Pizza

Oh no you poor thing

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>order dominoes
>pizza is fucking cardboard
>cheese is rubbery
>tomato sauce is virtually non existent.
>whenever i think back to it my teeth and gums hurt.

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>be promised pizza party as a reward for performing fellatio
>none of the pizza includes anchovies as a topping

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>co-worker asks if I want to eat pizza for lunch
>brings back 2 pizzas
>one for me one for him
>little ceasars
>shit crust
>shit cheese
>shit pepperoni
>sauce tastes bland
>pizza tastes bland
>eat half of a piece
>leave rest on table
>a box full of meh
>go get rubios fish tacos instead
>refuse to eat little ceasars ever again
>he got laid off a few weeks later
>no fucks given

>>8092556
>order from panagos
>pizza has 0 sauce on it
>tastes like shit
>phone in and complain
>get a free pizza
>get it the next week
>ask for extra sauce
>no sauce on it again
>phone and tell them to fire whoever sauces the pizza
>never order from there again.

There is only one local place near me and they charge $32 for a large and they are only marginally better then the chain places.

Shit sucks

>>8092556
>Order Domino's
>Everyone but me gets food poisoning

>>8092512
Ketchup in a calzone.

>>8092561
what

>Pizza Rock in Vegas
>Order their special which has prosciutto and arugula on it since it was delicious every time I've been there
>Pizza is 50 minutes late
>Bottom of pizza is hard as fuck
>One side cold and one side lukewarm
>They fucking fucked up refiring it after forgetting about our table

Fuck you Pizza Rock.

>>8092561
kys weeb faggot

>>8092570
Little ceasers is awesome just get the fresh ones

Why the fuck would you use canned mushrooms unless it is a recipe that specifically requires them? It's not like it's some super-perishable and rare food item and no way they don't have a store that sells fresh mushrooms within a mile's radius. How fucking jewish can you get?

>>8092983
Price. Canned mushrooms would have been from China.

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>>8092570
>my autistic coworker my boss asked me to keep an eye on is having a bad day
>his caretaker packed him regular tendies instead of dinosaur shaped ones
>ask him if he would like a pizza, everyone loves pizza
>short on cash this week, so I'll get a 5 dollar pizza from Little Ceasars instead of his favorite Chef John endorsed pizzeria
>was supposed to save that for gas to drive home but im sure God will provide
>give the pizza to my special friend
>he eats half a slice before he gets up suddenly and sprints out the door
>find him sitting alone at Rubio's with a water cup saying hes waiting for Rooney Mara to show up for his play date
>I lure him to my car with some over sized legos and drop him off at his house and i head home
>car runs out of gas halfway there and i walk home
>get laid off a few weeks later when my special friend takes a shit in the break room and says i did it

>>8092512
I once had ice cream pizza.
It was hot garbage.

>>8092983
I actually don't mind canned mushrooms. They are pretty cheap, and come in a small package that is just enough for one serving.

>>8093039
>ice cream
>hot

Well, there's your problem.

>went to canada's wonderland
>get pizza pizza
>only option without meat is plain cheese
>tastes like a box
>$9 a slice

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surprisingly this was not bad whatsoever

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>go to this otherwise respectable pizzeria
>order seafood pizza because it's goddamn summer and they have a lot of business so ingredients are fresh
>enjoy my pizza, save that one entire shrimp for last because I want to savor
>it's fucking raw because some chuckle fuck probably added it at the end thinking it'll be done in 30 seconds

Ruined what was otherwise a really nice pizza.

>>8092556
>>8092570
>>8092589
>>8092798
>eating chain pizza, ever

when will you learn? and don't give me that "I don't know if those small places are any good". that's what you have goddamn yelp for. you have a smartphone, fucking use it.

>>8092556
>order dominos
>open up box
>just literally a pile of human shit in there and nothing else and the box top says fuck you and kill yourself on the inside
I drew my gun and held it to my head for 45 minutes but then just put it down and threw everything away.

