Pineapple

u sure u dont need a hospital or something?

i eat pineapple and have never had that

>>8158872
Well, I peeled it poorly maybe. I didn't cut off a deep enough layer to take out all the little pits with a stalk in them. I didn't de-core it either. Just ate the whole thing as is more or less.

I didn't wash the pineapple either, so maybe this is pesticides on the green out skin contaminating the fruit inside as I handled it.

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>>8158882

>>8158882
Dude, pineapple dissolves protein. Google it.

The core is the worst part, GG

>>8158892
hey man, i've never had a problem with not washing fruit before. I'm reaching for straws here, I don't know what's up with that pineapple

>>8158868
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7RrQc4ZAi_o

>>8158898
Oh. I thought people didn't eat the core because it was chewy.

Well, it certainly feels like my tongue has been attacked by an acid or something.

>>8158868
prepare for the shits

Pineapple has acids and enzymes that dissolve proteins like your tongue. When you eat it, it eats you back.

fresh pineapple digests your mouth as you eat it
eye for an eye, and all that

>>8158868
Your tongue is meat protein. It just got chemically tenderized by protein-digesting enzymes. Take it easy next time with a normal portion.

I'd eat something to soothe your tummy now.

>>8158872
Eating a lot of acidic food will do this. I used to eat tons of fresh tomatoes and would irritate mg tongue.

>>8158911
>>8158908
>>8158898
IT'S GONNA EAT MY GAINS?!

>>8158919
yes

you will soon be a lump of skin, fat, and bones

>>8158911
I've got some peanuts lying around. Guess ill go with that.

Anyhow, thanks for the headsup /ck/

>>8158919
Nah, your stomach has a lot of stuff that deactivates enzymes because a lot of shit we consume has enzymatic activity that would fuck us up if we let it go unchecked.

Your mouth, though...

It's like the above posters said OP. You shouldn't eat a whole pineapple at once because it will fuck your tongue up.
Luckily, the cells that were dissolved will be replaced, probably after a couple good night's sleep.

My parents would always soak the prepared pineapple chunks in salt water for a little while to stop your tongue feeling weird after eating fresh pineapple. Does that fuck up the enzymes or something cause it has always worked for me.

The pain after is the best part, just like salt and vinegar kettle chips.

>>8158868
best thing you can do is douse your tongue in tabasco or sriracha and then lime juice over and over in quick succession.

Drink lots of water afterwards. Always worked for me.

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>>8158872
>be seven years ago
>dating the worst sort of stupid: the kind that thinks they're not stupid
>go out for smoothies
>order kiwi smoothie for myself
>'omg anon, i'll have one, too. i love smoothies! i just hate that itchiness and tightening you get in your throat when you eat them, you know?'
>"no... i don't know... i'm not allergic to kiwifruit. if you are, you shouldn't be eating them."
>'i'm not allergic! that throat tightening thing happens to everyone, doesn't it?!'
>"no... it's never happened to me. pretty sure you're allergic"
>dumb bitch gets smoothie anyway
>the place makes their smoothies 90% frozen fruit, 10% sugar syrup, no added ice
>obviously never had this much kiwi all at once
>cunt's throat closes up
>can't breathe
>go to A&E
>doctor comes in
>'well anon's cum-dump, looks like you're allergic to kiwifruit. don't eat them anymore, k?'
>mfw

The sex was amazing and the bitch was hot as fuck,though. That's why I toughed it out. But never again will I date stupid. You can fix ugly. You can't fix stupid.

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>>8158931
>tfw when your enzymes aren't deactivated

>>8158868
Motherfucker, you just melted your innards for what? Guys don't just go on a pineapple frenzy for no reason. Your girlfriend's probably a dodger and said she doesn't like the taste, so lo and behind, you go and chain swallow an entire pineapple. And look where that's got you. RIP OP.

>>8158903
I love the future. I can watch a dude have a religious testicle slash pineapple experience so powerful it makes him do the robot while listening to soothing marimba beats from the comfort of my couch.

>>8158926
hope they aren't salted

>>8158868
Pineapples are super acidic, that is why. It literally eats your skin away and fucks your tounge up.