What's the absolute drunkest you have ever been?

>>8063905

I was on a 3 day bender and woke up strapped to a hospital bed with no recollection how I got there. I had 5 grams of weed on me and they didn't even call the cops and just toom 4 and left one in my pocket, in the morning they had med students and a doctor in the room and the doctor told them that I overdosed on Marijuana... I honestly laughed through the whole thing because the doctor who spoke to me asked me what was in those bags because he thought it was synthetic "marijuana" I laughed and asked what kind of doctor doesn't know what weed looks like... He said that they don't teach them that kind of stuff. Pretty much lost all hope for doctors in my country because it was one of the biggest hospitals in the country that's also responsible for educating med students from all over Europe.

irl I can't really go into the details about it but Im anonymous enough here that I can say I committed a crime to which I may possibly serve jail time.

pants off drunk

>>8063957
how does that happen?

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>>8063905
i shit the bed

>>8063985
Yeah, this. I've never shit myself, but I'd say the lowest of my lows were the two times I pissed the bed. Also the two other times that I pissed in the kitchen, right on the floor. Guess I thought I was in the bathroom.

>>8063905
>absolute drunkest you have ever been?

Drank a liter of decent vodka a long time ago. Awful experience. Lurching around, eventually started barfing, barfed and barfed and barfed until there was nothing left to barf, then I learned what DRY HEAVES are. Woke up the next day listening to a classical station with some fucking virtuoso harmonica player. Remarkable and weird. Had a friend coming over, so I eventually pulled myself together. Never again. I like to drink, but if the room begins to spin, you've gone too far. If you're vomiting, you've gone WAY too far. Alcohol is a demon you need to keep on a short leash.

>>8063991
Many of my drunken nights have ended with me puking in, and off of my bed. I have a loft bed. Both times I had to clean it up while wasted. Good times.

I took the screen off my window and pissed out the window for some reason
which doesnt make a ton of sense since my room is like 10 feet from the bathroom

My pants were down to piss but the vomit got to me first, so I kneeled down in front of the toilet and the force of my projectile heaves apparently pushed against my full bladder and I pissed all over the floor. Like an inch of standing urine, my shoes were wet when I stood up

This was at a friend's house and I have no memory of cleaning it up. They've never mentioned it to me so I'm hoping I did but who knows

Drinked 2,5 bottles of rum around 4 pm in less than 1 hour, wake up in my house the other day at 6 pm.

4 x 750mL of vodka over 5 or 6 days. I had been drinking most days a week for about 6 years. But, I was also only 115 lbs@ 5'6", so, tolerance didn't make up THAT much for being a small dude.

By the last fifth I would usually only wake up, still VERY drunk, chug gatorade while eating some frozen meal, and start drinking half-shots chased with ice water, and keep that up for maybe 2 hours before I'd blackout and presumably pass out again.

That was the first time the hangover (which is already mini-withdrawal) went into a territory I'd actually call full-blown alcohol withdrawal. Tremors, couldn't keep water down for long (though some must have absorbed), cramps so bad I couldn't open my clenched fist or jaw half the time, puked and shat blood, etc. Probably also lasted 5 or 6 days.

>>8063905
Drank a whole bunch of Newcastle as a kid and woke up in my own vomit in my room. Apparently I drove myself home. Vomit smelled like it.
Haven't been blackout drunk since.

It's a tie between being handcuffed to a friend and trying to cut my hand off with a knife in order to get out of it; being thrown out of a bar for "trying to summon satan"; or attending the majority of a friend's birthday party in nothing but a bathrobe.

>>8064040
>5'6",
when will you learn

>>8064112
no bully pls

>>8064112
>when will you learn

Learn what?

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>>8064040
I've been sober for six months and this is the kind thing I remind myself of every time I even think about drinking. The withdrawals are so fucking bad and I did that to myself so many fucking times. Just calling in to work and spending the week shaking, sweating, hallucinating, immobile, etc.

Fuck that.

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I haven't been seriously drunk before, but one time I took 8 xans in junior year of high school and blacked out for like 5 hours. I woke up lying on the floor in my friend's kitchen.

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>>8063905
Was working on rooftops in newyork for Sprint friends met in williamsburg gave me a hip flask said start drinking at 2pm they picked me up after i finished the next roof in manhattan we drank from 430 to like 10 blacked out. Woke up in california with one of them on a roof doing my job. Apparently I got an email about a new contract in cali one of them had skymiles and work paid for hotels. I was told we flew first class drinking vodka and redbull landed in time to get to one of the places and thanks to food delivery and uber we got enough water and protein to sober up and get the field work done.

I lost consciousness on one coastline and regained consciousness on another one. According to friend I was just as charming and funny even if I was slurring my words "jusss a lil bid" I blacked out straight up and remember nothing after like 930pm. Based on the story corroborated by 4 he asked me what I was supposed to do and took care of the details since he was always a lightweight. Got me to do whatever i needed to do in california via muscle memory while he checked in rental cars and shit. I remember eating waffles with an entire goddamn chicken fried. Like we roscoes or something it was not an 8 piece it was a whole chicken deep fried and like 3 belgian waffles between us. The paper work was a bitch that evening but apparently we were hollering at every lady on the red eye and the sky waiter just kept bringing us more vodka and redbull since I was "spinning the dopest of yarns."

I miss that job.

>fall in with a group of randos and end up clubbing in an unfamiliar part of town
>kicked out of nightclub for dual fisting drinks
>call uber but too drunk to find him so just get in a cab without cancelling the ride and turn my phone off when he phones again
>tell driver my destination and promptly pass out
>fading in and out of consciousness while trying to give the driver directions (telling him to turn left even though I have no idea where I am)
>don't remember getting out of the cab or going up to my apartment but wake up in the morning fully clothed on top of the blankets with a $75 cab fare on my credit card

>>8064107
you sound like jim fucking lahey

>>8064172
I don't know who that is but I will say that I'm never uneventfully drunk.

Ran back and Belly flopped and destroyed two beer pong tables along with my zune rip and broke part of my tooth. Had no idea and took my zune to best buy and was told the extra warranty did not cover that.

Never buy warranties for electronics is what I learned.

>>8063905
What's the absolute drunkest you have ever been?

If you actually remember it, then you're already wrong.

>>8064248
lol'd

Trying to get a ride from a k9 unit in korea

>>8063905
Almost died from alcohol poisoning.

>>8064352
how much did you drink?

They hold a big parade/float contest during Laotian New Year in Dallas and they pass out shots of Hennessey and Martells like crazy, all the beer is free and old grandmas are passing out blunts to every body as we walk four blocks around this Laotian temple. I was slammed after only two blocks of walking the parade route (which took about an hour) and I passed out as soon as we were done with the fourth (and final) block. Woke up about 45 minutes later ate some pho and I felt just fine, so I drank a bunch more and eventually completely blacked out. Woke up back home 90 miles away the next morning, girlfriend drove us back home without a license half drunk. Was fun as fuck and would do it all over again.

I drank a bottle of tequila and ended up at the beach the next morning. It's 100 km away and I have no idea how I got there. According to my friends one of them dropped me near my home on the way to his own home, so I must've wandered off.

My wallet and phone and everything were still on my person and I didn't seem to be hurt, just tired.

I had to call a friend to pick me up. I've never drank tequila since.

I've never blacked out but I did have a 2 day hangover

>>8063905
I'll slew a few horrible nights

>get arrested waiting for my ride cuz I don't wanna drink and drive, get thrown in detention center where they steal my thousand dollars I was carrying and took my phone, then released me in a part of a desert I didn't know where I was, took an entire day finding my way back home
>girl runs off from party crying, i'm drunk and follow her, she runs down the highway, i follow her and every guy tries picking her up, almost get beat up at one point, i call cops drunk but my phone turned off that day (thank you)
>get a VIP party at a strip club, invite all my drinking pals, I knock out, end up outside, everyone is gone, me and one guy hike it back home
>the multiple times I missed work and almost got fired
>the times I went into work drunk and DID get fired
>got into a physical fight protecting a co-worker and the manager destroys my glasses and become blind and run away, which he chases after me in a car
>friend kicks me out of his apartment whom I lived with, spend all night and all day trying to find a place to stay

Yeah, drunk as fuck every time and every time I had consequences.
I still do stupid shit, but I restrain myself now cuz I hate dealing with all that bullshit.

>>8063905
.285 BA. I remember I couldn't even understand what I was saying. So that means I wasn't even making intelligible sounds.

I woke up not knowing why i am naked, why i am shivering, not knowing why i hurt so fucking much, not knowing why my conforter and rug is gon(i puked on it) and not knowing why i am vommitting. I drank a ton the night before and woke up in the most agonizing pain you can imagine.

>get drunk
>get into fight
>go home
>fuck some 6/10
>drink some more

drank a bottle of kraken rum, half a bottle of captain morgans private stock, and a couple of beers. had a friend put his fingers down my throat to purge myself. woke up the next day finding my laptop covered in piss...jesus...

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>>8063905
I pulled a gun on a neighbor (thank God he was a good guy and didn't press charges) after drinking a bottle of 151 rum, a portion of Cold War era German gin I had saved for many years, and unknown number of glasses of heavy port wine. I weigh 160 @ 6' and had a BAL of .65. It took me 22 hours to hit baseline before being sent up to a mental facility for 2 weeks. I can honestly say that I drank myself sober: There was no hangover and I remember everything. The EMT's face is still surprisingly clear in my mind when he said the BAL %. The fact I didn't die or go into a coma has driven me to try and make something of myself since then; those were demon days.

Was just a few days ago. Decided to drink nearly a liter vodka and spent the night puking on myself in the shower for nearly 2 hours.

>>8063952
Oh you're the guy who hit a little girl and cried about it in the alc thread. Fuck off

>>8064164
Wow. How many days? You were just blacked out and kept it up enough for a plane ride, etc?

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>go to minor league baseball game with suite tickets that let me get $3 beer all night
>drink a tall boy in parking lot
>drink one 12 oz tecate light before game starts
>drink one 12 oz tecate light in the third inning but chug it very fast since I was chilling with a friends bachelor party
>realize I drank the beer way too fast and feel that buzzing in your stomach before you puke, held my beer though
>knock over beer when I was getting my camera
thats when a security fag came over and said i was showing signs of being buzzed and they had to cut me off for safety. Sort of embarrassing but there was still another two hours of game play that I used to sober up during

>>8064381
are you a gook or just some guy near the festival

I've got the Korean alcohol allergy so I've never been drunk.
If I drink, I throw up and get hungover instantly.

>>8064410
>carrying 1k in cash on you
why.jpg

Drank nearly a 750ml bottle of vodka over 4 hours time the first time I got drunk. Blacked out and vomited everywhere.

