Webum Thread.
>>7615848
No
>>7615848
>Basic ass egg sandwich made kinda efficiently
No wonder he looked confused about why he was being filmed
>>7615848
any of you fags wanna tell me why you haven't got a jet engine gas hob like the gentleman in this .webm?
>>7615848
/r/ing the one where the guy cracks an egg over a hot pan and a chick comes out
>>7615848
I feel so awkward watching that with the guy giving the "why the fuck are you filming me?" look the entire time
>>7615890
Gotta give em credit, those little chinkers really work for their buck
>>7615890
>>7615983
Awesome
the wife beater is a nice touch
company issue?
>>7615982
absolute moron
>>7615918
My insurance company is accusing me of fraud after my last house burnt down.
>>7615993
How often do they change the robocondoms?
>>7616011
ffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuck
>>7615983
fuck this. sooner or later they'll replace all the jobs with machines.
>>7616047
>>7615993
I think this part is done via force feedback rather than laser scanning, which is in some ways more impressive.
Cool, a thread full of the same exact shit as the thread that's not even been pruned yet
>>7616067
>>7615848
how the fuck does he get out of there without breaking the eggs? does he just have to live in there until he sells them all?
>>7616104
How, and how do I get some?
>>7616104
What the fuck am I looking at?
>>7616055
>To toast your cheese, you'll need some starter bread. It'll be good for 4 or 5 goes before you need a new one.
>>7616132
it's like a beautiful, heterosexual ballet
>>7616101
Damn, that must be amazing. I get pissed off when I can't get my fingers to play an instrument properly, I can't imagine how infuriating it must be to be unable to pick up a spoon.
>>7616047
From what I have heard, slaughter houses are on some of the most strictest cleaning regulations around. Apparently the place has to be completely cleaned every day to the point where there should not even be any kind of moisture in the place. So I would assume they would get a new one every day.
that was quite uneventful. a freakin egg sandwich? whats webmable about that?
>>7616188
muh street food
>>7616170
Ah I thought the sand was some kind of coffee and was coming in through some sort of vent in the cup, but that makes sense. And makes it less cool, but still p cool, and I still would like to get some.
>>7615984
There is no way they cooked properly
>>7616081
>mfw
>>7615979
>why does this baka gaijan like egg sandwiches so much
>>7616170
But he doesn't refill it. Is the water expanding or something?
>>7616199
>>7615984
it's all fake
mythbusters tested it, the velocity required to even get the shrimp to fly that far in a straight line causes them to break apart
but to take it a step further they fiddled and made a gun that could shoot it and determined flashing through the fire like that isn't even enough to warm them
so they shot the shrimp directly through a 20 foot long sword forge and still couldn't even get them to warm up
>>7616145
Probably the funniest thing I've read or seen all day.
>>7616061
i duno why but this is fucking creepy
like.... unholy or something. and im a meatasaurus
>>7615963
>chick comes out
I also want to see this
>>7616353
K(C)raft dinner.webm
>>7615983
Why haven't they attached a dildo to the handle?
>>7615979
the camera steals his soul
>>7616353
I love these
>>7616017
Pus_filled_dessert.webm
>>7616064
this. some new webms would be nice
>>7616197
u wot
>>7615890
lel, that's ridiculous
>>7615983
>tfw chinese ghost cooks for you
Wew
>>7616353
i fucking love this video. Is this stop-motion? This video makes me want to try it to learn it
>>7615990
Do me a favor and zoom in slower, will ya?
>>7617858
Why is it shitty? That lemon zest should be there though wtf
>>7616055
>not holding the hotdog sideways so the cheese doesn't touch the bun
REEEEEEEEEEEEEE
>>7616062
OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT, ON THE HEAT, OFF THE HEAT!
>>7618291
Quality post.
>>7616011
>still bloody on the inside
ugh.
>>7618258
why not
>>7617967
to what end tho?
>>7615995
this is better
>>7618306
Actually that's myoglobin, a relative of hemoglobin.
t. not a retard
>>7618412
guessing to make it look like a dumpling
>>7615848
Do people who live in the west have stomachs strong enough to eat that food without getting food poisoning?
