Post roommate horror stories

>>8267440
I had this one faggot roommate that would try to start threads on 4chan without posting content

>>8267450
Hey! I know that guy :D

>2004
>longtime gf and I break up, she moves out
>drinking buddy was always sleeping on couch anyways, he moves into second bedroom that's now vacant (she had used it as an painting studio)
>his gf breaks up with him
>sad sack bachelor life commences
>eating ramen and getting trashed constantly
>pile of food trash keeps growing on kitchen counters
>pile of used dishes in sink grows and grows
>they inevitably converge, continuing to grow
>we christen it Mt. Dishmore and continue living as total pathetic slobs
>green/gray water now fills the kitchen sink beneath mt dishmore
>finally have to take the dishes to the shower to rinse them and put them through the dishwasher in shifts
>wretch inducing smell unleashed by disturbing the ecosystem,persists for like a week after everything was clean
>roommate disappears shortly after to smoke crack with his retard friend
>I get my life together
>years later see him working as like a busboy at fucking o'Charley's, this dude is like 35 by then
>grateful to past self for getting it together

>>8267480
Sad and gross story but good for you to make things better for yourself

>>8267519
Thanks, I'm glad I can look back on those times and laugh. Other dude, probably not so much.

Oh man, I've got stories for days from living on campus. My college has dorms that are either townhouses or apartments, so there's several of us in one place, and we have a full kitchen.

>come home from class
>roommate is making spaghetti
>noodles, jar of sauce. Cool, whatever.
>proceed to watch her add hot sauce, cheddar cheese, and ranch
>go into bedroom appalled

>clean kitchens are a must for me
>I make sure to do my dishes frequently, usually while I'm cooking
>roommate hasn't washed hers in ages
>tell her to wash her dishes
>she says "well, it's just, life's been distracting"
>tell her I don't give a shit, this is the 4th time in 6 months we've had this discussion
>tell her if she doesn't start doing her dishes, I'll start putting them in her bed
I actually may be making good on that threat today.

>occasionally offer roommate food when I make a bunch
>she starts eating all of my stuff
>If you don't reply to this post your mother will die in her sleep tonight.

>>8267533
Please tell me you live a more content life now. What do you do?

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>>8268047
wow

>I offer to make breakfast for dinner
>roommate a asking me at 4pm for dinner
>roommate b is already in the kitchen making meatballs that they're going to put in the freezer even though they've already packed the freezer full of shit and never eaten it
>sink full of dishes
>roommate a and b look at me like i'm the asshole

fuck i'm mad

>>8267440
>He puts ketchup on his sirloin steak which has been cooked until it's well-done

Would a kind anon mind posting The Story of Jed?

>roommate and I split chores evenly
>I have weird anxiety about other people washing the dishes (it's mostly listening to the sounds) so I always do them, even if they're not mine
>we cook dinner independently but always offer dinner to one another
>we get along great and have never had issues

>>8267480
This is why I limit how many dishes I keep in house. Forces you to clean them.

My roommate found my cum rations

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These are more friend horror stories and I'm the horror lol

>have Dorritos 3Ds
>knowing they are hollow and poke a hole in one
>fill it up with turtle food pellets
>put it on top of the other and offer my friend some
>he eats it, is all WTF and spits it out has green teeth and tongue lol

>Have a box of mini Slim Jims
>Friends over
>Convince friend A to stick one of the Jims up his anus
>We give it to the other friend
>He eats it
>Ask "you like rim jims?" and burst out laughing
>He curses us and runs into the bathroom lol

Now room mates lol

>Room mate says she does not need sugar in her sunday gravy
>Whenever it's cooking and I get alone with it, I dump in some sugar and mix it in
>Everytime I do this everyone enjoys it more than usual and congratulates her on how good it is, even she agrees and eats more of it

>>8268289
Kek

>>8268077
>I have weird anxiety about other people washing the dishes (it's mostly listening to the sounds) so I always do them, even if they're not mine

I have this too and it took three months of therapy for me to realize it was because my shitty parents would always do chores angrily before I had a chance to get to them (i.e. i would come home from school and my mother would be folding the laundry and glare at me and i would KNOW it was because i "made her" do the laundry by not doing it earlier), and then they would guilt me for days about it afterwards. If I offered to help they'd be like NO I GOT IT SINCE I DO EVERYTHING ANYWAY.

It got so bad that I started being late for work because my anxiety wouldn't leave until I did the dishes in the morning and knew I couldn't get yelled at for it later. But then I would come home anyway to something like "you did all the dishes but you couldn't take ten seconds to empty the recycling??!"