I was 18 and an alcoholic. At an open bar for the first time. I drank a lot and mixed just about every alcohol you could think of. Beer, vodka, gin, whiskey, rum, etc. Anything that people would put in front of me. Plus marijuanas.

Worst experience of my life.

>>8063952
hope you get drawn and quartered

>>8063952
rip in piece sweet angel

>>8063952
You the guy who hit his law professor with his car after "accidentally" texting him death threats?

>>8063999
This sounds eerily familiar, except my fiancee had to be by my side all night as I shaked and muttered to myself in bed until I passed out. I had a similar experience with a particularly strong pot brownie. It had me crying and ranting mad lunacy all night. I had to call off work for two days after it.

This happened last Monday and is a true story.

I had a flu over the weekend but dragged my ass to work Monday morning. I lasted about 30 mins because I felt like shit and was infecting my co-workers. I jumped on the bus and went to a local mall.

When I got there, I waited for the liquor store to open at 9am. I purchased a 700ml bottle of bourbon, then walked to my nearest burger king, sat there and drank about 3/4 of it over about 2 hours.

Next I went back to the mall and found some random old guy who I got into a conversation with about life and other shit, this lasted about 2 hours. I got annoyed and left.

I then went and bought another bottle of bourbon (this was about 11.30am) and went back to BK to sip some more free refills

About 12.50pm I went to mcdonalds just outside the mall. Now I don't remember going here, I found out the next day by looking at my debit card statement.

I stayed at mcdonalds until about 2.30pm when my wife called asking where I was, since earlier in the day I had told her my boss sent me home because I was sick (she was at work too).

She was at home already, I was fucked. Why wasn't I at home? Oh shit. Better get the bus.

I got home around 4pm, 1 litre of bourbon later. I smuggled the rest inside and I don't know what really happened after that.

I was told the next day that I had a shower and when finished I walked straight out into the living room, naked, in front of my mother in law who was visiting

I am a complete failure and I hope it never happens again. The morning was fun but I've told you everything else I remember.

I'm also covered in bruises head to toe. I could have fallen over and gone into a coma or fucked myself up bad.

Anyway I don't really enjoy drinking since that happened but no doubt I will drink again one day

I don't remember how I got the bruises either. It's been a week and they're still on my body in all sorts of places

I must have fallen over heaps. The funniest shit is that I was wearing business attire as I work in am office. Imagine all the normies doing their weekday grocery shopping seeing me falling over and bashing into doorways at 10am

I am a loser

Thanks for listening ck

>>8063905
Its really hard for me to get super-drunk, mostly because usually I eat food when drinking and also drink a lot of water during. However.. when I do get drunk I get super rapey. I think the worst one was at a party in an apartment I used to rent with friends. One of the girls got wasted on alcohol and weed and threw up, so we got her to rest on my bed until she feels better. When the party ended I went to sleep on my bed and exchanged a few words with her to see if she was okay. Then I got super horny and started groping her boobs and trying to finger her. She resisted and I gave up, but she didnt even bother to leave and we still slept in the same bed. Felt guilty for a few days but now I just find it funny.

>>8064689
Another time I went to a party with this girl I just met a few days ago. There werent a lot of people so we ended up on the balcony and made out, at this point I didnt really care much about consequences and pulled her pants out exposing her butt, lifted her shirt above her tits, bent her over the balcony and fingered her some. Im pretty sure the people passing below saw is since it was the first or second floor

>>8064689
Your a fucked person.

>>8064697
It wasnt a good deed but I dont feel particularly bad. By that point she was sober and she could have left at any moment but chose not to.

At a party at my Mum's. Challenged my 6'2" rugby player cousin to a wrestle and got bodyslammed. My Mum's 50yr old friend said she was Jewish so I started ripping on Israel. She started yelling "ANTI-SEMITE!" and pointing at me. I think her son is in the IDF or something. I may have then gone full /pol/ at her for a laugh. Then I think I was dancing with her outside and tried to get off with her. I may have had sex with her in my parent's bathroom.

I gatecrashed a party and pretended I was an alien inhabiting a human body. Drank all their booze and smoked all their cigarettes. Then I jumped out of a first floor window, did a forward somersault in the garden and ran away.

Found myself running down the street trying to get to a club before it closed so I could meet a girl. I figured I looked a bit crazy so to save face I pretended I was an undercover cop and started yelling about "suspects on the move" into a "hidden mic" in my collar. While running with a pint in my hand.

Shat the bed. Pissed the bed a bunch of times.

Woke up in vomit more times than I can count, often in nightclubs or at a friend's house. Woke up completely naked on a friend's toilet, piss-soaked clothes in another room. Woke up covered in blood a few times. That's scary. Always my own blood though. Apparently one time I hit myself in the head with half a brick and knocked myself out. I still have the scar.

Woke up flat broke more times than I can count.

I'm currently 4 weeks sober.

>>8064707
>My Mum's 50yr old friend said she was Jewish so I started ripping on Israel. She started yelling "ANTI-SEMITE!" and pointing at me. I think her son is in the IDF or something. I may have then gone full /pol/ at her for a laugh. Then I think I was dancing with her outside and tried to get off with her. I may have had sex with her in my parent's bathroom.
that would be pretty hot if she wasnt 50 years old

>>8064707
>Apparently one time I hit myself in the head with half a brick and knocked myself out.
That must've looked real funny

As I was cycling (rather, swerving) home after a whole night of drinking, an obstacle got in my way and I was launched off my bike. I lost three teeth, broke one hand and almost broke another. I was almost home damnit!

My front wheel was damaged, so I had to walk home. Hospitals and night dentist were too far away for walking, I was drunk, and I had no money for a taxi, so I waited for the bleeding in my mouth to stop, and then slept. Went to dentist and hospital with public transport the next morning.

My new teeth are better than my real ones. Only expensive as fuck. I'm also happy I didn't break both hands. That would be inconvenient, and wiping my ass would be a chore.

Another time I drank all evening and night at home with friends the day before christmas. I woke up hung over and vomiting violently. I couldn't even hold water, and this went on until the evening, so I had to cancel christmas dinner with my father (told him I was sick). This was quite a low point.

>>8064687
completely normal to see in japan

only ever drank and been drunk two times never plan on doing it again. second time was a few months ago i drank almost 750ml of rum. i turned GTA san andreas on and started yelling the rap songs on the radio stations. i remember calling family members and harassing them for a while. somewhere yelling at rap songs i blacked out and came to sitting on the toilet shitting and puking into a broken garbage can and all over the floor. i somehow managed to get the mop and fill the mop bucket with water to mop my puke up because i didnt want everyone to come home to puke on the floor. after that i blacked out again (hopefully i had pants on because i was mopping right after shitting) and woke up in my bed don't know if someone put me there or i put myself there. never touching disgusting alcohol again i hate throwing up and i can't control myself.

>>8063943
Dude WEED lmFao bro why don't doctors know about WEED bor don't they know WEED cures cancer rob?

>>8064697
people do far worse than that m8, not condoning it though

>>8064593
Mind going into detail?

>>8064361
Fifth in an hour. Not him but was in ICU on ventilator.

>>8064394
Wew

>>8064427
.56 is my record. Should be dead.

Got PCed when i was like 17 after an almon brothers concert.

I was too drunk to piss in mcdonalds, so I went into the woods. like 1/2 a foot into the woods.

Cops grabbed me quickly, but I never gave up my bros who were equally as shitfaced and driving with weight.

>>8063905
I'm 35 and have never even had a beer before

>>8064545
You have a problem buddy

Drinking whiskey with friends
Decide to leave with my bike
Fall in the grass next to the road
Wake up 4hours later with the bike still between my legs

I got someore but I never didbreally stupid things or harmed others just silly things

>>8064785
You should drink a beer so you don't repeat that embarrassing shit in public like you're proud of it.

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>>8063905
last new year was pretty bad


>drank a fifth and a half of vodka
>hit a parked car doing 30+ on my ATV
>spent the night in the hospital getting tasty activated charcoal and my broken color bone and left arm fixed up
>worst hangover then you can possibly imagine
>arrested after being released from the hospital for drunk driving and property damage


>what i was drinking that night

>>8064785
What's your story? Muslim? Mormon? Bad experience with drunk friend or family?

There was a study done on a tribe of little monkeys at a tropical holiday resort. They had regular easy access to alcohol as a result of them hanging around an open air bar and people leaving drinks unattended.

The researchers discovered that the tribe of monkeys had the same proportions of teetotalers, moderate drinkers and binge drinkers as human societies that have alcohol. Weirdly, the handful of binge drinking monkeys were acknowledged by the other monkeys as the alphas of the group.

Found a link:
https://www.theguardian.com/science/punctuated-equilibrium/2011/apr/26/1

>>8064812
to be fair this is what you get for having bad taste in vodka

The first time I ever got drunk, I wandered around the host's house talking about Death Grips and explaining the chemical reactions in our bodies when we get drunk. I was then promptly sick and carried home by 3 friends, where I was sick two more times.

Pretty mild by many people's standards, but I'm off to uni soon, and I know that my alcoholism will get much worse when I'm not living at home.

Like jesus christ, selling a bottle of wine for £3.50 should be a crime. And when I went on holiday in france, you could get a litre of wine in a plastic bottle for two euros.

>>8064107
So, Deadpool style, Constantine style and... Got nothing for that third one.

>>8064248
Fucking ripoff. Sue those cunts.

>>8064826
Not that anon but Russian Standard isn't that bad. In the same price range I reckon Stoli is better, but Absolut is worse.

>>8064682
The bruises are from your mother in law. She likes it rough.

>freshman year college
>black out at party
>wake up in dorm naked
apparently the party got raided and i started throwing up everywhere continuously on the way to the car, throwing up on the car ride, threw up and pissed outside dorm, passed out in bathroom locked with pants down in pool of vomit, hallmates (girls) climbed over door to unlock and drag me out and put me in bed

dont go to college

Not the drunkest ive been but probably my most embarrassing experence decided to case race some friends while i had a litre bottle of gin and they had a 30 rack of beers. Ended up puking in there toilet which then i clogged. I locked myself in the bathroom and passed out woke up woth soaking wet pants then after investagating found out thwy werw covered in puke and a friend had to carry me into my house while i was covered in piss vomit water...good times

>>8064785
I'm 23. Had some champagne at the party at the end of 8th grade (didn't like it), had teaspoons of wine at communion, might've tasted beer as a kid.

Not Christian anymore, but I still don't drink. Probably because I don't go out with friends and because I don't feel like starting.

My big sister drinks, but I heard no interesting drunk stories from her.

