Breakfast for Beginners

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>>8360128
[2]
Add some sausage, porky.

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>>8360134
[3]
Keep cooking that sausage. Remember, the pig is an unclean animal. I'm not going
to tell you that you shouldn't eat pig. But if you do, make sure to cook it
thoroughly. Otherwise you'll get all kinds of crazy diseases. (hence why it is
widely regarded as an unclean animal)

DO NOT proceed to step 4 until that sausage is completely brown. We don't take
chances with pork.

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>>8360137
[4]
Add some of god's medicine to the batch. (sweet peas)

Why do I call it god's medicine? Because I used to be sick all of the time, and
no medicine ever helped me all that much. Then one day I discovered that eating
a bunch of sweet peas made me feel better. Everytime I got sick, I'd cook up some
peas, and it always pushed the sickness back with greater effectiveness than any
medication.

I realized the miracle, and from there forth, I always refer to green sweet peas
as "god's medicine".

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>>8360146
[5]
Add some MPK to the batch. (Meal Package Base)

>>8360128
>italian season
and that's where any respectable ha/ck/ stopped reading.

>>8360128
Wouldn't those spices burn up since they are being fried and they are so small?

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>>8360151
[6]
Keep cooking everything down. Eventually it should all start to meld together into
a nice and even mix of food.

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>>8360160
[7]
Add some Asiago because everything is better with Asiago.

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>>8360168
[8]
Add more vegetables. (to taste)

>>8360168
Why are you making dinner? Where's the breakfast you promised?

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>>8360172
[9]
Add some 'get up and go'. Remember, the whole point of breakfast is ruined if you
don't have some 'get up and go' to help you get up and go.

Those without a prescription for amphetamines can just subsitute 1 24-hour sudafed.
(pseudoephedrine, not that phenylephrine crap)

You can either grind up your cocktail into a fine powder and add it to the food,
or you can just take it all right before you eat.

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>>8360173
Not OP but I guess it differs by culture. In the Nihons for example rice and mackerel (or salmon) with a side of soup and veggies is considered breakfast. Though to be honest the veggies and soup are usually microwaved and there's practically no Japanese household without a ricecooker so the fish is the most intensive to prepare.

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>>8360179
[10]
Ta-dah! You have a nice, tasty meal to eat for breakfast.

>>8360173
Dinner should be a gronola bar. Because you're about to go to bed, so its the least-important meal.

Breakfast should be the meal where you pig out, because you're going to need energy to get through your day.

Most people have it backwards.
Make breakfast the big meal, and dinner the small meal.

Otherwise you'll just get fat. If you eat a big meal for dinner, then go to bed, your body converts most of the meal to fat.

If you eat a big meal for breakfast, then go work your ass off, your body will burn most of the meal.

>>8360128
nice bait
>>8360137
uhh...
>>8360146
not so nice bait
>>8360151
all this for a shitpost...
>>8360160
it's like an inmate threw up his prison slop into your pan
>>8360168
I would say that's a waste of good cheese but it's not good cheese
>>8360172
again, all this for a shitpost?
>>8360188
h-hes not serious, r-right guys?

>>8360128
>breakfast
>load of garlic

stopped reading there

>>8360154

>burn
>fried

I don't think you understand.

>>8360128
>Breakfast
Stopped reading there.

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>>8360172
>Add more vegetables. (to taste)
Ebin thred :DDDDDDDDDDDD

Your talk about breakfast needing to be the biggest meal is spot on though. I personally eat big from dawn til dusk, because I'm extremely skinny and I just started to take thyroxine. I'm paranoid about losing more weight.

I can't believe this got more replies than my thread
>>8357464

Decent attempt, but you're still nowhere near dessert ramen standards of bait. Keep trying though.

>>8360179
Did you just grind them up and put them in?

>>8360454
The caffeine and vitamins, yes. Ground em up and threw them in there.

The amphetamines I chose to take with water. I didn't grind them up because these are extended release. (the balls are crafted to dissolve slowly)
If I were to grind up the amphetamines, it would be basically converting them from extended release to instant release. Which is great for a quick and intense jolt of energy, but bad when you need to remain productive all day.

Also, 60 MG of instant release would be really intense. I'm not sure if my heart could take it.

>>8360370
Too much heat? Sorry I'm a noob.

>>8361090

He used water to cook everything, not oil. Nothing is gonna burn at boiling water temperatures, especially in the presence of water.

>>8361095
Note: this is bullshit, but applies 100% truthfully in this specific instance

>>8361181

I'm genuinely curious, what situation would it be bullshit?

>>8361095
You sure it's water? Looks a lot like oil to me.

>>8361208

>The base of all life is water, so let's start with some of that.

Maybe it is oil. I can't really tell by the picture, but OP clearly implied it's water.

>>8361215
>actually reading the text

>>8360137
it's unclean because jews and muslims weren't educated about hygiene.