Al/ck/ohol: Monday Night Edition

Got a colt 45 mixed with oj and a leinenkugal big butt dobbelbock.

Trying to take it easy on the booze lately. Normally I do a 12 pack or a buncha whisky.

>>8152808

Drink Miller Lite and Jagermeister until I black out watching Monday Night Football, regardless of where I happen to be.

I live in Vegas and we have these bars called Steiners. Seriously good food and decent beer selection.

If I'm home alone ALONE I drink 1-2 bottles of red wine if there's others in the house just 2 tall cans of model michelada really for nostalgic reasonsm

>>8152808
Monday is always opiates and beer drinking while playing video games with my brother.

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just FYI celebrating the fact that you're an alcoholic means that you're an addict and a waste of space. You'll end up as a drain of medical resources which could have been used to save a more deserving someone's life.

Happy drinking you faggots.

How pathetic must it be to lack any impulse control?

>>8153211
We all have our vices. Whether it's alcohol, caffeine, cigarettes, other drugs, work, daydreaming, sports, television, dangerous situations, sex, porn... No matter who you are I guarantee you have a button that you like to push and do so frequently.

>>8153211
>>8153365
Oh, yeah. And fucking food. Duh.

>>8153208
Nobody is celebrating you mong

i'm not a big drinker but uh
what's everyones preferred cheap vodka? I'm drinking popov tonight and i enjoy it more than grey goose honestly...

>>8153208
Read the fucking threads man

Nobody is celebrating

OP literally said he basically drinks out of despair on Monday

These threads help me feel less alone

>>8153624
CVS sells this "grain alcohol" next to the vodka that costs 9.99 for a handle. 4.99 for a fifth. It's insanity. Tastes like shit unless you mix it with tons of sugar.

>>8153624
Pinnacle. Very clean tasting.

Evens: go straight home after work and stay sober

Odds: pick up a bottle and keep myself to a limit of 2 drinks a night

Dubs: drink the whole handle

Trips: kill myself

Can us drug addicts hang out here too? I'll probably have a beer or two tonight, but that's not exactly the main event.

>tfw vodka

>>8155004
What is the main event?

>>8154994
>994
whew lad that was a close one

>>8154994
Holy shit anon stop messing around like that, you're scaring me.

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Cut down from full-blown Leaving Las Vegas mode to just drinking a couple of nice beers at a time, feelsgoodman

second day in a row ive passed out on the bathroom floor. at lunch time.

god damnit I hate this shit

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>>8153201
My 'social life' is pretty much drinking and playing video games with my brother one or two nights over the weekend. We can't get drunk like we us used to years ago but its still better than nothing I guess.

Doesn't help that the gaming industry has become pure sjw cancer besides a few games here and there. It needs to be nuked so it can start over.

>>8155108
Fucking hell m8 that sounds terrible.

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>>8155108
a sign you have to cut back anon

first sober day in a week today.
im determined to get sober and stay that way this time

i cant keep doing this shit to my body. a part of me really doesn't want to die yet.

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>>8155293
>a part of me really doesn't want to die yet.

Drink that part of you to death

>sunday, hungover and finishing off what i have left from saturday night
>resolve to not drink as much this week, last week was an exception because of stress
>proceed to have the hardest fucking day ever at work, literally everything goes wrong and everyone apparently forgets how to do their jobs
>welp better stop by the liquor store on the way home
>tuesday
>nevermind monday, this is the hardest day ever
>etc
still, beats being unemployed and fat like a year ago. even if i haven't had a day off in 11 days.

>>8155239

its a nightmare. literally feels like im going insane

>>8155293

there is no cutting back for me. I either get ass blasted or I don't. I know I have to stop but im too scared of the comedown

you guys have time? I feel like venting.


my name is anon and im an alcoholic.

ive been a morning drinker since I was a teen. started getting worse a few years ago, tried to sober up last summer when I pissed blood

relapsed after 150 days. 3 month bender.

126 days. found out my brother is in a coma. ive been hammered since july. woke up one day in a detox center because I hadn't been to work in over a month.

13 days sober and I snapped. been drunk for over a month. and I say literally drunk. there is not a second of the day im not drunk.

a word of advice guys, don't turn into me. they knew I was drunk at work this morning.

same drunk anon

if you guys do decide to get like me - a few physical symptoms you may get .

the thirst. doesn't matter how much water you drink you will be thirsty

the hunger - you don't eat anymore so it feels like youre starving to death

the poops. clear your schedule cause youre gonna shit 10+ times a day. it'll be the size of a peanut, but itll feel like you have to crap your pants

your eyes - you cant look anyone in the eyes because you feel like a piece of garbage.

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Does anyone have the link to the video on YouTube about the guy who literally went full retard from being such a hard drunk? I think it was made by National Geographic and I remember the guy living with his grandfather and then getting checked into a rehab center in Dallas and then dying a day or two later.

2 weeks sober today and I feel so depressed and my anxiety is through the roof. I can't interact normally with anyone. I just miss booze like a long lost friend and I don't know what to do with myself.

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>>8153208
>You'll end up as a drain of medical resources which could have been used to save a more deserving someone's life.

That's the fate of us all.

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tfw go on three day/night bender and wake up with no phone and a huge marijuana leaf tattooed on my shin...

My car was parked pretty decently though and the pot leaf tattoo is pretty funny tbqhwyf, i've since found the phone too.

>>8155339
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FHVL5-ATKY4
this one??


filmed in my home city

>>8155339
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lny5u-HIwbg
this anon?
i did not realise he died
im going to watch this now to keep me sober.

>>8155358
were gonna make it

>>8155327
i am the same, its either a crate of beer or 3 bottles of wine, or nothing at all. please stay safe anon. get yourself to a detox place before its too late.
i've been there, trapped myself into my room for 3 months blacking out twice a day, talking to myself, cutting my arms up to a horrific extent. stitched myself up almost died there when i ran out of money. i dont ever want to be back in that state again. im taking a day at a time.

>>8155373
pic?

>>8155384

so the talking to yourself is normal? my mind just races and I end up muttering to myself.

you sound like me though. we're gonna make it.. one day at a time. I keep telling myself tomorrow im gonna sober up

just wondering which tomorrow its gonna be

>>8155414
not anymore, i think i was just completely losing my mind from the amount of alcohol and other things i would take. manically talking and laughing, hitting myself

it was some really unsettling stuff when i look back on it.

i believe in you anon. i have got through today sober and am now in bed, i know i can do the same tomorrow

stay safe

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>>8155428
Thanks anon

Heres the chip they forced into my hand when i showed up hammered at aa on saturday and screamed in front of about 50 people "im anon and im fucking drunk"

>>8155458
why would they give you a 24hr chip if you were still drunk? Sorry don't know anything about AA/NA

>>8155458
Do you guys play for these?

>>8155458

>Going to AA drunk

That's a waste of booze

>>8154583
Seconding Pinnacle. I like their flavored vodkas a lot, but the regular kind is fine, too. I've never paid more than 12.99 for a bottle. 9.99 at the store I go to now.

I'm drinking Guinness currently, and later will have some Exclusiv peach vodka mixed with peach pear LaCroix. Exclusiv is another cheap but not gross vodka, but I've only seen flavored varieties.

If I had a small bit of vodka (600ml) and opened windows a crack and sprayed febreeze, the smell of my breath would be gone, right? Thank you.

>>8155480
I have no idea. that meeting is on Saturday so if theres another drunk thread then ill post back after and let you know. anon is on the case.


>>8155490

explain
>>8155492

I never talk about my boozing to anyone. im a quiet person. ive worked at my job for over two years and had lunch in the lunch room twice. I took a guy out for lunch once. we had a jerked Jamaican sub.

AA is oddly calming. theyre really really nice people. ive never felt so accepted

>>8155490
no you don't upfront pay for them.

the donation is strongly suggested.

>>8155517
shit my bad, thought the dude was messing with me

umm the first meeting you don't pay. they didn't let me.

after that they pass you a plate, kinda like church. toss in whatever you feel like.. you do drink the coffee if you can hold it, unlike me cause my hands shook too bad after two days of being sober

but you do see straight up bums and stuff who don't pay anything. s'all good man

Well, I made it through day one of withdrawals which always sucks but I got through it without buying more beer so I think I'm on the upswing

>>8155595
good man. Proud of you.