>>8064730
Are you a weeb?
I'm interested to know why people do that in japan

>>8064864
no alcohol tastes good, you dont drink it for the taste - just for gettin whacky with pals. then you drink it for the taste once its acquired

>>8064855
No. She doesn't even speak English

>>8064868
I'd be inclined to agree, but lager like Sol is pretty yummy lad

Not sure if it's to do with America, or just the people on this site, but I always find myself surprised by people's attitude to alcohol. Hear in Bongladesh, it isn't uncommon to go out drinking several nights a week, or to drink so much you vomit. Yet I always see people here talking about one time they drank a fifth of vodka or another isolated time they got alcohol poisoning or have no recollection of the evening. I can't even recall the number of times I've sat with my friends in the morning, collaboratively piecing together the events of the evening from the small amounts each of us can remember. Most people tend to drink a fair bit before they go out too, i.e. 6 units or more.

First time I got super wasted

>drinking glass after glass of Crème de menthe, beers, vodka and shit
>start arguing with some dude from my class about nothing, he's half german half asian or something so he's pretty tanned
>get super pissed and call him a nigger nazi in front of a bunch of people
>luckily he's also too wasted to give a shit
>try to throw a full can of cider through a glass door for some reason, don't break it
>black out and go sit in the middle of the road outside the house at like 3am
>somehow get home

Couple of weeks ago
>barely ate all day
>black out after 5 or 6 pints of cider
>start talking to some old fuck about how everything must have been better in his day
>bar locks up and start lighting up cigarettes inside
>go full /pol/ and start ranting to my mate and the barman about Trump even though I'm in Ireland so who gives a fuck?
>spit across the bar and land it in the sink, barman is disgusted
>kick parked cars on the way home, pass out beside an ATM
>wake up the next day still drunk as fuck with almost no recollection of any of this
>keep drinking all day
>puke blood that night

I've only drank once since then.

>>8063905
In Ireland, on a work trip. We all went out for drinks on my last evening; I wasn't in the mood, but for some reason decided to start drinking whiskey.

I eventually found myself outside of my hotel at 5:00am drinking yet more whiskey with a trauma surgeon (there was a conference at the hotel). I had to be up at 7am for my flight home.

Thank fuck my co-worker was driving, but he had to stop the car every half hour so I could vomit at the side of the road.

That ended up being a two day hangover. How the fuck I didn't die I don't know.

I don't drink Whiskey when I'm out, now.

I'm from regional Australia so when my friends and I were drinking together it was often in a field or out of the way so nothing too bad would really happen.

Recently I went out drinking with friends for one of their birthday's and got completely hammered, we then went back to that friends place and drank more. I don't remember falling asleep or even the topic of sleeping being a thing so I have no idea how long I was kicking on. Wake up a couple of hours later still drink and now wet. Realize I must have pissed myself and got the fuck out without thinking. It's been a couple of weeks and I still feel really bad about it, I was sick for three days though.

The most fucked I've probably been was when I first moved to the city with friends. We had a house warming and I drank 1-2 litres of vermouth, put a psychedelic in my mouth and then proceed to drink until the sun rose. At that point I was going to bed but wanted a night cap so I started swigging a friends ~60% straight until I fell off the seat I was on and fell asleep. I woke up a couple of hours later having used my pile of puke and the cold tile floor (that I'd obviously vomited in my sleep) as a pillow. May hair was dripping wet with it, which was a bit much.


Honestly, it's making me sad seeing my friends drink heavily less often. Hangovers really start to rear their horns at 23 I guess.

>>8064150
>that extra arm coming out of the ear
sides in heaven.

>>8063905
very

Woke up in the spare room of my dad's house once with no recollection of how I got there or what happened the night before. Had bruised legs and a stamp on my hand from a club I'd never heard of, I could vaguely remember puking at one point but that was it. Turns out I got split up from my friends, was stumbling around by myself completely wasted, and got picked up by some charity workers who called my dad and got him to pick me up at like 4am

>>8064040
Fuck man, I've been there. Drank an entire liter of sailor jerry over the course of the night a couple months back. Hadn't drank much for a couple weeks before that, so I lost my tolerance with realizing.

Woke up the next day at 6pm, half naked in bed, and still drunk. Scrapes, bruises, cuts and soreness I couldn't explain. Piss in my cup. Sick, dehydrated, and staving.

I realized that I hadn't consumed any thing but rum and coke for 24 hours. So I stumbled downstairs, grab some dry toast and water. Promptly puke it up. After about an hour or two of cold sweats, shivering, dry heaves, dizziness, and general misery, I decided that consiousness is no place for me so I crawled back to bed to ride it out.

>>8063959
i can't remember

>>8064827
You sound irritating

>was dishwasher at the time
>like at a lot of restaurants the staff were alcohols
>start drinking after the saturday shift
>what is usually a 2-3 beer thing turns into a drunkfest with shots
>keep drinking and smoking
>lead waiter trying to teach me how to make amaretto sour but way too fucked up to even understand what's going on
>don't remember much of what happened but some gay shit was involved
>suddenly it's 8 am
>eventually get out and take subway home
>people look at me like I'm some sort of zombie
>actually can't feel my face
>go to bed
>wake up at 5

Drank 4 litres of port around 56 standard drinks. Woke up under my old man's jeep with my arm covered in greasy oil. Apparently I had been fisting the bottom of the engine bay in my sleep

>>8064826
The Dude

>>8064279
What if people told you what happened?

>>8063905
was still pretty clear headed but on the walk home about two blocks from home my legs just flat out refused to do what I told them to. ended up weaving back and forth and going frontwards then backwards. took me like thirty minutes to go two blocks

I'm not the kind of person that gets drunk, I usually drink with my friends until I'm buzzed but never past that. Two years ago I tried tequila for the first time, had too many shots and I don't remember anything past that. Woke up in my bed with a concussion. According to my friend, I started touching my friend all over her body and tried to hump her leg, fell on the floor a lot, ran against a wall and hit my head, talked in a foreign language, and overall I was being pretty annoying. Never got drunk again.

Bar crawling around Philly with four friends for a few hours. End of the night we ended up picking up two other people and tried to stagger back. Benched one of them but the others I forced to hold my hand while crossing the streets(as hammered I was I was used to it, they weren't and kept walking into traffic as if in a trance). Forced them to keep holding my hands because I was sick of stopping every minute to corral them. Went home with friends and this random ass person, gave them water and tucked them in saying I would beat the ever loving shit out of them if they moved because they were too drunk. I pissed on a plant and since there was o my one bed, I passed out between stranger and friend #2.

Woke up with scared and confused people because of stranger(he was very nice but most of us at been sleeping on top of each other) and them telling me while I did a good job of the traffic thing that I also wouldn't stop trying to rock them to bed and said I was briefly in a fight with some other random guy for yelling at my 'baby 'friends' ' on the street but I don't remember that part.

I babysit here and there despite being an adult male but damn. I've woken up on my lawn and stuff but I never do anything crazy. Even at my drunkest I'm just mother henning.

I completely blacked out then had a dream about playing paintball on go-karts with my friends.

When I woke up I was being raped by a clown.

>>8066330
>When I woke up I was being raped by a clown
I'm gonna need you to expand on that

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>>8063905
true to life alcohol poisoning

woke up in my own vomit as well as having shit my pants .... hangover stayed with me till I went back to bed nearly 20 hours later

>>8063991
I once pissed in a (full) clothes hamper while sleepwalking when I was younger.

My mom asked me what I was doing and I yelled back "I'm not done yet"

I've don't get ridiculously drunk but there was one time where I had a few drinks and was walking home from the pub when I got the urge to get KFC. I only had loose change so withdrew £10 in cash and bought some. When I got home I fell asleep and woke up the next morning with the cold chicken still in the bag on my desk. I went to check on my shoes to see if I had stepped in dog shit (paranoid about that) and went to get my phone from my coat pocket. The £10 was still in there.

I can't have walked out without paying but I genuinely don't know what happened.

>>8064391
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QTYID4lXhM0

>>8063905
Two 0,75L bottles of vodka, bombed speed inbetween to stay awake and it suppressed the drunkenness quite a bit, I was still able to hold conversations and I can remember quite a lot of it. It was nearly impossible to walk tho. It was by far the drunkest I ever was, but by no means the most wasted, even in terms of alcohol.

>>8063905
Black out drunk a few times. Nothing interesting happened. I just found a couch or chair and quietly passed out without bothering anyone. If I drink too much at a restaurant, I just take a nap for a couple hours in the car.

My theory is that only jerks and idiots do stupid shit when they're drunk.

>>8066634
When you've got nothing to lose and kinda lost the fear of death you will find yourself drinking to your limit quite often and you will experience a lot of weird things along the way.

I was on my way back from a party once, then there is a gap in my memory and the next thing I know is I'm walking on the side of a highway in the middle of the night and oncoming traffic shoots past me.
Gladly I was able to call someone to pick me up.

I also woke up in a strangers bathroom far away from home once and just left. To this day I don't know whos bathroom it was or how I got there, I just know that the last text conversation I had was me asking a friend where Abraham Lincoln is burried and that it was important and I'd explain it tomorrow.

Tons of shit like that happened to me.

>>8064868
Well im doing it wrong then. Only drink a bit, first one was after 21, and mostly drink for taste.

Oh well, these stories are still fun to read, would never get half as drunk as any of them, and that's fine.

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>>8063905
>be skinny manlet in freshman year of college
>go over to female friend's apartment to hang
>one of her roommates want to drink and asks if I want to drink with her
>accept and we both get hammered
>a few hours pass and the roommate and I go to her bed
>she tells me she doesn't want to hook up and I said that it was cool because I'm not an asshole
>fall asleep for a couple hours
>wake up horny as hell and get the idea to grope her in her sleep
>after about 20 min of titty touching she rolls over and says that she was awake
>shit my pants about how I am gonna get arrested for sexual assault
>turns out she was into it and ends up giving me the worst handjob ever
>certainly not my worst night

going into freshman year of highschool
>chugged a 1 and 3/4 water bottles of vodka
>ran full speed into a parked car and dented the fuck out of the door
>ripped about a dozen mirrors off of cars with my bare hands
>broke into a church and took nothing
>went into a hospital and somehow ended up with a dirty ass Oakley hat
>locked myself in a dunkin donuts truck and kicked the windshield out to escape
>chugged a half gallon of orange juice
>made a bowl of cereal with iced tea instead of milk
>threw up in the bowl halfway through but continued eating it
>fell asleep under the table of someone I just met that day covered in blood with my clothes torn
>amazingly didn't get arrested, all of this happened on a major street in my neighborhood with tons of witnesses

>>8067575
Guess we have differing definitions of what an asshole is.

>when first started becoming an alchy
>sittin in bed world is spinning
>feel it about to come up
>run/stumble to bathroom
>immediately projectile vomit all over the tile floor splashing it on everything
>try cleaning it up with paper towels
>flush paper towels, toilet backs up
>toilet vomit piss water going everywhere
>slip in it and come down with my ribs hitting the toilet bowl breaking a couple and my head bouncing off the tile
>just lay in toilet vomit piss water thinking "fuck this is my place now" and woke up laying there the next day

i was an alcoholic pizza delivery driver for about 2 years. i got into all sorts of shenanigans with that job. i was drunk out of my mind on it every single day, sometimes completely blacked out. i have no idea how i never got in a crash. i did get a dui and got fired though. no more drinking and driving for me. even one dui will fuck your life up for a year or two.