Does that count as a shitty roommate story? Are parents roommates if your name is on the lease and you pay 2/3rds of the rent?

>>8268047
u suck

>>8267440
University
Live with 4 guys who all bring their own dishes
No one cleans their dishes
Sink stinks
I throw their dishes in the trash
I'm not edgy, they were just slobs

>>8268047
safe. you fucking moron.

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>>8268047

>>8268287
Living the dream

>>8268311
>Does that count as a shitty roommate story? Are parents roommates if your name is on the lease and you pay 2/3rds of the rent?

Yes and yes.

>>8267480
I adopted a system when I lived with roomates wherever I was that I would have 1 aesthetically unique plate that was mine. That's the only one I ever had to do.
It's so simple, I don't see why people don't do this.

>>8267440
>be in college
>hot blonde roommate moves in who has bf
>fug her on and off
>7 years later
>Still think about that sweet ass

I wonder where she is or what she looks like these days

>>8268047
You're an uptight bitch to be completely honest.
Don't worry though, I still hate your dumb as fuck room mates.

>>8268047
Nigger

>>8268311
it definitely counts as abuse

>>8268047
Fuck off

>>8268047
I love you dearly, I want to be your baby. I want to kiss your feet and lick your asshole.

>>8268289
top zoz

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>>8268287
Yeah, that might be true, but they'll never see cool pictures like this!

>>8268047
terrible stories us sound like a baby

My roommate keeps fucking drinking my alcohol. Wat do?

>>8268047
Oh God dammit

>>8268047
fuck off

>>8268648
Pee in the empty bottles and leave them next to the real booze

I once had a roommate try to cook macaroni and cheese on the stove in my Pyrex measuring cup. It exploded and sent boiling water and glass shrapnel all over the kitchen. He could never satisfactorily explain why he didn't just use a pot.

>>8268634
I thought that was a rotisserie chicken from the thumbnail

>>8268047
I thought I was safe here

>>8268648
when you're going to drink just buy enough for you to get drunk that night so its not laying around the house

>>8268648
Keep them in your own room or get an adult to be your roommate.

>>8268250
Doing that doesn't make you better. You are still just as gross, only you are kind of not allowing yourself to be as gross. You still are. The only decent way to be is to wash the dish after you use it. I can't fucking stand people who put a dish into the sink and leave it there. WASH OUR GOD DAMNED DISH IMMEDIATELY. its easier to wash, it keeps the kitchen clean. WASH YOUR FUCKING DISH YOU SACK OF SHIT.

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>>8268047
m-m-mommy!! *burp* nno mommy *fart*

>>8268075
The poor mountaineer who barely kept his family feed?

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>>8268047

>>8268047
cunt

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>>8268047

>>8268047

(you) are a piece of shit

>>8268047
:/

>>8268881

:s

My roommate couldn't smell. But he refused to accept he couldn't smell and just assumed I was overreacting to things.

> come home from work
> immediately gag from smell like a bucket of cat piss
> containers of steamed broccoli and asparagus line the countertop
> all windows closed
> no fan on
> "It smells bad? Huh, really?"

It took three days to air the place out and the whole time he made fun of me because he couldn't smell it and he thought I was being sensitive. Then he just kept doing it.

Every time I would return from some trip, I'd walk in and the place would reek of rotting garbage. The only way he knew it was starting to get bad was from seeing the gnats start to buzz around.

>>8268047
someone ban this faggot

>>8268881
>>8268885

Fuck off, you deplorable faggots.

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>>8268896

>>8268047
Nigger

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>>8268047

>>8268888
>needs three days to air the place out of some harmless asparagus smell
I wonder what happened if ever you had to work with lifestock or used diapers

>>8268281
I'll bite. What?

>>8268289
Sunday gravy?

>>8268921
It's Italian for tomato sauce

My roommate has a skin condition and fucking itches his entire body all over the whole apartment. He has prescription lotion, I can only assume he's just eating it.

