What is the mathematically optimal way to fry an egg?

>>8358231
Using Pythagoras theorem.

Ideally past the speed of light.

>>8358231
Cooking it over easy in cast iron while watching your wife get fucked by Tyrone

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5aZt0AIBiP0

Nonstick pan, make sure to have enough butter, use this >>8358243 and have the basic motor skills.

>>8358231
crack egg in a bowl so it's easier to get the egg into the skillet without the yolk shifting from the center
medium or medium low heat
enough oil to coat the skillet, but no more
few drops of water in the pan once whites on bottom firm
cover skillet with lid after dropping water in

EGG

NICE AND CRACKED

You want the region "R" to have as much "nice" boundaries as possible.

>>8358265
IT'S FUCKING RAW

>>8358265
READY STEADY TWAT

>>8358240
Sorry, but can I get a couple /thread-a-roonies on this one?

>>8358231
I would eat the fucking shit out of that egg. I like 'em pretty raw.

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>>8358231
For me...
Poached in a griddle ring. Pi times R squared and shit, yo

>>8358267
The region "R" of the surface covered by egg on the pan is a compact set in R2

hawt pan and not olive oil

>>8358243
so they make this in a square variety or at least a bigger circle? if they dont all it can be used for is english muffins
if they make a square one ill buy the fuck out of it

>>8358231

poach it

Can we all agree that using water and covering the pan to cook the top of the egg is just the worst way of cooking? It takes one second to flip the egg. Literally Jack uses the method of water and a lid so it goes to show it is for the truly inept.

>>8358733
lel

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First heat the pan slooooowly on low heat. That's so it's even. Put the oil in there, whatever you're using who cares. If you like you can add a bit of butter. If you do add butter, you can gauge whether your pan is too hot.

Second you get your eggs ready to go into the pan. A typical skillet will heat 4 eggs or so, crack them into two small dishes (two eggs in each) and use both hands to pour them all in there at once so they all get done at the same time. Less chance to pop a yolk this way, too. It's fine if you only want one egg, too. Oh, and you can season them at this step and it works better than putting it on top later.

Third you crank up the heat and put on the lid as soon as they're in there, then let it cook for about a minute. Then you take it completely off heat and let it sit for up to a minute, depending on how firm you want your yolks.

If you preheated the pan properly your egg white should be firm all over and have a yolk that's still a little runny. Too hot and you get a lacey crust which ain't so bad, unless you leave it too long and the yolk cooks all the way through. Too cool and you messed up, put it back on heat. It'll be fine.

Don't need no water. It's pretty foolproof.

Frying it in a way that would allow the egg to cover as much surface of the bread slice it belongs on as possible. Best achieved by frying the egg in a sandwich toaster.

>>8358733
>>8358733
I do that to melt cheese on my scrambled eggs sometimes

>>8361122
Does it not just melt itself if you grate it over while the egg is still hot anyway?

PAN

NICE AND HOT

BUTTAH

EGG

IN

BASTE

DONE

Put oil on a plate, crack egg onto the plate, and microwave it for 50 seconds

>>8358231
by boiling it

>>8358498
In regard to what topology? Dont tell me you assume Euclidian.

>>8361122
wtf why do you need to do that? Its grated cheese going in a pan. It takes literally 2 seconds to melt.

Scrambled eggs are the easiest thing.

Break 2 eggs into a bowl. Add salt, pepper, and a touch of paprika (but thats just so personal choice). Grate (your preference here) amount of cheese into the bowl and stir all that shit together. Preheat the pan so its hot, but not overly so, then melt some butter in there. now just cook your eggs, but not that pleb way when they fucking dry as shit, the eggs need to be moist as hell.

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>>8358733
>Flipping the egg
>He things Over Easy is an acceptable way to cook an egg v's Sunny Side Up

You filthy casual.

>>8362793
>sunny side up
>whited over yolk
>0/10

>>8362793
*thinks

>>8362824
Best picture I could find as a comparison of the two, but if you're denying that is not Sunny Side Up because it's been done badly, you're even more insane than the poster who thinks Over Easy is acceptable.

>>8362713
can i assume euclidean if i assume the egg only ever touches the flat part of the pan?

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>>8358231
>>8358267
>>8358498
>>8362713
>>8363146
<twf to stoopid too fry and eg

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>>8363158
Hey
dude
calm
down
there
bud

>>8358243
this cunt is legit retarded.
literally can see the onion is not cooked.

>>8358231
In a pan, fool

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I cooked eggs once.

>>8358231
twice

>>8358265
HOT PAN.
OLIVE OIL.
SEASON WELL

>>8363371
>HOT PAN.
>OLIVE OIL.
you done goofed