Stay strong--how's the sleep quality?

>>8155670
Shitty as expected, I used some over the counter sleep aids so I could get to bed but I end up waking up early morning with the bad anxiety

>>8155680

yeah I used to take 10 extra strength ones a night to try to sleep. don't do it

>>8154994

I will follow your rules except kill self because i love my life.

Let us replace trips with

>cleaning the house

>>8155680
I have messed up brain chemistry NyQuil and whatever those OTC diphenhydramine sleep aids are just gives me restless legs and I can't sleep at all

>>8155693

>tfw your family and friends see you stopping at 2 they are gonna start worrying

>>8155702
Weird, 9 times out of 10 it puts me to sleep and I sleep great, but once in a while it triggers huge panic attacks while I'm falling asleep that end up keeping me up all night

>>8155498

Pl respond

>>8155758
what are you concerned about smell wise?

>>8155758
You should be fine on vodka if you're not wasted, it's hard to smell

Inb4 everyone smells it they just don't tell you...I know for a fact that isn't
True

>>8155775

Just that I was at home and drank a bit of vodka, I dont want other people to smell my booze after I left 2 hrs ago

>>8155782
I think it depends on the situation, if you're in an open room and make sure you're not breathing right toward someone you should be fine. They can tell if you're in a more closed space though, a couple weeks ago I had 2 shots of vodka mixed with some soda before going out with friends, hardly anything at all. Even after brushing my teeth within 30 seconds of getting in the car someone asked if I'd been drinking already

>closet alcoholic
>most people don't know im buzzed/drunk
>rather be anxious and twitchy than drink before/during work
>people like me and talk about me in a good way when drunk
>when sober people ask whats wrong with me because i'm quiet and extremely passive/unopinionated
>got completely black out drunk at an employee party
>don't remember shit but covered in bruises from actually having to be physically dragged home
>all i remember is eating steak and then waking up in my bed with no pants, covered in scratches and bruises
>no one is mad at me
>actually got complimented on being a 'happy drunk'
>people telling me i was 'the life of the party'
>i 'came out my shell'
>'we had so much fun'

How the fuck do you cope with the fact that people only like you when you're drunk? My own sleep withdrawals are fucking nothing compared to this. I apparenly feel so comfortable with everyone when I'm drunk, and I've never tried to make out/fuck/get naked such while so. Yeah anxiety pops up here and there but I'm happy to meet and talk with people, I'm just naturally quiet and so 'neutral'. This is also my first time being blackout drunk rather than drinking myself drunk just to sleep but as someone when sober is very much a happy hermit I'm worried about fucking up any relationships I have with anyone. When I'm sober I legit do not give a shit about anything, when I am drunk I wanna know all you're feelings and want to spread mine. Yet when I'm sober I realize I don't feel that shit at all.

How do I not be a sociopath, basically? I feel like I'm tricking people. I feel pretty blunt when I talk about shit. Doesn't keep me up at night. But drunk me has such a better, uplifting, upbeat persona.

>>8155807
I can definitely relate and I'm sure others here do too, lots of us enjoy drinking because we're shy/anxious people in general. I think the biggest thing is changing your mindset, you can't think "I'm only fun when I drink" because doing that makes you unintentionally be even less fun sober since you think you can't socialize without it. Just gotta put a bit more effort into trying to act like that drunk person people like when you're not drinking. It can be uncomfortable but it helps change your mindset over time

fuck it.

the only people you should be afraid of are the cops

>>8155818
I've been here for three years. Only this year, the only two coworkers I hated/straight up said they did not like me and admitted I'd wish I'd get fired - We hang out now. We talk. They ask me to come over and shit. Just because we 'connected' while I was drunk.
Its hard not to think that people only like me when I'm drunk when this is happened more than these two times. I've even repaired relationships with my family - while drunk. Anxiety meds/anti-depressants didn't do this. I talk with them sober too but I do get encouraged to 'have a few drinks to lighten up'.

I never thought I'd have a long lasting job and in my late teens my anxiety was so bad I couldn't answer the phone, nor go up to cash registers. I'd ask complete strangers to do it for me. I do it like a boss, I've done more things that would send me into a panic than I can count on two hands. I feel great about it, really! But socially, and not a robotic worker, paying bills, going to the store, etc with friends and such I feel like is what gets me hard. With benzos and such it only stopped me from panicking. Now I'm comfortable with being anxious/nervous, even with something I know will bug me out I can cool myself off. Thats all they did for me, let me cool down and I'm happy I can do it on my own.
Sober I really don't want to hang out with anyone and it annoys me for the most part. I could be doing tons of other shit but my drunk ass self just wanna makes these plans. Sober I've forced myself to make plans and time for people, and it just annoys me. Now I have a 8 hour trip down the coast, with multiple stops with an international friend, and then we gotta go all the way back up, and then I might be going back down again. And that was planned sober. I do think that maybe this is just my personality and there's nothing wrong with me but being that I want to do so much more sober, and am happy to be close and touchy feely drunk is fucking me up. I don't think its me but I want it to be.

>>8155860
Sounds like your mindset isn't going to change until you start doing shit you're not proud of when you're drunk. Maybe you're one of the few who can really handle all of their alcohol, but most of us end up ruining relationships and doing other dumb stuff that makes us not want to drink as much. And this is all ignoring what regular drinking does to you physically and mentally. Obviously it's really bad for you, and you can hear plenty of people here talking about how shitty withdrawal can be

>>8155893
I ruin relationships sober because I don't care. I have never wanted to hurt someone, go out of my way to do it by all means but if someone is feeling 'generally' bad I'm like eh. I've been in some very needy relationships where people feel like I need to leave work asap because they're feeling sad otherwise I'm the devil. By all means I do think I have dated some crazy ass people that no one should be subjected too, but I also realize that I don't think I'm as emotional, comforting, or needing comfort as people may need. I feel like thats my problem. I'm too stone cold and blank sober, and this was well before I started drinking. I just feel bad I'm giving off another impression while continuously drunk.

I have been through alcohol withdrawals so many times I can't be bothered. Also benzo and opiate withdrawal multiple times. Alcohol withdrawal is fucking nothing to me, and I've been clean from everything else for a good four years. I think I've mentioned it before in some previous thread that I've had some serious insomnia since I was a kid, and no medication, herbal shit, over the counter, etc has worked but even just getting a 'buzz' a booze makes me sleep like a baby. Nothing worked, scripts or otherwise so far but even then I'm still confident I'll still find something. It's pretty scary when some meds put you into night terrors and sleep paralysis for a month straight and the only reason why you got weaned off of that shit is because they put you into a medical induced coma just so you could fucking sleep for once without killing yourself(despite not being suicidal before).

>>8154994
Rawlings

>>8154994
ill roll for tmwr
already drunk now, too late

>>8154994

rollio

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>>8156066

happy times are here again

>Drank so much I got hair loss.
>Quit
>hair grew back
>drinking gain
>hair is starting to fall out again

This is what makes me get sober and nothing else.

>>8156074

wow really

usually alkies have good hair because booze keeps the testosterone low and the testes small

>>8156078

No... You've got it wrong.

Alcohol turns testosterone to DHT, which is the leading cause of hair loss.

>>8156078
>>8156074
I notice I start getting white hairs when I go on long drinking sprees, I'm only 23...

>>8156092

It all comes back. Once you stop drinking take some biotin. It'll help with the recovery whether you are balding or losing pigment.

>>8153208
And so will you when your failure to shit any kids out puts all our care on us poor tax paying shlubs. Fuck off.

Working nightshift has severely decreased my Monday to Friday alcohol consumption.

>>8156091
>>8156092
http://pubs.niaaa.nih.gov/publications/arh25-4/282-287.htm

Alcohol use associated with low testosterone.

Feel free to argue with the NIH if you so desire.

>>8156091
>>8156110

fuck im sorry, im retarded i just made the high DHT low testosterone connection

you're right

>>8155293
I attended an autopsy today on someone who drank so much their entire chest cavity/abdomen smelled pickled. It was enough for me to seriously reconsider casual drinking.

>>8156110
Yeah alkies don't get bitch tits for no reason.

am i going to drink the entire bottle of white wine that was sitting on my desk at work as a thank you gift from a client?

