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I need you guys at my finest hour.
Long story short, I have been with a girl for 8 years (we have a 5 year old boy). We broke up 5 mos ago and went no contact minus the child I get on the weekends. It's Christmas time and she has agreed to let me cook for them and "watch an xmas movie". This is my chance. Here's where I need you.
She is on a Keto diet, what should I make? Needs to be decently special. Thanks :)
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You forgot to mention the part where you really need to impress her new boyfriend Jamal, who is the real father of the 5 year old boy.
It was funny the first 2 or 3 times but most people do not share your cuckolding fetish, therefore we are not endlessly sexually aroused by these fantasies as you are.
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>>7188850
Cook what the boy likes with a grown up option of green salad and lean proteins of some kind. seasoned pan fried chicken breast or maybe steak fajitas, etc.
Have a treat ready to go for him as well and above all, just be chill. don't talk about your issues or have any expectations or get all weepy over ahit
>And don't you dare put on a Mickey Christmas Carol that shit is brutal
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>>7188862
Thanks, I wasn't expecting decent advice here, I have a lot of steak around. Like that idea.
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>>7188850
Big plate of brussel sprouts
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Who gives a fuck about her?
Call the kid for his favorite meal that mommy wont let him have. Turn him against her. You're the fun dad and she's the nagging mom who takes care of him.
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>>7188898
He's probably keto because of seizures, so that's a pretty shitty idea
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>>7188898
lol it's like youve been there before.
she calls me a "disney dad". think she picked the term up from reddit or something
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She must smell awful.
Make a baked honey glazed ham, mashed cauliflower "potatoes", mixed oven roasted vegetables, creamed kale.
Look up recipes for an egg nog or pumpkin keto cheesecake/pie. There are lots of recipes out there. Good luck anon.
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>>7188903
I read that wrong lol. Make a turkey (no stuffing) and make gravy with it. She won't be able to have that, but that's her problem given the diet.
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>>7188850
Ask if you can have your son the night in advance so he can help you out and you can teach him some stuff. When she finally comes around, tell her he's gone to the park for a bit. He'll be back soon. Serve her some keto friendly appetizers while she awaits his return.
What's really happening is you're serving up his succulent flesh as a variety of tasty treats. Make her really suffer for leaving you.
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>>7188850
KFC and a cock in her prolapsed salad hole.
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>>7188980
Kek Scott Tenorman
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>>7188986
/B/ turned up.
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>>7188992
i see that
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Just start going to meetings and realize that your addiction was the thing to hold you back the entire time.
No kid is going to look up to a father with bad habits, deal with it, you're a grown man.
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>>7188986
>Not including OP
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>>7189012
Tell us about it, we will listen. It's ok, we're all pals here.
What happened?
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>>7189048
What do you mean, le b8? Of course the man is an addict, he's interested in cooking and frequents 4chan. My guess is he's a chef who does too much coke or drinks too much and his wife finally gave up on giving him ultimatums.
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