>>7615990
The cool thing bout that is you can make the noodles as thick or thin as you want
>>7618503
It's just bread and eggs
>>7616011
The part where he breaks the meat apart with a squeeze of his hands made me cum
>>7616067
That will be $19.99 plus tip :]
>>7617858
5 raviolis?
That's it?
>>7617959
wtf am I looking at
>>7618548
why is the first criticism out of an american's mouth always about portion size
go back for seconds nigga
>>7618554
read the fucking filename
I think I gained 5 kg of weight just watching these.
>>7618559
kg is a unit of mass, not weight.
>>7618573
In a constant gravitational field, the weight of an object is proportional to its mass, and it is unproblematic to use the same unit for both concepts.
>>7618573
Thanks for reminding us
God forbid we forget about the people who live on the moon and mars
>>7618306
ugh is right
unf.
>>7616170
I'm just amazed it gets that hot for the coffee to cream so fast.
>>7616176
>I get pissed off when I can't get my fingers to play an instrument properly
You have no idea how glad I am to know I'm not alone.
>>7616353
im so high right now
wat
>>7618685
everyone shares that bro, everyone who plays an instrument anyway
i'm a classical guitarist and fucking hell cold weather + nerves has an absolutely dehumanising effect on my playing
>>7618306
You will die never having eaten a steak correctly.
Dwell on this.
>>7616077
>used to have to do this twice a week at work
>tfw somebody forgot to talk it out of the fridge the night before
I kept telling them, we don't need to keep it in a god damn fridge but nooooo, health and safety.
>>7616055
fucking piece of shit, the customer and the cook. I don't even have autism or ocd but this webm really grinds my nuts
>>7616052
>muh jobs muh feels a bloo bloo bloo
It's called progress you fucking Luddite. If people actually listened to mouth breathers like you we'd still living in caves.
>>7616002
Why is there something so satisfying about this?
>>7618456
hahaha
Obligatory.
>>7618803
I made that WebM and I still cringe.
>>7616085
i used to be a baker, and this is such the wrong way to do it.
うわあ
>>7616062
God I can't stand this filming style. I blame it on Jamie Oliver's producer.
ZOOM IN
ZOOM OUT
MOVE
CUT
MOVE
CUT
OHHH IT WILL KEEP ATTENTION
>>7618793
gonna go try that, looks safe and easy
>>7615886
where can I find ass eggs?
>>7618833
now thats just ridiculous
>>7618831
>come to /ck/ with stupid question
>come to webm thread why not
>knee jerk reaction can't open for fear of gore
Looks like I've spent too much time in /b/.
>>7618716
If he eats the steak he will die within a week
>>7618788
I reported that .webm
>>7616353
10/10
>>7618849
>fear of gore
That's how I feel watching >>7618803
every time.
>>7615886
kek
>>7618833
>eating you are waifu
>>7618871
I just don't like being taken by surprise. I was off /pol/ for a long time because of a story involving cat abuse and two pictures on the catalog. I just wasn't ready for it and am still rustled.
But you know with every other contest/reality show they're putting it on. She's not doing anything that could seriously hurt herself, and a true novice would. (scars related)
>>7616330
I think it goes back to something Marshall McLuhan said in that "man is the sex organ of the machine world". It makes you feel insignificant and we can always build things to do something better than we ever could. Which is just waiting for the inevitable point for when we build something that can build/invent things better than we ever could.
>>7618902
This sent a chill down my spine
>>7618930
>It makes you feel insignificant
I don't understand why this bothers some people.
>>7618512
then make me a bowl as thick as our mother and one as thin as your dick, pls
>>7618949
>the oil isnt even heated
Oh my god these are always hilarious. It is like watching a car full of children crash in slow motion.
>>7618824
god i bet she makes some amazing shits
>>7618971
I find that Asian (not including South Asian) women in general shit better than North American or European women.
>every /ck/ webm thread is destined to turn into a jack thread
just kill me now
>>7618954
I dunno it's just an existential issue, I used to have lucid dreams where I was a kid and I was extremely small in a large alien landscape. Things like this cause you to question yourself in many ways, sort of the whole "How Can Mirrors Be Real If Our Eyes Aren't Real" shit.