>yes

>>8155004
Sure, addictions to products are close enough. Half of us are poly-addicts anyway.

>>8156116
Sound more effective than the warning signs on labels.

>>8155338
I don't morning drink, but drink hard enough in the evenings to have all of those symptoms when I can't control myself. Like the last 3 months of pure drunkenness.

I went to the bank drunk, wanted to make a deposit. I couldn't type my pin and said I forgot it. I made a new pin, typed the code in, made my deposit. I then quickly left, saying "thank you" really quickly without making eye contact and speed walked out. That's not so bad, right? I could have been a lot worse and a lot more rude, right?

>>8153365
Why are you comparing drug use to working?

Those are pretty much opposites, in my experience.

>>8156603
Some people are workaholics. Every day, every hour, all they think about is work. And that's what they do.

People don't think that it's an addiction, because those people are productive and sober and often successful. But it is an addiction, because they can't stop and it often severely hurts their personal relationships, families, and other people around them.

When those people are on their deathbed, they aren't wishing they had chucked back more red bulls to finish a project faster or done a better job convincing a manager to sell something. They wish they had spent just ten fucking happy minutes more with their wife and children before both left him for good.

>>8152808
I love Mondays (I am the only person in the world who does apparently) because I have a whole week ahead of me to do all sorts of great things. I can clean up my house, then go to work and get all kinds of shit done before the weekend comes around. Monday holds nothing but possibilities, and yields no expectations or excitement because the weekend is so far off that it doesn't even matter. On Monday I sit down and make a list of what I want to get done this week, and no matter how ambitious I might be, I'm still pleased with the fact that I've got goals in my life. Even if those goals are "pick up a bottle of whiskey, do laundry, take out trash, vacuum the stairs, buy condoms for vegetables, get prices to build a new gaming pc, learn how to be an astronaut, count how many quarters I have" at least I know I'm gonna get some of that shit done and feel good about myself.

Then I go to work, come home and drink said whiskey while watching anime or watching videos about how to make pulled sugar stuff. Or posting on /ck/. And fuck you guys I enjoy every minute of it.

>>8156598

Pl respond

>>8155338
>the thirst
This is true. Sometimes I wonder if I might even be diabetic because always being thirsty is a sign of that. No matter how much you drink and piss, you're always fucking thirsty.

>the hunger
I don't feel hungry all that often, but your body definitely functions very differently when most of your calories come from the bottle. There have been times when I was actually starving and I didn't realize it because it didn't register as hunger pangs, I just felt really sick. Which makes it harder to eat because you think you're going to throw up. Basically, I go through phases of eating practically nothing for days at a time, and then getting fed up and eating a huge meal to make me feel less sick. And every once in a while I do just throw it all back up. And it's weird, because I don't feel hungry after vomiting. I just want to lie down.

>the poops
My shits are usually very soft. Either liquid or powdery or just kind of greasy and soft. The worst times are after waking up after a long rest or if I go a day or more without drinking. Then my shits are basically anus-shredding jagged rocks. But yeah, I shit so often per day that I started just leaving books and an old laptop and stuff in there to entertain me. Because you not only shit 10+ times per day, but every shit is an emergency. I think I've shit my pants more times as an alcoholic adult than I ever did as a child.

>your eyes
Ayup.

>>8156106
I prefer to work nights specifically because I drink. There have been months of my life when I've almost never seen the sun. This is not an exaggeration. When I get scheduled for a morning shift, I'm pretty much fucked for the entire day. Not only am I in that weird drunk/hungover stage, but I cannot fall asleep until the wee hours of the morning. I've actually had to show up for morning shift so I could attend meetings and I was aware of myself nodding off and slurring the fuck out of my words. I can't believe I haven't been fired yet.

>>8155373
It's fucking terrifying. I'm a daily drinker so I don't blackout binge that often, but the times when I do I'm fucking terrified. And you have to be a fucking cross between Batman and Sherlock Holmes to try to piece together what you did the night before, and you live the rest of your days terrified that there's a really Bad Thing you did that you couldn't piece together.

I always seem to find my way home, but every weird noise in my car makes me wonder if I drove and fucked up. I try to ask probing questions from the people I was with that night, but very subtly, to find out if I got in a fight or hit on someone you weren't supposed to or tried to rape someone or did something equally shitty.

There are bars I never go to again because I realized I ran up a huge tab, paid with my card, and was too drunk to remember to tip.

And then there are the nervous people who you don't know all that well who ask you if you're okay because "you were really scary that night."

>>8156780

i feel you brother

mostly i stay home alone these days because of the blackouts

just looking at my internet history and not remembering it is scary enough

i used to really get wasted and send horrible texts to ex girlfriends or girls who rejected me. almost got in legal trouble because of it.

>>8157026
I know that feel. I ended one of the best relationships I've ever had in my life because of it, and I didn't realize why she hated me so much until I looked over my text history. And I ended up telling her some shitty things some time after we broke up. Honestly, she kind of treated me wrong but I was way, way more of a monster to her.

And she knows stuff about me that, if she wanted to, could easily get me fired or get me into legal trouble. I guess it's a testament to how awesome she is that she hasn't pursued any of that yet.

Evens i go get a drink here at 7 am. odds i "try" to go back to bed

>>8155108
Oh boy, were you at home or work? Because when I was a full blown alchie I would often have to go to the bathroom at work and lay down on the floor for 30 minutes at a time...usually pass out for part of that. I'm sure people had to have heard me snoring....

>>8157125
Still went to get drink :(

>>8152835
U mean Doppelbock?

>>8157250

at home

I drive home at lunch sometimes I didn't go to work today.

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>been drinking 6-10 beers a night (7-8% abv) for close to two years now.
>mostly binge drank before that
>haven't had any serious consequences
>accumulation of small consequences have got me ready to quit
>gained about 10-15 pounds
>face looks more red than it used to/pores look bigger
>generally more tired than i used to be
>noticing a decent amount of my food budget goes to beer
>sometimes turn down last-minute social invitations because i'm already drunk

i have a cold and didn't feel like drinking last night, so i have one sober day under my belt now. i don't feel great, but that's because i'm sick. i think a major reason i drink is because i have very high anxiety levels. the drinking tends to calm me down. lately though, i've been consciously working on my anxiety problem and am seeing good results. i'm hoping that addressing what i think is the root cause of my excessive drinking will allow me to leave it behind and not miss it too much.

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I'm at a bar.

>>8157822
That was the phone's fault I'm not sideways, yet

>>8155090
How were you able to do that? I don't drink every day, and after a two-month hiatus this summer I'm now drinking only a couple nights a week. But man, when I do drink, I still get smashed. I just can't seem to do otherwise.

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this top tier stuff with some fentiman's or phillips tonic. or just soda and lime

>>8157939
For some people it's harder to completely stop, and for others it is harder to stop once they start. I have an easier time not drinking at all for a day than drinking a moderate amount when I'm bored or having a good time. But it is still possible!
You just have to use the same discipline as not having the first drink but use it for not having the second drink. If you set limits for yourself, and have an alternative ("I'm going to leave and do x or y other thing I want to do if I feel like I can't stop drinking")...
It's just harder to stop after you get to a point where the alcohol feels good, because you lose some of your discipline/feel the craving stronger.
It takes a while to learn to moderate, just like with anything you have trouble with. Look into moderation management, that has more info. Or HAMS is another one.

It puts the responsibility and planning on your shoulders, but offers some guidance to empower yourself to do that. Still tough, maybe always tough. If you can accept that it may always be difficult, then it might give you more power to choose the difficult choice.

>>8156780
>you live the rest of your days terrified that there's a really Bad Thing you did that you couldn't piece together.

I know that feel. There is a passage in Bukowski's Factotum which is about this. He thinks he may have killed someone accidentally, but he's not sure if it was a bad dream or reality. Scary.

>>8155327
It's not about immediately getting better; this should not be your goal. Every day is a new day. You must make progress step by step. Sitting in sorrow and wallowing in your self-pity is just pathetic. If you actually care about yourself you will decide what is the first step and take it.

>>8158052
I'm one of the it's hard to completely stop guys. I can quit drinking after I've had a couple, but the thought of life stone cold sober 24/7 forever, I just don't care for that. I still drink quite a lot though because I haven't been sober for over a month in 3 years, and I've technically been drinking for 8, almost 9.