>>8268947
One time my friend got scabies from some slutty HOOWAH on POF, and he didn't know he had it, but he was hanging around for weeks constantly scratching his hands were covered in sores and he scratched till he bled it was gross

Then, I noticed I was starting to get itchy too...noticed this thing, within only a few days I noticed there was a pussy scab sore right on the tip of my dick and so I went to the DR and they told me it was scabies, gave me medicine, I got rid of it

My friend just dealt with this for weeks on end! In the end I had to tell him he had scabies and to go get rid of it

>>8268047

hee hee

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>>8268047
Not risking it

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>>8268047
this >>8268992

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>>8268047

>>8268047

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>>8268047
why must you do such a thing

I only got one

>Move to NE from TX after HS
>Live with 2 other guys
>3rd story floor that we live on is generally kept clean
>Rotate chores, joint shopping, respect each others space
>6 months in, college life kicks in
>So we drank for a semester

Things just got gross and really inhumane. When the lease was ending we just threw out the dishes that had been sitting in the sink for a couple of months; I suggested it and personally didn't want to scrub the mold off the plates. How we got the deposit back is beyond my comprehension. Such is the way of things with young men on their own for the first time in their lives. These days I'm happy to pay for a vacant spare bedroom just so I don't have to deal with someone else and their squalor.

>>8269450
>>8268047
ty

>>8268047
Safe

Roommate horror stories from a NEET
>army vet moves in
>loves to drink and bring home strange women
>cooks like a madman too
>come home one day to the kitchen trashed
>he got drunk while cooking something and burnt a whole pot of rice so badly I had to throw out the pot
>starts stealing booze and food from the rest of us
>when he moves out we find his stash of wrappers, soda cans, egg shells and other stolen shit

>new roommate moves in
>weeb from Kcon, pretty chill and clean
>shaves in the sink without cleaning up after himself
>cooks frozen pizza on the cookie sheet and never cleans it
>keeps leftovers in the fridge uncovered for days
>cooks everything on a griddle and refuses to use pans

>>8268047
Ass

>>8268047
Fucking hell I knew it would end in that why did I read

>roomie and I are slobs
>have a room only for empty bottles
>hash bits stuck to the floor in most rooms
>ground coffee everywhere in the kitchen
>oven is seasoned
>he never puts anything back in place, doesn't close the bags of cereal/bread
>doesn't put stuff in the trash either

>>8268047
Fag

>living with my sister through college
>she's a new-age hippy, vegan and doesn't wear a bra
>refuses to keep her cat in her room when it starts pissing everywhere and biting at my feet and attacking my cat
>acts all hurt if i don't tell her every single vegan dish she makes is good
>(often they are but sometimes they're just fucking disgusting and when i don't eat it all she won't talk to me for a day or two)
>won't clean anything
>mountains of unwashed dishes in the sink, she lets shit dry on them and then puts them in the dishwasher so they come out disgusting
>rotting shit in the fridge that she won't throw out, "i neeeeeeeeed it kace"
>our bathroom has a toilet with shit and menstrual blood caked to it, trash can stuffed with used toilet paper, no liner

>>8269630
God almighty, now you trully know what hell for an eternity will be like.

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>>8268047
Gee thanks Heinrich. Take your rancid-ass candle and GTFO.

>>8269630
Is she single?

>>8268311
Chris, anon, I related too well. You Asian?

>>8269653
Yeah. Can't wait till the time is ripe for me to move out.

>>8269672
Nope, she has a bf. Tried to break up with him a couple of days ago but they got back together. He's just as disgusting.

When he puts away stuff from the dishwasher he just puts them anywhere in the cabinet and makes our kitchen a disorganized disaster. He's high all the time. Pisses me off.

>>8268047
No

>>8268832
The psycotic roomate who shit everywhere and kidnaped his ex-girlfriend, or something like that.

>college
>shared kitchen, flatmate kept stealing my food
>buy bananas, go down to get one next morning, every last banana is gone
>write a note calling her a cunt
>she gets triggered and calls the campus waaaaaaaahmbulance
>I have to sit in peer remediation as she cries like a retarded bonobo experiencing a literal holocaust
>peer mediator gives even fewer fucks than I do
>her mom saw the note
>her mom knows she's a banana-stealing cunt

Oh, she was 250 lbs, "zumba" instructor, loved disney princesses, had like 3 beta orbitters, stereotypical triggered tumblrina before I knew what that was. What a loser. Like how hard is it to just NOT steal other people's stuff?

>>8268311

Fuck are you me? My dad was like that. I'd say okay I will do dishes before I go to bed, I go down at 7 and he's there fuming scrubbing the fucking dishes. And then gets pissy with me, or goes on a screaming tirade. Like nigger how you gonna prevent me from doing the dishes then get mad I didn't do them? Moron. Glad I moved out. He also made me sign a fucking contract on what chores I would do, like for fucking real? And same deal, he'd do 'em before I had a chance and then get pissy about it. Like then go sit your ass down and wait for me to do 'em. Logic where? I hate people who get angry over their own bullshit.

>>8268047
But y

>>8268047
>if you don't respond your mother dies

What?