>>7618949
Jack really is just a despicable human being.
>>7618965
WHY
>>7618965
Jack cracking an egg open with another egg triggers me every time
>>7618984
Its because they squat to shit, which is the natural and right way to shit. It loosens up a band of muscle or whatever in your colon when you squat whereas sitting in a western toiled will fuck it up down the line.
Thats why I try and squat over the toilet to have proper poops.
>>7615848
How do I get webbums to work in Safari?
>>7618965
So much of this recipe defies logic.
If you're going to add a cup and a half of mayo, WHY ADD TWO EGGS?
AND WHERE IS THE BUTTER?
WHY DID YOU USE THE BEATERS TO MIX THE DRY INTO THE WET? IT'LL GET TOUGH USE A SPATULA YOU LAZY FUCK.
He makes me so mad. No one else on Earth triggers me like this man. It has to be because he's teaching people to cook poorly.
>>7618554
Chinese version of lasagna noodles.
>>7619019
Kill yourself.
And then buy a PC/Android.
>>7619025
>using NSArosoft products
say what you want about their products but they're one of those only companies that give a shit about your privacy anymore
>>7619027
just dont upgrade to windows 10 and you are fine
>>7619027
>that disgusting corporate loyalty
You do realize that any intel agency can get your information with a subpoena?
Also, Apple sells user data just as much as Microsoft. They just do it in an obtuse way.
>>7619019
Used to be you could just install Perian. Now, you might as well use whatever version of Chrome you prefer instead.
>>7616313
Did that need an episode of mythbusters to disprove?
>>7615993
Say what you will about the ethics of factory farming and meat eating and slaughter houses, but god damn is killing and mass-production the things we humans are best at
>>7618949
the fuckin worst part is when it hits the oil
jesus fookin christ
>>7618813
great, now make a whole tray of those
>>7618979
theyll catch it at the bottom and re use it.
>>7618263
More like so the cheese doesn't fall off the side of the container and onto the dude's hand.
Seriously he had one job, it would've been so much better with just a single rotation.
>>7616381
>>7616453
>>7618254
>>7618686
>>7618866
Like that, do ya?
>>7618824
stupid bitch doesnt have shit on matt stonie
>>7618902
I can actually see myself eating that to be honest
>>7619111
fuck you cunt get your skull caved in
>>7618824
She’s cute but man she has this terrible lisp.
>>7618979
>>7619085
you mean they'll scrape it off the tray, and put it back in the bucket after it's dried out irregularly?
it'll never work again like it's supposed to if you do that.
those donuts aren't going to be eaten hot. only bakery workers have that privilege, and they'd spread it with a spatula.
no, you pop them in the freezer for 15 minutes to firm them up, or they cool naturally over 2 hours or so. in any case once the fats are hard in it, you just fill a steam table bowl with the chocolate, using only what you need, and give each donut a quick twirl in the melted chocolate.
you can have a bowl of sprinkles around to hit them with once you finish the tray. or a pastry bag with pink icing/frosting to do hot pink zebra stripes on the chocolate dipped donut, or do chocolate fudge stripes on the white frosting frosted donuts.
if a bakery boss walked in on an employee fucking pouring chocolate (probably microwaved) out of a pitcher onto donuts, he'd beat him senseless. it's guaranteed massive waste of product.
now, glazes are different; glazes can be poured over a rack of donuts with a bulldozer bucket looking two sided thingy, over a glaze pan with a spigot at the bottom. it can be poured and filtered and repoured and refiltered pretty much forever. it only dries when extremely thin and exposed to air for a bit.
>>7619177
>it'll never work again like it's supposed to if you do that.
it absolutely can do if re-tempered
i can't believe how much shit you just typed that only demonstrates you have a limited, specific understanding of the subject
>>7619200
no, you will NOT be able to reheat it and get it back to normal. in all likelihood that icing is this.
http://slrsupplies.com/Product.html?Produs=Icings
and good fucking luck once it's been heated and cooled. you've just never worked with commercial fudge icings if you think you're going to reheat it and use it again.
because you are definitely not going to do that.
it'll blacken, crust, crack, and then dust. making for gritty shit i wouldn't serve for 89 cents to a scooter bound welfare queen.
