cullanary game of macgyver

Dumb ingredients not the least bit challenging.

Just chuck the whole lot in the oven and plop the celery in a Bloody Mary. Job done.

>>8108179
at least i tried at making a thread,

what would you suggest?

>>8108185
Why are you whining at me, baby? Did I sage your thread?

Revise your ingredients.

Here: have another bump.

>>8108173
cut open the chicken put the raw onion and the fig inside. put the chicken in the oven for 5mins (not preheated). take out the chicken, put rosemary and celery over the chicken. serve together with cold milk.

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47KB, 500x505px

>>8108206
> 5 mins

>>8108173

Simple.

>dice the fig, mince the onion.
>take the chicken, freeze it for a solid 3 days.
>while the chicken is freezing, take the fig & onion, and leave it in the sun for three days
>after the three days, eat the rosemary raw, while you take the chicken out.
>take a potato peeler, and shave the chicken into thin slices
>take a food processor, and powder the dried onion & fig
>eat some celery as you work
>put the chicken slices on the grill for 10 minutes
>after the chicken is done, fold the chicken into origami on the plate, and garnish with the powder.

Enjoy

>>8108173
Dice onions, celery and fig. Sautee onions and celery then fig. Use this as stuffing. Mix melted butter with rosemary (and salt) and spread it all over chicken. Stick it in oven for 2 mins.

>>8108173
Chuck onion, celery, rosemary, chicken in water. Bring to boil and simmer for 40 mins. Strip chicken and mix with chopped up fig.

shoot the 3 relatives, grind up their body parts into sausages. bland, but filling.
im sorry, did i not get the point of your exercise? it was to survive as long as possible, right? isnt that what we are supposed to do anyway? i have a great set of meat grinders, im never hungry.

Assuming I have access to staple ingredients:

>Butter in pan, cook figs and onion at low simmer until reduced to loose, caramelized compote

>Salt+ pepper on chicken
>Rosemary under skin and in cavity
>Roast at 400 for 40-50 min

Slice chicken thinly and serve with fig compote on top

>>8108173
Eat the fig, cook the rest simple

>>8108173
Wouldn't it make more sense to play this with cooking apparatus rather than ingredients? Or both?

You are in a pantry full of all common food products, and a large work area. You must cook a meal to feed 5. The only things you have to cook this meal are:
>a lighter
>three straws
>a garlic press
>a knife sharpener
>an empty oil drum (clean)
>a stack of old newspapers
>the American flag

What do /ck/?

Age for good OP.