>>8063905
I don't remember

>>8066583
>Two 0,75L bottles of vodka, bombed speed inbetween to stay awake

When I first turned 21, I was still being prescribed Dexedrine (dextroamphetamine, to those unfamiliar, a favorite of Nixon, Elvis, Johnny Cash, and housewives everywhere) and would mix it with vodka. It kept me awake and slightly more alert before I blacked out, but, if I blacked out it meant I would be more active and a bigger danger to myself for longer. Never hurt anyone else. But, I'm surprised I never woke up with cuts or bruises.

Also both amps and alcohol make me want to smoke even though I wasn't a regular smoker, so, I woke up with an empty pack of American Spirits and a sore throat a couple times.

>>8066673
>When you've got nothing to lose and kinda lost the fear of death you will find yourself drinking to your limit quite often and you will experience a lot of weird things along the way.
>I was on my way back from a party once, then there is a gap in my memory and the next thing I know is I'm walking on the side of a highway in the middle of the night and oncoming traffic shoots past me.
>Gladly I was able to call someone to pick me up.

Holy shit. I have almost this exact same story. Only, I lost consciousness while at the party. No one claims to know how I got to the other side of town. I showed no signs of being sexually assaulted (nothing was sore or sticky), I had all my money in my wallet, my keys, and phone. Still a mystery.

Did the person who picked you up suggest breakfast? We went to Denny's and I really needed that to center myself a bit.

Knocked myself out on too much ethanol + tonic coctails, puked in my sleep all over my fancy bed, never again.

I was so drunk that in the emergency room, the doctors told my family they should prepare themselves for my death.

>>8067854
are you me? i deliver pizzas drunk all the time but haven't gotten caught

>>8064734
Kill yourself you idiot fuck

>>8067577
>freshman year of high school
you are a troubled individual

>>8069035
I was a dirtbag back then

Dunno, most of the nights are just tales from people since I couldn't recall any of it. I just know that i've woken up in many strange places (bushes in people's backyard, on cars, in places kilometers from where I was drinking with no recollection, etc..)

Russian friend convinced me to do shots of Barenjager on my birthday after a night of drinking. I managed to hold things together until the guests left and then blacked out. Remember puking in the toilet at one point. Woke up to a clean apartment. Thanked the roommate for cleaning up, but he said I had done it. Apparently I was up until 3 AM, blind drunk, cleaning the apartment and bathroom before taking off all my clothes and falling asleep in bed naked.

I've honestly never really blacked out. Thrown up a few times, had a few bad hangovers, nothing other than that.

>>8064667
holy fuck I wish my tolerance was like that. The trick is when you're too high is just to take a nap though.

I don't remember, I was that drunk

>>8068513
Mixing alcohol and amps is pretty much always hell, and that comedown, fuck

>>8068526
He was pretty pissed and lectured me, he thought I was on a suicide mission tho.I was just genuinely lost. I totally deserved it, I was still kinda pissed tho.

>>8063905
About 17.

i never was really drunk.

the most i've drank once was 4 ouzos in 10 min. felt a bit dizzy but nothing else. don't get what people like about it.

I've never thrown up from drinking
On various nights I've had:
>4/5 a bottle of 151 rum
>bit more than half a bottle of jim beam + beers
>bottle and a half of wine + beers
>some dozen cocktails/shots + beers
and I've just never gotten sick. At some point I just konk out and turn on auto-pilot and find a chair or something to sleep on
I've been told I'll even drink a glass of water, brush my teeth and use the toilet while mumbling incomprehensibly before going to bed

Kind of wish I did get sick though, 'cause that just means I filter the full amount of that shit through my body

>>8069454
>never actually experienced it
>don't get what people like about it.

>>8069499
tough guy huh?

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I think I was 13-14 or so years old at the time. It was the first time I had been blackout drunk, but I remember little snippets of the night which give me a general sense of what went on. My mum also told me a lot of what happened and what I had said.

I was lying on the floor puking my guts out after a day of drinking vodka, my sister found me in this state. She put me to bed and called my Mum and Dad over. They started questioning me as to why I drank so much, which was when I began ranting and screaming about how badly I wanted to kill myself and how much I hated the world. An ambulance was called because nobody really knew how much I had drank, including myself. Basically, the paramedic laughed about the whole thing and went on his way. Then I fell asleep and woke up quite early in the morning, thirsty as hell. Drank some water and started puking my guts out a little more.

I may never forgive my family for the way they all reacted to the whole thing. I was treated like a retarded mental patient after the incident and I became even more alienated from society, my own family, and myself. They coaxed me in my inebriated state to tell all the dark little secrets that pretty much every cynical teenage boy has at that age. It hurt that they knew certain things about me which I would have rather kept bottled up.

Afterwards, I swore off the drink for good. But I was back to my old ways within a couple months.

>>8064707
>>8064707
>At a party at my Mum's. Challenged my 6'2" rugby player cousin to a wrestle and got bodyslammed. My Mum's 50yr old friend said she was Jewish so I started ripping on Israel. She started yelling "ANTI-SEMITE!" and pointing at me. I think her son is in the IDF or something. I may have then gone full /pol/ at her for a laugh. Then I think I was dancing with her outside and tried to get off with her. I may have had sex with her in my parent's bathroom.


Need more elaboration on this story.

Who else here got laid while being in a completely smashed state and didn't even remember the act?

Fun stuff amirite

>>8063905
Only happens with rum

I can drink vodka,whiskey,etc but anything with Rum in it just fucks me up later,but anyway

>26
>go to party with coworkers
>start drinking lightly and shoot the shit with co-workers
>11pm rolls around and people are drunk,but I'm just getting started
>host of the party offers Sailor Jerry and say "fuck it,I'm off for the next 2 days anyway"
>drink a 1/2 liter by myself
>closest to blackout drunk that I have ever been
>wake up with older co-worker,naked,on a strangers floor
>open eyes a bit and realize that we're in a little girls room.Frozen,Disney,MLP,and tons of other shit all over the room.Realize that it's the host's daughters room.Thankfully she was somewhere else that night
>wake up co-worker and get her side of the story
>somewhere around 1am a few of the girls at the party started giving everyone lap dances and managed to get into a 3 way with one of the younger and one of the older co-workers
>younger co-worker ended up vomiting all over the floor mid coitus and left
>older co-worker and I kept on fucking until 5am
>everyone at the party heard us
>get heckled at work for a few weeks
>few weeks pass
>small kickback at another co-workers house,grillin,chillin,and drinkin
>find out that it could've been a foursome but the fourth co-worker found the bathroom instead of bedroom and passed out there
>co-worker turned into fuckbuddy for a while until she got into a serious relationship
>still hang outside of work occasionally,but no fucking

>>8063905
I tend to get into fights. Bouncers, cabbies, random fucks, drug dealers even. This is all according to my friends. I'm normally a calm and rational guy but I guess all the pent up frustration seeps out when I drink too much.

>>8063905
Probably July 1999.
You're welcome

>>8063943
>loses faith in the people who kept his dumb ass alive

If you had no recollection how you got there, then you may have fucking OD'd on some shitty laced weed. Dumb fuck.

>he's not aware that people dip joints in embalming fluid for dank times

>>8069657
you're the worst kind of drunk. you shouldn't drink.

>>8064533
It was really only over the course of like 8-16 hours, but also there was jet lag involved over a redeye flight with infinity booze on it so wait. Left at 5 am or so landed 8 or 9 something 6 hours in the flight drinking. Started drinking on the job around 2 230. Blacked out at 10 drinking and eating at places along the way presumably this continued until I got the email and said something on my phone. Friend finessed shenanigans, I was self aware around like 3pm california rooftop time eating. So like 14 hours from 2pm-4am break for getting on plane and acting right in an airport 6 hour flight from 5AM to landing in LA at 8AM drinking redbull and vodka in first class. Uber from airport to ????hotel drop things off???? then rooftop work place??? So realistically 20 hours of liver destoying alchohol but I must have been eating protein and keeping hydrated adequately even while blacked out.

so less than a day but didn't miss out on any of my responsibilities.

>>8063905
I loaded up 3 8oz cups of gin and juice
took me about 10min to drink all three

I didnt eat all day

Passed out in about 30min
woke up 24 hours later so dehydrayted all my membranes were dry and I looked completely ripped. Everytime I tried to eat, I ended up puking my brains out. felt like shit for 3 days.

Oh, and I added the OJ after 8oz of gin.

>>8063905
>What's the absolute drunkest you have ever been?

Me and my mate from the uniformed services course went drinking with our old mates from school. I got so drunk when i got back i asked him to put me in a recovery position on my bed. Which he did.

I'd like to tell you, but I honestly can't. I woke up one morning with a bad hangover and a trail of blood leading to my bed. My pants were soaked with what I can only assume was my own urine. There was a massive hole in my bathroom door. My keys were still hanging out of the lock. My bike was completely and utterly destroyed. I had some pretty gnarly scrapes and abrasions up and down my body, and I'm lucky they didn't get infected.

The last thing I can remember before blacking out is that I was really hungry and I didn't have any food in my apartment. Evidently my drunken logic was "there's no way I can drive right now... but maybe I can ride my bike?".

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I don't remember.

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>start drinking
>pass out
>wake up outside with a broken hand and no phone

I don't drink when I'm upset anymore

First time ever I drunk 1 liter of white lightning (super cheap strong white cider here in the UK), I was 14, had the time of my life, kissed a girl, felt her up a bit, enjoyed being drunk, everything felt funny!

So the week after, I buy 2 liters of white lightning, down it all really fast. Vague memories of throwing up all over myself, my friend had to call my mum to pick me up. vague memory of my mum putting me to bed...

Wake up, I had wet myself, felt ill as fuck, swore I wasnt doing that again!

Did the same the week after, just no throwing up or wetting myself, 20 years later, I don't drink very often, but when I do, I get shitfaced!

