Once the water gets really hot it will start to form bubbles, these bubbles mean the water is drowning.

I would like to know if there is a way to boil water to make soup using sun and pot cover made out of magnifying lens so you can cook it for free and save the electricity or gas or wood to create heat.

>>8374919
Hydrogen is a hydrocarbon, and steam has Hydrogen in it.
No matter how clean you try to boil your water it is going to cause greenhouse gasses.

>>8374968
what hydrogen I'm talking about using solar energy to boil water not hydrogen bomb, slow down

I always burnt my water, until I took a college course in Organic Chemistry. Finally learned how to not burn the water.

>>8375097
Share the secrets please, I'm sick of the strong smell in my house of burnt water it gets in my clothing,everywhere. I'm sick of it.
Please help.

>>8375116
I suggest you take OrgChem at your local college, because it will take 3 weeks to explain it here.

>>8375133
>No.8365125
3 weeks? to explain how to boil freaking water
this not like cooking a meal composed of many chemically complex ingredients, water is just 1 atom of oxygen and 2 atoms of hydrogen very simple.
Why 3 weeks faggot.

>>8375145
Because toherwise the water will burn.

>>8375145
One for each molecule you ignorant shit.

>>8375151
One week of learning for each atom, fuck what I'm supposed to do in mean time buy boiled water or cook soups in raw water.Fuck this

>>8375158
>One fathers quest to boil water for his children is thwarted by the complications of science.

>>8375159
so what's the trick asshole if you are so smart

>>8369029
>"Another idiot who fell for the meme."
>This is what passes for board culture on /ck/

Fuck all of you failed chef faggots

>>8375236
why what's your problem expert

>>8375241
>He came to a troll thread expecting a meaningful discussion that offers him an epiphany about life.

>>8375249
No I just need freaking help with proper way to boil water to make soup you massive disrespectful faggot.
Help me please you secretive asshole.

>>8375278
Seriously, just use the store bought boiled water in cans like everyone else for god's sake. I dont understand this obsession with "making everything from scratch like grandma used to". If you want soups made from authentic boiled water, go to a restaurant. Thats what they are for.

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>>8375307
>restaurant
>authentic

>>8375307
how can you carry boiled water from the store in cans, they will be so hot I prefer to boil my own water in my kitchen especially that I own SS copper bottom pots by Jamie Oliver the chef ,very famous BTW.

Jamie Oliver Tefal: Professional Series Stainless Steel Copper Cookware
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KZm--sZD6mA

>>8375321
How does copper compare with a cast iron pot as far as boiling water goes..? I get that copper conducts better. But i heard cast iron gives your boiled water some impressive maillard reaction.

>>8375343
I put a piece of copper pipe in my cast iron 5.5-qt pot to speed up heat distribution when boiling water.

>>8375197
You have to excite the water.

>>8375358
excite how,like a foreplay, touching with my fingers.
be more precise you cooking faggot

>>8374517
>haemoresidue doesn't taste like metal

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Start with hard water. ideally cut it into small chunks so it melts evenly and quickly

>>8375116
Dude, just put some Febreeze in the water and it'll keep the smells locked in at the source

>>8375437
I'm fucking boiling the water to make soup not to wash my cloths you moron.

Hello, I'm new here and I think I'm being trolled... hard. What is this meme about boiling water? It just takes water and heat right? Just combine those things and you get boiling water... what the fuck is this thread?

>>8375456
Hey, if you know a better way to keep out the smell of burned water from getting into everything I'd like to hear it.

>>8375457
Listen newbie faggot, read the whole thread and only then you will understand the various techniques and tricks to properly boil water.
Don't fucking waltz here like a cowboy trying to discredit so many posters in this thread.
Read and learn and share if you have something to contribute.

>>8375464
No I don't know any secrets that's why I started this thread, but your method is not suitable in my opinion for boiling water to make soup.
Besides I hate smell of Fabreeze it smells very gay.Actually it stinks and I will never use it even in laundry washing application never mind cooking food.
You are sick person and you are giving me wrong advise,maybe your intentions are pure but you misunderstood my needs.
Fuck your advice and your gay Fabreeze.

>>8375466
Oh yes sir, I meant no offense, my good sir. I was unaware of the numerous styles of cooking technique. Water, pan, heat, and air. Long ago the chefs of old lived in harmony but that all changed when the industrial revolution occurred. Only /ck/ could master all techniques of water boiling, but when the world needed us most, we vanished.

>>8375497
>Oh yes sir, I meant no offense,
No offence taken at all. I'm just bit stressed because I have smell of burnt water in my house and I like to eliminate that from happening again.

