are martinis fedora-tier?

>>8198837
Yes you will look like a fedora. Real martinis are made with Gin. Also, stirring produces a better martini anyway.

>>8198851
but I like vodka

>>8198837
Bond's drinking habits are based pretty much on whatever Fleming was guzzling the day he was writing it.

cool people who drink martinis look cool

faggots who drink martinis look like faggots

>>8198837
>>8198867
A vodka martini is going to be a poor martini. The vermouth won't go particularly well with it, and you won't taste it a whole lot against the harsh background of anything but the smoothest vodka... so really, you're just as well off ordering a doubleshot of vodka.

But some people do like vodka in a martini and feel like the bit of vermouth is important, or order it dirty and like it with the olive brine. Fine, I make them and don't judge.

If you ask for the "shaken, not stirred", you're just going to look like a pretentious prick. I will absolutely judge you for it, and everyone at the bar is going to judge you for it, and everyone over the age of 25 who hears you is going to judge you for it.

If you like vodka, order a decent cocktail with vodka in it, and stop trying to look like Bond (hint: you don't look like Bond).

>>8198837
Vodka martini is not a martini. A martini is made with gin.

You'll only look like a fedora if you act like one. Just drink what you want to drink and don't be a self-conscious faggot

It's a classic cocktail. They're fucking great and there are lots of nice variations, all of which will get you lit. Don't fag it up with any "shaken, not stirred" bullshit.

Sweet martini on the rocks is the best martini

>>8198837
In addition to the fact that a martini is made with gin and NOT VODKA, because vodka is for plebs, isn't a martini always stirred because shaking it waters it down too much? Which completely defeats the purpose of a whole drink?
I am not a fan of vodka, gin, or martinis, so I am only recollecting what I know about martinis from years back.

>>8198922
You want to water down a martini a significant amount. The best way to do this is gently swirling it for a few minutes.

>don't ask for it shaken or youre a fag

the whole point of this is I want to try the "Bond" drink prepared like Bond likes them

otherwise I might as well stick to my bourbon and beer

thought I might try this and see if I like it but if this is the reaction I'm gonna get...

>>8198968
Don't do it. Bond is ordering a weak drink and being a prick about it.

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>>8198837
Martinis are soccer mom tier here.

DESU I only have then before lent on fat Tuesday

>>8198837
Martinis are drinks for people who would be taking shots but want to appear classy. If you want to try a vodka martini, just take a double shot of vodka because that's more or less what you'll get. A dirty martini made with vodka is a bit different.

I drink bourbon on rocks so take my opinion for what it's worth (nothing).

>>8198837
try an appletini, less stigma i think

>>8198987
To be fair back when the books were written, spirits were at about 45% on average.

>>8198837

maybe

you will definitely get weird looks if you autistically point out how a vodka martini isnt a "real martini"

however, whatever kind of martini you get, stirring is the preferred method and is considered a better end result. you will probably raise an eyebrow if you order one shaken.

>>8198895
>stop trying to look like Bond (hint: you don't look like Bond)
basically just this

>>8199040
This. Just order a Cosmo and be done with it

>>8198837
Where I work, we make them shaken by default.

Just don't use the fucking cringey line and ask for it shaken.

>>8198837
yes, for the shaken not stirred part.
in the western world martini is a fine drink to order, in the rest of the world its a drink for women - made the mistake to order one in china, got a huge fancyass twisted crystalglass with sugared edges etc

>>8199209
Those aren't martinis.

A Martini basically exists in order to allow you to drink a big glass of gin in a socially acceptable manner. If you're fucking around with it like that, then it's no longer a Martini.

>>8198968
Bond one ordered, "bourbon, no ice".

>>8199439
Why not jusk ask for "straight" instead? What the fuck? You'd think all the time the alkie spends in bars he'd get the basic terminology down at least.

>>8198895
>A vodka martini is going to be a poor martini.
that's just your opinion man you know, don't make it look like it's an objective truth

>>8198968
>the whole point of this is I want to try the "Bond" drink prepared like Bond likes them
either order a vesper, which is what bond actually drinks instead of martinis, or a scotch and soda, because that's what bond drinks most in the books

>>8198837
Too avoid looking like discount bond, jus go too a decent cocktail bar and order a Vespa Martini. Any bartender worth his salt already knows you want a James bond especial shaken not stirred so you don't have too say. I did a weird variation on a gintini last night rolling vermouth and absinthe discarding. Was p good pham.

