Life of a Navy Cook

>>8206520
I hope you are not that prick that thought curried lasagne was a good idea.

>>8206520
Oh, hey, you again. Last thread was disappointing.

How is the food made? UGR style bags of food that are heated and served or actually mixing ingredients?

>>8206520
>Over this period of time I've seen the nastiest, dumbest, and most disgusting motherfuckers on Earth work here

What did you expect?

The Navy is essentially:
Too stupid for the Air Force?
Too cowardly to fight in the Army or Marines?
Too cowardly to even support the fighters in a non-combat job?
Then join the Navy.

Of all the "welfare in uniform" troops in the military, the Navy is THE number one destination for losers with no skills, no motivation, and no desire to do anything, other than doing as little as possible while still collecting a pay-check.

That being said, the D-facs aboard the few ships I've been on weren't that bad....

>We had this deck seaman strike CS last year
>Nickname was Snickerfucker because it sounded close to his actual name
>Our Boatswains Mate Chief (BMC) made it catch on
>Snickerfucker liked all sorts of things neckbeards do
>Anime
>Legos
>Obsessed with Let's Plays and Abridged series', quoting both loudly and constantly in the galley
>Not showering
>He had this pungent stench that could kill a man if they got too close
>"Genetic disorder" said Snickerfucker
>We outright see this man turn the shower on and stand outside of it for 10 minutes, pour shampoo down the drain for the smell of Old Spice to spread, and walk back out without getting so much as a drop on him
>His stench made all of the male berthing unbearable
>Even when our Captain walked upstairs he had to gag a little
>This piled up with his hording obession made him notorious to everyone on the ship
>They couldn't stop him from becoming a cook
>Handled everyone's food with bare hands and refused to wash them. So much so he's even argue with our Senior Chief over it
>Dropped shit all the time and tried putting it back on the line
>We caught him putting a piece of raw chicken with a footprint in the oven
>He got banned from handling food
>We put him on permanent scrubbing duty
>He brings a bag with a stench into work one day, leaving it by the back fridge
>Our CS2, Southcat, is sick of it and rips it open
>He discovers 14 pairs of cum soaked socks inside
>24 whole socks with Snickerfucker's baby gravy spread all over the deck
>Needless to say he gets processed out
>He flips all us off as he's being escorted from the ship
>A visiting commander sees this
>Snickerfucker gets detained by security and dragged off in a base police car
>Never hear from him again

>>8206551
You mix ingredients usually.

>>8206575
That all sounds pretty bad because most of the air force guys I've met were some really seriously dumb hot headed tards.

Maybe I'm just a coward and wouldn't understand.

t. well paid civilian

>>8206576
Absolute scum. He sounds like the reason many people hate anime.

>>8206576
they didn't beat that out of him during basic?

>>8206640
You're not allowed to beat anything out of anyone anymore. The military has become extremely PC.

>>8206655
sucks

if you're OP more greentext if you got em please

>>8206520

Sub'd

Is working in a Navy kitchen a pain in the ass? I would assume it's like trying to cook in a sardine can space wise

>>8206659
Not OP, sorry.

>>8206576
This feels familiar. Is it a repost?

>>8206756
He posted it in his last thread, yeah

>>8206790
Looks like he abandoned the thread again, too. What the fug.

>interesting thread premise for once
>OP vanishes

Migrating to plebbit seems more and more tempting.

>>8206575
Meh, I got a 96 on my asvab and operate nuclear reactors, I should get paid more desu. thats why I'm getting out

>>8206971
Why are there so many nukes on 4chin

>>8206975
Because we like to blow our tops.

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>>8206592
>Air Force
>hotheads

Not everyone can be special, like you.

>>8206971
>96 on my asvab

Low standards having motherfuckers....

You had to have at least a 110 to get into a decent Army SOF unit just to be able to shoot motherfuckers in the head with a rifle...

Back. Fell asleep.

You guys want to hear the story about Coldsteel, G-Tard, or Iron Fist?

>>8207016
JUST GET POSTING GODDAMMIT

>>8206971
The sub-corps is volunteer, though, right?

Any unit you have to actually volunteer to be in tends to have better people than the conventional non-volunteer units. Just the fact that you actually have to raise your hand and say "I'll do it..." gets rid of a lot of the riff-raff...not all of it, but a lot of it.

>>8207020
Yeah I like the people I work with, just not the bullshit that goes with nuclear power.

>>8207013
99 is the highest.

>>8206576
That is not cool people rip into man for staying home all day in his parent's basement. Finally had the nerve to get a job and you guys give him shit. Then you guys wonder why people like him stay out of society.

