Over-engineered turkey

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Another pic from last year to get things started

>>8284463
>Or I could try to make them into giant buffalo wings.

Do this. I've heard of it before. I think they call them Dinosaur Wings as a joke.

I'm doing turkey this year for my family as well. Going to debone the whole bird and stuff it with something. Haven't decided yet. Not as granular as your plan, but for the thighs maybe something similar to the breasts, give diners a dark and white meat option.

>>8284473
Not a very funny joke I presume.

>>8284463
I remember your thread last year. Big fan! Looking forward to see what you do this year.

>>8284463
>I'm the anon that did weird things to his turkey last year

Did you fuck it?

>>8284500
Sounds good, I learned how to debone from the Pepin video
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Ku5p1CcGn70
For stuffing it, why not just use stuffing? I heard of clam stuffing recently, which makes sense because it's similar to regular stuffed clams. You could also stuff it with root vegetables, let them soak up the juices.

>>8284463
>Also, a question. I've heard of the benefits of brining. I'm not going to attempt it on this practice turkey because of timing, but would it be worthwhile for Thanksgiving?
Yes it would be, I am going to be brining my bird and smoking it. Just remember to dry things off very well if you want crispy skin as brines make things wet.

>Also I have a marinade syringe arriving from amazon on Sunday, could I use this for a quick and dirty brine?
Yes you can if the salt content is high enough, but remember though that because you are injecting it directly into the meat that less will go further as you dont have to rely on osmosis.

K..keep me posted

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Got tired of waiting for it to thaw, trying the microwave

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Starting to part it out/skin it. Trying to end up with as much usable skin at the end of it

Thank you for doing this, I hate how everyone needs to roast a turkey every Thanksgiving. There are so many better ways to cook turkey, roasting it whole results in a subpar turkey as different parts of the bird cook in different ways. Your turkey breast will be so much better than your average thanksgiving meal.

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Almost done. Some meat close to the rib cage is still frozen so I'm losing a bit when I tear it out with my hands unfortunately

>>8285472
Let it thaw while you work, shave it off the bones and use it in your stuffing as a farce.

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Here are my main parts, the breasts on the right are laid out how they're going to be glued, and you can see the extra skin I left on the drumsticks for wrapping them up later

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And here's the skin laid out, tenderloins on the left, intact wishbone on the right. I included my carcass so you guys could rip on my inefficiency.

>>8285480
Yeah I'll probably just grind it up for my drumstick idea. I'm tempted to make a stock with the carcass also but I'm also pretty lazy

Hi Opie, hope this information helps however slightly

http://www.seriouseats.com/2012/11/the-food-lab-the-truth-about-brining-turkey-thanksgiving.html

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=deLPl5Bv5Ts

>>8285523
stock is like the easiest shit though come on. That's your gravy right there

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I am eagerly anticipating where this thread is going

>>8285528
You're right, I don't think I'll be cooking everything today as its getting late and I'm kind of drunk so I'll put the carcass in the freezer for tomorrow. It will be good practice for real thanksgiving gravy making.

I'm setting up to glue the breasts, pics incoming

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Alright here's the initial breast wrapping setup, the idea is to stack everything together roughly then use the Saran Wrap to tighten it up into a loaf. Unfortunately due to my drumstick idea it doesn't look like the skin will be big enough, so I'll be using a piece of skin from the back to patch it together. Shouldn't be too ugly

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the set up

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added the second skin. pretty ugly unfortunately, but that's just how she goes boys

Best thread on /ck/ right now.

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and here she is wrapped up. this is the ugly side

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and the pretty side. so cute. next up is drumsticks

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Drumstick with skin intact and peeled down. Going to remove the tendons from this one, going to do the ground meat one tomorrow I think.

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>>8285396
Thanks OP.

>>8284463
Those thighs have some fat on them, and those folds are going to want some direct flavor application. I'd consider a cajun or peppercorn rub, something with punch and pungency, where the fat will add a richness while accentuating the more unique flavor profile of the thigh.

Altenatively, debone them and stuff them with a satchet of herbs, or herbed butter, with the same lower temp approach. Could even aim for a roulade-style presentation if one were so inclined.

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>>8285696
my pleasure friend

Here's the first step to de-tendoning the drumstick. Cut them off around the base then I'm going to rip them out with plyers, scraping back the meat with a knife wherever I meat resistance

>>8285701
I wish there was a vid of this step

>For the other leg I'm going to roll down the skin, remove all meat - leaving the bone clean, grind the meat with some white meat, bread crumbs, and spices, pack that back around the bone, and roll the skin back up, securing with meat glue. Then I'll sous vide and fry them. The goal here is to have the ideal cartoon-like drumstick.
You're doing God's work.

