Just tried dates for the first time. Oh man....

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dates?

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>>7814625
>dates
fucking normie

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>>7814625
I tried a date once, it was horrible and I still had to pay for everything.

>>7814632
I bet you've been waiting eons to post that glorious picture

>>7814632
You ponce

>>7814638
kek

I love dates

The reason I don't eat them so much is that there are, mostly, only 2 kinds of dates around here:

1. Stale wood flavored trash aimed at yoga sluts who think they're going to cure their chakras by blending up dates with chia seeds and quinoa oil
2. Israeli war dates grown on stolen land with incendiary names like "chosen people valley of Judea and Samarra dates"

Occasionally I can find some good Jordanian or Saudi dates but they're rare and I have to go all the way to the other side of town, where minorities live (not that I have a problem with minorities, but they live far away)

>4chan hasn't had a date until their 20's
Wow so surprising

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>>7814658
>Israeli war dates

holy shit

>>7814632
God damn it, thanks for the chuckle.

>>7814625

>Oh man...

That was your subliminal "Oman". Is that where you got them from or is that here you're from?

>>7814666
sensiblechuckle.jpg
I know nothing about dates, is there a brand or breed/strain that is commonly available at a supermarket?

Dates are fucking disgusting mate. How do people eat that shit?

>>7814682
Once upon a time, sugar was a luxury.

>>7814658
Try Dateland Dates

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>>7814681
Noor and medjool are probably the most common and the best. Halawy are great too if you can find them

Make sure to check the label first, to avoid supporting apartheid and war crimes

>>7814686
I wish I could get those around here, but I've never seen that brand. The vast majority are apartheid grapes. Looks great though

>>7814689
>hate kike merchants
>also hate kebabs

sweatingman.jpg

>>7814709
Apparently you can get American dates, according to that other guy >>7814686

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>>7814693
You can order them normally. I got mine in their little store while passing through arizona. Their honey dates are expensive but holy shit good.

>>7814714
>all the medjool and halawy dates are sold out except the "cooking seconds"
Goddamm muslims and their ramadan

>>7814719
No no no, you HAVE to call in, they told me that before i left. Mon-Saturday 8-1600

>>7814682
Try them with a sliver of almond, wrapped in bacon and grilled. Out of this world good.

>>7814729
Are the almonds activated?

>>7814754
I couldn't tell, they were still pretty crunchy, so yes?

>>7814757
White people hate dates tho.

This winter I finally tried stuffed baked dates.

The first batch I made were stuffed with blue cheese and an almond and wrapped in bacon then baked. The second included some that had a small stick of Parmesan and walnut (wrapped in bacon too).

Amazing.

>>7814765
Bacon and bluecheese? Wow these dates must taste amazing.

>>7814772
At that point the date is just a chewy catalyst for the cheese and bacon

>>7814800
More like it candies the bacon, but we are splitting figs at this point.

>>7814809
.... dates are not figs anon.

>>7814827
Plums?

>>7814835
Tendies?

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>>7814658
Well that sucks. You can get these at any Costco.

>>7814878
Wrapped in fucking bacon are you serious

>>7814885
I guess someone told them that's how you sell to Americans.

>>7814885
>>7814890
It keeps away the Jews and Muslims.

>>7814885
Suggested recipe. They don't come that way.

>>7814890
too bad dates wrapped in bacon was invented by the british and is called devils on horseback, you flaming retard

>>7814625
buy medjool dates, don't buy deglet noor dates they are inferior. Always cut your dates in half lengthwise and open them to examine for pit fragments (you will break your teeth) or insect eggs (i have seen this more than once in highest quality dates it's unavoidable)

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>>7814666
kek

...

Used to work in water rights litigation, in the US almost all dates are grown on a handful of farms in south eastern California (Imperial Valley) and westernmost Arizona. Acerage for a date farm is ridiculously small, like 40-80 acres is viable date farm if you have warter

>>7814923
Oh wow neat. Got anything else?

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>>7814911
>insect eggs
You mean free protein? Get your weak shit out of here you civie piece of shit

>>7814923
Nuts as well.

There's a water shortage, but you need those specialty nuts.

>>7814977
Arent almonds killing California?

>>7814981
And the surrounding aquifers.

Someone might do us a favor by nuking that state.

>>7814989

what would happen to the USA if California was gone? it would have less influence due to the lack of communicated expectations via hollywood morality

>>7814911
That explains the crunchy bug.like center of the last date I had

>>7814989
Why do they continue to feed the fucking things though? Dates take like, a fraction of the water and almost cost as much if you do honey dates. Why fuck around with the basic bitch of the nut world?

>>7814995
Lots of rap lyrics would become obsolete.

>>7814995
Not sure that's a bad thing. Locals always always have their own expectations anyways. And someone else will surely take over manufacturing.

Moreover, nothing gets folks together like an attack. This country is drifting apart.

I fucking love dates, but they only seem to sell them in huge packs around here, and if I buy some, I will eat them all in one sitting.

Too many calories. Love em, but I can't do it.

>>7814658
Oh fuck I lost it.

>>7815052
Atleast they are quite healthy. Also learn some self control you shit

>>7814911
Sorry I didn't meet your threshold for European historical trivia. Obviously, anyone who is anybody knows that the best dish is months old gelatinous and crystallized "fruit" wrapped in fried cured pork fat. And NO, adding fried pork fat to an otherwise flavorless and awkward fruit does not detract from it's subtle, zionist flavor.

>>7814625
What's so great about them? They just taste like small apples.

>>7815173
>small apples

Nigga you what

>>7814632
This is such a fucking old person joke but it's great

>>7814632
OH FFFFFUCK AMELIA BEDELIA

>>7815333
Checked

Also, for some reason, there are people that think all fruit tastes like apples if its not bananas or oranges.
I had a girlfriend like this. I gave her a pear and she tells me shes never had one before...like what the fuck. So she eats it
>this tastes exactly like an apple
No. No it doesnt.
she eats a melon sometime later
>this tastes just like apples
>pears are just green apples
>green apples dont taste any different than red ones

Since then Ive talked to multiple people that are like this. Must be some genetic problem or something.

>>7815367
She must be associating the taste of sugar to all fruit.

I wonder if this is a weird symptom of a rare neural disease or something. Eh.

>>7815367
She needs to be purged

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>>7814632
srsly, Amelia can go die

>>7814658
>Israeli war dates

you mean God's Chosen People Dates

>>7814911
>invented by the british and is called devils on horseback

do the fucking brits even speak english?

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>>7814625
>tfw never had a date

>>7815596
britbong here, never heard of this in my life. Wouldn't surprise me though

>>7815588
>Appropriated Dates

>>7815596
>devils
>on
>horseback
>not English words
You're a fucking idiot, son.

>>7815707
Autism speaks

>>7815708
>autism
You're either new or it's summer?
Lurk moar, faggot.

>>7814625
hope you opened them because a good 20% of them have a worm in it.

>>7814911
>eggs
it's not eggs, it's caterpillar shit and silk. usually with a worm in the middle

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I don't like them.