>Edgy 19-year old kid joined 5 months ago
>Went through CS School which is a week of basic shit like how to chop and proper cooking temps etc.
>He introduces himself to the division as "someone you should fear"
>Oh for fuck's sake, another one
>He looks like Robbie Rotten if he was a neo nazi
>Constantly blaring death metal from his headphones
>Talks about how the band Metalica is the greatest thing since sliced bread
>We just started calling him "Faggot, Duke of Edge"
>Even Senior Chief just calls him Duke now
>We put this kid on preps for the salad bar and main dishes with chops
>Always manages to fuck up in some odd way
>We find seeds in banana slices
>He'll cut up the rine of a watermelon and throw it in the fruit salad
>etc
>He's not as hopeless as Snickerfucker, but he's a thorn in our asses for being awful at everything
>Fuck it
>We put him on the breakfast grill
>Just cook eggs to order Duke
>Duke blasts his grunge Summer Lovin' mix
>About 4 oz of mixed eggs is equivilent to a serving for each person
>Duke pours a fucking quart on the grill for a buddy of his
>We barely had enough for anybody that woke up that day
>I ride his ass for trying to give his friend such a large amount
>He calls me a "Juicy Fruit fag" and tells me I'm "gushing with flavors of gay"
>Have him come in at 3am every day for training on how to cook eggs properly until he gets every portion and order perfect

Myself and the other crows laugh about the Juicy Fruit comment still.

>>8207033
>

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>>8207055
>He calls me a "Juicy Fruit fag" and tells me I'm "gushing with flavors of gay"
Damn

I've mentioned him twice I think, but our Senior Chief is a pretty cool guy.

>Catches resident cook scrambling eggs
>Cook is spreading them out thin so it cooks quicker
>In a hurry because a first class that's always riding his ass demanded scrambled with green peppers quickly so he can go on watch right away
>It'd be fine normally, but the first class is talking mad shit
>Cook's getting it done despite the pressure, butlooks like a fucked up omlet that got changed to an order of scrambled
>Senior snatches the spatula from the cook in one swift motion
>Bangs it on the grill and flips the damn thing in the air
>Catches it without looking
>Orders the cook to bring him a chef's knife and a green pepper
>Makes a new batch of scrambled after throwing the cook's eggs into the grease trap
>Senior sets the green pepper flat on the grill and rolls in on the knife, cutting all of the edible parts off in a swift motion
>Dices at the speed of light and even adds spices and a garnish
>This plate of eggs looks beautiful
>Senior Chief takes the plate out to the forst class personally
>First class is stunned by it's beauty
>Senior smiles and says the whipping boy cook made it
>First class goes in to have a bite
>Senior knocks the plate off of the table and it smashes a bench across the messdecks
>"And if I hear you ever, EVER fucking with one of my boys again, I will shove the next order of scrambled so far up your ass you'll be coughing the chicken up!"
>Ordered the first class to clean it up and to go on watch

>>8207096
Fuck, that's fucking based. What a champion.

>>8206576
>>He discovers 14 pairs of cum soaked socks inside
>>24 whole socks with Snickerfucker's baby gravy spread all over the deck

Now, I'll be the first to admit that I'm retarded when it comes to math, but I'm pretty sure 2*14 doesn't equal 24.

>>8207099
28

Been a long day

>>8207055
that juicy fruit fag comment is a pretty sick burn

>>8206576
Armyfag here and sadly we had shitbags like him. Good thing about my mos though was that people like him got a boot to the neck.

>>8207055
Not gonna lie anon but you got rekt. Guys still a shitbag though.

>>8207055
Any reason as to why he would call you gay?

>>8207122
Not OP, but often men who are repressed will act super edgy and constantly call others fags. The guy he described sounds textbook.

>>8207055
You definitely qualify for nomination to the pussboy, fagfuck awards ceremony. Good luck, my money's on you.

>>8207223
t. Duke

>>8207223
What's up, Duke?

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>ineligible for service
i just wanted to be a galley cook like my father

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>>8206520
Navy tries to send me as undesignated cause my asshole of an instructor, IC1 Murphy, kicked me out of CTR A school.

Kept not showing up for duty until they kicked me from the Navy. Worst year of my life. That was 6 years ago. Now I'm a computer engineer. Hah

>>8206978
underrated

>>8207055
Not gonna lie, I would probably like that kid if he were in my kitchen. Then I would kick his dumb ass back to dish for 6 months or a year and have him prep shit on occasion if he had potential. I would probably give you egg cooking duty ad infinitum because you're that damn good at it, buddy.

tl;dr time= Metallica (not "Metalica") isn't "death metal." They were a cornerstone of thrash metal music in the 80s, then the 90s and grunge happened; they cut their hair, and then they released St. Anger in 2003... which was possibly the greatest collection of shit, ever. They've released half decent music lately, although Kirk never really figured out guitar solos after he stole all of Dave Mustaine's. He kinda just hits the wah pedal and does whatever.