>>8092512
>go to brooklyn to supposedly good pizza place
>pay like twice the price than i normally do back home in finland
>pizza tastes worse than shitty pizza in finland

When I went to Seoul I ate pizza with corn and mango.

>>8093785
Nigger I literally said there is only one local place near me and its hardly any better for only twice the cost so don't rope me in with those (You)s

>order Papa J's
>it's okay I guess
>put leftover in fridge
>go to bed
>wake up
>oh boy time for cold breakfast za
>the crust has become soggy pudding overnight

This is the only pizza franchise that this happens with for me

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>get a pizza from a local place
>anchovies, salami, mushroom
>from past experience with other pizzerias I'm expecting a single anchovy slice or two on each piece
>receive pizza
>they've gone and dumped like a whole fucking can of anchovies onto the pizza, every single bite is at least 30% anchovy
>literally can't taste anything but fish and salt
>end up chucking pizza out

>Order Domino's for first time since I had coupons
>Get pizza
>Cardboard, no real taste, the usual chainshit
>*Crunch*
>Pull out metal bracket from mouth, think one of my braces must have popped off from the tough bread
>Check in mirror, not mine
>Return it to store, store staff stupidly embarrassed.
>Wave it off since Im never one to bitch out/make a scene for food workers
>They give me free drink and pizza to compensate.
>Never order Dominos again

>>8094335
you cannot eat cold papa johns for breakfast. Always gross as fuck.

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One time we ordered two pizzas, a spicy chicken, and a meat feast for the faggot who can't handle paprika flavour pringles.

Pizza arrives a little late, we open them. Spicy chicken and a spicy chicken. We phone and ask what happened to meat feast.

Delivery man phones back and says sorry I found it in the boot of my car, I'll get a new one. So we wait while the one guy who wanted chicken goes to town on his double pizz.

Replacement pizza arrives. Idiot answering the door doesn't check it before walking in, we open it, it's a pepperoni with beef for some reason. So we phone again, and three hours after the initial delivery we receive a meat feast pizza.

All the pizzas were delicious by the way.

>>8094349
why not pick the anchovie off?
it'd probably still be over-anchovied but it would have been edible

>>8094831
>order two pizzas
>get two extra pizzas
that sounds like a good deal

>>8093446
I kind of like the spongy shittiness of canned mushrooms sometimes. Penn Station uses canned shrooms and canned artichokes on one of their sandwiches, and I delight in its shitty pleasantness.

>>8092512
i made a pizza and put way too much sauce on it and no cheese when i was 9

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>>8094158
>order dominos
>open up box
>there's an envelope with a note and pic
>read the note
your son is kill and I know who dunnit
>the pic is of myself
>my son suddenly enters the room
>so suddenly my ptsd kicks in and I give him the old FPPEHT
>mfw

>>8094364
doubt it

>>8095087
Someone's never worked in food before. Shit like that is hardly uncommon.

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>be on vacation on the amalfi coast
>little restaurant right next to the water
>all of my family orders various pizzas and pastas
>I figure "I'm right next to the sea I should have the seafood pizza this is gonna be incredible"
>all the food I had eaten on this trip up until this point was fucking mind bogglingly good so I had high expectations
>literally just a cheese pizza with steamed, unseasoned squid, shrimp, mussels, etc blanketed on top
>somehow pick the shittiest item on the menu, have bites of family members dishes and its all god tier except for mine
>my facial features when