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initial results from de-tendoning. I did the best I could but I think the concept itself is flawed. There are tons of tendons, and when you rip them out, out comes a portion of meat as well. I could have used a third hand, as I needed one hand holding the drumstick down, one hand pulling with the pliers, and one hand scraping the meat off the tendon as I pulled. It'll look nicer when I roll the skin back up, but I remain hopeful for the ground meat leg.

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And here it is all wrapped up and nice. I'm done with my mad science for the night, I'll be picking back up tomorrow with the other drumstick and I still have to come up with something to do with the thighs, which are unfortunately skinless now due to the breast loaf. If you have any ideas of how to process them let me know, it's appreciated

>>8285769
Make the thighs into turkey nuggers

>>8285664
that is pretty cute

>>8284468
Can I have Thanksgiving at your house?
Please?
My Thanksgivings are bitter fake attempts by family members eating my food getting drunk and leaving.
I always feel worse off the day after.

>>8285736

The tendons on turkey leg suck. Took them out for a sous vide confit legs last year and it was a pain in the ass

>>8284463
CAN YOU PLEASE STOP POSING ABOUT YOUR MEME TURKEY

>>8287113
I think his turkey probably tastes pretty damn good.

>>8284463
>Benefits of brining
Brining is touted by TV chefs and bloggers with nothing original to talk about as a miracle cure for dry bird. It's also one of the biggest sources of disinfo out there.

Some things to keep in mind:
>Brining is ineffective on most store-bought birds... If your turkey says anything resembling "Injected with a X% solution", brining won't do much to improve the texture.
>You've got to make a pretty strong brine solution, and keep it below 40*F for several days. Keep in mind that ice will dilute the strength of your brine solution, causing adverse effects.
>Brined turkeys cook significantly faster and more unevenly than untreated birds
>If you don't take the time to rinse off the excess brine from the bird, including under the skin, you're going to have a salt bomb.
>Salt type matters. Use pickling salt which contains no iodide or anti-caking agents.
>Birds float in brine, so you need to get creative.

My brine consists of about two heads of garlic peeled and smashed, two quartered onions, two lemons halved, 2tbsp peppercorns boiled with the brine, a fistful of fresh sage, and a few jalapenos sliced, plus adequate salt and light brown sugar. Contact for 72 hours.

>>8287247
>>If you don't take the time to rinse off the excess brine from the bird, including under the skin, you're going to have a salt bomb.
No you're not. That salt just gets absorbed into the turkey and spreads throughout the entire turkey via osmosis. An extra spoon of salt spread throughout the entire turkey will make no difference.

>>8287320
In my experience the skin becomes almost inedible if you don't rinse

>>8287247
>dont use iodized salt

as someone with a thyroid disease who has to use that in every meal, it doesn't change anything. dont influence ppl with the iodine hate meme

i like brining for flavor, not for.. any of the other reasons.
i usually use:
>fresh thyme
>cinnamon sticks
>cloves
>peppercorns
>fresh rosemary
>smashed garlic
>brown sugar

it's pretty good. mine came out more sweet than salty last year so i'll probably lightly salt afterwards

>>8287320
this guy is right. if you brine it, and then rub it with salt under the skin, it might be too salty...

>>8284463
Had a long ass post but due to mobile that got dicked twice.

tl:Dr
Always brine. 1 cup salt to 1 gallon water, enough to submerge the bird. 36 hours minimum for larger birds, never less than 24. If not making stuffing, which you should and opt for dressing, add 1/3 cup of brown sugar simple to the brine. Fresh sage and rosemary are excellent additions, but for the sweet brine I would go sage. Let that fucker dry for a couple hours if you want some crispy skin, ideally 6 hoursish in the fridge.

Will be lurking. Last year's thread was tits.

Hey guys I'm at work now so I'll be picking back up later. Question though. I thawed the turkey out in the microwave, then worked on it at room temp for a few hours, then packed it up and refrigerated it. Am I fucked in terms of bacteria? Or will cooking it take care of that? I know that bacteria dies above 165°f, but the sous vide temperature guides I'm seeing online suggest 150°f for turkey. Should I just sous vide at 165°f? Or do you think the frying afterwards would take care of it? This won't be an issue on actual Thanksgiving since I'll cook it immediately after prepping it, I'm just worried about eating the current turkey tonight

>>8287499
and thanks for the brining info above. I'll have to call my mom and guide her through the brining process, as I live a distance away and it seems that time is a big factor.

Alright guys getting started again, working on the other drumstick now. Don't have a real grinder unfortunately so I'm going to do it with a food processor.