>>7619222
nigga you can't just give a bakery the benefit of the doubt can you. you don't know what 'icing' it is and you don't know what their setup is.
>>7619177
Mate, that's a totally standard way of glazing things when the finish is more important than the time and effort to recover the runoff.
>>7616311
Turkish coffee is ground extremely fine like a powder. It boils and foams up and then stops when he takes it off the heat. Puts it back on and it start boiling again.
>>7619231
i can identify the quality and nature of icing by the appearance of it, especially when being poured like that. i know how it will behave. there are secrets that can be learned but not taught.
>>7619236
in other words, it's a totally standard way of glazing things for webms.
it'd make a shit donut for eating. not more than the top half of the donut over the skunk ring should be iced more than a dribble here and there. and btw they don't know what they're doing with those donuts, they're dry with a thin stripe. mediocre.
furthermore, that fry rack is obviously new and has not been used. there would be caked yellow shortening on the edges if it it had been in a fryer. those donuts were not fried on that frying screen.
the whole thing is a retarded photo op. but i, i see through the lies. so fucking triggered.
>>7619277
you're just heavily overcompensating for skepticism with a lot of irrelevant information.
>>7619268
Do they put milk or water in there as well? Or do the grounds actually foam up itself?
>>7619280
no. i know things. for facts. from experience.
that screen was not in a fryer.
those donuts are dry.
those donuts did not have enough yeast and were under-proofed.
that's method of pouring the icing on will result in messy donuts, and wasted icing.
that is clearly commercial icing, heated, most likely microwaved and stirred.
and finally,
YOU DON'T FUCKING PUT SUGAR ON THE FRYER SCREEN YOU KNOW WHAT THAT DOES TO THE FILTERS ON THE FUCKING PUMP SOMEONE IS GOING TO TRY TO UNCLOG THAT FRYER VAT MANUALLY AND BE BURNED WHEN IT SUDDENLY UNCLOGS AND SPEWS HOT OIL. YOU DON'T PUT SUGAR INTO THE FRYER. THAT SCREEN NOW HAS TO BE WASHED. AND THEN DIPPED. IT'S BAD FOR THE SCREEN. THE WIRES START TO COME OFF. GOOD LUCK GETTING YOUR BOSS TO BUY YOU A NEW SET OF SCREENS GG
>>7619286
you've probably done a week's work experience in a dunkin donuts managed by your uncle
>>7619290
i worked at a bakery for 6 years.
for 3 of those i was in charge of the donuts, pastries, and prep for the artisan bake in the morning.
an average list would be 250 yeast, 100 cake, unless it was a sale, and then, like 500 cake. lets ignore that. 250 yeast per day. five days a week. six or seven often but lets forget that.
250 pounds mix plus about 120lbs water depending on humidity and ambient temp. so 370 pounds of yeast and 160 pounds of cake per day, five days a week, for three years.
it adds up to literally a lowball estimate that i have personally produced 90,720 pounds of donuts in my life. and iced them all. and that is way way lowballed.
you need to learn.
>>7616086
>intentionally consuming what is essentially rotten meat
>>7619307
My dad works at Nintendo.
>>7619307
you've worked in one establishment and now you are commenting on another establishment, because you have a sophomoric need to project wisdom.
>>7619312
yes. problem?
>>7619324
i'm not responding to what i have already described as irrelevant information intended to compensate for skepticism over the unfounded claim that the webm showed ineffective work. it doesn't matter if it was a fresh rack. it doesn't matter if there's sugar on the fryer screen. what matters is your claim regarding the reuse of that icing.
>>7619324
>fryer screen fryer screen fryer screen
>>7619328
it's not a claim. it's not an opinion. it's not up for debate. it's a mother fucking fact. THAT, is *h e a t e d c o m m e r c i a l c h o c o l a t e f u d g e i c i n g*.
when it cools, ITS FUCKING DONE. it *w i l l n o t* be reusable by any sane standards.
i have scooped applied more of this shit to pastries than the entire combined weight of your blood line stretching back three generations.
i know what i'm talking about. you think that you're saying something that you can assume would probably be true. but it's not. it's a lie.