>weekend out of town, at a game tournament
>the venue had a bar, so first thing I do is grab 2 pitchers
>the only beer they have on tap is fucking caribou(northwestern Canadian pissbrew), doesn't matter, work through the pitchers in an hour with a friend
>venue turns out not to have any food at all, the town we're in has nothing edible within walking distance either
>decide to tough it out, keep drinking
>day winds down, group heads to the local pub, expecting there to be food
>chef was sick so no kitchen, and I'm getting to be shittered at this point
>cockmongler sitting next to me keeps refilling my glass, and I keep drinking it
>blackout, somehow made it back to the hotel, vomit then pass out on the floor
>wake up, stagger to the shower, shamble downstairs to the breakfast buffet, it's all disgusting, but it's food, choke down a bagel and a cup of cranberry juice, head back to venue to resume debauchery
>ignore the caribou this time, get through the day and head back to the pub where it turns out they have fucking long island iced tea pitchers on special for 7 dollaroonies
>same thing that happened the last night happens then, minus the vomiting and with more karaoke, stumble back to the hotel this time and actually sleep
basically, the whole weekend I didn't stop being drunk

>>8063905
Drank half a bottle of moonshine then drove to the bar and downed a few shots and couple pints of beer and left for home. Except I couldn't even find the parking lot let alone my car and stumbled around some neighborhoods for an hour or so. Finally found my car and got pulled over right outside the Sheriff's office because my headlights weren't on. Blew a 2.3 and spent the night in the clink. Shitty experience but it changed my life for the better.

>>8064028
Waking up after a long period of nothing when you know you were drinking is scary.

i once sat at a bar drinking beer, i drank a pint then another then another i did karaoke to queen, i drank and drank and drank probably 10 pints before the night was up. only time ive stumbled around while drunk. i chilled with 4 beautiful girls too bad i was relayed to 2 and dating one.
one of my relatives kept repeating she loved me and kissed my lips repeatedly. it was great.

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first ever time drinking at 17 (alone, mind you):
>was looking for a pot or pan in the pantry so i can cook one evening
>found mum's hidden coconut rum
>i think, "why not?"
>get a big cup of ice and take it with the bottle to my backyard to stargaze
>pour rum in cup, proceed to drink entire cup in one gulp
>think to myself, "this isn't too bad. i don't know what the fuss is all about."
>several big cups later i drank the entire handle of rum in one sitting within 15 minutes

the only thing i remember was me listening to a Tegan and Sara song on repeat on my phone while singing along to it in the backyard so my neighbors must've heard or saw me.

the next morning my brother told me he helped me upstairs to my room while i was NAKED for some reason. a few minutes after i had gotten to my room i dry heaved everything i ate that day into a huge gooey red and orange mess. had the first and worst hangover i ever had that following day which lasted all day.

i got in trouble too with my mum because apparently there were bodily fluids on her plants in the living room as well as my shoes. most of her plants in the backyard were destroyed and most of important of all her rum was gone.

>>8063905
I got wasted camping and wrestled my friends. I was the drunkest and the champion and nobody got hurt so I'll take that as a double win. I vomited it all after the last round so I didn't feel as bad as I should have in the morning.

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>>8069973
>one of my relatives kept repeating she loved me and kissed my lips repeatedly. it was great.

>>8064701
Whatever helps you sleep at night, you fuck.

>>8064879
Are you a faggot all the time or just when you're drunk?

>>8063905
i moved into my junoir year college apartment like a week before my roommates and there was no cable, only wrastling dvds. i did nothing but drink and watch wrastling till they moved in. i don't remember much.

i was in a very depressing time of my life, still am, but that's another story.

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once i shat myself and i cried. another time i woke up in an ambulance, and the other time i woke up at the hospital. all very shameful desu

>>8066298
This is absolutely hilarious

>>8066583
>Two 0,75L bottles of vodka

>almost half a gallon of vodka

Seek help.

>>8063905
Drank everything, woke up in drunk jail, tried to escape what ithought was a saw movie.

>>8069558
Heaven forbid your parents should try to help their loser trunk teenager out of his miserable situation. Shame on them.

>>8070332
sounds familiar
I lost the highway a couple of times
walked home
passed out on the way
was in a world of shit in the morning

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>>8063991
I had a friend that I lived with for two years that did this.

He also liked to use my other friends Xanax with alch (she would too, though she had a legit prescription)

He pissed in random ass places that he says he thought was the bathroom when blackout. Normally just in his room, never wet the bed though. Happened around 6 times in the two years. He always cleanned it up and it never really smelled so I didn't care.

I apparently did this once too, I woke up to the smell of piss and just saw a puddle next to my door. I don't recall doing that though pretty sure I didn't black out

Drunkest I've ever gotten was freshman year at uni (drank for the first time then, and hit it hard, drink every day now) and me and two friends finished a handle of tequila

I blacked out and apparently I projectile vomitted everywhere in my mates living room and later had a mental breakdown and started crying profusely. Thought it was funny when I went to the cafeteria in the morning and a person that I thought wasn't there asked if I was ok and I responded with "lol yeah ofc"

>>8063905
Alcohol poisoning to the point where I wasn't able to stand for a day, I just lay there in my vomit soaked clothes.
Then I couldn't get myself to leave the house or eat for a further 3-4 days.

It was years ago.

Fortunately someone took me home and made me drink a lot of water in between vomit sessions, but eventually they had to go.
Then 4-5 days of hell.

And I didn't function right for several more days afterward.


I haven't drank in 2 years, though unfortunately I did have a few other incidents after the one described before I finally stopped.

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>>8069973
>one of my relatives kept repeating she loved me and kissed my lips repeatedly

>>8070013
>dry heaved everything i ate that day
That's not how that works.

>>8063905
Went to a frat party my freshman year at uni and got blackout drunk. Apparently the people I went with took me to a local playground and we screwed around there for a while, eventually they took me back to my dorm where I somehow managed to climb into my loft bed fully clothed and fall asleep.
Threw up all over my bed while I slept (I'm a belly sleeper so I was fine). Woke up and cleaned everything, took a shower, then sat in my dorm wrapped in a sleeping bag watching chinese cartoons while drinking tons of water to combat the severe alcohol poisoning.

>>8070388
IT WAS GREAT

>>8070305
Drinking only makes it worse m8.

>>8070384
Were the 4-5 days withdrawals?
I've had mild withdrawals that manifested as auditory hallucinations. When I fall off the wagon I'll have about a pint of vodka every night for four to five nights in a row. Then my first sober night I can't sleep because I'm hearing voices and loud banging and crashing, that of course isn't really there.

Drunk on booze or drunk on power?

>>8070394
Glorious

>>8070409
voices are real try two pints for six days

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One of my friends turned 21 and for a birthday present to himself he made me drink a shit ton of whiskey, I blacked out at 3:30 pm and blacked in 12 hours later.

Being in a frat house, I kept drinking throughout the event, punched multiple holes in walls, ripped a door off its hinges, walked down to the gas station underage while my friend bought me a sidewalk slammer, drank half of it back at the house and then slammed it down the cement stairs, and woke up at 3:00 am being revenge-peed on. I didn't drink again for a month.

>senior year at uni
>at a random apartment party
>not even drunk going into the party, maybe had 3 or 4 beers before hand
>bunch of people i've never seen before
>there's beer pong and my roommate doesn't want to team up with me; instead hooks me up with a french foreign exchange student
>whenever i have to drink, he just feeds me a strong mixed drink
>have no idea how much i drank
>french girl and I win the beer pong game
>she's qt and I talk to her in the kitchen but nothing really happens except a lot of sexual tension and staring (I'm an awkward loser most of the time so I didn't pick up on this and make a move)
>for some reason I'm also talking to this random art student who's a year younger than me
>we're talking about tripping on psychedelics and it's a pretty good convo; added him on facebook the next day
>everyone in the apartment leaves and we start walking to the bar
>I smoke a cigarette with french girl
>we get to the bar which is a few blocks away and while we're waiting to get in, french girl says something like "I don't actually like going in bars anyway, I'm just gonna go home" and stays for a few seconds longer
>tfw it hits me a minute later that this was probably her trying to bring me back
>go into the bar anyway
>talking to everyone I know very enthusiastically, no one can even tell i'm shitfaced, people think i'm just unusually happy
>black out at this point
>black back in an hour later while buying a sandwich at the deli with some indian dude who owned the apartment we were in before
>he wanted me to buy rolling papers for him so we could smoke up with my friends
>i give him the rolling papers and eat my sandwich
>black out again
>wake up on my bed at 5am with the mattress pad flipped over on one side and all of the sheets taken off
>throwup on my bed consists of bread and chicken
>got vomit on my phone and drunkenly try to clean it off by running my phone under the fucking bathtub faucet

>>8064545

You drank four beers and puked? Holy fuck lol

>>8070471
(2/2)
>ruin phone with water damage; the phone can't be charged normally anymore and I have to keep an extra battery and external battery charger with me
>be hungover all day
>finally gain the courage to eat food again at 5pm after lying in bed all day feeling like I died
desu it was a sick night until the sandwich fucked me over.

I went out to a bar in Sea Isle City with a friend. We drank a variety of things over the first hour. Second hour I order two double shots of Jameson for us. He doesn't drink whiskey, I drink both. Including all the other drinks, I am now drunk. I order three more double shots. Twenty minutes later I am fucked in half drunk. We start walking to the house which is a few blocks over. Halfway through the walk I can no longer stand. I keep falling over, I am also a skinny manlet. He's trying to keep me up to no avail. I fall the entrie walk. My last memory is lying on my back laughing on the sidewalk.

Once I'm awake I'm still drunk and my chest hurts badly, hurts to breath. I drive to a clinic, I cracked four ribs. I no longer drink Jameson.

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>>8063905
We were having a party to say goodbye to a friend i drank half a bottle of tequila another half a bottle of vodka and some piña colada and rum i ended hugging and kissing everyone and crying a lot i ended having Wild and drunk sex with my bf i ended Up barfing in the bathroom for like an hour half naked

>>8068759
He is you from the future. He is trying to help you without fucking up the time-space continuum.

>>8063943
should have let you die you sound intolerable

>>8070392
i just meant it all came out, everything with minimal liquid. it was mostly solid.

>Have a long distance girlfriend, we agree to have it be an open relationship
>I fuck someone, I tell her she can fuck someone
>She meets some dude, I lose my shit
>It's St. Patty's day, use it as an excuse to get fucked up
>Wake up, go to work, skip lunch to talk to her on my break, get home
>Open up a bottle of cheap rum and begin chugging shots
>Eat nothing
>Text her and call her a whore
>Finish the bottle and pass out on the floor
>Wake up two hours later, still drunk
>Call her and we fight for another hour
>Hung over for the first time the next day

Still can't drink rum.

I moved out of my old place during a ten hour drinking binge. I had nothing to do all day but think about how miserable I was living there while I drank all their liquor because I was a poor sack of shit. I ended up calling a friend to put everything I owned in his truck and driving to my aunt and uncle's who I convinced to let me stay for a while. I also didn't tell my roommates I was leaving and skipped out on paying rent that month.
For anyone that says I deserve to die for being an awful person, my grandma had a stroke the next day and passed on a week later. I coped by downing handles of whiskeys as fast as a bought them. Been on and off drinking for quite a while, but I've managed to get my life stabilized and not be a drunk every day.

