I made meatballs. Would you eat them?

>>8335082

Those look more like meat lumps tbqh.

maybe if you hadn't gayed it up with that plating

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>>8335082
Yeah. I like the caramalization on them.(inb4 Malliard, moron).

A little pretentious on the presentation, of course, but I suppose you're some kind of "chef de cuisine."

So what was the recipe? Or are you too patrician and noble to divulge anything but a cake recipe?

>>8335082
I'd eat pretty much anything. But a fat man eating food is no reflection on your ability. Shit looks gay as fug tbqhf

>>8335250
Lizzy looks like a slag, I'd ride it, the grey hair is doing it for me.

>>8335114

Yeah, they were meatballs that were cut in half. So you're right, they were essentially meat lumps.

>>8335250

Pretty standard recipe. Parmesan, milk soaked bread crumbs and ground brisket. Really the only special ingredient I used was some smoked tomato salt that I made the week before for a different special.

>>8335338
How much do you charge for those 3 bucks of ingredients? I'm not implying skill should be free, just interested.

>>8335338
>smoked tomato salt

OK. In looking at my post again, maybe I was a bit of a dick, and I'm going to humble myself by asking how you make smoked tomato salt?

>>8335348

Six bucks. I just took this job running a cafe in a fine art museum. It's...weird. I come from years at an extremely busy 200 seat mom and pop, very fast casual. This is a different thing. Our regular menu is extremely pedestrian but we have a tapas night each Tuesday and this is one of the things I ran utilizing leftovers from our parent company which is a big catering company.

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>>8335353

Pretty straight forward actually. I smoked a bunch of tomatoes, just a couple of hours in a low smoke hickory fire, dehydrated them and then ran it in through a coffee grinder (I use it for spices exclusively) with some kosher salt. Pic related is the original brisket tapas I made the smoked tomato salt for.

>>8335367
Café? A café with... meatballs? A café in a fine art museum with meatballs? Truly the world has more than one can fathom. Isn't tapas meant for the evening? Museums don't stay open so late in my experience. I suppose it would be too revealing to ask where it is but I'll ask anyway. Where is this meatball serving, tapas afternoon, fine art museum?

>>8335082
only if i can meet your balls, anon ;)

>>8335378
I just looked up tapas after writing this and it appears it is an afternoon thing. I look like a bit of a tit now.

>>8335082
I would prefer some of Kays good meatballs, honestly
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=9BKcjBaKRkk

>>8335387

With the exception of Tuesday, the cafe operates eleven to three and the museum hours are ten to four. On Tuesday's it's free admission and we stay open from eleven until nine. Live music, drink specials and, unique tapas each week.

>>8335391

I would prefer her oil black eggs for brunch, personally.

>>8335378

Why do you hate balls of meat anon? They were, pretentious presentation notwithstanding, delicious. Also, there were other options.and I'm in Florida,.

>>8335398
>she puts lard into the pot to cook the eggs in
>it turns black as soon as it melts
sort of says something about the hygiene of her cookware

>>8335387
I wouldn't worry about it. No one but an autist noticed. Thanks for the tip on smoked tomato salt.

Sorry I was a dick initially. You're a genuinely decent human being. I normally save my venom for pretentious jackasses, and you're not that.

Thanks again.

>>8335402
Wut? Are you OP? If so, who is this>>8335395

>>8335406
Can no one follow conversation? I'm not OP you moron.

>>8335407

I am, in fact, both of those, that is to say, me.

>>8335404
Which makes me wonder how many years of flavor have been burnt into that particular saute pan. I'm not saying it would be good, but it would be...historic.

>>8335421
>I am, in fact, both of those, that is to say, me.
Apparently you are also William Shatner

>>8335406

I'm happy to share. I don't think any chef worth their salt should hoard recipes or techniques. I'm good at what I do but I'm not great. I've, surprisingly, learned and been led into a lot of interesting directions on this board. I try to give back when I can.

