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Fuckup Thread

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I'm in culinary school, so I wanted to make something nice to impress my family tomorrow for thanksgiving. I made a chocolate ganache tart in my baking class that came out fucking perfect, I mean really, the shit was banging. So I thought I'd bring that, nice and simple, but delicious.

Long story short I fucked it up making it at home. Somehow, when blind baking my tart shell, it stuck to the foil, the edges were dry and crumbly while the middle was raw and falling apart. I got so frustrated I threw it away and scrapped the whole idea.

I can't explain why I'm so upset about this, I'm sure my mother trying to tell me what went wrong didn't help any.

Anyone have any thanksgiving, or just general cooking fuckups to make me feel better? I guess this is the only thing I've really screwed up and I hate the feeling of wasting things.

Pic related, what my family wont be enjoying tomorrow
i brought rock-hard baked donuts once
post your recipe

4 oz unsalted butter
1.7 oz gran. Sugar
1 egg yolk
6.8 oz pastry flour
Pinch of salt

8 oz heavy cream
4 oz milk
6 oz chocolate
4 T cocoa powder
1 t instant coffee
1 t vanilla extract
1 whole egg
4.5 oz gran. sugar

I couldnt find any pastry or even cake flour, so I made a "substitute" I found online using AP flour and cornmeal to alter the protein content, supposedly this will work quite well in a pinch. The dough came together beautifully. Really not sure HOW it stuck to non-stick foil (yes, I used the right side) that I also sprayed...this was an act of god.
I wanted to get rid of the last bits of some spinach that I had. I got this great idea to throw it in the meatloaf I was planning on making for dinner thinking it would mask the spinach flavor. Came out an abomination.

Very similar to yours, I was making a chocolate pie. The second one I ever made. The first one came out great. I read the recipe over five times and as I went along. I took it off the stove too early and ended up with a pie shell full of chocolate soup. Just ended up eating chocolate soaked pie crust so it wasn't too much of a loss.
fuck-ups happen. live and learn, no crying over spilled milk etc. if you're that intent on having ganache, make another. that's how you get good at baking, repetition.

>I'm in Culinary school
>I can't replicate recipes without my professors there to help

Not tonight, but I'll definitely try again. I guess I shouldnt feel too bad, almost no one makes their own pie crust these days, at least I tried and produced a decent result before I baked it.
>.this was an act of god.

no it wasn't. your 'substitute' was shit. never use a googled substitute in a pinch. baking is an exact science. next time experiment on your own time with a 'substitute' before you use it in a production environment, and don't get so upset if a 'substitute' turns out to be a lemon.
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I've never made any mistakes, sorry.

>it stuck to the foil
If you crumble up a piece of parchment paper repeatedly it becomes pliable enough to conform to the shape of the tart shell easily and it's guaranteed not to stick. I've never used foil.
>the middle was raw
If you blind bake a tart shell in the bottom part of your oven closer to the heating element it cooks almost as quickly as the sides. Also, I don't know what you used as weights, but pennies work a lot better than something like dry beans because they conduct heat much better. This also helps with that problem.

You still have time to make a new one and if you redeem yourself you will feel a lot better.
to elaborate on why it's different - pastry flour is milled finer. adding cornstarch to AP won't magically make the AP granules smaller.
I also thoroughly sifted it.

You think the cornstarch is what made it stick? Because that was literally the only problem, the dough itself was great.

But yes I'm not much of a baker, this was an experiment.
>I couldnt find any pastry or even cake flour, so I made a "substitute" I found online using AP flour and cornmeal to alter the protein content
This is completely unnecessary, AP works fine for a tart shell. There is enough butter in short crust to impede most gluten development
Yeah I guess I didnt think it through or I would have wondered why protein content would matter for a tart shell...

I think I was still shell shocked that I couldn't find any fucking pastry flour anywhere around me.
no, butter likely burnt. that would make it stick. remember that different ovens have different temperments and small variations like room temp and humidity can have an effect. you have to bake frequently to get a feel for an ovens tendencies
>butter likely burnt
What do you mean? He said the middle was raw.
and cornmeal?

do you mean cornstarch? I know pastry flour has less protein content than all-purpose flour and you can sometimes substitute cake flour which also have less protein content with AP flour + cornstarch
Gonna say I'm almost 100% certain the butter didn't burn, there was no burnt smell, and this was after maybe 10 mins at 325 in a convection oven
Yeah starch, sorry. The substitution was to replace 2 tblsp out of every cup of AP flour with cornstarch. I looked this up on my phone at the grocery store today
>tart shell

>so I made a "substitute" I found online using AP flour and cornmeal to alter the protein content,

found the retard
It sounds to me like you simply removed the foil too soon. It doesn't need to be fully cooked, but it needs to be at least set before you try and lift it up. Warm raw tart dough will stick to anything.
This makes sense.