>>8154583
Came to post this

>>8155327
>they knew I was drunk at work this morning.


I'm not surprised, I'm shocked that you're that bad and still able to maintain a job

>>8156598
If you said thank you clearly then I wouldn't worry about it m8

>>8155338
>the thirst
>the hunger
> the eyes

Are you a zombie mate

my monday routine is getting trashed because i didnt go out on the weekend and get trashed

>>8158218
thanks anon, really kind post. >>8158432

that's what a doctor told me a few years ago when I asked him for pills to deal with anxiety>>8158453
kinda feels like it. just trying to be numb to escape feelings

>no drinks for a year
>suddenly start craving Jack and coke and jagger
It's not that I'm a former alcoholic or that I abhor drinking, I just happened to go a long time with no drinks.

But holy fuck I've been craving a comfy vidya session in my ice cold air conditioned bedroom with some nice whiskey, or maybe jaegerbombs. It might be because I never have more than 12 hours between the ended of one shift, and the start of another

>>8155377
Watching this while drinking an old fashioned, fuck.

>>8158929
Did you make it yourself? What's it look like?

DID YOU MUDDLE THE CHERRY

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I'm turning 21 in a couple weeks, /ck/. What was the first thing you remember drinking?

Also, any recommendations on a good binge drink? I'm not familiar with too much, just some French wine and pub beer from awhile back.

>>8159412
28 year old alkie here, been to detox 3 times

the first thing i remember drinking was...hypnotiq at my friend's house when his parents were out of town. i was 18 years old.

i remember drinking it, and it going down smooth

and then nothing happening...

ok? i thought. what's the big deal? so i drank a few more shots

and then it all hit me at once and i never knew i could feel so good. i imagine it's what like heroin is like for heroin junkies or crack for crackheads. it was a feeling of pure, utter emotional luxury.

the next day i remember just sitting around thinking "i never knew it was possible to feel that fucking good"

>>8159412
My first drink was a metric fuckton of Mike's harder lemonades the legal dumbshit I gave my money to bought for the party, which was worth it if only to see a Swede projectile vomit bright pink fluid

>Also, any recommendations on a good binge drink
750ml Popov vodka for like ten bucks
accept no substitutes

>>8155702

Same. I've always had problems sleeping and I hesitate taking those because I either knock out or am up in a vague stupor with antsy legs

>blackout with friends at a party at some pigtroll's house.
>go to bed, wake up next morning naked in aforementioned pigtroll's bed
>dick smells like rotten lunchmeat
D-did I get raped, guys?

Anywho, I haven't drank since then; I was on a bad downward spiral. Feeling breddy good besides having gotten violated.

>wake up
>drink 2 cups of coffee and smoke a cig
>eat some greasy terrible shit
>play vidya and watch anime
>drink self to sleep
>repeat

I want to end it all

>decided to have the last 250ml of wine before quitting again after lasting 2 days
>instantly shaking and ravenous and go out to buy more within 5minutes of finishing wine
>buy retarded amounts of beer
>drink all beer watching anime
>eating
>forgetting about wanting to die
>piss buckets of fluid in short period of time
>wake up
>worst hangover in a month
>sober all day w/shakes and feeling like death
>sober tonight

not fucking giving this sobriety thing up without a fight. i need to just tee total. one sip of alcohol awakens a fucking vile demon inside me

>>8159412
Why are Americans such pussies when it comes to drinking? If you hadn't been pissed before the age of 18 in the UK people would think you were a weirdo. Faggot

>>8161261

if it doesn't hurt, then it isn't working

good for you, it gets better, it gets easier

hang in there

>>8159412
I used to sneak my moms Mike's Hards out of the fridge from the garage when I was like 15. Threw the bottles in the sewer.. Thats when it all went down hill.

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>>8161263
mfw when started at 13

>>8161261
Got the shakes too. People have noticed and asked me about it, tell them I've had em since I was a kid. It's just withdrawal symptoms

>>8161246
No, you're a man. Men can't be raped by women, and even if they can, they're not to be sympathized with. Surely you're the bad guy for not enthusiastically sleeping with the pigtroll sober.

(This exact thing happened to me.)

>>8161263
We have a very different drinking culture. I didn't get drunk until I was 19, and I almost never had alcohol prior to that.

Not sure why our attitude is so different, but we view alcohol as a sinful luxury, not a core part of one's lifestyle. Interestingly, English Canadians are even more puritanical than we are about it.

>>8154994
Rolling but replacing trips with >>8155693

>>8153211
Yea, no. Once you actually get addicted to alcohol it's not about impulse control. Lack of impulse control doesn't cause severe dysphoria, depression, anxiety, the shakes, and seizures.

Well bros, it's my birthday today. I went out to eat with my parents because I don't have any friends, barely talked much the whole time, ate, and said goodbye. Now I'm alone and doing nothing, but can't drink because I know it's bad for my life. But really, what else is there to live for at this point?

>>8161682
You need to either decide to do shit that doesn't involve drinking, preferably with other people who don't drink much, or resign yourself to drinking. I tried the former, didn't like it because people are intolerable for me to be around if I'm not drunk, and chose the latter option. Halfway through a fifth tonite.

>>8154994
Rolll

>>8155807
This is the worst thing for me. I'm very quiet and reserved when sober but even a little booze helps me relax so much around other people.

>>8161246
>D-did I get raped, guys?
Yes. You could sue, but it takes years of people asking what happened exactly, how much you had drunk, what were you wearing, do you watch porn, to conclude that you asked for it. Similar shit happened to me too, I felt like shit for a while then pretty much forgot about it.

>>8154994
roll

>>8162052
Roll

>>8152808
same as every night. at least 5 martinis after work. 3 oz sobieski, 0.7 oz gallo dry shaken til chilled

>>8155758
chew some gum. you're good so long as you didnt spill that shit all over yourself

>thought i was a responsible drinker when i started
>realize after i turned 21 that it was just because i didn't like having to ask other people for me
>drink till blackout on the cheapest vodka i can find every time i feel like I'll have a day to recover after
>tell myself i'll always save it for the weekends at least
>find out that Mikes has a HardER line of drinks
>only have to drink 6 to get a decent buzz as apposed to however much it would take me of normal stuff (I gave up after 2 and a half 6 packs)
>start drinking during the week too since i know i won't be hung over
>been sober 2 of the last 7 days

What the fuck am i doing with my life, i don't even hate being sober that much, I just like being drunk more, i feel like it's going to kill me if i don't slow down, but i feel like it's the only thing that gets me through the work day sometimes

>>8155807
reach buzz level, maintain. accomplish goals unattainable while sober. rinse, repeat

>>8162089
You are facing an intersection. You can now take the vodka route or continue on the beer route, both leading to a long and painful agony ; or the calm the fuck down route, that also leads to death, but hopefully a peaceful one.

Ran out of Jack daniels, now drinking vanilla extract thats 35% alcohol.
I need help

>knew I had alcohol problems because since high school I had surrounded myself with enablers and fellow-travelers
>college, nothing changes, still got a degree though so cool
>working, still with enablers, although I still show up to work and coworkers/superiors like me
I'm the definition of a self-harming alcoholic, which I feel like is even more pathetic than the regular kind.

I haven't had a sober night in 3 months. The shakes come and go. It's hard to type or think. I think I better drink something or I might die.

>>8162148
You can't be an alcoholic and not be self harming.

>>8162089
Stop while you're ahead. Many of us haven't had a sober day in years. It's not a fun way to live. I fucking hate it.

Finished a five day work week, girlfriend went over to her parents for dinner and whatnot. I just snorted two rails of mdma and bought 8 beers to celebrate. Just hope her dad wont walk her up after he drops her off.

low cal/low carb drinking?

i was thinking everclear and diet mtn dew.
>tfw fl and only 151 proof

i feel like i really need to get drunk this weekend.

>>8162464
>You can't live without dying

By definition we are all "self-harming"

>>8153365
This

I'm addicted to fapping and caffeine

>>8163030
That is some retard tier logic.

>liver levels too high says doctor after blood test
>bin boozing for months
>liver levels now ok says doctor after blood test
>barely drink anymore
>start having black shits
>abdomen pains
>lymph nodes big as cats

wish i carried on boozing now id still be fucked but id not care

>>8152808
"boy life sure sucks, better just keep doing the same shit because that will make things better."