>>8335429

That's oddly topical. We spent an hour today in my kitchen listening to William Shatner covers. It started with Rocket Man, but in introducing my sous to that fantastic bit of musical ephemeral I discovered a plethora of other (I'm assuming) more recent covers. It's wonderful morning music in the kitchen.

>>8335439

Just...beacuse. I don't know about where you work but in my kitchen, everybody sings and everybody laughs. This is moral gold.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CthW1MgWYuE

>>8335444

*morale

>>8335439
I used to work in a kitchen as well, we listened tothrash metal. I was not unuasual for our head chef to almost fight other staff. Our KP didn't take his shit though and they actually had fist fights on occassion. The KP usually won though, I was always surprised he never got fired from spite. He was fucking good at his job though. Looking back, I think they might have been gay boys.

>>8335451

That's a possibility, though honestly, I'm not an aggressive leader so I've only had a couple of blow ups with my cooks. I'm generally more the shaming type, If I can't work your station better and cleaner than you than I don't get to call you on your shit. Of course, I can, so on occasion I've taken people off their stations and had them stand byto watch while I rocked it and then gave it back to them once service slowed.

>>8335472
I never had that problem, I went from dishwasher to pizza chef in 2 months (the old dishwasher got promoted when I was hired and then demoted as I took his job, I kinda felt sorry for him but he was a lazy cunt).. It wasn't high end but I made and tossed the dough and had some say in ingredients. This was a kitchen where we had input and it was so weird seeing the chef blow up at the KP. This is why I think they were lovers on reflection.

>>8335367
>plating and presentation like that
>in the cafe of a museum for 6 dollars

would you be offended if I called you a liar

>>8335496

The kitchen dynamic is a strange one, especially in places that don't actually have a brigade system in place. We have a saying that it isn't personal during the rush. I've heard some completely horrible and inappropriate things said in the heat of the moment that out of context would have led to blows but ultimately, at the end of a crazy service ended up being shots and beers. Kitchen culture is fucked up, but it seems to work for the people who are in it.

>>8335521
That is exactly my point though, shit gets rough on a busy service and you can laugh about it later when you aren't in one million degrees celsius and rushing. I think that I am still processing the realisation that my chef and KP were having violent pseudo sex at work.

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>>8335515

Not at all. It's a strange situation. We hemorrhage money. The thing is, the company I work for has a major restaurant in our city, but makes most of it's money doing catering. It is a catering company, first and foremost. We run the cafe so that they get by default every function and event that takes place at the museum (which also has really amazing gardens). So we're basically just filling space so that the company can do three or four $20,000 events a month at this establishment. As I said previously, it's a strange gig. This is the first time I've ever worked in a kitchen where labor and food cost were just sort of...inconsequential. So we service the twenty or thirty people a day who are visiting the museum and want to stop in for a grilled cheese sandwich or sala, and once a week i make three or four tapas that are delicious and beautiful but nobody buys because they just want a grilled cheese sandwich or macaroni and cheese. I changed the pricing to $6 for our tapas this week to see if it would make any difference in what people bought. It didn't. I did this salmon crudo, for six dollars, and sold two.

>>8335535

Every one has a work wife in the kitchen. And it isn't gay if you say good game at the end of it.

>>8335082
>>8335375
>>8335545
Maybe you should make the servings bigger so people don't pay more for less

>>8335690
Typical fat American. Caring more about portion size than flavor. I bet you would ask for extra kraft singles to go with your bucket of free bread. Disgusting.

>>8335731

Not that guy, but if it were a multiple course dinner that serving size would be a non-issue. However, given that this is a single, individual serving they're paying for and not multiple dishes... it is on the small side.

>>8335750
OP said it was tapas you uncultured fat cunt.

>>8335082
>meatballs not round
>your finished dish is a cyclops
Nope

>>8335779
I have read a lot of stupid shit here but I honestly can't decipher this. Are you mentally ill?