Hey, i'm trying to cook this egg. can anyone give me tips?

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>>8189284
For me..

Make sure you salt the pot first, very important

>>8189284
turn fire on

>>8189284
microwave it

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>>8189318
now what?

>>8189321
You're done. Stick your chopstick in the egg and eat it.

Pick up the egg and shake it vigorously to scramble it in the shell.

God damn. Girls shouldn't be allowed to post.

Fuck off you retard.

>>8189321

do you have any eggs that are not african american?

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>>8189326
it doesn't taste good. I'm trying again.

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>>8189329
I messed up again, didn't i?

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back to square one. anyone have any ideas?

If you don't punch it with your fist RIGHT now you will have overcooked it. Punch it.

>>8189355
man.... u realise eggs r just chicken periods right? ur fucking trying to cook and eat chicken period dude.... you got it all over ur fuckin hands too....

Put some ketchup in there.
Really brings out the yolk.

>>8189319
do this next op and take a vid if you can

Why does your pan have a grip welded to it right in the middle?

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>>8189355
Add more eggs

Put the egg under the pan and turn on the heat

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>>8189394
ok. what's next?

>>8189355

Turn on a flame, put pan on flame, crack egg, dump yolk and egg whites into pan, cover pan with lid, wait 2 minutes, turn flame under pan off, remove lid, place fried egg on plate, cut into quarter sections and put a different spice on each section, then delete your shitty thread and kill yourself.

>>8189407
Put some fucking ketchup on it.

>>8189321
i fuckin kekd

this thread is pretty dank

>>8189391
So you can lift it if you've got a BUNCH of shit in it. It's pretty common on larger pans.

>>8189407
Put your dick in it after you put ketchup on them

>>8189305
Salting the pot breaks up the egg protein, you stinky fucking nip. Are you memeing or are you just retarded?

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>>8189414
oh ok.

>>8189445
add ramen

>>8189407
add water

>>8189457
don't forget the ice cream!

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>>8189454
which one?

Epic thread!

>>8189461
All of them.

>>8189461
Neither, make your own.

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>>8189461
oops, that was a thumbnail

>>8189469
go get a chicken first

>>8189461
Far left

>>8189469
Really you should just crack an egg into the noodle and broth and poach it for 3 minutes or so

>>8189469
Middle, spicy eggs are good stuff

>>8189469
Look at richie fucking rich over here with his expensive ramen and gas range. Put $100 in those eggs.

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>>8189477
this doesn't help, does it.

>>8189488
Can you do that cos they're the plastic ones?

>>8189284
You gotta make smashmouth eat them

>>8189490
You could do it with American money, if you want.
It's not made out of regular paper, but actually a unique cotton blend. It's not the strongest thing in the world but it does mean you can wash off a dollar bill or put it through the washing machine and not have the ink run.

>>8189488
of course you're australian

>>8189488
>shitposter
>australian

Every time.

>>8189488
>Australia
Like clockwork

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Put a bunch of eggs in the 2 horsepower blender, without shells. Add salt, pepper to taste. Blend until bored. Blend some more. Eat.

Gotta admire OP's dedication.

>>8189699
>dedication
You mean attentionwhoring?

Huevo in pooper or gtfo

Hello, HTB.

You shouldn't throw heavy things at people's heads.

>>8190644

Yeah he was a bit of a cunt during the shoot but now he's alright. Ian was real mad though.

>>8190677
Papa dubbbz making sure the retards don't kill themselves.

>>8190684

Sure ain't gonna be George doing that.

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I'm laughing so hard I got dizzy

>>8189347
faaaaaaaaaaat

>>8189347
>those pudgy little fingers.

Your mum is gonna be pissed you're wasting eggs

>>8189284
Eat something else. Eggs are too difficult to cook.

>>8189502
>putting your money in the wash
jews i swear

>>8189284
try shouting at them

>>8189719
Are forced to be in the thread?

>>8190808
Look at those disgusting nails.

OP, take care of yourself.

>>8189488
this has to be fake. has to be.

>>8190864
You're telling me, goy, that every day, you rub the filthy shekels all over your body WITHOUT washing them? Explains why the plague took off so well.

>>8191605
That's 100% real 'monopoly: down-under edition' money. I legit haven't seen a $100 note in years though.

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>>8189284

https://www.rabb.it/Lonerw0lf

We're watching Evil Dead !

Toasting.

>>8189284

Hey, OP, where's the ketchup?

>>8191621
Super! I'll get some food from the supermarket, cook, make a few posts then I'll join you guys!

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What do i put in here? and how do i prepare it?

>>8189488
Ausfag here
Why do you have a $100 note lying around? I NEVER fucking see those things.

>>8192692
Maybe if your poor lmao

>>8192410
Nutmeg

>>8192410
First you put your thyme in, get a nice aroma going on low heat. Add a pound of butter to that and cook it down before you take your egg and crack into the melted butter. Now grab a beer (any kind will do but small batches from west virginia seem to do the best) pour half of it into the pan along with your egg and reduce this until your egg has become drunk. Follow suit and finish beer before taking that brick of sharp cheddar and taking a bite out of it. Chew this until it becomes creamy in texture and spit that onto the egg. Put oven on broil, place pan in oven. Enjoy more beer. Retrieve pan from oven with bare hands and walk this to the table. Eat from pan

Put eggs in a plastic bowl and place on the freezer until slightly crispy on the outside, no need to freeze entirely
A couple pulses in the blender
Use a mesh sieve or cheese cloth to filter out the shells. no coffee filter, it takes too long and we aren't going for premium grade
Fill in a condom, tie and cook in boiling water or microwave

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bro can u teach me how 2 cook egg?!?

>>8192410
2kg of raw nutmeg. Eat it and enjoy!

>>8189488
Cut your claws you freak

Shut up!