Drunk at work again boys

>>8163468
Is it cancer? That's a fucking bitch, anon. I wish you all the best, godspeed.

I have to admit I kek'd at the 'big as cats' part.

>>8163028

Whiskey/vodka/rum with a 0 cal mixer is good. I usually go with coke/sprite zero or diet lemonade/tea

>>8163028
gin rickeys

-gin
-lime
-carbonated water

so chaps
day 2 sober
its been easier than yesterday, still jittery and anxious/empty inside

been drinking this weird drink of blended up ginger, coriander, lime juice and cucumber just to completely overload my tastebuds every so often to make me not want to drink anything else

so far it has worked.
lets hope i get through the night
stay safe everyone

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I know we tend to be depressive, but...

I'm wasted. For once, let's post what food we want right fucking now.

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>>8163652
this

>>8163690
Katsu karen fuck yeahhhh

>>8163701
Kare*** fucking autocorrect

>>8162138
did this with angostura bitters once. fucked up.

>>8155338
WEW i remember the thirst, had it bad in my early 20s. got addicted to coke soon thereafter.

last call on sunday nights was midnight... around 11:30pm every sunday i would suddenly get cottonmouth, and start mildly panicking. i'd have to rush to the bar down the street & chug a pitcher of beer.

Had a bout of leg pain last week, not sure if it's my body giving me warning signs of gout but now I'm cutting my drinking down. Started to exercise more to try and manage the anxiety that I've drunk my way out of for the last 5 years or so.

so I'm in North Carolina and the liquor sale laws here are fucking insane. sale of liquor is completely run by the state. the only stores that sell liquor are called Alcohol Beverage Control (ABC) stores.

>sober for 4 days now
>hadn't taken more than one day off in the last couple years
>had terrible headaches and nausea the evening of day 2
>slept it off and have felt okay since
>have a lot of good fresh hop beer in the garage
>should be consumed fairly soon for maximum freshness
>not sure what my plan is here

>>8164071
yeh son. sucks being a rum drinker in these bumfuck areas i live and work in.

charlotte had a decent selection when i was there, and SC is close.

these days i just get the cheapest big ass tequila bottle i can and mix it with a tub of margaritas 50/50

freeze the shits and have tequila icees all day it's dope

but don't get those really super cheap fuckin pedro tequilas that aren't 100 percent agave ruins the fuckin thing and tastes like ass juice dude

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>tfw you know that your drinking habit is bad and you want to quit but you don't have any support from others and living the rest of your life sober feels even scarier than what you are currently doing

>>8164165
My nigger. Iktf.

>Work in home brew
>See person come in
>Jitters, anxious, etc
>Wants spirit mix
>Huge batch, at least 4 standard batches
>"It's for a party"

Nobody parties and has enough need for 40 liters of grog each month. I don't know what to do. I usually just put on my best smile and sell them what they want, because the customer is always right, but I can't help but feel I'm just leading them to the gates of hell myself.

It sucks because I enjoy the job any other time, making and mixing flavours and drinks to make new things, and encouraging customers to do the same. It's a big community and we all trade recipes and such and it's just so fun.

>>8164046
mine was SO bad yesterday that I had to run my mouth under cold water every few minutes

it just came back

I have a layer of gross white stuff on my tongue

>>8164270

im the same anon you quoted. I haven't had a drink since yesterday morning. I earned the 24 hour chip I was given at aa

had my first meal in two days. it was pizza for work at lunch

my hands were shaking as i ate it

>>8152808
Anon it's Friday.

>>8164253
>Nobody parties and has enough need for 40 liters of grog each month.
You know he rotates shops, right? He buys as much in 1 or 2 other places.

Ok, I just ate a huge late dinner. There's no way I could get drunk tonite if I wanted to. I'm gonna buy Dark Souls 2 to distract myself for the next few nights. Hopefully the shakes aren't too bad.

>>8164498
We're the only shop for literally like 50 kms. While it wouldn't surprise me, it would be a lot of effort to hide it. And if you're trying to cheer me up, it's not working.

>>8164062
>bout of leg pain
Could be gout. I gave myself gout about a year ago. Shocked the hell out of me. Gout at 33. With exercise and less booze, it's gotten a lot better.

As for the anxiety, exercise is the best thing. I'm a big advocate for it. Make yourself sweaty and exhausted, whatever worries you have are gone when you're just too tired to care. Plus the endorphins released are pretty decent--not as good as alcohol, but better than nothing.

>>8164141
Give it to friends and neighbors. They'll love you for it, and you won't be tempted. Believe me, it's better. You're already past the worst of it, don't go back to the starting point. If for no other reason, you'll be back at the same place, swearing off booze and trying to sober up and wishing like fucking hell that you didn't go back to it in the first place. You know you'll be back there if you give in. Don't do it.

>>8164528
>Dark Souls 2

that's a mistake

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>>8152808
Any winos here?

I'm gonna get two reds and a white tomorrow. I'm thinking Cabernet Sauvignon, Pinot Noir, and I'm not sure on the white.

If you had to get a white wine under $20 for a beginner, what would you get?

My current idea is maybe Sauvignon Blanc or Moscato.

Went on a date with a cute but fat black woman tonight. Date went well overall, but she wouldn't kiss me at the end.

She texted me at the end. It doesn't matter. I'm back here where I'm happy. The whole time I was looking forward to this. I went on the date to convince myself that I'm not a lost cause, and I enjoyed it, but the whole time I was looking forward to coming home and drinking. I've passed up sex several times in the last few months just to get home and drink. Did so tonight, and have no regrets. Sex never felt as good as alcohol.

Anyone who can sympathize?

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>>8164902
There has to be someone here who knows their white wine, or else I'll just buy the first thing that looks interesting and is under $20.

Probably pic related.

>sober for a couple days
>still have 2 beers and a little 50ml bottle of vodka
>considering drinking and possible mixing with klonopin i have just so i can get to sleep tonight
>have to drive an hour for thanksgiving tomorrow and visit family and don't want to be too fucked up for that
>last time I drinking I was fucking around with a knife and ended needing 4 stitches because I hit myself with it in a fit of rage
hm

>>8164902
if you want to get gud buy a blackbox or botabox and a couple bottles at around 10/each of the same grape and spend a couple days getting fucking drunk and figuring out a wine

>>8164902
I only drink on weekends.

currently halfway through a 4L Carlo Rossi jug of blush

>>8164902
>>8164922
It depends on what you're eating. I'm not a huge white wine drinker, but I like a Chardonnay that is more buttery and oaky. I don't remember brands very well as I don't drink it often and never like to pay too much for white wine, but I remember LaCrema being somewhere around $20, and that one was pretty good.

sometimes see Polish builders/painters on the train at 7am drinking beers and trying to keep it inconspicuous.

Is pretty sad tbqh

>>8165481

yup i think this is the standard "normie" reaction to alkies

no offense intended to you

but it's just a mix of incomprehension and sadness and pity

>>8165492
none taken, yep that's it.

>>8164141
day 3 sober
1 large bottle of beer in fridge
>not sure what my plan is here

this always fucking happens. if i drink that beer, ill go buy more. and drink it all. i want to drink the beer, but not go out and buy more and eat disgusting amounts of food and then be sick
but i feel like i am going to

fugg

>buy condoms for vegetables

>>8155498
600ml is not a small amount of vodka.

>>8155338
>>8164046
>>8164270
>the thirst
Is this when you're sober and your teeth start feeling weird?

>people unironically going to AA meetings
looool

it's been debunked time and time again as pseudoscientific and ultimately harmful to the recovery process. if you're one of the 7% of people it works for, then good for you, but the rest of you should stop wasting your time and see an actual medical professional

>>8164971
>thanksgiving
Stop drinking lad. Thanksgiving is in over a month.

>>8165777

no you stop drinking

it's thanksgiving in canada

>>8165477
Next time you want to make you puke and have an empty stomach, drink a litre of water.
It sound like the first signs of pancreatitis. Welcome to hell.

>>8164568
>And if you're trying to cheer me up, it's not working.
I wasn't.
Maybe leave alcoholism prevention/AA/local-non-religious-group leaflets on the counter?