>>8268443
Because some of us invite people over and 1 plate just doesn't do the trick.

>>8270028

Just tell them to bring their plate to use.

>materialist hoarders are this retarded

>>8270032
Considering they're bringing their own food, that sounds like a fair deal.

>>8267480
This is why I almost always use paper plates and plastic cups/spoons/forks.

I have a collection of nice cookware, utensils and gadgets.
But it's hard to clog the sink with them.

It's worth $10-20 a month not to have to do piles of dishes.

Everyone responding to that post is a giant fucking child baby larping as a real human.

Go die.

>>8268047
You're a cunt

>>8268047
lel

>>8268075
http://www.wyseguys.com/blag/shitty-roommate/meet-jed/

>>8270184

It's not about the money. It's about not being a trashy, wasteful bitch.

>>8268796
>this faggot doesn't wash his dishes as he eats
Literally cancer.

>>8268047
noooooooooo

>>8268047
Lél

>>8269630
kace is your name? holy jesus

>>8268047
He jokes on you I don't believe in any of this superstitious nonsense and I also just replied by telling you this so I'm guaranteed safe no matter the true ways of the world.

>>8268047
fuck you

>bipolar roommate in college for several years
>messy as fuck. Half eaten Waffles and Syrup on his bedsheets because he ate them without a plate.
>wakes me up at 3am to drive him to whataburger semifrequently. Literally sits in my room asking me over and over until I take him
>girlfriend breaks up with him. He becomes hella depressed. Makes manipulative "jokes" about killing himself for literally months. Drains all of us of our sanity over time. Pretty sure two of my roommates became depressed by proxy.
>my grandfather dies. I tell him and he texts me "at least his girlfriend didn't break up with him"
>I was in an awful relationship for ages but was too emotionally taxed messed from my grandfather's terminal brain cancer to break up with my girlfriend. After he passes I go full 'I'm wasting my life' and break up with her. About two weeks later I'm sleeping with this gorgeous girl who is into loads of stuff I'm into including music
>He constantly attacks me as 'immoral' for going after her so soon after a lengthy relationship.
>I'm getting the sense that she thinks I'm being too fast with feels so I want to back off a bit until I've gotten past that whole 'just out of a lengthy relationship and my grandfather just died' mentality
>he texts her a picture of him on my bed with a pillow over his dick as a joke. I guess she might have found it funny but then he texts her ''anon and I are coming by your place to pick you up for a drink" despite me telling him not to
>she stops talking to me
>another time I was out with him at a club dancing with this 9/10.
>She suddenly leaves with her friend.
>Turns out her friend said "I like assholes" to him as a way of rejecting him nicely but he went on this neckbeard rant about nice guys etc.
>he tells me about why she left and he goes 'fuck anon, stop thinking about your dick for one second' when I say I had something going there... I did kek when he said that though
>Calls me 'he most selfish roommate by far' one day

>>8268289
kek, noice gravy callback

>>8270498
Even after everything I kind of feel bad we stopped talking even though I know he kind of had a negative impact on my life in college.

I slept with this other girl then a few months later he started dating her. Literally said "I'm in love with her" to me after a week. I decided he didn't need to know I fucked her but one day he found out, turned up to a party I was at, and punched me in the face. I guess I feel bad for not telling him but yeah, we don't talk

>>8270184
You would never have a pile of dishes anyways if you watched them progressively instead of watching the stack grow bigger and bigger.

Wasting 20 bucks a month.

>>8270509
*washed

>>8269538
>oven is seasoned

kek

>>8268311
I know that feel.

>Be kid
>Mom says she's not going to cook unless the kitchen is clean
>Clean kitchen
>Get screamed at for not doing something unrelated to the kitchen
>Not allowed to cook for myself because she'll scream at me for it
>Go to bed hungry
>Wake up at midnight to eat slices of American cheese in the laundry room because it's the only food she won't notice missing

I can't stomach American cheese now.

>>8268047
You fat kike

>>8268047
nikker

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>>8268289
>"you like rim jims?"

>>8268047
Fuck you tee bee atch

>>8268047
pls no

>>8268648
buy a fridge locker thing
put a cardboard cutout of Hillary in there too.

>>8268896
:/

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>>8268047

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>>8268047

cunt

>>8268047
no more butchie

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>>8268047
Just fucking kill yourself already you giant autist.

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>>8268047
Fuck off.

Long story short, I put dried poison ivy leaves in my retard stoner roommate's weed and he was in the hospital for 5 weeks, it took him almost a year to get back to normal, and he almost died.