But yeah jus order a fuckin cosmo hahaha, especially on the weekend.

>>8199467
I tried a Vesper a few months back and it was bloody awful.
Not worth it.

>>8198968
Mimicking the behavior, dress code or speech after fictional characters is generally a horrible idea for any adult.

>>8199448
> Why not jusk ask for "straight" instead?

Because that's offensive to sexual minorities.

You people really need to watch your micro-aggressions

you should just do it at home. buy a shaker and

>>8199619
This. Shaker, vodka, ice. WA LA

gin, stirred, extra dirty

>>8198837
For once in your life do it but dress for it. Rent a tuxedo get your hair done and do it right. This will ensure a few laughs.

>>8199607
kek

>>8198837
>are martinis fedora-tier?
No, they're great drinks. The question is, are you fedora-tier? Because if you are, then the martini is just the cherry on top of your faggotry sundae

Itt: fun haters. OP just order it, see if you like it. At most you might get a smirk but you'll probably amuse the bartender more than anything. Just don't be self conscious like the losers in this thread.

>>8199638
>neckbeard wearing a poorly-fitted tuxedo and a fedora stumbles up to bar, breathing heavily
>sweat pouring down his face from the hour he spent standing in a corner of the bar hyping himself up
>brylcreem-matted hair sticking out at odd angles
>"v-vodka martini, shaken not stir..." as his voice trails off
>"pardon me, sir?" the bartender asks
>"y-you too" the lad responds as he turns and runs out of the bar, spaghetti trailing from his pockets
>doesn't even get his deposit back on the tux because of the marinara stains

I've done this, and yes, the barman and every other person in the place will look at you as if you're a right fucking cunt.

Because you are.

>>8200412
I do love a good pocketfull of spaghetti

>>8200431
kek, did you die of embarrassment ?

Don't order this at a bar.

Make it yourself at home. If you live with your mother, even better.

Use all of the ice in the ice tray and constantly raise your eyebrows when your family looks at you.

Put on some Sinatra for ambience.

No, not that sinatra. Put on that episode of family guy with Frank Sinatra jr in it.

Nice.

Then, realize you don't have a martini glass, and make the hard decision to use either a wine glass, or a plastic jack-in-the-box cup.

If you've learnt anything from this site you'll use the jack-in-the-box cup.

Last but not least, grab a few pimento stuffed green olives from the jar and dump them in the cup. A toothpick is not necessary nor helpful for a cup thus deep.

>>8198837
martinis are frugal/best deal tier

I figured it out in college. A martini is never going to cost you more than 12 dollars, on average I see it at 10 dollars at most places in boston. with that said, a martini has about 2.5 shots of gin in it, making it a better deal at 10 dollars than a whiskey coke at 6 dollars. knowing this, I typically start any restaurant dinner off with a gin martini, straight up with olives. gets me drunk before any food hits the belly, then it's a beer to actually accompany my dinner

>>8199606
Almost got my CIA ensemble together.

>>8199601
Vespers are great, m8. My pre-dinner drink on the weekends.

Just gotta make it right.

3 parts Gordon's
1 part vodka
Half part dry vermouth (because Lilet is for rich ass holes with more money than me)

Stir over ice until ice cold.

Serve in chilled martini glass with a thin twist of lemon (basically a lemon rind curly fry)

I live in LE BEER CITY USA XD
but holy shit
There isn't a single good bartender in this city.
I asked for a Vesper. They didn't know what it was. Asked for an Tom Collins. Didn't know. Asked for a Gin Rickey. Same.
Ended up just saying give me half gin and half lime juice with a little sugar because I known if I had asked for a Gin let I'd have gotten another ¯\_(ツ)_/¯ from the fuckin waitress.