>>7619342
No one is disputing the fact that you have a great deal of experience peddling shit.
I don't know what just happened in this thread but I'm enjoying the drama
>>7618306
That red you are seeing is called the "smoke ring."
>>7619342
>it's not up for debate. it's a mother fucking fact.
no that's a claim. has it been proven? no. so it's a claim.
>i know what i'm talking about.
also a claim.
>>7619357
>it has absolutely been proven.
your standard of proof is woefully inadequate. you've repeatedly stated what you think is happening whilst throwing out other criticisms of what's in the frame, which have no bearing on the accuracy of what you're saying about the icing, in order to make yourself look more credible.
if YOU really thought about it you'd see that you're working off limited experience and information.
>>7619357
From my point of view as an outsider, you've gone on about the cheap substitutes you have experience with, and then asserted that their properties apply to any possible similar situation.
Maybe you just worked with shit.
>>7616088
Break one yolk and the whole thing's fucked
>>7616052
>mfw mechatronic engineer studying robotics to replace your jobs
>>7619370
>>7619371
i know far more than you and you need to just shut up and listen.
you're not even on the level where you can be aware of the existence of the level i'm at.
you're not cognizant of the ability some people develop to determine the properties of a garnish simply by watching it move.
to you it's just some brown shit being poured out. but i see so much more. like a human fingerprint.
the way it ripples. the granular density. the viscosity. the surface tension as it rolls. the stick to the lid. the thickness of the dribble ropes. dozens of tiny details you don't even notice. i see them. like i said. some secrets can be discovered but not told.
i know exactly how that icing will behave. i can see the fucking future for that icing. i have a complete autodesk inventor material profile in my brain concerning that icing. it's generic icing. i know. because i've used a fuck ton of generic icing at work. i know what it looks like and how it behaves. i've also made icings for wedding cakes etc. i know the difference.
you?
you don't even know that it's possible to know.
wew lad.
>>7619384
>mfw programming an AI that designs robots
>>7619391
Too bad you'll still need to build them. By the time you're done you'll be paying me a fortune in royalties.
>>7619399
>mfw 3D printer
>>7619387
Way too far, you might have been able to pul it off with a couple of those lines.
>>7619409
>>i know, i'll say he's trolling when he tells it like it is and i have no where to run or hide from the blinding, unmistakeable reality of the truth of the fact of the matter that that is generic icing which can't be reheated after it's dried in glops on a rack tray.
and there we have it. are we finished here.
>>7619404
>implying 3D printed metal will have the same structural integrity.
Good luck with those Terminators, enjoy your stress concentrations.
>>7619426
>>implying it won't have nano-composite structures making it far superior
>>7619027
>iSheep actually believe this
kek, stick to the edible apples here sonny
>>7619414
Yeah, you win, I genuinely can't tell if you're for real or not.
>>7619445
please, im sorry i got excited. but i couldn't let that "just scrape it up and reheat it!" thing go. it physically hurt me. i walked 2 miles to work at midnight through syracuse fucking blizzards to make donuts until 11 am and walk back for three years.
>>7619453
Are there some things that - if not abused - can be reused? Straight melted chocolate, gelatine glaze, sugar syrup, that sort of thing.
>>7616002
Jojos bizarre cheese factory
>>7619471
Yeah like that time I glazed you're moms face and she played with it then stuck it up her snatch and still got pregnant.