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>on vacation mexico
>kids want pizza
>I want beer and tequila
>drive golf cart to pizza place in town
>order pepperoni pizza
>order "mexicanos pizza" (sic)
>buy beer and booze next door
>drink a beer take swigs of tequila
>waiting for pizza
>mexibro from golf course walks up
>drink beer with takes shots blah blah
>"aibro they can make you a good pizza"
>goes in and esplains to cook.. we cool
>pizza ready
>drive golf cart to house drunk af
>kids all hungry
>wtf? they gave me 3 pizzas?
>pizza party
>large pep
>large mexi-pizza
>12" pan sized pesto pizza
>son loves pesto eats a slice
>says its burnt tasting
>i eat pesto & mexi slice
>pesto was burnt tasting
>hour later
>son throws up all over patio
>says he's dizzy
>I start feeling off but drunk so dont know
>kids finally pass out on my watch
>wife sleep
>stray dog is hanging out begging on deck
>im watching tv
>I know this feel
>I'm stoned af
>pizza man dosed the pesto
>fuckn mexibro dosed me
>it all links up now
>feels sorta goodman
>drink more beer
>give dog pizza and some crumbs
>pass out
>morning
> wife and kids wake me up laughing
>i'm spooning a stray mexican dog
>pesto box on floor empty
>dog shit on carpet
>entire house smells like dog shit

at some point i must have closed the sliding door and the dog couldn't get out and took a runny shit on the carpet.

#fuckpizza.

>had this pizza place open for nearly 30 years
>small town, local business
>not amazing, but usually decent. only non chain pizza you can get in town
>never have issues with it til I get to high school
>get a pizza from there
>get insane, screaming eagle shits
>a shit where you have to get completely naked cause you're having cold sweats
>assume it's just a one off deal, about 2 months later get another pizza there
>same thing happens
>go there 6 months later or so, avoid pizza
>they use barbeque sauce instead of marinara in their baked spaghetti i ordered

A year afterwards one of the managers, who was a former drag queen, got in trouble for stealing $15,000 from the company.

>>8092561
Shut up you literal faggot

>>8095595
That photo, what the fucking hell.

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>>8092512
>order from this place near me
>get a 4 cheese pizza
>they added huge blobs of ricotta cheese

Fucking disgusting

>>8095595
>Syrian refugees flee as a direct result of American interference in Syria. Europoors get kebabed instead of us.

There really is a God.

>>8095595
Is that what Europe looks like now?

>>8092556
>order domino's
>get handmade veggie with white garlic sauce and provolone cheese
>it tastes amazing
Sorry about your bad experience senpai

>>8092561
Kek

>order pizza from LC
>pepperoni deepdish stuffed crust
>get a regular stuffed crust
>I didn't even know they could even fucking do regular
>mention wrong order
>they correct it and give me free cheese bread with pepperoni on it

Good time. Now for the bad one:

>Order from Dominoes
>gets here
>It's all burnt as fuck
>complain about it
>they hang up
I still ate it, but Coke and Everclear can only do so much to cover up the taste of burnt food.

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>>8092780
I worked at a calzone shop for a while, and one of our regulars frequently ordered:

-no cheese
-ground beef
-breaded chicken
-extra mushrooms
-sweet & sour sauce
-ketchup
-mayonnaise
-cooked twice

It was fucking awful.

>>8092925
youre on the wrong site kid, try reddit

>>8092512

>win a free pizza from papa johns
>bbq cola sauce drizzled on bbq brisket burnt ends and red onions
>take a bite when it arrives, cola sauce is basically motor oil and brisket is just disgustingly bad, like the burnt bits on a cooking tray.
>throw it away after one slice, cant even just pick off the brisket, the shitty sauce is everywhere.

>>8094163
Nigga what u mean
>$1-1.25
>loaded w cheese, sauce, whatever toppings, and hot
Fuck you, fagland

I've never had a bad pizza experience

>>8095762
>order 4 cheese
Kill yourself
>doesn't know ricotta comes on 4 cheese
Kill yourself
>doesn't like ricotta
Kill. Yourself.

>>8092561
Did you not specify that you needed anchovies

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Orenda's Pizza.