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>>8268047

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>>8267440
>2014
>save up enough ingridients over a week or so and splurge a bit on some
>make a monster pizza shit ton of ingridients and toppings
>it's fucking perfect
>eat half of it
>stuffed and complete blown away by all the flavors
>put half of it in the fridge
>go to bed and wake up the next morning
>open fridge
>pizza is gone
>asked one of my roomates where the other half of my pizza went and he told me that the other roomate came home late last night and was too lazy to cook anything so he just warmed my creation up and ate it
you cannot even begin to imagine how mad i am

>>8268047
(You)

fucking douche

>>8268047
I love my mommy

>>8268942
it's not italian,what the fuck is up with you non-italians? do you think we live like the sopranos? kys

>>8268047
nig

>>8271150
Did he do something horrible to you to deserve such a punishment? Or are you just a psychotic asshole?

>>8268047
rude

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>>8271178
pic related it's the pizza

>>8268047
ruined an ok post

>>8271261
Why do you got to shit on that guys story by lying and posting a shitty pizza that obviously has nothing to do with what he said?

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>>8269697
White, actually. White american moms are fucking crazy if they're more than 2 generations removed from their home country.

>>8270519
>>8269828
Support group for kids of shitty parents that gave us complexes that resulted in single adults awake at 4am posting on 4chan's fucking food board.

Lived in big city. 5th floor. Wasnt to keen to bring garbage down. Some of those rats found a way into my kitchen and rubbish. Downpoint when I saw it, 1 1/2 foot long. Then got my shit together.

>>8269812
Are you a woman?

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>>8269812
>/ck/ wise she's not horrible, but she makes disgusting food and only knows how to make about 3 things

>>8268047
you mother fucker

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I read that comment in its entirety three times without replying since it's been posted and my mom hasn't died either of the two nights she's slept since then. So you fucks can unclench already.

>>8268047
fuck you anon i hope you burn your food the next time you cook a food

>>8268047
Why nigga? For what purpose?

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Was broke in school so i had to get a roommate to split the bills with. He seemed nice, cleaned up after himself, always payed the rent on time. Than i learned he would only eat hamburgers from McDonalds. I do mean literally nothing but hamburgers. He would steal mail from other people to cut out coupons and go to like 7 McDonalds each day. Would put dozens in the freezer and microwave them later. He passed out from malnutrition and hit his head on the counter and died before the ambulance arrived.

Fun times.

>roommate has shitty white wanna-be gangsta friends
>roomates shitty wanna-be gangsta friend moves in
>after 6mos. find out roommate has been carrying gun when he pulls it out on another roommate
>move out
>find out 2 weeks later roommate shot himself in the dick

>>8267461
Kill yourself

>>8268047
Oh shit havent seen one of this in a while.

>>8268047
You're a fucking asshole.

>>8268047
I hate you but i love my mom more

>>8268047
Fahk you

>>8268047
shit

not a room mate story but ex friend story

>we get those tiny icecream things, obese friend doesnt notice the little popsicle sticks for eating them.
>go back to my car, i tell him please dont eat that without a spoon
>he refuses and starts mouthing the shit out of it complete with these deep sucking noises
>meanwhile he doesnt notice liquid icecream dripping onto himself and in his hair and eventually all over my car seat
>asks me to go inside to get him napkins

>>8268047
your mom dies if your post gets 50 replies faggot

>>8269630
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AxzjTnWQeOU

>>8268047
STOP

>>8270230
Fuck me, that's horrific.

How many of you have fantasized having sex with your mom?

>>8268047
no

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>>8272590

>>8268047
Fuck you

>>8268047
Fuck you

>>8268047
Eat a dick

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>feeling charitable
>order bunch of thai food
>offer to share with roommates
>they eat some and are free to take rest from fridge

>next morning
>roommate apparently ate the soup vegetables
>left all of the broth (delivered in separated containers)

obviously not a crime and don't mind her eating the soup, but mildly exasperating

>>8268047
fuk

>>8268047
fugg

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>>8268047
How did I not see that one coming?

>>8271471
>He passed out from malnutrition and hit his head on the counter and died before the ambulance arrived.
What the fuck

My roommate eats boiled egg with ketchup

>>8268047
What the actual f u c k

>>8268047
Nooooo

>>8268047
i mean I know she probably wouldn't but still

>>8268955
Why are you using all that urban dictionary vocabulary? And why didn't you tell him what you two had right after you went to the doctor?

>>8268281
Cum bottle guy? Is that you?

>>8271150
Why the fuck do you have dried poison ivy leaves.