>>7619471
sure. glazes can be reused. you just have to keep crap out of them (pieces of donuts, burnt shit. you slide the donuts off the fryer screen onto the glazer screen, so shit gets in there.). after you're done with it you put a sieve kind of thing under the nozzle on the bottom of the table and empty it back into the bucket. you don't have to heat it much though. just get the bucket to about 90 degrees in the proofer and it's good. it's too thick at cool room temperatures and is hell to glaze with.
the chocolate fudge icing stuff that is on 90% of all donuts, not really, once it's heated and cools, you *can* reheat it, but the outer parts of the cooling formation will remain crusted and hard, and you won't get that smooth perfect look; and you don't want to heat it up too much or the lipids seperate out of it, making it turn blackish when it dries on the donut.
you really want to use a steam table bowl, take a good long while to let it warm up until it can be used, and then keep it there with frequent stirring to prevent the air exposure from forming a crust. if done correctly you can use the same bowl of icing for hours. but when it's done its done and whats left is not useable. you'll get a gritty nasty texture if you try reheating that.
the honey glaze never really dries.
melted chocolate generally melts completely, becomes highly liquid, and has to be used quickly, but because it melts completely can be reused - until it separates - but not so big of a deal because it's just for looks really.
i've definitely seen lots of people try to re-use chocolate fudge icing, and had to be a dick about it, or they'd ruin whole buckets. and then what do i do.
>>7619508
Is it possible that webm is just a plain chocolate glaze?
>>7618992
Shouldn't bother you, man invented these incredibly high performance machines to do things we can't. You share an awful lot with these same people. Even with all the "robots taking over the world" stuff it's simply a non issue. People surpass any single purpose machine in unimaginable ways
>>7619106
The smartest thing about this guy is that his stop motion is extremly professional. Watch how inconsistent it is, he knows exactly when to add or deduct some frames.
>>7619533
a glaze is sugar, water, and milk, in its most basic form. agents are added to achieve a certain texture and taste in commercial applications.
there's a significant difference between an icing, a frosting, and a glaze.
icing is more like a low-integrity peanut butter.
frosting is starchy and airy.
glaze is sticky liquid.
although i don't doubt a chocolate "glaze" exists out there, one could certainly make it especially with the levels of fermented alcohol based flavors available to us,i have not personally seen or used such. i have made and used lemon glaze, though.
all three come in buckets. glaze, if you turn the bucket over, will pour out, and continue to pour until, interestingly, after enough time, the bucket is clean. icing will, after a long time, under it's own weight, if its a lot of icing, bulge and ooze out, but won't "spill". frosting won't even move. not dense enough. frosting isn't 'wet'. glaze is very wet. icing is marginally wet. more fatty.
you can pick up a big hand full of icing and just hold it there. you can't do that with glaze. glaze is a liquid. icing is a soft solid.
when icing is first scooped from the bucket (you don't have to heat it for every application, but the icing has to be softer than what you're applying it to.) it will shine. as time goes on, that shine dulls as the surface is exposed to air. that exposed layer will not be reconstituted. it just won't it. it'll granulate.
when glaze is exposed to air, very slowly, it will form a film. this film can be seen breaking and running along it when you pour the glaze, however, the film will, if submerged, naturally reconstitute and rehydrate. notice that if you put your finger on a glazed donut, it cracks almost. and under the crack, its a bit sticky. that's the film.
stick your finger onto an chocolate iced cake donut. you can leave a perfect fingerprint if it's fresh, and if it's not fresh, it may "chalk" off, almost a bit like an old hersheys bar.
>>7618291
SALT, PEPPER, OLLIVE OIIIL
>>7618788
thats a fucking dumpling...
>>7618949
Here's another physics lesson for Ja/ck/
But he never learns (and not just because he is a manlet)
>>7616017
I sometimes feel as though I'm the only one to consider "thin chocolate shell with hot chocolate being poured on it to melt it" a meme food.
but then again maybe I just ran into it more than other people. Either way I think it's a stupid gimmick.
>>7619564
Do you think there's any possibility you're coming at this from a position of particularly focussed experience?
>>7619599
What the fuck is he making in this video?
>>7618902
>americans
>>7618306
Wow, your ignorance shines right on through
>>7618449
I will be a happy man the day this shit wad dies the slow, painful death he deserves.
>>7619387
Thanks for the pasta friend
I never though I would witness the wrath of a donut autist, but then I stumbled across this thread
>>7619648
general tsos chicken
>>7618548
>multi-course meal
ur a fuckin' plebmeister
>>7618724
>talk it out of the fridge
Come on cheezy, *kiss* *kiss*
Come on lil' guy, let's play a game!