>friend drives me home from high school one day
>offer to buy him a slice
>we go to a place near my house
>it's a Lebanese convenience store/pizza place combo
>walk in through the pizza door
>nobody's there
>guy behind the convenience store corner apparently runs both at once and waves us over
>slurs so much we can't understand a thing he says and then limps/staggers over to the pizza counter
>assume he's drunk on mouthwash
>order two slices of pepperoni pizza
>have a seat while he gets it ready
>the guy takes two slices of pizza out from somewhere and tells us he needs to warm them up
>puts them in the fucking pizza rack meant to keep slices warm for a few minutes
>even then it wasn't even on so he has to start it up
>eventually pay for our shitty, cold pizza
>friend's slice has an inexplicably black slice of pepperoni on it
>throw them out at my place and heat up some Michelina frozen dinners

They've changed their name since then, and now there's a meat shop where it used to be, but the sign is still there for some reason. I'll never forget that.

>>8092556
Anons like this must have an eating disorder. There is no reason to put yourself through that if you can afford to order out. If it's that shit, get rid of it. If you're starving, don't fucking order delivery from a place you don't know about.

>>8097687
>spend $20+ on a single meal
>throw it out

>>8094163
>never had Brooklyn pizza
>go to New York and get to try it
>can only compare it to Finland pizza which has a completely different flavor style, even the bad stuff
>don't like the Brooklyn pizza
>calls it crap cause not what you're used to

glad you share your adventures

>>8092512
fuck i love canned mushrooms on mall pizza
>mall pizza is fucking best pizza

>inb4 whatever your opinion is about mall pizza
>i'm right, fuck you

>>8097697
Sunk cost fallacy. Your money's gone either way and it's just a really uncomfortable experience.

Might as well just throw together some oatmeal or rice or toast and forget about it.

Hell even add something to the pizza, try to save it instead of just eating it in its shitty state.

But to obsessively sit through stuffing your face with 1k+ calories of something that tastes awful seems pointless when tolerable cheap calories are available is pretty unhealthy.

>>8095304
sounds like a good time

>>8097723
That's not how sunk cost fallacy works.

>mushroom stalks
>canned mushrooms
>mushrooms aren't fried beforehand to enhance their flavour

ah yes

>>8097802
That's not how burden of proof works, but in any case, way to completely miss the points of my posts. That's two completely empty responses in a row.

>>8097834
You know anyone can reply to your posts, right?

I'm just saying, sunk costs don't apply to food. You have to eat, you only get to decide what type of food to eat. If you make a mistake, you can't just do something else.

If you bought a watch, then decided it was ugly, you can just not wear it for free.

>>8092512
my worst "pizza" experience

>local pizza place has an opening (it's a nice place not a chain)
>decide to try it out
>go to a practical interview
>never made za before but the chef teaches me
>she has me do dishes for 45 minutes
>says she'll call me the next day
>doesn't ever call me
>they close a month later and i feel like divine justice has been served

>>8095595
this pic makes me hope Resident Evil really does happen

>>8095128
yeah this happens everyday, stores definitely stay open even when every single day they royally fuck up orders left and right

>local pizza place
>check website
>not the best place in town, but the most diverse menu
>they got a pizza of the month, "spicy italian"
>it's got meatballs, italian sausage, linguica, all sorts of shit
>go to the pizza place
>they don't have their "pizza of the month sign up"
>order "Spicy Italian- pizza of the month"
>hispanic lady who doesn't speak english says "okaaaay."
>get back home
>it's pepperoni and jalapenos
>this last Monday

>>8092512

>Order dominoes
>Pizza comes
>I ordered pepperoni
>No pepperoni to be seen
>cheese is greasy and rubbery
>lukewarm
>Attempted suicide later that night

>>8093785
What if we don't live in a city you autistic.fuck? Most of the good places.near me aren't.even on yelp let alone the internet.

>>8098508

My advice is that if you live in the middle of nowhere with no good pizza joints, learn to make your own. It's not terribly difficult. Get yourself a pizza stone and pizza pan, some fresh mozzarella, whatever toppings and ingredients to make the dough. You can also freeze it for quicker use next time around and it will be much tastier than the chain shit.