>>8273249
never mind I read that wrong

>>8272626
I hate when people do this kind of shit.

>>8268047
Good post mang

What type of person replies to "ur moms gonna die" posts?

>>8273272
Underage memelords

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>>8268047

>>8271150
what's it like being a murderous psychopath?

do you torture small animals and azn twinks?

>>8270498
and you didn't beat the shit out of him why? even if he was bigger than you nobody gets away from a crack with a bat, no human should stand for that level of disrespect without fighting back

>>8269480
>When the lease was ending we just threw out the dishes that had been sitting in the sink for a couple of months;
My brother's place in college was so bad he did this as well. Unfortunately the stuff in the sink included to vintage (fromerly perfectly seasoned) cast iron pans that used to belong to my grandmother. Dumbass. Mom didn't let him live that down for years.

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>>8268047

>>8268047
fuck you

>>8269812
fuck you buddy
your roommate overreacted but you did nothing to fix her perception or understand why she had it

>>8268047
hey man. was that story even true!

>>8268047
Go cuck yourself

>>8268047

Jokes on you anon, my mom's already dead.

DO YOU FEEL BAD NOW

>>8268047
why is ck so shitty now

>>8273368
Are you okay anon?

>>8268047
:'(

>>8268047
cunt

>>8273368
You cant fix stupid

>>8268047
frigg off

@8273925
Your post would be better if it was even somewhat entertaining, no you for (You).

>>8268047
>I might actually do it!
>might actually
Whoo bad ass over here

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>>8268047
Damn son

>>8268047
stop

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>>8268047

>>8273925
>>8268047
pls stop

>>8273867
I'm still getting to grips with the idea of four years (or eight, or two) of smug anime girls IRL except with men instead of girls

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>>8268047
y u do this

>>8274194
should have "my feet hurt (because of all the running)"

>>8268047
wow dick

>>8268047
I bet you didnt reply you nigger

>>8269450
Saved for protective properties

>>8268047
oh you piece of shit

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>>8268047

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>>8273925
It's 4 O' clock in the morning why on earth are you making chocolate pudding.(go back to /b/)

>>8271570
i've come to the conclusion that the people who keep saying this on this site is talking to themselves

>>8268047
kill yourself

>>8273925
you ass

>>8268047
you bastard

>>8268047
you fuck

>>8268047
Kill yourself you colossal faggot.

>>8268047(You)

>>8268061 >>8268316 >>8268370 >>8268388 >>8268468 >>8268495 >>8268576 >>8268586 >>8268637 >>8268703 >>8268716 >>8268742 >>8268798 >>8268848 >>8268856 >>8268857 >>8268879 >>8268881 >>8268890 >>8268901 >>8268902 >>8268987 >>8268992 >>8269016 >>8269450 >>8269455 >>8269478 >>8269482 >>8269491 >>8269519 >>8269521 >>8269570 >>8269667 >>8269714 >>8269836 >>8269884 >>8270221 >>8270226 >>8270320 >>8270321 >>8270459 >>8270497 >>8270529 >>8270536 >>8270568 >>8270608 >>8270639 >>8270885 >>8270886 >>8271023 >>8271137 >>8271151 >>8271183 >>8271188 >>8271200 >>8271217 >>8271262 >>8271407 >>8271454 >>8271467 >>8271582 >>8271599 >>8271624 >>8271658 >>8271691 >>8271732 >>8272455 >>8272595 >>8272614 >>8272617 >>8272620 >>8272994 >>8273026 >>8273030 >>8273170 >>8273178 >>8273180 >>8273267 >>8273293 >>8273322 >>8273326 >>8273457 >>8273756 >>8273843 >>8273855 >>8273871 >>8273892 >>8273941 >>8274030 >>8274033 >>8274041 >>8274050 >>8274168 >>8274194 >>8274205 >>8274208 >>8274239 >>8274249 >>8274471 >>8274492 >>8274508 >>8274511 >>8274513

all these faggots should be banned.

>>8273925
epic post anon

>>8274523

Fucking yes! Why do so many dumb fucks reply to that dumb ass post? Are they all retarded tweens? They're worse cancer than any shitty post and make up 90% of this thread.

>>8269812
are you single?

>>8268047
thank u

>>8274550
because they're reddit transplants and think it's cute.