Can somebody walk me through alcohol withdrawal

28 year old male, 205 pounds 6'3"

drank about 5 shots throughout the daytime for the last three days, then maybe 10 drinks at night after work

woke up this morning with horrible, horrible anxiety, drinking now, maybe 5 shots deep

how can i stop this fucking anxiety

>>8161544
>english Canadians are even more puritanical

uh no dude, the drinking culture is pretty huge among us anglo Canadians

>>8166433
Just taper off slowly. Usually 1 shot first thing in the morning will settle me down, then go about your business. Maybe another midday and one in the evening should get you through it. Then start skipping midday and soon you should be able to quit.

>>8166512

thanks friend

i just need to restrain myself after that first shot

>>8166433

I drank a 710 of vodka plus beer for over a month straight. I think you'll be fine man

>>8166520
Yeah, that's the difficulty at first. Try to get involved with something so you're not thinking about it.

>>8166438
From my alma mater:

http://www.indiana.edu/~engs/articles/canada.htm

Also, I remember seeing a chart showing the amount of alcohol consumed per capita, and Canada was one of the few developed countries below the U.S. Can't find it now, though. Maybe I imagined it while drunk.

I know your laws about the sale and advertising of alcohol are a lot more strict than ours, at any rate.

>>8165705

my teeth felt disgusting. I was trying to spit and it was like foam and slightly yellow

>>8152835
Just drank a dopple bock 'bout 10minutes ago...shit is god-tier

>>8166705
OH MY GOD A WHOLE BEER

>>8166713

did you just have your second anon

>>8166844
its 12:55 PM and im balls deep in the vodka

>>8166713
a doppelbock has the alcohol content of two beers, that's why it's called "doppel"

>>8166857

right on. im the guy who posted above about getting out of detox, relapsing, sleeping in cars.getting drunk at aa, etc

whatcha sippin? I like Smirnoff for some reason. very flavor neutral

>>8166544

How can you take it seriously when it's in comic sans?

>>8166870
I used to do smirnoff, but switched to pinnacle. About the same price and cleaner tasting than smirnoff.

>>8166936

never heard of it

don't try polar ice vodka. made me throw up real bad

>>8164902
I was never much into wine. Usually just grab the cheapest vodka I can find. How easy is it to get drunk off of?

>>8164253
>Weekend comes
>Buy 20 beers and a bottle of spirits for myself.
>Most of this will be drunk in a single bender lasting until Sunday Morning
>"I'm having a party" I tell the cashier.

I need to start going to different supermarkets.

>>8167037
If you're going for % / $
hard liq is always better

>get my usual 4 tall boys of PBR
>cashier doesn't say how much they are this time
>"how much are they"
>he responds with a smirk, "You know how much they are"
>give him the exact 6.90 for them

how did my life come to this

>>8167042
>only 20 beers and one bottle of booze for a party

>>8167042
I used to care about what the cashiers here thought about me. I'd even go in when there would be different people working.

Now I just don't give a fuck. It's been 8 years. They know.

And I also know that they have their addictions too, so they aren't judging me.

>>8154994
Roll

>>8167062
Even if they are judging me, I really don't give a flying fuck. If it's the owner, they'll often give me a discount because I'm a good customer. If it's an employee, they're just some scumbag too stupid to get a better job.

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>he doesn't drink wine
>>8166998
>>8166998
>>8166998

>>8167167
YOU DOPPEL NIGGER

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>>8167175
> mfw

>>8167183

cheers

>>8164921
Hmm I like sex much better than alcohol and I'm a pretty serious booze hound when I'm off the wagon but then again I don't fuck fat chicks so YMMV

time to take a poop and get ready for AA. later drunkies! have a strong one for me

no chase. i'll know.

>>8155338
been there recently. isnt it weird. your body is so fucked up you cant get hungry. i recently went 3 days without eating and it was like nothing.

only 22 years old but deciding to try and stay as sober as possible indefinitely

clearly my problems are not as deep set as many people here however i can recognise when i'm getting an issue forming. been a heavy drinker/drug user since i was about 16 but gave up drugs (mostly) since i was 20 and spent most of the last two years drinking multiple times a week, every week, over summer lived back in my home 'town' where all my original friends are all either unemployed on government money and there's not a single thing to do except to get as fucked as possible in order to make life more bearable. Would go to the pub at least 4 nights a week and would always end up spending about £40-£50 (about 10-14 pints) and then would always go to a friends house for drinks afterwards. Put on at least 4kg in about 2 months and funded my drinking by dealing drugs (about 72kg at 5'8")

my dad's an alcoholic, my granddad was and he died a few years ago from a life of drinking, his father was an alcoholic too and his father was too

i want to break the cycle and actually do something with my life instead of being like my friends and family who are just wasting their life paycheck to paycheck trying to stop themselves from getting withdrawals

the main problem is just finding another vice and instead of falling upon drugs i've just been having shitloads of coffee, which has also helped me change friends a bit out of the circle of people who just want to get fucked. have only had 2 nights where i've had a drink since the 1st September, one of which was last week and i still managed to drink >1 litre of rum and a crate

people keep asking me if there's something wrong with me. "why aren't you drinking? don't you want to have fun?" "you don't need to lose weight though" "you don't go out any more! you must be depressed"

i feel the best i've felt in years and yet everybody is obsessed with asking if i'm okay. don't know what's going on but i'm going to keep staying sober

enjoy the blog

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Hey everyone. Hope you're all well.


I'm a hair over a week sober. A tip for ya'll: mix apple cider vinegar with water. It's got an odd taste, but it makes my stomach feel kinda warm like after a shot. Secondarily, kombucha. It's mildly alcoholic, but it helps my cravings.

>be me
>drink excessive beer due to depression and anxiety for 3-5 years
>have digestive problems for about 2 years
>liquid shit after binge drinking, severe depression/low mood/tiredness after drinking
>go gluten free
>go paleo
>go low carb beer
>feel slightly better

Anyone else basically owe their abstinence to their body just saying, no fuck you?

Also thank jebus for marijuana.

confiscated 4 bottles of liquor from people in the barracks (its against the rules to have it)

promptly split them up with my buddies and kept a full bottle of Hypnotiq

>>8166936
>>8166970
This makes me uncomfortable.

>>8167634
I'm fighting my body real hard on this issue right now. All the heavy alky problems are popping up. The problem is, my mind punishes me if I don't drink. So I managed a night off last night, but didn't sleep more than 10 minutes total. Got in a 3 hour nap today to help a little bit, but my chest hurts and I still can't sleep right now. Currently drinking a single beer to see if I can sleep then.

I have a fear that I will be joining your ranks, slowly, but surely.

I don't have more than 3 drinks a night, but just recently, I've been starting to drink every night.

Am I going to be okay? Am I going to make it?

>>8167884


like my dad told me about going to AA because I told him I cant relate to the people who drink a 6 pack a weekend and claim to have a problem..

its not how much you drink, its what it does to you.

I met a guy who claimed to have tried to have someone hired to kill his dad

ive woken up in the back seat of my car not knowing where I am while having pissed myself

stay safe anon

>>8167884
My dad has drank 2 beers before dinner every night my entire life. Sometimes he'll drink 2 before lunch. I've seen him drink 4 or 5 in one sitting twice. His friends have all kinds of stories of his drinking from before I was born though.

>>8167931
My fear isn't the amount, but the fact that it very recently increased. I'm afraid that it'll get worse.

>>8167931

my dad used to have seizures from the amount of booze he drank. I was drinking upwards of a liter of vodka a day and I never had that.
>>8167931
it's a slippery (but tasty) slope anon

it's amazing how it drives you insane. ive met a few people at aa now who have been in psych wards

>>8161682
thats a very common question

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>>8159412
Milk, but my first alcoholic drink was probably a little sip of wine, when I was a but a wee lad.
My first cocktail was a Black Russian, before 21. My first cocktail as 21 year old was a White Russian.
Since I was smoking a lot of pot during fifteen and sixteen I don't exactly remember the first time thing I had, so when mom wasn't around it was either vodka or whisky. There was an incident as a child where I ate something spicy and mistook a colorful glass full of a colorful liquid for Kool-Aid come to find out after a few huge gulps that it was red wine.
But my first drink as a 21 year old was Woodchuck Reserve and The Kraken Spiced Rum.