>>8375529
We've all been there. Febreeze is great for getting rid of the smell off your clothes tho.

>>8375581
Yes but that idiot told me to add Fabreeze to my water that I was going to boil to make soup, that asshole.
>>8375116
>>8375437
>>8375456

>>8375596
Febreeze only gets rid of smells, it won't get rid of the taste despite what the Portland Porta-potty Pasta Patrol prats might tell you.

>>8375608
Who are they?

>>8375991
Hipsters with shit taste

>>8376058
can you help me please

>>8365142
>WA LA
>not voilla
Kys you illiterate cunt

>>8365142
>>8376199
not sure wich one is trolling

>>8375362
Have you ever seen the motorized toothbrush commercials, where they put it in the water and it boils?
Think that, but bigger.

>>8376489
what about using battery operated dildo instead of a motorized toothbrush

>>8376522
This is tricky as you will have to clean the dildo with boiled water before using it

>>8376739
what about using unused dildo, brand new straight from the box
problem solved.

>>8376745
Are you saying you don't run your dildos through the dishwasher before using them?
Anon, that's so unsanitary

>>8376766
I don't fucking own dildos,I only mention them because this asshole suggested that I need to excite the water, fucking faggot >>8375358

>>8372662
so no salt at all or some

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>>8365227
You're welcome.

>>8377126
>>It is impossible with traditional methods, to get the water on the top of the pot to boil before the water below burns.
And what's the use of it if you are cooking dinner for your family?

>>8377126
How am I supposed to clean all the water out of the tubing in this device after I use it? Seems like it would get stopped up after a couple of uses.

>>8377185
>How am I supposed to clean all the water out of the tubing in this device after I use it?
Run boiling water through it

I have best method to boil water and is so simple.

>>8365125

Travel on a space shuttle up into space; the water will boil right in your hand at room temp.

>>8377604
I have obligations I can not just take off to fly into the space to boil water,I need to find solution here and fucking soon
my family had no food for last two days because I can not get straight answer from this bunch of snobs.

If I get no help I will just throw raw veggies and raw meat into the raw water and serve my family (wife and 2 kids) that, they can eat it or starve to death,
I had no other choice and my patience is running out.
So stop giving me silly ideas, come up with something reasonable and easy.

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>>8365150
HOLY

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>>8365218

>DAILY REMINDER TO PLEASE IGNORE OBVIOUS TROLL THREADS.
>replies

literal retard

>>8379395
so you think search for knowledge and scientific facts is wrong, you know that water is very flexible and is very tricky to control and boiling it is not just so simple as I'm sure many chefs here will testify.
how sad that you are not sharing your tricks and techniques.

>>8371867
In Canada we have bags of boiling water.

>>8380443
but is cold or still boiling hot?

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>>8380482
Why would I buy a bag of cold boiling water? Out of summer?

>>8380526
>Why would I buy a bag of cold boiling water?
well you could reheated at home and use it to make soup

>>8376199
No need to be so in tents

>>8380572
This. Underrated post. You guys are just making a big fuss out of a simple problem.

>>8380798
There is science behind it my friend and lot's of tricks and secrets, if you read the whole thread you would understand the magnitude of it.

>>8380572
I don't fucking buy my boiling water cold just to reheat it at home, It makes the food taste bland you pleb.

>>8380952
so where do you get you water from for cooking food
from rain barrel?

>>8380526
>Why would I buy a bag of cold boiling water?
So you can cold boil something?

>>8381674
of course you can, you just have to use dry ice so it can ignite, wet ice is hard to keep burning

>put water in sauce pan
>put sauce pan with water in it on top of stove element
>turn on stove top to high heat
>wait for water to start boiling. once boil has been achieved pour it over your head.

>>8365125
>>8382040
>>wait for water to start boiling. once boil has been achieved pour it over your head.

This is OP,
Please read carefully my post, my plan is to use that boiled water to make soup not to wash my hair.

>>8382066
Exactly. Everyone knows that burned water doesnt matter when its for washing hair, but makes a world of difference for soups. That guy is an idiot.

>>8382071
Thank you anon.
Some people are posting here just for one purpose, to troll.
I need solid honest sincere serious answers from cooks or chefs not jokes from some clowns.

>>8365125
Put a lid on the pan. It boils faster.

>>8382086
That will snuff out the bubbles, idiot.

>>8382086
>>8382090
Exactly anon, and also I will not be able to see if it's boiling or just getting warm and cozy.
Stupid suggestion, grrr