>>8070862
Dude, you're a little faggot. The whole situation, the whole fact that you would type all this out, the whole fact that you would vent this gay shit on 4chan...

Grow some testicles.

>>8070845
not him but dry heaving refers exclusively to the act when your body/stomach convulses like you are going to vomit but nothing comes out, usually because you already puked everything up. If something comes out its really not dry heaving, its puking/vomiting whatever

I was given a 1.75 liter bottle of UV Cherry at my aunt's 60th birthday party, of which I drank 1.3 liters. Puked it all up and had a Hell of a hangover the next day (though it wasn't my worst, surprisingly).

>>8070455
I don't understand ppl like you. My roommates have hosted parties where ppl punched holes in our wall and just destroy shit

Do you just not care at all about other people? Or are you so important that your need to punch is more important than me having a wall without a hole?

>>8070885
First off, there's no real reasoning when you're blackout drunk.

Second, that asshole probably shouldn't drink.

>>8063905
Kissed a lot of people and gave out lapdances to women, threw up and tried to eat my vomit 4 times, throwing up each time, gave lectures on animal genitalia, and emptied 3 bottles of gin into the sink because I "didn't want to allow Santa Claus to reproduce."

>>8063905
I tried to go sleep on the street, it was -30 celsius outside.

>>8070914
>dat last act
I'm physically ill

>>8070862
Let me reply to your gay ass story about how cucked and lame you are with a better story.
>go to qt friend's birthday party
>get sloppy drunk and grab her ass
>puke on her bathroom floor
>wake up on her couch with a blanket, a glass of water, and her dog curled up on my lap
>she makes me breakfast and makes sure I'm alright and sends me on my way
>2 weeks later I'm balls deep in her in the happiest relationship I've ever been in
Life is alright sometimes.

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>>8070862
I turned off my VPN just so I could tell you what a little bitch I think you are.

>>8070939
Fuck off normie.

>>8070897
I've been blackout and I don't get aggressive

Maybe it varies on person

16 shots of goose in an hour and a half
probably the highest my BAC ever has been

>>8069678
I haven't for a few weeks.

>>8070955
>Fuck off normie.
>letting yourself be a slave to a paradigm that makes you miserable
>2016

Threw up like ten times in punta Cana in one night. I was fucked up on rum and hadn't been drinking much water. Funny thing is I wasn't hungover at all

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>Got shit faced with some friends. >Stopped to piss on side of highway,
>fell backwards Cuz couldn't stand. >Friend helped put pants on and stumble to get into car.
>Fell and smacked head on tire rim
>covered in piss, covered in blood.
>throw up in friends backseat
>get dropped off home
>slump to bathroom to wash off
>throw up in hallway
>literally puked everywhere except the fucking toilet
>shower
>shat myself in the shower
>showered again
>try to clean up the hallway/bathroom
>placeisfuckingspotless.jpg
>shower again
>black out
>roommate finds me next day at noon in 110 degree weather naked on the leather couch.


Apparently, I did a shit job of cleaning up. So, I did it all again.
Also, paid to have my friends car steam cleaned.
And to top it off, I called my ex 6 times...

The hangover was nothing compared to how shitty I felt
I can't think of a more shameful night. Have never gotten drunk again since then. But glad I have friends who got my back.

>>8064410
Maybe you should stop drinking

>>8064734
is it hard getting triggered all the time?

put a hole in the wall with my knee
half-supermanned myself out a car window going 100km/h on a highway so i could vomit
passed out in my bed and spilled all my remaining booze all over myself
was apparently happy and laughing and cheerful the whole night before turning into a bawling mess
woke up drunk before work and threw up, then proceeded to comically slip and fall onto said throw up and end up crying again
passed out on the way to the bathroom and woke up 3 minutes later to my friends panicking and the asian cook trying to feed me some sort of antinausea drink (which tasted awful but worked)
fell down two flights of stairs, managing to roll so much on the landing that i plummeted a second time

all of these are on separate occasions btw

>First time seriously drinking in grade 10
>Friend and I were going to split a bottle of Southern Comfort
>Get to the party, waiting for my friend to get there so we can split the bottle evenly
>Gigantic 6'8" 300lb black guy is there and notices that I'm not drinking
>"You gotta chug that fucking bottle"
>"N-no thanks I'm waiting for a friend"
>"Chug that whole bottle or I'm putting you through the garage door you pussy"
>"O-okay"
>I proceeded to chug the bottle in one go
>Within 15 minutes I couldn't even see
>Stomp through a pizza that was on the floor and the whole party boos me
>Try to bench press 180lbs despite weighing 145 and never lifting a day in my life
>End up with bar on my chest yelling for help
>Friends lift bar off my chest and I puke all over the room we were in
>Find myself outside pissing into a shed as the dad of the girl who threw the party is telling me to go home
>Wake up the next day at 9am with puke in my hair and go to work at Walmart

I learned a lot that night.

>got drunk on the beach
>fell asleep on a foldable chair
>puked on my cellphone ruining it
>puked in the shower at home and clogged it
>spent the next morning cleaning everything with the most horrible headache
>my friend who was with me broke his ankle and none of us know how he did

>>8070013
I feel you man

You take a couple drinks of rum, don't feel it, take a couple more and you're on the floor heaving

>>8063905
>getting drunk
>drinking
Sometimes I pity you people.

>>8071292
hxc

>>8070332
I don't usually drink that much, but speed keeps you awake, so you don't pass out and don't feel the alcohol that much, you just keep drinking, because honestly, nobody stops drinking until they have to.

>>8071232
>Gigantic 6'8" 300lb black guy is there and notices that I'm not drinking
>"You gotta chug that fucking bottle"
>"N-no thanks I'm waiting for a friend"
>"Chug that whole bottle or I'm putting you through the garage door you pussy"
>"O-okay"
>I proceeded to chug the bottle in one go
what the fuck? you should have told him to fuck off, what is he gonna do, beat you because you refuse to drink a whole bottle at once?

Here's a pretty recent story. I wasn't even that drunk, but I was pretty stoned and as I learned that is a bad combination. So I was at a bonfire at a party and my friends wanted to roast some hot dogs. I was like blind at this point, so I accidentally grab someone else's raw sausage out of the package and just fucking mutilate it on a stick.
I was really embarrassed because my parents were at this party.

>>8063905
When I get really drunk I try to fuck everyone including my friends.

>>8070013
>get a big cup of ice and take it with the bottle to my backyard to stargaze
>the only thing i remember was me listening to a Tegan and Sara song on repeat on my phone while singing along to it

If you're male I feel a lot less alone in the world right now

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>>8071512

>>8063943
>lmfao what kind of doctor doesn't know what weed looks like? dude weed lmao xDDD
"Well I was never trained to identify it, but maybe the police can"

>>8063905
Got so wasted on my last birthday party that I goaded a chick into punching me, punched her in the face, then when her boyfriend tried to defend her I beat the shit out of him too.

Overall, it was a pretty good night.

>>8071326
Yes? That's exactly what I thought he'd do. Or that he'd steal my booze and kick me out. I was a skinny 15 year old without much world experience you mong, anything a big black guy threatened to do was possible.

>>8071540
you're a fag

>>8070727
you sound like a straightedge faggot

>>8064734
bro weed is only illegal because of racist white males

I'm a lightweight. I'm 6'1" but pretty skinny.
Some experiences from various events over the last year or two

>threw up in a friend's dad's jag

>blowjob from a guy I kinda wanted to fuck (am faget sometimes)
>people walked in twice and the host was apparently pissed as fuck
>haven't seen her since, hope she's forgotten

>bring 8 cans of shit cider to pre-drinks, gonna drink five or so, haven't eaten all day
>"bet you can't finish all 8"
>finish all 8 as fast as possible
>kicked out of club at 10:15
>don't remember getting home, do remember the hour spent throwing up in the toilet

And the most recent which is the worst I've been but the least interesting story
>have 7 or 8 beers at pres, fine at club door
>round of tequila bought
>buy 2 pints, accept jäger bomb
>no memory of the following 5 hours
>literally nothing
>wake up and be fine

I'm going back for my second year of uni in a couple of weeks. Can't wait

>>8070967
Not him but different people definitely act differently
Have one mate who punches everyone and everything and another that gets all serious and depressed. I just get a butt louder and really giggly

>>8063905

drunk so much that my brain switched off and switched back on 2 hours later where I was taking a shower with all of my clothes on for some reason.

drank half a bottle of rum straight from the bottle when I was 16

blacked out like 5 min later, only remembering bits and pieces of what I did all night

woke up in my own bed, like 10km from where I blacked out

bad times

>>8064176

He is king alchie

See Trailer Park Boys for reference

>>8064176
mostly the bathrobe part.

im living at home for the time being, and all i keep doing is sneaking huge ass gulps of my parents liquor, replacing my dads jägermeister when i go out.

rural life is kind of boring. even more so when you have no money. especially so when you have no money.

>>8072617
Straight from the bottle? Holy shit dude.

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>>8063905
10 shots, 10 minutes
i rmember barfing on the front lawn, then partying relatively hard with my roomate at our house, and stumbling down the street to the local black peoples shed. went home to an empty bedroom.

thats about the time i got into weed.

one time i got back from a halloween party and crushed a fucking jug of rum with my roommate and his bro. dont rmember but bits and pieces, but we left the apt complex and played guitar on the street corner until the guard told us to go in beofre he reported us. woke up with a headache. kinda started smoking weed a little mroe after that.

couple of times i got blasted on rum and had soem pretty great sex with my ladyfriend. i wish i could rmember those. rum is fun, but the fact that i cant mrmeber being drunk when i drink it makes it sad.

one time we held an art gallery at our house, got served tequila and oj. all i rmemeber is stumbling into my room, seeing myself in the mirror fall sideways, land on the ground and barf. left the barf on the floor and crawled into bed. cleaned it up the next morning. stank bad. stayed damp for a bit.

apparently one time i got smashed at another gallery, was really appreciative to everyone that showed up, kissed a lot of dudes on the cheeks. eventually had to be dragged out.
same venue, but less than a year ago, i dont rmember this, but apparently i fell asleep on a table waiting for my friend to get off work.

went to austria a couple weeks back for a month, one time, got drunk enough that i rolled around in a bed full of women, then eventually fell down a hill and smashed my head on a tree. that same weekend, i woe up drunk and attended a wolksfest, dont mrmeber much of it, really embarrassing.

most recently, i crushed a fuck ton of jägermeister and vodka, ate dinner with my folks, did some shit and woke up around midnight to my parents saying good night as i woke up in my bed. stayed up about half that night with a massive fucking headache. scares me.

i need a job.

>>8063905
a few months ago I was drinking alone in my apartment at night and suddenly it was daytime, Ii didn' remember falling asleep it was all so sudden... aparently I slept for 3 days straight and was covered in vomit and piss. It's a shame I woke up

>>8064122
They never learn

>>8072735
>It's a shame I woke up

I know that feel. A few nights ago I had about 25 shots (been having about 30 a day for past 3 weeks).

