Kitchen Fuck-Ups

>making beef stroganoff
>slightly delusional from flu medicine coursing through my veins
>accidentally misread the directions and add three cups of flour to recipe

I ended up ordering pizza that night.

>>8346616
>>8345716
>what is the catalog

>>8346653
>what is fuck off and don't tell me what to do

>>8346616
>>8346664
you're supposed to start with a story of your own, btw

File: image.png (108KB, 400x381px) Image search: [Google]

108KB, 400x381px

>>8346667
Fine.

>be me
>junior year of high school
>i end up having "foods" class with some friends of mine from middle school
>my class is making spaghetti with garlic toast
>i'm paired up with my 2 friends from middle school
>we make the spaghetti no problem
>but we forget about the garlic toast in the toaster oven because we kept dicking around on our phones
>the fucking toast catches fire with flames roughly half a foot high
>go into full panic mode
>everyone in the class is staring at us
>the teacher yells at us and ends up putting the fucking thing out
>us 3 end up getting kicked out of that class forever
>close to 7 years later
>still can't cook worth a shit
>mfw

File: received_10207039167610345.jpg (200KB, 1920x1421px) Image search: [Google]

200KB, 1920x1421px

It was a fun day, at least.

>>8346704
>dicking around on our phones
>kicked out of that class

Good.

>>8346616
>Running late for work.
>Throw hash browns on the stove.
>Spoon hash browns on styrofoam plate.
>Suddenly holding hoop made of styrofoam.
>Greasy, oily mess on kitchen floor.

I was poor back then and that was the last food I had. So I got to be bitched out by my boss AND more or less dined on the concept of bitterness and disappointment on my lunch break.

>>8346738
I know, right?

File: 1479224204086.png (114KB, 198x328px) Image search: [Google]

114KB, 198x328px

>Baking pumpkin cheesecake from scratch
> generally make good tasteing food, but comes looking like shit
>perfect swirl, its like straight out of a photoshoot
> put it in the oven to bake
>Noticed unopened bg of sugar on counter


JUST

File: JacksWaterBurgers.webm (3MB, 480x320px) Image search: [Google]

3MB, 480x320px

>>8346616
I used to think soaking ground beef in water would make them extra juicy; pic related

File: aga_0.jpg (13KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 300x300px

>got a girl to come to my house for a date
>just bought a new griddle pan
>wanted to show it off and impress her
>coo grilled Salmon
>it has really nice grill marks
>the meal is really uncomfortable
>we do not connect
>ONLY comment I make the entire meal is 'this fish has grill marks'
>say that same thing 10 times
>she looks uncomfortable, compliments the food
>it starts to thunderstorm outside
>I offer to let her sleep in my room and I will sleep on the couch
>halfway through the night feel bad and wake up
>want to get her back to liking me
>have asleep loo at the griddle pan
>go to her room
>use masking tape to tape 3 large stripes onto her thigh
>in the morning hear her waking up
>walk into the room
>point to her thigh
>'this fish has grill marks!'
>she looks at her legs screams and threatens the police
>i apologise and pay for her taxi home

File: 1475635841170.gif (1024KB, 184x141px) Image search: [Google]

1024KB, 184x141px

>>8347544

>>8347544
im mad i read this to the end.

>>8347140
I has one similar to this but with bacon grease. Normally let grease cool before putting in plastic bag and tossing it. Forget to let it cool and have grease and plastic all over floor

Not really a fuckup but I guess just disappointment.

Ton of family over for the weekend, get drunk so they all spend the night.
I wake up extra early and start cooking breakfast for everyone because I figured it would be nice to have after a good night of drinking. There was roughly 8 of us and I decided to make the works making a full breakfast some top-notch sausage gravy with biscuits and making some toast eggs bacon sausage. Everyone wakes up and starts their morning but all of them politely decline my breakfast and move on with their day to leave. Everyone except my mom. End up beating that breakfast as leftovers over the course of the next two days.

( I know it's not because I make shit food because I'm actually pretty good at cooking)