If you're looking for something to sip on from time to time I definitely recommend a whisky, a nice whisky. Rye, scotch, bourbon, or anything else from anywhere else in the world (you can even make mixed drinks with your whisky as well). If you're not looking for spirits then you could try a wine, the alcohol content is usually much more than beer, of which you should look up the different types for each - beer and wine (the different types of wines are named after the types of grapes used). You should know what liquors are out there - if you're interested in knowing what you like then start buying those 100mL bottles from behind the counter. I started off drinking a lot of craft beers, to see what I like. Yeah, IPA's are a bit of a meme, there seems to be waaaay too many of them being made in my opinion is all.

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>just got out of hospital due to withdrawals
>they put a printout of AA meetings into my hand
>"not this again"

Tuesday is the worst because I go out drinking for the 60 cent wings and like to top off my buzz when I get home

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>>8167980
>https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mxTTlko-0Pw

Isn't AA a bit more... anonymous...? Like, ordered by a counselor or judge or something, taking place in a cold, poorly lit room room somewhat similar to the meetings in the beginning of Fight Club?

>>8159412
First drink was strawberry daiquiri in Germany at 16, hated the bitter taste after swallowing

A fifth of Wild Turkey or Kraken is the best if you have the money, I like to mix both in Vanilla Coke (but you're a pleb like me if you do that)

At my cheapest and shittiest I drink Dragon Berry, Wicked Apple, and Limeade Steel Reserve

>>8167955
allow me to answer

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>>8167884
Me too, but I I'm not drinking too much.
The worst of my habit is that I stay up until the sun comes up. At times I'll still drive to school those mornings.
I keep it varied however, maybe a beer last night and whisky tonight, or perhaps a mixed drink made with rum.

>>8168011

its an insanely welcoming place. I went there ass hammered.. they said ''are there any new members that want to introduce themselves..?''

I stood up, leaning against a chair and yelled out in front of about 50 people ''im anon and im fucking drunk''

after the meeting like 10 people came to talk to me

>>8168011
it can be court ordered. yeah its supposed to be like fight club in that you dont tell peoples names or stories outside the meeting or that they attend

in fact, fight club was based off the self-help model of a group meeting like AA

>>8168051
Bologna

>>8168116
I'm may be a drunk and a lot of other things, but I'm not a liar. The first was when I yelled at last weeks meeting, the second is from tonight when I told them I drink almost a liter of vodka a day.

Believe what you wanna believe anon.

I also met a girl whos number I was given who also knew the same girl I knew who offed herself last week. I cried about her.

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>>8168165
d'oh. pic related.

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>>8156689
I binge drink for entertainment, about 2 or 3 times a month. Usually order food from a favorite restaurant and chug some liquor before eating so I can it enjoy it more buzzed. Watch a good show while sipping drinks until I can't understand it, then watch random shit on the internet until I have truly lost my mind.

My alcohol tolerance is getting concernedly higher and lately I've been getting depressed while drunk and the day after. It doesn't help that I'm fat and stuff like this is keeping me fat. Really thinking about cutting it off altogether before it gets too late.

>>8168168
>about 2 or 3 times a month
Unless you drink truly herculean amounts of alcohol on those occasions, I'm pretty sure that's not what's keeping you fat.

Got drunker than normal last night and evidently tried to be sociable. Sent snapchats to everyone in my contacts, but I have no fucking idea what I sent.

No messages today so I hope it wasn't too bad. Fuck, I hate this feeling

>>8167469
Sounds like you're on the right path to me. I'm turning 34 in a couple weeks, and I'm just pulling out of a miserable bender. I've lost so many fucking years to this shit. I'm going to do what I can to make it stick this time, but good for you for reaching the same point a dozen years sooner.

I'm on day 14 of sobriety here. It's a very mixed feeling.

>>8169651
Good for you. It's Day One for me. Fuck, I can't believe I'm back here again.

>drink 3 liters of 13.5% abv dry merlot in a 12 hour span
>massive heartburn
>shit black acid

Why do I do these things

>>8166433
Don't be a pussy and just deal with the anxiety man.. maybe have a shot or two to calm you down, but you shouldn't need it.. there are plenty of people who drink as much as you do for months or years straight and they get through it just fine.

>>8169731
will try brother

>>8167062
Dude every single restaurant I go in for drinks they know me. They know me at the bar, and at one of the liquor stores too. I couldn't give any less of a fuck, who cares as long as you and everyone else are being pleasant.

>>8168103
sheeeiiit

>>8169687
Fellsgoodmen.jgp

Who's getting fucked up for the debate tonight.

>>8168820
Delete apps that delete messages, only use the ones that leave you an history of posts with timestamps.
I don't get how, on this day and age, people still rely on their brains to remember things.

>>8166433
Just recognize why your feeling anxious and realize your thoughts arent clear ATM.

>>8167183
SOMETIMES YOU WANNA GO

>>8168820
Same thing with me on FB, I moved and dont have a lot of friends, So ill randomly hit up people on messanger and/or shitpost on friends and coworkers walls in a very 4-chan hostile/sarcastic style. (no meme spewing fuckery though) and this is usually on my days off where I'm drunk by noon.

I'm scared to look in my inbox history from saturday.

>>8170988
WHERE EVERYBODY KNOWS YOUR NAME

How many times have you blacked out and lost your memory before? It's only happened to me once and I swore off of spirits because of it.

It's just wine and beer for me now.

If I'm not working (24hr shifts) I'll make myself a few cocktails, whatever I'm in the mood for. Went on a moscow mule binge for a bit, probably gonna do long islands next for a while.

>>8171509
Probably six or so times in my life? Then again I started drinking at 17 so I don't make the best decisions when it comes to alcohol

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>>8154994
rolling for to easy my depression

I hate myself and want to die

>>8155322
Maybe work is so hard because you're always hungover and/or feeling the cumulative depression of drinking over extended periods of time.

Come off the booze and you might notice a mood change.

>>8171509
It happened daily during my bad days.

I tucked up bad this weekend. I live in Florida and we had that hurricane coming through so i had several days off work...basically used it as an excuse to go on a bender. Got near black out drunk a couple nights and then drank a bunch when I woke up yesterday morning. Withdrawals kicked in last night once I had woken up, so I was just laying in bed all night suffering with the shakes, sweats, anxiety, you guys know the deal.

Didn't sleep at all, was terrible. Now I'm stuck at work until 4 just waiting for the feeling to stop. This sucks so much and I hate it more than anything in the world I just wish I didn't do things like that. It's like every time I make a little progress with it, the demon finds some way to rear its ugly head again.

thanksgiving day here in syrup land so everythings closed.. found out a liquor store in Quebec is open for a few hours

god bless queerbec

My mum died six days ago. I've not really eaten properly or slept since as it was a massive shock and she was only 56.

I got very drunk last night with friends, came home, was sick in the bath. I haven't been sick from alcohol in years.

I am glad it happened though, means I will take it easy at the wake.

>>8171990
im on day 4 of a bender

just drinking to stop withdrawals now

called in sick to work

>>8172486
Dude I'm sorry. Hope you can rally out of it soon.

>>8172486
I was on over 30+ days of about a liter a vodka a day

don't do it man. I honestly thought I was gonna die. lost feeling in two fingers, skin is dry pimply and disgusting, shit your pants all day, start seeing things, cant talk to people

get off the booze cruise.

>Move to new city
>Single and no friends in said city
>Start going to bars to try and socialize more
>Actually start making random friends at bars
>Start drinking more often
>Drink more in the last 6 months than the last 3 years combined

It's kinda scary how I'm getting more and more used to drinking. I also hate how Drinking is the only way we can socialize.

>>8154994
Check em

>>8172816
I was at a fifth every day for several months myself a couple years ago...stopped being "fun" way before that though. I was only drinking because I HAD to or risk going into shock. Worst fucking experience of my life. Laid in a hospital bed for 4 straight days, never felt anxiety like that in my life. After the first day I remember my whole body was shaking so bad I couldn't even walk...at all. Doctors weren't very informative or attentive, just stopped by once a day to check on me, even had med students come by to see me...like groups of them. I've never felt more embarrassed, shameful, guilty, etc.

It's never worth it. It never was worth it and I am a fool every time I think I can just have a few every so often without it getting bad again. I'll never go back to that dark place again, but I've gotten pretty close multiple times in those two years.