>>7619705
imagine if you accidentally got picked up and processed while still screaming by one of those things
>>7619715
Sounds like a Twilight Zone episode actually.. well at least the end of one
>>7619729
>>well at least the end of one
but what if it wasn't
what if it was the beginning
>>7619738
D E V I L I S H
>>7616101
Seeing stuff like this is being made for people makes me happy
>>7615993
>tfw I help facilitate the cowlocaust at work.
6 million cattle per year in a low year.
>>7616055
>>7618930
>self replicating molecules
>prokaryote cells
>eukaryote cells
>multi-cellular communes
>tissues
>organs
>behavioral variation
>memory
>social groups
>language
>culture
>agriculture
>urban societies
>machine technology
>"artificial" intelligence
>...
that's evolution
>>7619739
10/10 post
>>7616061
>This removes the anus
>>7618971
It's the purges you have to take into account.
>>7619018
>south asian women don't squat
nigga, you trippin'
>>7619598
Its a calzone, dumbass
>>7618831
chef rule #1:
NEVER CUT TOWARDS YOURSELF!
...but feel free to post results of your attempts
>>7618777
At least you won't have to worry about not having a job. I'm sure the government check/mommy will still keep coming through. Fucking degenerate. Probably never worked a day in your life.
>>7616002
>Do you expect me to talk?
>No, Mr. Bond, I expect you to die.
heard you like tacos in your tacos dag so we put
>>7618902
>>7618456
top lel
>>7616011
>american "cuisine"
Do you guys realise that you're not meant to burn the meat?
>>7619613
I agree. I think that it's a complete gimmick that only impresses plebs.
>>7619293
Absolutely disgusting.
>>7619807
not trying to be contrarian but a chef or cook with decent knife skills can do shit like that no problem. I never cut exactly *towards* myself like in the webm but i do cut under my left hand somewhat frequently, especially when dicing tomatoes and slicing chicken breasts in half.
i'd think rule number one is not to put the knife between your fingers when cutting food, like pic related
>>7616055
What kind of cheese is this?
>>7619599
smother that chicken in some non-newtonian fluid.
>>7620053
It isn't burnt.
>>7616055
>>7620085
Raclette
It's specifically used for that sort of weird shit, although normally not hot dogs.
>>7615848
BUT WHY DOES HE PUT THE BIG PILE OF WHOLE EGGS ON THE HEAT AT THE END?
>>7616055
Fuck America
>>7616313
Dude. Just pass your hand through an open flame really fast and it won't do shit to it. Of course it didn't cook right.
>>7616330
What bothers me is if AI/aliens ever start doing this to us, not even a vegetarian but whenever I see meat processing it makes me question.
>>7616055
that's the worst use of raclette I ever saw
Imagine a car crashing into that and yolk just exploding everywhere.
Also I'm going to be making my egg sandwiches that way from now on.
>>7619807
i don't think that's chef rule number one at all
>>7616132
knife seems pretty blunt
>>7617967
when you want dat der 3rd star
>>7618784
thought it was a mushroom at first
>>7618902
would smash
>>7619061
Not that hard to be the best at mass producing, when we are the only sapient creatures having an industrial society that we know of.
That is like saying "Boy, are humans the best at recording rock music."
Also, you would think bees are pretty good at mass productio too.
>>7615983
spooky
>>7618291
PAN. NICE AND HOT. YOU WANT A NICE SEAR.
>>7616017
I've seen vids of draining cysts on horses that looked like that.
>>7619312
The amount of cooking scrubs on this board always amazes me. theres nothing rotten on it when you trim it. the bacteria forms a film of good mold that keeps the meat from rotting and losing any good stuff.
Its just a well aged cut of steak, tastes a lot more beefy/woodsy than fresh steak.
Both is good. Oh and you are a retard.
>>7615983
>ps4 games cooks you a meal.webm
>>7619564
Shut the fuck up doughnut boy
>>7620613
>>7619106
Is that Jeb!'s guac recipe?
>>7617959
I'd eaten Cheung Fun my entire life and it wasn't until fairly recently that I saw it actually being made. Blew my damned mind, so cool.
