Your Greatest Cooking Disasters

https://youtu.be/njew6gJHT2Y

>>8345716
I think that qualifies as a drinking disaster, rather than a cooking disaster.... Drinking probably compelled you to share that much food without giving it a second thought.

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>>8345716

>>8345739
im lucky we didnt all die in a fire

>>8345739

Honestly this is some good ducking advice. I've destroyed a lot of food while cooking drunk. Some times you just add too much salt and sometimes you fall asleep and turn a pizza into a disc of charcoal.

>>8345716
Threadly reminder that there was literally nothing wrong with that pizza

Probably more of an Ambien Walrus story, but one time in college, I took a pill to go to sleep around 10, got up, and my buddies watched me make a bearnaise sauce from scratch. It took a good amount of time, they even stopped playing Halo.

When I was just about done, I microwaved a Cup O' Noodles, poured in the bearnaise, and ate it over the sink.

I remember none of this.

>>8345854
THAT WAS THE THIN CRUST

I burned ramen once

>>8345854

This. Would eat and bathe in it's grease afterwards.

>>8345854
Wasn't the dough still raw in the middle? I'd say that's a little bit wrong.

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>>8345716
>be 12 years old
>decide "I'm gonna cook soup!" (I don't know how to cook)
>pour milk into pot
>put on boil
>pour in shredded taco cheese from a pack
>crack several eggs in "It'll make it more foody!"
>stir it out (but not the bottom)
>get impatient eventually
>think "It's probably done"
>whatever the fuck it was probably wasn't done
>resulting soup is slimy inedible goop with eggshells and burnt egg in it
>perfectly good pot is ruined
i think back to this sometimes.

>>8345750
KEK

>>8345739
Is it really that big an issue when you forget you're cooking while drunk?

>>8346683
It is if the thing you're cooking catches fire, yeah.

>>8346687
I guess I'm just too paranoid to leave the kitchen.

>>8345716

I really don't understand what Ramsay's problem was with that pizza, it looked fucking glorious to me

>>8346691
Even then, drunk people have a habit of falling asleep. You know, you're feeling a little groggy, you'll just sit down and keep an eye on the...zzzzzzz

>>8345854
>>8346696
/tv/ pls

>>8345716
>grilling with propane

You did this to yourself faggot

>>8346695
the dough was raw and soggy from all the oil
that is what was wrong with it.
it was supposed to be fucking thin crust

>>8345716
I burnt the water. Also:

>age 7
>want potato
>find little potato
>put it in microwave for 8 minutes (or was it 20 minutes?)
>kitchens smoking like a motherfucker after I come back after a while
>open microwave
>a meteorite of what used to be my potato is sitting there
>grab it
>its hot
>quick slide it out and over the counter
>catch it with my shirt
>take it outside
>go to toss it
>there's a whole in my shirt of where the potato used to be
>go back to kitchen
>it's melting a hole into the linoleum
>kick it outside

That was fun.

>>8346879
A whole hole in your shirt?

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I'll share a recent from thanksgiving.

>making thanksgiving dinner co opt with my mom
>she wants me to make mash potatoes among other
>no problem since I make an amazing mash
>already get first indication it's not going to go well
>instead of picking up the good potatoes she said she would she picks them up at this place that regularly has bad produce
>FUCK
>have to roll with it since no place is open
>prep it and dice it perfect for the boil
>I set the pot for exactly how I want
>while I wait for it to get to the right temperature I work on my other dish
>unknown to me my mom turns the fucking heat down to low without asking me
>I come back to check them and there undercook and said heat is down to low
>WTF MOM
>"oh I thought the heat was too high for my liking"
>don't have enough time to cook it to the perfect consistency because guests are here
>work around it best I can and mash it as best I can
>can already tell it's going to be bad and I'm dying a little inside
>no one goes for seconds for my mash it turned out that bad
>mom comes up to me after the dinner
>"no offense anon but your mash potatoes were really bad
>mfw

Never again

>>8346876
>it was supposed to be fucking thin crust
>thin crust

Thin crust sucks, that pizza is already on the thin side anyway

>>8346295
with a bit of luck you could even have made some killer scrambled eggs

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>>8345716
>propane

if you're going to be dickered and grilling, work intensive grill is best grill

>>8347035
your mom sounds like a jealous cunt

>tfw my mom would probably pull some shit like that

aaand that's why I'm spending holidays with friends
fuck family

>>8346871
>he wants to taste the heat instead of the meat

>>8347074
She is honestly. I'm completely convinced she sabotaged my dish.

>>8347035
>autism

just cook the potatoes for a while longer, at most they take 8-9 minutes at a boil.

>>8347218
>autism

You don't really know what that word means do you?

>>8347063
Not with my 12 year old skillset and autism.
Also, this was still mostly milk, they'd be the runniest and loosest scrambled eggs imaginable, with shells in them.

>>8345716
i'm just going to go with the tl;dr version
>decided to make a 4 course dinner for my gf for her birthday.
>everythin is going well, about 1-2 hours of cooking i decide to strain my redwine sauce.
>put my sieve above the sink and start pouring it down the drain
felt pretty amazing to make sure i saved the stuff i didn't want to save and throw away the actual sauce.
oh well, i did the sauce again so no worries

>>8347623
My mom has tried to do the exact same thing. I stopped her halfway through

>>8347750
i actually managed to stop myself but was left with like 0.5dl which didn't change the situation at all