It is the worst thing I've ever been through, and I hate that I am this way.

>>8173245
What'd they put you on Librium or Valium or what?

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You know it's bad when the problems you drink to escape all resulted from your drinking.

I had my tri-monthly (whatever the medical term is for shot every three months) shot on Thursday. Hadn't eaten, drank below average amount of water (which is good for me), and was on my normal, maintenance dose of klonopin and propranolol, accompanied by cigarettes and coffee.

I get the shot in my ass and step back for a few moments thinking to myself that I should've eaten in the past two days and felt dizzy for a moment. From what the doc told me, a minute or two later, I woke up with my head between my knees and nauseous as fuck with my body drenched in sweat. I had a goddamn seizure from the shot.

I've had this shot on schedule for years. It's not the meds. It's my body and its shitty ass compensation for trauma like a shot. I had a godamn seizure. I fell back whilst seizing, smashed my back, then ricocheted my head into the cabinet behind me. My back is bruised and my head still has a lump and hurts like a mother fucker.

It's only funny because this would happen to me. This isn't funny at all because I can't tell if it's benzo withdrawal or alcohol withdrawal or a combination of heat exhaustion and dehydration.

This isn't funny. OH I PUKED BLOOD. OH I LOST MY JOB. OH I ________. Guys, this lifestyle isn't a joke and as much as we fucking glorify and make light of how horrible things are, this is still the worst fucking addiction I've ever had in my life and I've done some pretty terrible things.

If you're reading this and are borderline CA or think you're a teetotaler, get the fuck out whilst you can. It's not funny. It's not funny when you carry 10mg of klonopin on you at all times IN CASE of emergency, supplemental to your normal doses, in hopes that you don't go into withdrawal whilst at work.

Nothing about this is glamourous. Nothing about dry heaving in the bathroom at work or being the one ordering 5 shots straight before you hit beer or wine is glamourous.

>>8173360
This lifestyle will kill you and me. We will all die painfully alone and in the most dismal way possible. It's not funny that you can't stop shaking until a fifth of the way through. I'm fucking 21 years old and feel 100 years old inside. There are unspeakable things that have aged people like us overnight, but if you can get out now before you get to the point of being unable to function without vodka bandaids and emergency handfuls of benzos? Get out now.
Obviously I'm wasted right now because I'm done with work, but hopefully my fernet and whiskey and imperial IPA soaked words will resonate with some... Maybe it won't do fuck all. It probably won't do fuck all. I had a goddamn seizure for the first time in my life and I can't figure out why and the doctors - fully knowing my lifestyle - told me it's because of withdrawal? Fuck, dude. I don't wish this on anyone. Even those I hate.

I'm lying here in bed and have to be back at work in 6.5 hours and I have one drink left before I run the risk of still being trashed at my work. Hence, benzos. Hence, benzo addiction that is only exacerbated by alcohol addiction. My anxiety and panic levels are through the roof. This isn't funny, this isn't a morose anecdote that people this this thread can relate to.

>>8173363
This is fucking life. I'm going to have a terrible night's rest and wake up dry heaving until I can choke down benzos and coffee and white knuckle my 14.5 hour double tomorrow.

If you can, get out now. If you're as in it as I am, I hope we all die of pancreatic cancer so at least it's quick and the drugs are good.
Being an alcoholic isn't funny. It's not glamourous. It's not unique. It's not something we can proselytise about as if we've discovered the second coming of christ. Alcoholism is dirty and infects every fibre of our being and destroys - what we've left from what brought us to this point - every fibre of our being. It's not funny after the 50th time your manager has to make you chug a few shots in the office so your hands stop shaking long enough to stir a martini or an old fashioned. It's not funny. It's never been. We make jokes and use our dark humour as a way of coping and avoidance of what our lives are.

I have two drinks, maybe three, tops, left before I have to cut myself off. My point, if I even have one at this point, is that I had my first seizure and I am far too young for this. How some of you twice my age have made it this long is beyond me.

Fucking STOP if you can. If you're young enough, get the hell out now. Get away from everything about this now. There's nothing unique or fun about having GERD and gastritis and puking blood every few months and being accustomed to "oh, it hasn't happened in a few months".

FUCK THAT. Get out now. Your life is just going to get so far beyond worse that I wouldn't wish anything about this life on my worst enemy.
Okay, I'm still hammered and I need to cut myself off from this, otherwise I'll tear myself a new one, then everyone else. No one has time for this. I'm going to chug my few drinks left then try and sleep in hopes my long ass weekend isn't as nightmarish as it will probably be.

Fuck it all.

Peace.

>>8173365
Wow. I am long term alki (25 yrs), no drugs though. I haven't puked blood yet or had seizure unless passing out counts as seizure.

Just wow, man.

>>8171509
40+ or so, been arrested twice during xanax blackouts as well, quit doing drugs after the second time.

>>8173326
Yea, steady come down of lorazepam. Was getting it every few hours through an IV. Even with it to help the detox, it was still an unimaginably bad experience. I saw people that weren't there, I had endless loops of a song stuck in my head that would never end, every little unexpected sound was enough to send me into near panic. I was puking up shit that I never even thought existed in my body

30 days sober here

Had a couple of rough weeks. Pissed off a good friend of mine. He's tired of my drinking antics, hasn't talked to me since the tail end of my bender. I don't even know what I did. Probably going to stay sober a few more days then get back at it

>>8173383
Yeah seriously makes me feel a lot better about myself.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CrTlI6seM0A If you want to feel better about yourself and also scared as hell watch this.

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So for the past 8 years or so I've gotten blacked out drunk nearly every single night. Been trying to quit on and off, but this time I don't have a choice because I'll be going through some shit very soon.

Anyway, point is, during the day I tend to be mostly okay, but when the night hits, during the time I'm normally drunk I'll get crippling to sometimes an almost suicidal depression. Is this a common thing? For it just to tend to occur when you'd normally be wasted?

Cutting down is much harder than I thought it would be, I am seriously trying to get my life on track and drinking half - 2/3ds of a bottle of spirit a night really isn't helping.

I am fine during the day, but in the evenings I find myself going for a drink. I tell myself it will just be one or two, but it always ends up more than that. I think it might be boredom more than anything actually.

I have been drinking too much for a good few years now, and aside from not sleeping that well I haven't had any of the awful symptoms described in this thread yet. I really want to stop before I get to that point.

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Last SMBC is related to this thread.
http://www.smbc-comics.com/comic/self-destructive-beverages

>>8174673
>tfw got drunk off of rubbing alcohol twice

Lowest point. I can't even smell the stuff now without dry heaving

i had a friend from childhood die recently from a pulmonary thrombosis due to drinking. he started the heavy alcohol route at 16 and is now dead at 43.

my best friend from childhood also recently took his own life after a lifelong battle with depression. he wasn't a drinker but was on a lot of anti-anxiety meds that really messed him up.

everyone has demons. life is suffering. i'm hoping exercise and a study of psychology will help me put my own existential dread into some sort of perspective.

i started here, from a link i found on /sci/

https://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_embedded&v=gwUJHNPMUyU

i could really use a scotch though ..... good luck guys.

>>8152808
Ive been drunk everyday for the past few months after quitting weed after 10+ years of smoking like an addict.

First it was bourban till the taste of it made me cringe, now vodka but ending it now with beer. I'm going to stop over the next few days to come when I run out of booze.

>>8157831
kek

>>8161260
Who there buddy. Relax a bit

>>8164902
I really like the Pinot Gris from Cave de Beblenheim

>>8167042
I do the same.
I choose different shops and I am relieved when I visit the same shop and there is another person working.
Some times I can see the look in their eyes..

Tfw only 23 but life is falling apart because of drinking excessively everyday since leaving high school at 16

What do /ck/ i want to get off this train

Anyone else on probation here?

I've been sober since March this year, and I ETG/drug test 3x monthly.

sobriety is actually kind of nice after the first few months.

>>8174700
How does that even work? Like I know alcohol in general is fucking garbage for you, but isn't rubbing alcohol exceptionally poisonous for consumption?

I really don't know much about the stuff.

Someone gave me a bottle of 16 year old scotch, but I don't really care for it neat. Is it heresy to have a scotch and soda with the good stuff?

>>8176419
yeah but who cares really

>>8176419

drink it with lots of ice. it really mellows it out.