Either way, Metallica is one of the best-selling and most commercially successful bands of all time and they are a bunch of 40something richfags at this point. I'm really surprised you haven't heard of them. They are a bunch of shitheads; at least Lars is a fucknut, but they did make some good music back when they were like 18 years old. Damn if they didn't ride that dick to stardom.

You probably think Taylor Swift sings R&B music.

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>>8207807
*angry drumming noises*

>>8207807
50something*

Time flies.

>>8207848
>your pic is related
St. Anger

>>8207863
still can't fathom what they were thinking with that shit. at least it sold well, I guess.

>>8207096
movie tier 10/10

>>8207055
>looks like robbie rotten but a neo nazi
sides lost

>>8207122
Something to do with the navy I assume

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do you ever hide strippers in big cakes?

>>8207096
And the senior chefs name?

Albert Einstein

>>8207096

Reminds me of a favorite scene.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5betKv46GB4

>>8209609
Was his son gay?

Lol, these stories are great

>>8207013
You're thinking of the combined line scores like GT, not the ASVAB score.

Parris Island food was great.

breddy gud thead desu senpai

i want more stories

>>8206520

Back in the dark ages, a long time ago, I served aboard the USS America CV-66
Got to go TAD for 6 months to the officers mess
Back in the old days, most of the permanent Mess Specialists were either black or filipino, all the chiefs were filipino
With just over 5,000 sailors (all male back then, never had a female sailor aboard ever), we had 2 forward speed lines, 5 mid and rear main lines, the officers mess (wardroom), the chief's mess, up on the 0-3 level we had a private wardroom for the captain and another for the admiral, also had a speed meal area for the pilots
With 4 meals a day the main line was only shut down for about 4 hours a day for cleaning
Had to berth behind the aft main galley, because of so many different duty times in 6 months I never saw the main overhead lights on, sleeping there sucked, had a major roach problem
I was mainly a wardroom server, the pilots were the best officers to deal with, all the supply guys were assholes
Still remember the fights when we had jumbo shrimp nights or lobster, fuckers would lose their minds, chocolate milk in a bag, inside a waxed cardboard box, that tasted like jet fuel, pepper steak, hungarian goulash, and the every other day fried fucking rice, still get nostalgic for a plain sheet cake, cut into squares, with canned st and whipped cream, best breakfast we made was a double dipped french toast with an apple pie filling sauce
I was glad when I got rotated back to the flight deck

>>8209707
Eh, I guess they're okay. Better than nothing. Barely.

We want more

>>8206978
Former nuke here. Confirmed.

>>8211990
Thank you for your service, Sir.

>>8207132
This

>>8207807

>Cornerstone of thrash metal

You mean they based their whole career off ripping off Motörhead?

>>8207023
>> 99 is the highest
What? I know I scored higher than that on my asvab. In fact a jarhead who got in the 90s was really proud of his score till he heard mine.

>>8214439
You have the recall ability of a gnat.

>>8206640
>Bart, you can push them out of a plane, you can march them off a cliff, you can send them off to die on some God-forsaken rock, but for some reason, you can't slap them. Now apologize to that boy immediately.

>>8214543
>Bart

His name was George. General George S. Patton.

>>8214543
We're talking about the seamen beating the shit out of him, not commanding officers. It's called a blanket party.

>>8209731
This^

>>8214439
Once again you are thinking of a line score not the asvab score.
>Our nations brightest

>>8207122

>being in the navy
>being a colossal faggot

Pick both

>>8207871
You forgot re-load but St Anger is shit too.

Is OP coming back or is he busy gushing his flavors of gay elsewhere?

>>8214324
Hey, everything comes from somewhere. Black Sabbath was a blues group for fuck's sake.

>>8216457
I kinda like/tolerate Reload, actually. It wasn't until recently that I listened to it, and I guess I'm open minded enough to enjoy it. Load and St. Anger still sound like shit in a tin can to me. Kill Em All is my favorite so take that as you will.

>>8216878
*PUNG PUNG PUNG* *PUNG PUNG PUNG*

>>8206735
>I would assume it's like trying to cook in a sardine can space wise
Depends on the boat, really. A carrier is just like a straight up regular kitchen, while on a sub fucking everything is cramped, including the kitchen.

>>8214439
Running from memory:
ASVAB scores are usually broken into two different scores:

You have your raw score, which the highest is 99 and is basically your general score of sorts.

Then you have your line scores, which are the individual scores calculated from how you did in each section.

>>8207023
What rating were you assigned to while going through the pipeline? I ended up being one of the unfortunate wizards of the wizards.