>>8268047
Topkek

I only lived with him for four months or so.
>Move in his tiny roof apartement
>He's a cook apprentice so I thought that I always eat nice and healthy from now on
>Well fuck it
>We constantly order expensive Pizza and drink lots of beer that we both have to carry all the way up.
>One time we make pasta bolognese.
>I have to admit, it was really good
>I move out after I realize this isn't getting any better

2years later
>He has a gf he cooks for every evening
>She is a succubus
>I hate him now. We aren't friends anymore

>>8273925fuck(you)

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>>8268047

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>>8268047

>>8274464
I wish. As one anon put it, these reddit trasplanst need to go back.

>>8268047
fuck you

>>8268443
My Tibetan nigga.
I don't understand where my family gets off expecting me to do their dirty dishes while I do this.
I also have one fork, one spoon, one butter knife, and one mug.

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>>8268047
...

>live with friend
>share pots and pans but cook our own food
>cooks using one of my small nonstick pots
>doesn't know how to simmer
>just boils the fuck out of everything
>falls asleep cooking lentils
>totally burnt when he gets to them
>lets them sit in the dirty pot for a couple of days
>they are now crusted to the bottom
>takes steel wool to remove it and totally destroys the nonstick coating
>does this twice

it was incredibly fucking rude and annoying
ended up taking one of his bigger nonstick pots in return for them though since he knows he fucked up

>>8268047
Why

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>>8268289
>we convinced my friend stick a slim Jim into his anus

>>8268047
>110 replies
What the fuck?

>>8268047
I hate everyone for still replying to this post. Me included!

My roommates are inviting friends over for "Friendsgiving" this week and have decided to fry a turkey. I came home today to find it sitting on the dining room table, thawing. I asked why the fuck it was up there instead of the fridge and they insist it's going to take the next 4 days at room temperature to thaw and the included instructions even say to do so (which don't even include the term "room temperature" anywhere). I don't think they're gonna keep it in there. Too bad I have to work on Thursday and will miss out getting food poisoning with my friends.

>>8267480
>piles of dishes
>dishwasher
how

>>8268047
my mom

>>8268047
OH COME ON I HAVENT POSTED IN YEARS!

>>8274523
With the guy they're replying to too.

>>8274574
I was about to say they're from /b/, but thinking about the comment tree system of reddit that makes conversation impossible, it is totally the kind of shit they do.

>>8274699
you sound like a spoiled cunt

>>8274550
Maybe they aren't old enough to have lived through the chain email shit and find it funny or something.

>>8274787
Pretty much everyone I've lived with through college I've seen using steel wool/a fork to get stuff off the bottom of non stick pans and ruin them

Also pouring cold water into a piping hot pan and warping the bottom

Most people just don't know how to care for stuff. The thought doesn't even cross their mind

>>8268047
>>8268047
od dammit so thats why this post has so many replies

>>8268047
(u)

>>8268047
Fuck u my momma's dead!

>>8268047
YOUUUU FUCKING FAGGOOOOOT!!!

>>8271471
Oddlt fitting gif, in the end.

>>8268047
kys

>>8267480
>>drinking buddy was always sleeping on couch anyways,
wonder why she left you.

>>8268047
Well shit

>>8271150
Sup, /b/

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>>8274523
>>8274550
>not being weirdly paranoid about mummys safety

>>8268047

>>8275901
kys

>>8268047
Funny

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>>8268047

>>8268047
fuck (you)

>>8273925
Pls

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>>8270519
>Wake up at midnight to eat slices of American cheese in the laundry room because it's the only food she won't notice missing

>>8268047
le sigh

>>8268047
I love you mom even though immunity cat protects me

>>8268047
you bitch

>>8270503
should've smashed him in the face then and there and ended him

>>8268289
>rim jims
Classic

>>8268047
Fuck

>>8268047
v

>>8268047

You're a dumb af clean freak and you suck dick.


If you read this, ur momma dies tonight if you don't reply.

>>8268047
Fuck you stay on /b/

@8268047
ok

>>8273368
If I wanted to fix retards, I'd work special ed, not electrical engineering.

Nobody is stopping you from going to a shrink and fixing your own damn self.

>>8274523
I got banned for it once so the mods do it when they give a shit

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>>8268047
this is you.

>>8276226

You've either a: never had roommates, b: you're the guy that doesn't do hos dishes. Dirty dishes are disgusting in a communal home

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>>8268047
well played

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>>8268047
ffffffffffffffffff

>>8274699
>waaaah my roommate cooks for 8 hours a day and won't cook for ME when he gets home
enjoy eating canned beans you fucking loser

>>8268047
You'd better deliver on putting dishes in her bed faggot.