Also if someone can answer >>8287499 is really appreciate it. I'd like to avoid food poisoning if possible

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>>8288317
Oops, pic

>>8288320
can't fucking wait

>>8287499
>>8288317
I wouldnt worry too much, it isnt the bacteria that are the worry rather it is their waste and what they break down into post death. Likely the amount that grew would not be enough to result in sickness.

>>8288317
By frying, do you mean deep frying? If so, typical frying occurs ranges from at least 350 degrees to 400.

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>>8288338
Great, thanks

I think I'm just going to throw away this leg meat once removed, dealing with the tendons isn't worth it, and I have meat from the tenderloins

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got the meat off and scraped the bone, working on meat mix now

>>8288431
You're doing god's work.

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ground up the tenderloins and some breast with breadcrumbs, salt, pepper, onion powder, garlic powder, and cayenne. I'm worried it's a little dry but we'll see, I'm sure it'll come together

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it actually clumped together really nicely, didn't have to fuss with it too much

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skin rolled up, turned out to be a bit small unfortunately, had to take out a little meat

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and wrapped up. had to make sure I didn't mess with the skin seam there, it just barely had overlap

>>8288575
This is really cool.

You should get a new pair of scissors though.

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now I got my ghetto sous vide machine heating up. It's just a $16 temperature controller from amazon regulating voltage to a hot plate. I'm going to cook the drumsticks and the breast loaf tonight, remaining are the wings and thighs (skinless) which I'm not really interested in doing anything to really. I'll likely grind the thighs for taco meat but it'll go undocumented, as for now I'll just update when they come out of the bath in like an hour and a half

>>8288609
keep me posted

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they're going in, pretty happy with appearances at least

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bunch of pics incoming

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the legs were put in at the same time, the darker one being the ground meat leg, the lighter one the de-tendoned leg

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so this one tasted like a turkey meatball as one would expect. it was a nice experience but I wouldn't put it in a restaurant or anything

>>8289210
This looks utterly bland

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This one was excellent, really what I was hoping for out of this. As much of a bitch as de-tendoning it was, the uninterrupted bite to the bone through all the muscle grain was so satisfying - the effort was worth it. I'll be doing this method for thanksgiving, though probably leaving the drumstick attached to the thigh. 10/10

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>>8289218
it was seasoned properly, taste wise it was good, the texture was just too meatbally

another glamor shot

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Nice shot of the breast loaf. Came out as well as it did last year, I made sure to salt all around the breasts this time so it's better seasoned

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Tried to make a club sandwich with it, lacked lettuce sadly

very nice. i just finished up a duck chili and a side of quinoa, with corn, cubed roasted sweet potato and pumpkin seeds for my friendsgiving tomorrow.

may end up doing a similar side for real thanksgiving because i liked this one a lot.

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Last shot. It was a great sandwich, breast meat was very juicy, really hoping I don't get food poisoning now.

>>8289253
I'm envious of your sandwich.

>>8289253
I don't know what it's called, but I just cooked a sirloin, cut it up and with the left over garlic, oil, juices and butter in the pan i mopped it up with bread and toasted it on the pan then made a sandwich out of it with sharp chedder and thick cut pickles.

>>8289224
>>8289244

Amazing. Epic thread.

>>8284463
has it occurred to you that your family probably wants to eat a regular unmolested turkey you autist

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>>8284463
This has been very cool. Thanks for the new perspective

>>8284532

you should always leave the bird or whatever you just smoked uncovered in the fridge overnight to develop pellical (sp? the tacky form the skin takes on after being left to dry out a bit)

>>8289299

fuck you. we're all sick of "regular, dried out, underseasoned, unmolested turkey".

>>8284463

OP, you need to brine that bird overnight. it's a must.

you could attempt a roulade, but it's kind of a gamble going all in on being confident enough that you'll be able to pull it off technically assuming you have one chance to get it right and no prior experience..

as for the thighs/wings/etc, it would be a logical choice to get some duck fat and confit them in that with an herb sache, some fingerling potatoes, and shallot.

you could attempt a sausage or even a rillette if you don't have access to the proper sausage making equipment.

for the love of god, though: brine your turkey

>>8289198
I cannot express how happy I am to see someone successfully create a cartoon drumstick

Great thread!

OP, I hope you'll show us how your entire thanksgiving dinner comes out.

>>8289244
Looks perfectly cooked inside.

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>>8290242
I'm glad. It was something I've wanted to try since I was a kid essentially. It was fun to do, the texture just wasn't there unfortunately. Try the de-tendoned drumsticks at some point though - one of the more satisfying things I've eaten recently

>>8290355
I will, I'll be juggling a turkey and a few sides while surrounded by guests though so I'll likely just post the result

>>8289244
did you MSG the breast and legs?

>>8291285
nah not this year, slipped my mind. Everything had an appropriate amount of salt though, flavor was good on everything