eggsplosion

Lol fapping LOL
XD
Lol

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>I'm a big fan of deviled eggs
>make a big batch about 5 times a month
>decide to make some fucking gourmet styled ones
>add pieces of bacon to the bottom of each egg, underneath where the yolk mixture goes
>use sriracha mayo to mix the yolk with
>I'm a big fan of hot sauces and peppers too
>decide to make this batch extra special
>mix in a healthy glob of Dave's Insanity Sauce to the yolk mixture
>put a slice of black olive on top of each deviled egg
>splash of paprika for looks
>I put them in the fridge to cool
>about an hour later, I'm playing some COD when I hear my 1 year old daughter crying, and my wife freaking out
>she fed some of the egg to my daughter
>my wife took a bite first, but didn't taste the yolk mixture before feeding it to the baby
>we give the baby some whole milk to wash it down
>2 hours go by before she calms down
>later that night, she starts screaming again when it comes out
>oh princess, I know that feel

>>8310833
>he's never rubbed one out in the kitchen
what the fuck is wrong with you?

>>8310841
you should be in jail

>>8310847
Make it happen, nigger. There's youtube videos of children proving their ability to munch capsaicin. My daughter is just a weak bitch.

For what it's worth, she's much better now. almost 2 and eating xxxxtra hot cheetos, and eating off of my habanero filled plate.

On the other hand, her butthole has constant blisters.

>>8310851
On second thought, that last comment came out wrong. I'm going to assume we all know I meant in a fiery way, not an incriminating prison sentence way.

>>8310841
how does an egg yolk break on it's own like that

i don't get the dvd one

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>>8310841
>dat gif

>>8310829
>finish rubbing one out in the kitchen
>clean up the eggsplosion
Are you talking about masturbation senpai

> read a 4chan image macro about microwaving a whole egg to make it blow up
> it takes way longer than expected
> keep adding another 30 seconds
> BLAM! the door flies open and egg goes everywhere

Man, this was like 8 years ago.

>>8310856
Egg yolk can break on its own if he oil is too hot or if you put it in too early.

As for the DVD one, every person who's ever watched the DVD Screensaver has tried to wait for the letters to go directly into the corner.

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>>8310841
>screensaver in the corner

>>8310856

Occasionally the DVD screensaver thing will bounce off the corner, basically reflecting diagonally instead of doing two bounces off of the side and top.

>>8310841
no pennies in this country so i always fill up gas + $0.02 for that free gas

>>8310841
At least you've got her onto it from a young age.
Hot shit's top yo'

>>8312794
Fuck yeah. I have three kids now, and as a right of passage, I have each of them bite a tiny piece of a habanero pepper when they turn five.