Buffet Stories

>>8101578
the last time iw ent toa buffet was yeras ago remmber being visibly disgusted and being told to not look at ppl

>but I got stopped at the doors by the guards.
Where the fuck do you live that buffet have guards? Were you at a casino or something? Do they even have them there?

>>8101603

its a meme, fuckwit.

>>8101697
You're a fuckwit, you teenage motherfucker.

>>8101701
shut up bitch

>>8101724
Fight me, cunt.

>>8101578
>when you visit a Buffet, /ck/?
I try not to. I really think that most are improperly maintained, from food temperature to cleanliness of the utensils. If someone isn't dishing the food onto your plate for you, wearing a glove, then you're using handles touched by diners who just licked their fingers, or haven't washed their hands after the last 3 bathroom trips that day, or maybe even not that day at all, but they did touch the back of their chair, that bathroom door stall, every single spoon on the buffet, the front door of the restaurant and their steering wheel, the table top, you name it. Chinese buffet with food added to dirty bins? No thank you.

Brunch at a nice hotel, with a food server at every station, yes, but I'll be choosy and gravitate towards things that just came out of the kitchen, and I never go close to closing.

>>8101578
are you having a buffet in a jail? why are there guards?

>>8101578
>be me
>in vegas with my brother
>hit up all you can eat buffet
>endless oysters
>they are actually top quality
>we eat until we are about to bust
>unannounced to me
>brother has filled his cargo pockets up with oysters
>we are on our way outside to the van
>guy in suit comes up ask how it was
>I tell him excellent
>he says "how about some desert"
>I thank him and explain we over did it on oysters
>he insist we come back inside
>im a little wierded out
>take us into back room where Chinese man is waiting
>guy confronts us about stealing from the buffet
>I say "hey mother fucker we paid up front"
>chink does a fucking karate kick to my face I black out
>as im regaining consciousness I can only half way understand whats happening
>guy is asking which hand my brother shucks oysters with
>he tells him OH FUCK!
>he's got his hand laying on the table the chink comes around with a huge fucking hammer
>BAM!
>he cracks open a wooden box with it takes out a golden bracelet with the words top eater engraved on it places is on my brother and we stroll out of there like kings

>>8101805
I almost never wash my hands after going to the bathroom. There are a few minor excpetions:

>Someone else is waiting for the bathroom and I don't want them to notice that I never turned on the sink. I usually just have the sink running while I button up my pants in this case.
>I am at a public restroom and multiple people are currently using the sink. I don't want to get singled out.
>I got poop on my hand from a messy wipe job.

Other than that, I never wash my hands after using the bathroom

Cici's pizza counts right?
I rarely go there but when I do I stuff myself with mac and cheese pizza and strombolis.

>>8101985
>public restroom

That's literally the last place you should wash your hands. You should avoid touching anything in them, especially the faucet handles.

>>8102006
>avoid touching anything

Most have motion sensor faucets and motion sensor paper towel dispensers

>>8101805
Yeah that might be an issue if you have a compromised immune system you fucking child
If poos can walk around in their own shit all day and hand eat from a communal rice bowl I think you can eat at the buffet relatively safely you big baby

>>8101960
it must suck to write such a long post, only for it to go completely ignored because it's not funny
here, have a reply because i feel sorry for you

>>8102023

Sorry Richie Rich we don't all live on the white side of town.

File: IMG_0637.jpg (64KB, 500x375px) Image search: [Google]

64KB, 500x375px

>>8101960

>guy is asking which hand my brother shucks oysters with

I laughed.

>>8102077

I'm laughing.

Former golden corral "pizza chef" here. I learned so much shit about buffets that I will never go to one ever again. We found month old pork in the fridge one time and owner told us to put it into a stew. We pour water into pans of food that have been sitting there all day so they look fresher. We keep reusing pans of food every day until it's gone. One time some meat loaf looking thing was reused for three weeks. We made jokes about it. None of the cooks ate there btw

>Clams on a buffet line

Free diarrhea for the people that really want the food baby aborted by the end of the day

File: Mexican-gangs-target-Black-families.jpg (16KB, 300x201px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 300x201px

My best buffet story recently is quite the doozy
>Chinese buffet in next town over aka spic central
>the food is good quality for a buffet but the crowd obviously is very low quality humans
>shit like grandpa having granddaughter sit in his lap while he eerily brushes her hair and feeds her
>rican families practically yelling in their shit jaja language
>white trash slowly waddling through the buffet aisles like zombies
>enter papi carlos straight from CALIBRAH
>we're talking stereotypical shitskin thug with the one button flannel shirt basically a pic related
>he goes up to the sushi bar and grabs a piece of something and smells it
>starts being a complete fuck in front of the little mami slut he was clearly trying to impress
>EY MANE DIS SHEET TASTES LIKE CAT FOOD ESE
>IF YOU TRY SERVING DIS SHEET BACK IN CALI YOU'D BE SHOT DAWG
>Asian making the sushi takes this as not only an insult but a threat
>He starts yelling at him and telling him to get the fuck out of the place
>Juan doesn't like this and pulls a knife out of his pocket but doesn't extend the blade
>EY MANE HOW BOUT I JUST FUCKIN PUT YOU IN YOUR PLACE
>sushi asian goes absolutely ballistic and starts yelling about how he's got a weapon
>next thing you know three asian men pour out from the kitchen all brandishing large knives with one having a big rolling pin
>Julio panics and puts his knife on the ground but is still running his mouth
>YOU'RE LUCKY DIS AIN'T MY TURF BITCH OR YOU'D ALL BE DEAD
>Mousey spic bitch he was with already ran out of the building at this point
>the three kitchen Asians all converge on him without their weapons and beat the living fuck out of him for what seemed like an entire minute
>call the cops then he gets hauled off
>tfw I was up at the buffet eating crab rangoons out of the tray the whole time with a front row seat
>owner gives everyone else in there a coupon for a free buffet visit

I was so happy I decided to go to the buffet one town over that day

>>8101805

Go Home Jerry S

>>8102023
idk, some have motion sense flushes, some have motion sense faucets, most have motion sense dryers, but rarely is there one where you literally don't have to touch anything that 50 other people haven't touched that day.

>>8102117
I read AND laughed at this, anon.

>>8102117
i enjoyed this tale, anon, ty

File: black guy laughing.jpg (58KB, 525x426px) Image search: [Google]

58KB, 525x426px

>>8102117
the rolling pin got me

>>8101960

I keked, thanks anon.

>>8101985
>>8102006

I keep paper towels around to touch the faucets. Wash hands for 20-60 seconds and you're good.

>>8101801
autism speaks.

we tip with a RIP

>>8101960
>be me

stopped reading there

>>8102083
>motion sensor faucets
>Richie rich
Nigga, I've been in truck stops with motion sensors. Admit that you live with failures, because you're somewhere that humanity has given up on

>>8102083
t. pajeet

>>8101960
10/10 keks anon

Does anyone have the Golden Corral posts saved from a while back - I think the guy was there because of his buddy who loved KPop or something?

Someone made a dramatic reading of them, too, but I can't find that shit either.