I spend most my time in my home office in the bed. I woke up at 4am because my blood pressure was well over stroke levels, heart rate 240 bpm and extreme pain in my heart/chest

I got up to wake my wife to call an ambulance. Halfway to the door, i decided to do another large shot and pass out and die

When I woke up alive, I was fuckign furious

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>>8064812
Every bad drinking story I have happened on a New Years Eve. Passing out in driveways on codeine and whiskey stupors, shooting my .22 at wine glasses in the middle of a suburb, jumping off of an apartment balcony to avoid being arrested...

I don't drink on New Years anymore.

>>8063905
For my 21st birthday I drank half a bottle of Jameson. I tend to avoid spirits, and mainly just drink beer. Things were fine though, I got through the bottle quicker than I expected. Sure as shit didn't intend to drink half of a 700ml bottle. When I left my house with my friends I wasn't feeling particularly drunk as we walked into the city to head to a club. By the time I got there I was plastered. Barely able to speak. All my friends bar one went in before me, and when I tried to get in the bouncer refused me entrance, and I just sorta nodded and said 'fair enough.'
The other friend that didn't get in brought me to McDonalds in the hopes of sobering up. Meanwhile, none of my other friends had any idea where I was since I wasn't picking up my phone. I have this very strong memory of eating a burger and being able to see nothing but pure black.
Immediately after that, I just remember being at home in bed having a strong urge to get sick. Thinking I was at home in my parents house (a bungalow, as opposed to the one storey house I was actually in) I get up and turn left to head to the bathroom. Except, it was actually my housemates room. I mistook the windowsill for a toilet and just puked all over it and managed to close the curtains funnily enough. My other housemate came back after an hour at the club to find I had managed to make it down to the bathroom and was passed out on the ground. The housemate whose window I puked all over had brought a girl home, and right before he was getting down to business he noticed the smell. Then looked behind the curtains. Totally gobsmacked.
He was cool about it the next day after I cleaned it up, and I've never felt so much shame in my life.
So yeah, standard 21st.

>>8072724
I drank it all down in like two minutes, too, like 8 gulps at a time

it was a good less on I guess, I've been careful with alcohol ever since

>>8063905
I woke up in the hospital and was told I had a BAC of .518. They asked me if I was trying to kill myself and I said no, but I ended up getting committed for like a week anyways.
I kept getting told I was lucky to be alive. I don't feel lucky.

At a party when I was 17, stumbled a bit, told everyone they were my best mate and I pretty high pitched and giggly

I drank a whole bottle of Vodka

>>8072766
he's patronizing you because he's insecure

>>8064545
LOL wow what a cuck. 4 beers rofl

Anyway . I guess if you're a fan you'll be mad that the blaze are done here. This whole town sucks balls anyway.

I once drank an entire box of wine.in 3 hours while smoking weed. I was surprised I didn't black out, but I did sleep for like 16 hours.

Sometimes I steal my kids candy when I'm drunk and feel pretty bad about it

i'm not on the level of the hardcore alcoholics here but i used to do the whole depressed drinking thing when i was younger
>consume 1.5L of wine and a family size bag of doritos in about 2 hours
>some time later, make my way to bathroom to get it the fuck out
>ralph into toilet without realizing i hadn't put up the seat, end up basically sticking my face on the toilet seat and vomiting, after which i raise the lid and vomit the (very small) remaining contents of my stomach into it
>for some reason take off my pants to clean up the mess
>for some other reason decide pants are more important than a shirt, so i take off my shirt and wear it as a pair of pants
>walk like this to a dumpster to dispose of my pants and the seat cover

another time
>at music festival, having fun, drinking, meeting strange people
>happen upon a camp at which cheap whiskey was being distributed
>spend some time there
>not sure how much i drank, but i completely blacked out and my next memory is being asleep in some bushes
>apparently while blacked out i found my way back to my friend's campsite, at which i partied more until i got up, stumbled off to the side and somersaulted down a hill while vomiting (my friend at least put me in a chair and gave me a blanket tho)
>woke up at 6, drove home and had to work at 10 the next day with the worst hangover of my life
that one put me off binge drinking

>>8064836
the dude style

when I was 19, I went out to a bar on vacation and I had my first taste of jager. I had already had maybe 4-5 beers and my cousins decide to buy bottles of jager and redbull and I kept going shot after shot because I thought it tasted pretty good and I felt fine. It kicked in when I got to the club and I immediately puked outside the entrance and walked in. All I remember after that is being carried to the car I don't remember how long I was there but I might have made out with a ladyboy according to my cousins.

this one is semi-recent. I'll preface that I hadn't eaten since brekky
>Go out for happy hour with a mate
>Share a pitcher of margarita with said mate
>About to head home, when other mate texts us to do BoGo sake bombs
>Fuck yes
>After 4 (i think, was blacked out by then) I excuse myself to the bathroom
>Absolutely destroy it...puke everywhere
>Friend drives us home
>In bed by 10:30

I went on a date with a girl I was hitting on. What I didn't know is that she is quite a heavy drinker. So we arrive at the party and start chugging beers. I still want her to get smashed, so I keep up and we proceed with shots. At some point I realise that this is not going the way I planned, so I try to take it down a notch, but she keeps ordering beers and I don't want to look like a fag. I notice that she is pretty drunk too, but I feel that I have passed the point of safe return, so we agree to go our separate ways.

On the way home I puke the first time. At home I try to sober up by drinking lots of water, but have to puke more. Finally I sleep and wake up 6 hours late with a terrible hangover, so I get some breakfast and feel better. Nope, that was premature, gotta puke again at work, but manage to hide it well.

Later she told me that she pretty much knows exactly how much she can take and closely keeps tabs on how many beers/shots she had to not pass out. Smart move actually. In my defense, I am a manlet, but she is not much taller although a little chubby.

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>>8063905
I don't remember.

>>8063905
Full bottle of whiskey at a house warming. Made out with some girl after throwning up, wrestled with some guy shitrless in the garden. Then after all that I had a seizure, then pissed on some passed out girl during the night. Good times.

>>8064394
you have never been properly drunk before

>>8073286
>He thinks he didn't black out
People just didn't tell him about the bits he doesn't have a memory of.

>>8073300
lmao i know, what a cuck

>>8064878
I think it depends where your at in life. I have buds here in burgerstan that do just that. I had even more that did just that back in school (uni). I used to do a lot of shit like that myself. I enjoy being a slovenly shitter like that from time to time again still, but I gotta pay the bills and my lady-friend is going to law school; which is kind of inspiring feelings in me to go back and get my masters.

I guess I don't want to shit away my ambitions just for one more *okay* weeknight out getting wasted with my friends who haven't seen a sunrise with sober eyes in years... Also it really is nice to wake up in the morning without a 5-day-coming hangover.

>>8073486
kind of following that line, while reading this thread i started asking myself why people like us drink to the point of intoxication...hadn't had any drinks in a while but when i finally did i remembered how good that 'careless-drunk' state feels, and that's probably what drives people to keep drinking. if they have poor self-control skills while being sober already (myself included), having poor self-control while being drunk is a joke, so they end up blacking out and shit. on the other hand, ending up in a coma is fucking scary imo

>>8069143
>Apparently I was up until 3 AM, blind drunk, cleaning the apartment and bathroom before taking off all my clothes and falling asleep in bed naked.

This... This is, like, a weekly Saturday night occurrence for me.

>>8063905

Honestly? I've only been puke drunk 3 times. The most recent time was because I had eaten too much junk food before drinking. The time before that, was because I already had a stomach bug, and the alcohol only made it worse.

The drunkest I've ever been was when I was 17, before I knew my limits. It's not the worst ever, but for me it is.

>be me
>be 17
>new years eve
>canada's drinking age is 19, my friends boyfriend and his friend are 19, naturally they supply the booze
>i was a baby drinker at this time
>have a few mikes, a few smirnoff ices, stuff i'd never drink now
>eventually start taking shots
>my friend is already far gone
>i'm almost blackout drunk, she's crying over her dad who was dying of cancer at the time
>mix some fucked up absinthe + bacardi shot for her
>tell her it will make her feel better
>she touches it with the tip of her tongue, screams, backs away from me
>fuck it, i take the shot
>a few more
>i learn just how awful being blackout drunk can be
>apparently i ran outside, threw my shoes off, and rolled around in the show
>puked all over the floor and friends feet
>puked and shit at the same time, sitting on the toilet holding a bucket in my hands
>my friend yelled happy new year at midight
>i tried to yell it back
>spewed vomit

That was quite some time ago. I drink more than I should, but at least now I know my limit. I still feel bad because that one guy cleaned up my puke.

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>Halloween night a couple years ago
>Still fairly lightweight at the time
>Start night off with Russian friend, drink about a quarter liter of vodka in addition the caustic mix of pregaming
>Leave to hang with another batch of lads
>Do a few shots of tequila
>start to brown out a bit
>Sitting in a basement, people are starting to leave
>some fat chick left a quarter-filled bottle of [liquor] on the table
>Scope it out for a couple minutes
>Nobody's claimin' it
>Chug it and dash out the back door
>Black out as I cross the backyard
>
>
>momentarily sober up below the 2nd floor window of a friend of a friend's apartment with a significant amount of pain and the wind knocked out of me
>hear some girls screaming
>shit that's probably about me
>run (read: hobble) away 'cause fuck that noise
>
>
>wake up on my kitchen floor
>check phone, 25 messages
>check pants, 25 cc's of piss
I haven't gotten that drunk since because my body is too fragile to be the sheer level of wild-card that blackout me wants it to be.

>>8064164
what the christ man. thats heroic. glad you lived.

>>8064506
how was the mental facility? whyd they decide to send you there?

>>8064784
PCed?

>>8070989
good to know. You should give it up. Nothing worse than some piss drunk faggot always wanting to start unnecessary shit at a party.

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IDK I've been drinking too long and too much to have just one. I tend to black out a lot but never shit or piss myself. been given rides home from the cops a few times but never taken to drunk tank. fuck I even drove blacked out a few times and only knew because I found the taco bell receipts...I don't drive anymore.

still though, drunk as I type this.

>>8068579
bac height weight ?

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I don't ever drink, ever- except for christmas, and most recently, after my favorite mouse passed away.

I'm a lightweight who never drinks, so I got really sick after trying to drink one whole can of four loko in a small amount of time. I puked most of it, but I still got so drunk & sick that I haven't had a drink since.

>>8073993
>1 four loko

Step it up nigger

>>8073993
Getting deathly sick by drinking a 4loko is not exclusive to lightweights.
The only reason to drink a 4loko is if you're trapped at the bottom of a well with an alien that'll kill you unless you drink a 4loko

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>>8074013

My GF used to drink 3 in one night. She can't do it anymroe, so she sticks to Old English, Bushce, E-40, and she also wanted me to say that no she's not black.