I was in Cambodia and orderd a Happy Pizza on reccomendation from some Australiens I met. It tastes fine but after eating I felt weird and thought it was just the heat. I went on my way to the trainstaition when I felt funny as shit.

I was really stoned and Passes out at a questionable bar and missed my train to Thailand.

>>8098508
then move to a city

>>8097506
Fucking retard, go back to /r/anime

I tried making a pizza with a honey based sauce. It was really good. For a couple bites. That shit got overwhelming fast. Might have been good with WAY less of it, but as it stands 1/10.

>>8098526
Baking steel is better than baking stone. The thicker the better, as long as your oven rack supports it.

>>8093036
Fucks sake. You could have at least made the story sound believable you retard.

>>8092512
Oh and I forgot to mention. I asked why they used canned mushrooms instead of baking in fresh mushrooms, and the chef said "you should have asked for fresh mushrooms then"

Never going back there.

>order a slice at a local pizza place
>it's lukewarm and tastes like the BAD kind of store-bought Pizza, I swear I've baked this exact brand in my home oven
>check their google reviews
>4.9 stars over 50 reviews
What the fuck?

>>8095304
None of that ever happened and you type like a 11 year old girl.

>>8097957
>za
You deserve it you faggot

i once ordered from pizza hut (i always order from small local pizzerias) and the pizza was alright. ordered the same shit 2 months later and it was undercooked. everything tasted funny, as if the ingredients were expired or some shit. including the bread. i was very hungry so i ate it and it gave me minor food poisoning or some shit. never again. also, pizza hut is probably a few dollars more expensive than the states where i live, so fuck that shit

>small high street chain that advertises itself with a guy in a blue clown outfit with a knight chess piece for a head
>their restaurant seems popular and they are supposed be quite reputable
>decide to order for delivery
>it was 2.5h late
>delivery guy seemed angry at me
>base looked like unkneaded dough, or maybe like someone took a small loaf of bread, soaked it and then let it dry
>what was supposed to be a large pizza was maybe 20cm wide
>tomato sauce covered a 10cm wide circle right in the centre
>had 4 toppings, as in 4 bits of what was listed as toppings

It was so strange that I didn't even bother to complain.

>>8093785
Little Caesar's is good, fuck you.

>>8100092
why are you on this board

>>8100176

You're here for the wrong reasons, loser.

>>8098642
This site was literally made to talk about anime.

>There were fucking hornets in the box
Never again

>>8093785
>trusting the opinions of self-important millennials
You can't trust 5 stars, and you certainly can't trust 1-star either.

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>>8100235
maybe, it is actually you, who is here for the wrong reasons

>order pizza hut
>it gets to my house
>inside the box is just a severed penis

I was pretty miffed

>order pizza
>pizza guy raped my mom

Pizza wasn't bad, we had some while we waited for the police

>ordered domino's
>it was laced with arsenic
>spend 6 months in a medically induced coma
>wake up
>family is broke due to medical bills
>strictly a sbarro's man now

If I owned a pizzeria I wouldn't even offer mushrooms just to fuck with you mushroom faggots.

Anyway,

>order 2 pizzas from the best local pizza place in town
>shit is expensive, almost $60
>kids will only eat hawaiian pizza
>one of the pizzas is hawaiian
>pick up pizzas
>everyone behind the counter that day looked like they were ~16 years old
>walking out door with pizzas
>pizza on bottom starts leaking
>open it up
>an entire #10 can worth of pineapples sits atop the hawaiian pizza
>completely soaked, pineapple juice dripping from all corners of box
>I ask what the fuck to the teenage girl at the register
>she acts like this is normal
>I demand new pizza
>several high schoolers in the back get really pissed about it
>spot one of them clearly spitting on pizza
>demand my money back
>they won't give it
>refuse to leave until I get my money back
>the bartender walks over
>clearly the only person there above 18 years old
>explain the situation
>he refunds my money

seriously fuck teenagers they shouldn't be allowed to work in foodservice.