>>7619106
The best part of this is the sound-effects and since >no audio you can't appreciate it properly here
>>7620226
Might be a steamer.
>>7616062
imo do this without the cream fraishe, it tastes better
>>7615918
I actually have one of those, they're fucking great.
>>7616005
>FUSS U GO LIKE DIS
>N DEN DIS
>N DIS
>LAK DAT
>NNUP
>HUP
>HOO
>NUT
>N DEN LIKE DIS
>LIKE DAT
>HOOO
fucking martin yan
>>7618548
found the amuhrican
>>7616062
just tried this the other day, life changing event desu
>>7616077
>>7618724
we only moved one reggiano wheel every 3 months or so, but we always bought the good shit that's rested in caves in italy. the work is intensive if you want to waste nothing of your $2000 cheese wheel. here's how we do it for sale:
scrub and sterilize the fucking biro - a giant industrial table saw for meat
then we cut our way through into big wedges; halve those into smaller wedges
brush the cheese dust from each wege into a container for resale (the shit white people buy at the grocery store and call it parmesan)
bang all the wedge corners down so they don't tear through the vac pac
vac pac, weigh, tag every single wedge of that 85lb wheel
then brush the biro and empty its bin of cheese dust and pack and weigh it all
all told it takes about 6-8 man-hours of work to ready that wheel for sale.
>>7619293
what kind of filling is that?
>>7615993
I, for one, welcome our new robot butcher overlords.
>>7620833
it's like I'm really browsing /v/
>>7619654
>satire
>>7619281
it's crema, just like on espresso, it's just coffee
>>7619293
C U M M Y
U
M
M
Y
>>7615983
Chinese Hogwarts
>>7619807
I tried it. Didn't go great (uneven slice thickness and some wedges.) It was an awkward way to cut versus a more traditional downward cut towards the board.
I'll try it again later to attempt to learn this masterful method as soon as my hemostatic gauze arrives.
>>7618965
Can't wait til he dies of heart disease
>>7619654
Pheasants hating on the most successful
>>7618971
She probably throws it all up after
>>7618965
Oh God...
>>7615848
he looks like Tuco!
>>7617967
all that delicate work and it still looks like shit in the end
>>7621055
I was thinking he looks like Niko Bellic.
>>7617903
anus
>>7621174
because he thinks that's great
also jack has about 15000 views per vid
so some people might find him great
>>7621174
He's delusional and thinks he's good at stuff.
>>7621183
He just posts his stuff here.
I don't know why you guys think that people actually get a kick out of this shit. He's probably an "intentional" troll that think he's some hot shit for spamming his garbage on an anonymous Mongolian barbecue forum.
>>7621231
You know he has a youtube 'show', right? Have you seen the comments? Most of them are from people that think he's a goddamn genius. Of course he deletes a lot of the negative comments, so the data's a bit skewed, but still...
>>7619286
>SOMEONE IS GOING TO TRY TO UNCLOG THAT FRYER VAT MANUALLY AND BE BURNED WHEN IT SUDDENLY UNCLOGS AND SPEWS HOT OIL
You seem like the kind of person who's stupid enough to attempt that.
It should be common sense to let the oil cool down.
>>7618840
every egg is an ass egg if it comes from a chicken
>>7617893
>dat oven rise
>dat caramelization
hnng
>>7621231
His "cooking show" is just to promote his garbage sauces. I really doubt he's ever posted here, it's just /ck/ being infinitely triggered by his antics. Jack's even been on television trying to shill his sauces.
>>7619019
install VLC.
>>7620826
you were paying $23/lb for parmesan? how much were you selling it for?
>>7621656
store was connected so we were probably paying around $16-17lb true cost and reselling it to rich dopes for $25
profit on the wheel was probably in the $700 range after paid man-hours deducted but you can only move so much out of a small shop. but on average we sold just shy of a pound a day. nobody's getting rich off a parm wheel but when a regular customer doesn't come by or there's bad weather you can look at the number to cheer yourself up a bit.
>>7619806
actually, it's a panzerotti, shitstain
>>7621231
If you actually believe this you are in fact dumber than Ja/ck/
>>7617967
literally what is the fucking point just eat it