On a normal night of drinking, she can do 2 old english and 2 busches.

>>8064657
What an absurd story that was.

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Not the most drunk I've ever been, but one of the most drunk.

the tldr is:

>get the royal asswhooping at the hands of a German pimp and his 6 manlet Thai henchmen for refusing to pay after turning down sex with one of his Thai hookers.


This was a 40 minute saga involving multiple escape attempts, me successfully sleight-of-hand concealing my passport from them, a chase involving a Tuk-Tuk (a Tuk-Tuk is what would happen if a motorcycle had sex with an umbrella).

Ended up escaping without paying the $300 usd they wanted, with a few bumps, bruises, and scrapes for my trouble.

However, got ripped off for like $10 by the last cab ride home, smacked him in the head, then got punched in the face like 6 times in rapid succession by an angry little Thai Bruce Lee cabdriver.

>Vacation, am I right guys?

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>>8074080
you can't leave it at just that dude

relapsed and drank about a liter of vodka. vomited in my sleep and would have choked on it and died if I was alone. friends took care of me. didn't drink for a few days after that.

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>>8074080
nigger you better tell that story

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>>8074080
>>8074109
>>8074116

I've told most of it, I'll fill in some details

>be me
>northern thailand
>meet a bunch of australians
>decide to do a "7-11 pub crawl"
>thailand is fucking full of 7-11s, who knew?
>get beers at each one
>whenever we see westerners we invite them
>there are like 25 of us marauding around getting lit
>get separated from them
>run into a german guy
>think he was one of the 25
>we go to a bar
>he says "come back here, over this way"
>I think he's leading me to another bar area so we can get a drink
>it's a fucking dingy back room with 5 shitty folding chairs in a row
>literal bare lightbulb hanging from a string, like a fucking movie
>he motions to a chair
>i'm super fucking wasted and just perplexed, still not cottoning on that he wasn't just some traveler with us earlier

>>8074133
>in the next 20 seconds as i'm looking around confused, other dudes come and sit in the chairs
>the german claps his hands like he's Jaffar or some shit
>bunch of Thai hookers stroll in
>my dumbass finally gets it
>I start laughing like an idiot
>they all stand in line at the front of the room, batting eyes and giggling, you know, thai hooker stuff
>the other guys all indicate which ones they want
>i'm still chuckling, about to get up and leave
>have a GF back home, also don't want the super AIDS

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>>8074144
>>8074144
Is anyone still reading this? If not I'm going to sleep

>German pimp looks at me, points to one of the leftover girls
>"VAT? YOU DO NOT LIKE HER?
>"uhhh...sure, she's nice"
>she immediately sits on my lap and starts canoodling and kissing on my neck and shit
>mfw
>enough is enough
>stand up, go out a door
>must have been the back door, because I end up in a fucking dark alley and NOT back in the bar
>decide to leave
>all of a sudden, surprisingly strong arm grabs my arm and YANKS me around
>it's the hooker.
>The german is with her, and 6...henchmen, I don't know what else to call them fucking materialized out of nowhere

>>8063999
A FUCKING LITER???

Are your Irish?

>>8063905
Drank God knows how much whisky.

Got so sick I took a bath pathetically hoping I don't die.

Every few minutes I would puke off the side of the tub. I have never seen so much vomit in my life. I shit you not it covered approximately 35% of the entire bathroom floor.

>get invited to a party
>not really friends with anyone
>try and normalize with people
>no connection, just small talk
>start drinking out anxiety
>go through a 40 and 7 or 8 beers
>people start egging me on
>down a third bottle of vodka
>call it quits and lay down
>urge to vomit intensifies
>make it to the toilet in time
>puke my guts out, but now I need to take a shit
>start shitting all over my vomit in the toilet
>complete smelly drunk mess
>bathroom door starts to open, it's the girl i had crush on since middle school
>start apologizing, she quickly closes the door
>finish up, and pass out in a chair
>wake up a few hours later, and panic
>escape from the house
>wake up the next day, finding that I forgot my glasses
>I have to go back

Nothing too bad just embarrassing stories of puking when over drinking and having to be taken care of. Manager at my old job almost had to climb over the bathroom stall and carry me out of the bar.

>>8074162
you know a liter is this size bottle right? you act like he drank a handle
I drink 2/3 of a liter every time I drink and dont think its that crazy

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>>8074198
woops forgot picture

can't remember

>>8074198
If that's the case I'm easily drinking a liter a day.

>tfw to much of an alcoholic to know what a liter looks like.

>>8064550
family friends with laotians from that area

>>8074157
why do you do such short posts

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>>8073077

>>8063905
Took my girlfriend home, sent her to my room, went to the kitchen to get a glass of water and like an hour later she found me sleeping on the kitchen floor.

>>8073082
>Woke up at 6
>Work at 10

AM or PM?

When I was a young drinker, I'd hit it hard well into the night/morning despite having work at 7am, and I'd be fine the next day and fully functional.

Now, when I just want to get a good buzz going I'm constantly calculating how much time I have to drink versus when I have to be at work. I don't even drink heavily like i used to, i stick to beer and don't have to be at work until the next afternoon, yet i still have lingering after-effects that my coworkers probably notice. weirdest shit.

>>8073223
aww

Had four well drinks at an outdoor bar which is nothing. They had a bottle of Cafe Patron they were trying to get rid of and selling shots for a dollar so all my friends and I said fuck it.

I don't know what the fuck was in that but we nearly all blacked out. I was dropped on my head and woke up the next morning in front of my work with a scraped up face. Had a really tender spot in my forehead where I fell that get scabbed. Pulled what I thought was the scab out of my head a couple weeks later and ended up being some long thing shard of something. Think I still have minor nerve damage I never got looked at because of that.

Didn't even throw up but fuck ever drinking that shitty coffee patron again. Funny enough my mom told me she had a blackout experience with coffee patron before

>>8074315
I call bullshit.
Did you drink heavily, then go to work with no sleep (because night/morning for me means like 5-6am)? You need to have a pretty lax job for that to work. I think youre exaggerating.

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>>8063905
I'm not sure how drunk I was but this was last November.
I started off with some vodka, and then some rum, and then I don't remember anything after that.

Apparently I got into a long deep conversation with my sister and her boyfriend about donald trump and politics and shit.
They won't tell me what I said and to be honest I don't really care one way or another so I'm completely in the dark about what I was saying.

The other option is from 2 years ago when I was staying with my parents, they went out for the day, I stayed home, started drinking and mixing all kinds of alcohols after which I don't recall anything.

Apparently they found me in the office in the computer chair with puke on the wall and floor and I was passed out.

There's possibly one more time that could rival those two in which I was over at my ex's with my best friend, we all started drinking our asses off, I had a mason jar filled halfway with a variety of alcohols, I downed it, and the last thing I remember from that night is running out of the room to puke in the bathroom sink.
I didn't learn what happened till later but apparently they had to lead me back to the room and I passed out, unfortunately apparently they fucked each other while I was drunk off my ass. The next day at school I was more in the bathroom then the classroom because I kept having to puke. I probably puked about 3 dozen times in total and it got to the point where only water was coming up.

>>8074446

Not him but sometimes you make it work I blacked out at like 4am once and woke up in front of work just in time for my shift as a teppanyaki chef. Worked for 10 hours hungover doing tricks and cooking over a 500 degree grill.

>>8074489
Im not arguing that it cannot happen, but rather the "big deal, when i was young I always got shitfaced then worked" attitude. Ive worked with some people with real issues and the only time they seemed fully functional after going right from the club to work was when they'd started the day with a line of coke. Its obviously problematic to have less than an hour of sleep in between being shitfaced and going to work, it has nothing to do with your age.

>>8063905

I couldn't answer that, I'm Irish, I've been drinking for fifteen years and had a fair few run ins with poitín

>housesitting for my parents for the week
>at one point in the distant past, I considered getting high on the datura plant outside. I knew it was a fucking retarded idea though
>end up drinking by myself like the fucking loser I was
>after I go and get greasy chinky takeout, I go right back to drinking
>these wontons are fucking disgusting
>give them to dog
>they make the dog vomit (sorry dog)
>then I finally vomit from them
>at this point, decide I might as well try some datura
>somehow navigate to the tree and cut off a few flowers and leaves
>put them all in some hot but not boiling water for a bit, drink away
>????????????????
>three days later
>wake up at bottom of staircase
>face smeared with blood, pretty much covered in blood, dehydrated and pale as fuck
>feel like a zombie for the next four days
I'd rate the whole datura experience a 5/10

Got face smashed and teleported half a mile away from where I was. No idea how exactly did this happen.

>wake up feeling like a zombie
>remember drinking a ton last night
>remember stumbling and hurting myself
>takes an entire day to figure out it was a dream
really made me think

>>8073938
PissCucked

>>8071128
>shat self in shower
did you stomp it down the drain?

when I was 19 i got shitfaced one night. i had a new prescription of xanax for insomnia. I couldn't sleep, despite the drinks. shitfaced as I was, i still searched every inch of the pill bottle for an anti-drinking warning.
-there wasn't one-

so i took one. and went to bed. or so i thought.

turns out i lost my mind and got back up out of bed 10 minutes later, went nuts, and trashed my family's bathroom while screaming incoherently and locking myself in.

unbeknownst to me the door was kicked in and i was dragged back to my bed. woke up the next day to the stares of ultimate shame from the rest of my family, having literally no memory of this happening.


GOOD TIMES.

captcha: 1776 IMPASSE

>>8063905
Last year with my friends.

Drank a couple of 500ml cans of cider inside.
We were going to the club and apparently I started acting really giddy and ended up breaking my friend's phone.

I had to be brought back to the apartment by one of the guys, after which I threw up a couple of times into the toilet.

>>8069864
>Cariboo
BC represent, you weren't in Victoria by any chance?

I have never been drunk, or out of my mind on drugs. My family has a number of alcohols and adicts, and I'm scared shitless of ending up like one of them.

>>8075333
I know what you mean, half my family is alcoholics the other half are pillheads
I used to drink every day but got woken up after a liver scare and now only drink 2 nights a week. I would never do pills though I wouldnt even let the doctor prescribe me xanax for my anxiety because multiple have died in my family from OD. The only drugs i've tried are weed alcohol booze cigarettes and shrooms a couple times. I find that alcohol is the easiest to control for me though
Weed and ciggies I quit years ago and shrooms are alright but its not something I would do all the time, maybe once a year but I can rarely find anyone who has them in my area.
Theres no way I would try hard stuff either because thats just common sense

>>8064682
Ruining personal relationships is the worst effect of being an alcoholic. Nothing is as shameful as others being ashamed of you.