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>>8092561
Next time make sure you get the anchovies before eating the sausage.

>>8100601
>bartender
>complaining about bar pizza
>kids will only eat hawaiian
>$60
You are the problem here, sir.

>>8100635

whatever dumbass the pizzeria serves fucking beer

you're probably some butthurt high-school mcdonalds employee go fuck yourself

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>>8100601
>paying more than 16 dollars per pizza

I'd kill myself if I were you

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>>8100650

>>8100635
don't most nice places have a bar, and therefore, a "bartender"? it's not as if every place with a bar is just "a bar"

>>8100650
What's life like in Iowa?

>>8100651

hahaha 16 dollars enjoy your shit tier dominos you sad, pathetic, poor fuck

>>8100666
I refuse to take culinary advice from a man who believes Hawaiian pizza is ever acceptable.

The Midwest should be nuked.

>>8100671

Nobody cares what you think, kid. Get over yourself you dumb motherfucker.

>>8100683
>getting buttblasted on 4chan

I'd be mad too if I spent 60 dollars on pizza made in a bar by high schoolers in Indiana or whatever corn farming shithole you're from

>>8100683
Pssshhh...nothing personal, kid

>>8100685
>>8100690

butthurt highschoolers detected

>>8100696
>waaah they didn't like my story about shitty pizza from flyover country

>>8100713

>waaah I'm IRL upset because I'm a teenager and I fucking suck at everything that I do and everybody knows it

>>8092949
Shit opinion right here.

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>>8100601
>hating on mushrooms

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>>8101011
He must not be a very fun guy!

>>8100725
>spending 30 dollars on pizza is a good idea and if you think it's overpriced you must be a high schooler

Jesus, he really is this delusional.

Middle America was a mistake.

>>8094921

Oh I left out a part

The topping were under the cheese

>>8093776
Doesn't matter shrimps can go raw good

>new pizza place
>order ham and pineapple
>literally just a flatbread with tomato puree poured on and tons of grated and melted cheese with absolutely no care in the world + toppings

>new pizza place
>have to swear to Allah that I will uphold islam and only worship the prophet Muhammed (pbuh)
>order pepperoni
>owner loses his mind
>"pork is the tool of the infidel"
>ask him why he sells it
>"it's a trap to catch the unfaithful"
>held captive for six months because the government refuses to negotiate with terrorists
>finally released in daring SEAL raid
>they didn't bring any pizza with them

Still, not as bad as the time I went to Dominoes

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>>8092512
Finish making delicious pizza after long shift at Papa Johns. Free pizza? relax at home? Message girlfriend?
>Lets do eeeeeiiiitt
>Medium size, barbecue sauce, extra cheese, bacon, sausage, chicken, pepperoni, buffalo sauce on top. A couple of cheese dips.
Get home to dad's 27 year old roommates drunk and hungry. I offer them a slice and a dip.
They leave me with one piece and one dip. Girlfriend went to sleep early. Had work again in the morning.

>>8092540
Canned mushrooms are pretty much the worst thing ever.

>>8101625
Kms

>>8092512
i love champignons. quit whining, bitch-nigga.

>several years ago
>friend is renting rooms from a really nice elderly couple
>asks a couple of us over to help rake their leaves in their big-ass yard
>sure why not, help out old people
>go over there, rake leaves, pretty fun actually b/c with friends
>elderly lady offers us some tombstone pizzas she has in the freezer
>turns out they're about 2 years old
>why not, it's frozen pizza, it can't go bad right?
>put pizzas in oven
>they start curling up at the edges
>???
>take them to friend's room to eat them
>if you thought frozen pizza was bad, believe me, 2-year-old frozen pizza is worse
>we attempt to eat it anyway because we're p hungry
>give up after a few bites as the taste of the pizza saps our will to live
>we all quietly slip out back door and go to mexican place

>>8101857
No, I'm white.