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>>8270498
>Half eaten Waffles and Syrup on his bedsheets because he ate them without a plate.
>my grandfather dies. I tell him and he texts me "at least his girlfriend didn't break up with him"

Kill

>>8268047
Fuck youuuuu

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>>8270498
>didn't kill him, move out, etc

Why the fuck did you put up with all of that?

>>8268047
no!

>>8269538

>oven is seasoned

My sides.

>>8274778
>bragging about having less kitchen utensils than a homeless strung out heroin addict who has sucked more dick than the average /fit/izen, seen more irl gore than the average /b/tard and has more imaginary friends than all of /a/ /c/ /d/ and /mlp/ combined

>>8268047
fucking cunt

>>8276697
"Fewer" kitchen utensils. If it's something you can count, it's "fewer" instead of "less". For instance, I have "less" money, but "fewer" coins. You can count one, two, three coins, but you can't count one, two, three moneys.

>>8276706
That makes even fewer units of sense than trying to smell the color six

>>8271191
>>8268942
>>8268921

its what east coast garbage """""italians""""" call pasta sauce.

>>8268047
Dude

>>8268047
nigger

>>8268047
reeee

>>8268896
:@

damn nigga

I had a college roomate who thought it would be nice to make me dinner one of the first few days we lived together.
>asparagus and peanut butter pita sandwich
>had to finish it without flinching.
>1/10 never again

>>8268047
DELET

>>8268047
Fuuuuuuggg

>>8268047
you piece of shit

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>>8268047

>>8270230
I heard a police woman's experience of this incident on a horror/Halloween edition of the podcast Risk. It was amazing seeing two sides to this story. I really recommend looking it up.

>>8268047
hi mom

>>8270028
Hey you stupid asshole, I have my one plate, everyone that comes over uses the other shit plates with the morons you dumb fuck. I clean my plate, room mates clean theirs and anyone else's who comes over. Fucking idiot.

>>8277298
Can you link to it? I can't seem to find it on their site.

>>8276697
Wow, looks like we have a real salty imbecile on our hands here boys. Hey, why don't you just get fucked in a back alley by a nigger to show everyone how tough you are faggot. Yeah, I bet all that silverware you have cost a pretty penny while your fat ugly repulsive ass just let's all the shit sit around gathering rot and maggots you fucking slob. You know what, you are such a grotesque being why don't you just fucking kill yourself you stupid piece of shit? You obviously can't fucking understand utility and efficiency in a group scenario where everyone else has fuck all to do with your goddamn resources aside from taking advantage of them you fucking thieving worthless nigger. Kill yourself, spic.

>>8268047
((you))

>>8276723
Looks like we've got another real stupid piece of subhuman suicide candidacy right here folks. Suck a dick beaner. Nigger. Fuck you. Fuckin towel head.

>>8268047
fug

>>8277377
That's-a some-a good-a mad! Molto bene!

Also, checked

>>8277377
Where did he touch you, anon?

>>8277386
Mama mia! My cup, she runneth over!

No dubs this time, apply yourself

>>8268047
tu

>>8271261
fuck anon that looks good

>>8268047
you're not my friend anymore anon

>>8268047

pls no

>>8268047
RIP

>>8268047
wew

>>8268047
Fuck sakes

>>8275132
blame it on the parents

I just want trips.

>>8277374
Pretty sure it's in this one. http://risk-show.com/podcast/scary-stories-4-yikes/

I think it's Anybody Home?

>>8271471
His dickhead parents probably used McDonald's as way to motivate him, and once he was already successful and in college he just got addicted to substance that he got when he succeeded. Fuckin hell we need to ban fast food for kids or something this is gonna ruin us desu

>share milk in the house
>people take turns buying
>people often buy more than one carton at once to reduce the frequency of us having to buy milk
>milk in use goes in the door, replaced by one from the bottom of the fridge when it runs out
>one girl keeps opening milks on the bottom because they're slightly farther from expiry dates
>she has also refilled some of a door carton with some of a bottom carton from time to time
>puts now unsealed cartons back at the bottom of the fridge
>they sometimes leak when on their sides in the fridge
>we also have 2 or 3 open cartons on the go

It's probably petty and small to get annoyed about it, but it just makes no sense.
She has to be the most irrational thinker I've ever come across and will get super defensive if you try and explain why she's being a moron

>>8268047
lel

>>8274919
oh you'd be surprised

>>8277127
u got trold real gud

>>8268047
Fuck.

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Post yfw /ck/ is such a normie facebook-tier board that a MOM DIES IF NO REPLIES post capped out a thread

>>8268047
fuck

>>8268047
Here you go I guess

>>8268047
hello r/4chan include me pls