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>>8198837
> my spirit of choice is vodka
> my spirit of choice is gin
> my spirit of choice is rum
> I'll have the brandy, neat

>>8201892
This is why I go for long islands

>>8200412
Kek

>hey what can I getcha
>s-s-stirred not shaken

people will look at you, maybe

>hey what can I getcha
>I'd like to try a james bond martini. vodca, stirred, y'know?

nobody is going to give a shit

and neither should you

Do American men actually drink Cosmopolitans and Appletinis or is it a meme?

>>8203082
>are there men that have this drink
probably

>>8203082
It's a meme, m8

>>8203082
Do I prefer them?
No.

But I do make appletinis occasionally. As sissified as it sounds, I think it's nice to enjoy a fruity drink with the missus every now and again.

But I'm talking about at home. I have a little bar where I work on my mixing skills, and that's the perfect time and place. Never order it while out and about.

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>>8203082
So on /ck/ something that is untrue is a meme?

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>>8198837

>Caring what randos at a bar think of your drink choice

This is the mark of a beta.

>>8203128
meme is now just another word meaning "anything I don't like"

>>8203227
This board is weird.

>>8199448
you're actually incorrect about the terminology
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Bartending_terminology#Drink_preparation

>>8203082
numale faggots that "don't care if it's a girly drink" do.
Getting a sugary bullshit drink every once in awhile is fine, but if you order either of those drinks ever in your life you forfeit possession of your testicles.

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>>8203503

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>>8203516
Did I make you feel sad, you "gender role defying" twat?

>>8203526
Nah. don't like lime juice or countreau.
I'm judging you for letting Sex and the City affect your enjoyment of things.
True beta status.

>>8203563
>Sex and the City
Don't understand your reference.
Cosmopolitans are for literal homosexuals and I make that judgement based on the fact it's the name of a magazine for aging trophy wives.

>>8198837

My normal bar order is a triple shot of wild turkey in a glass, what does this come across as?

>>8203503
lol fag

>>8203571
Alcoholism combined with lack of curiosity for new things

>>8198938
im no chugger or fast drinker, but literally why

>>8201822
I just took my drink, downed it in one go, and sperged on out the door like a proper little sperglord. Spaghetti everywhere.

>>8203569
nothing wrong with being homo bro! xD

>>8203569

>don't understand your reference

Not that anon, but why are you arguing about a drink if you're too young to remember the show that popularized the drink in the first place?

>>8203693
Contrary to your male instincts, watering down the gin makes it taste better. It's the same reason you drink a whiskey on the rocks. It's not just to make it cold; hell, you can put your alcohol in the freezer for that.

The melted ice helps to round out the taste. I promise you its better, and necessary.

And for the record, the reason you want to stir it as opposed to shaking it is that shaking it bruises the gin.

>>8203778
How do you bruise a liquid that has no tissue?

>>8203753
Don't understand the reference because I never watched that abomination, and didn't associate with anybody who did.
I'm sorry you had to suffer through knowing anything about it.

>>8198938
>You want to water down a martini

What in the name of fuck am I reading?

>>8203503
>nu males

I drink whatever I feel like.
And I laugh at turds that are so hung up on fake machismo as to point out my 'fruity' drink.

My days of pounding bottles of whiskey to look hard while I get the good vibes flowing are long gone.

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>>8203904
Yup, you're exactly the one.
>hee hee i drink whatever i want and i wear skirts too! hee hee! i'm more of a man than you because i paint my nails and tuck my cock and don't care what other people think about it! hee hee!

>>8203915
is this supposed to be funny? acting like a retard in your post is further proving his point

>>8203915
>fedora.jpg

I get the vodka or gin thing but vermouth is fucking nasty.

>>8203569
You don't understand my reference? How fuckin old are you, 17?
Jesus. Sometimes the general 'maturity' on the boards I frequent makes me forget I'm old.
>>8203571
Alcoholic. I like Wild Turkey but it's got a bit of a stereotype.
>>8203778
Water, yes, but the 'bruising' is ancient memery. There's no actual evidence for it affecting the taste.
>>8203915
>still projecting like a lighthouse
None of your friends enjoy going places with you because you act like Slab Hardcock all the time.

>>8203992
>slab harcock

big mclargehuge

>>8198837
martinis aren't, but le epic bond martini xd is