Okay, I'm determined to do this right now
>I'm sure my mother trying to tell me what went wrong didn't help any.
Why is everyone in the food industry a damaged child.
Well maybe you should learn to be prepared. Whenever I make something for the family I always keep enough ingredients in reserve to make a backup or smaller version dish.

Learned my lesson once while making a cheesecake, and only having a cuttingboard as a cool surface dropping it and splattering the still warm cheesecake all over the kitchen. Spent a good 3 more hours making a new one.
You say you're in culinary school but you don't know basic flour and leavening substitutions?

I was always curious what they taught in classes, too busy with business related degrees to have time for them.
Most culinary students go to community colleges. Private culinary schools cost more than private engineering schools, mostly because they're "art" school and can charge 40+K per semester.
>I've never made any mistakes, sorry.
I find that hard to believe, and dangerous because you're supposed to learn from mistakes.

Culinaryfag here. CIA alum 03.

Baking and pastry arts is a major for AOS and BPS. Even when culinary major, pastry baking and confections are mandatory blocks. Fuck.. there's even a block for wines. Can't graduate without it.

OP I'd either still in skills and this is his first Holiday home, or he's lying. There's absolutely no culinary school on the planet that would "push through" a failure. If you're shit, you repeat blocks until you've learned the skills necessary to pass on to the next block.
I've never learned anything either
My best guess it's his first year at a community college.
So if say you or someone else fucks up, you'll have no idea how to rectify the situation? I'm too damn used to management where 90% of the job is just fixing other peoples fuck ups.

Some community colleges have excellent culinary programs with transfers into JWU or the CIA. LCB doesn't accept credits from other universities as its purely a vocational school with no other majors than culinary/baking.

I think he's a green collar CIA kid. He reeks of repeated skills classes. Meh, his wasted money not mine.
I find it funny it seems I know more on baking than him and I just self taught from internet forums.
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>I'm used to leaders fixing my mistakes as a subordinate.

Enjoy your omega status for life.
Welcome to assistant management.

I learned from books and YouTube before I went to culinary school. Also I went to a vocational school called BOCES. Nice program.
I've always considered it but I'm already 4 feet in the hole with loan payments and finishing current degrees.

Do it as continuing adult education when you've established yourself in your field. The CIA does "bootcamps" where you can putz around campus for a week or two learning what you want instead of being crammed into a dozen classes a year. There's one for bread, wines, pastries, Cuisine of the Americas, Italian cuisine etc etc etc.

They're super expensive but they're worth it in the long run to refine your already preexisting skills-set.

What are you studying?
Accounting and minoring in business management but have always had a passion for cooking. One of my good friends who's graduated from culinary school for some time highly recommend getting into culinary management asap if you're in the field. Being under people who don't know shit about their craft sucks.

Yea that's tough. My brother took the CPA exam twice before he finally passed it, now he's a Controller for Margaritaville Restaurant Group (Jimmy Buffets restaurant chain.

High stress job, equal to Chef work. I commend you on your skill-set my friend.

The highest paying field is going to be dietary work specializing in Geriatrics, as the Boomers will all be retiring within the next decade. It'll make you a very in demand person if you decide to get into the Food/Cooking world.

That would be my personal recommendation.
When I said I've never made any mistakes it was intended to be so absurd that no one would take it seriously. Imagine the theoretical person that has never made a mistake and realize no one like that could exist. It was actually intended as an expression of solidarity. Pointing out that we all fuck up sometimes, so don't feel too bad about it.
Just make mousse instead. Everybody likes mousse.
It's "comptroller". It's just pronounced like controller
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>Work nightshifts
>On my days off I stay downstairs and cook my own pizza while family is sleeping
>Family always comes downstairs in the morning and comments on the delightful pizza smells
>Make me promise to cook a pizza for them
>I promise I will
>Finally get some days off
>Able to be awake during the day
>I promise to cook a delicious stuffed crust, meaty style pizza for the whole family, because that is what they wanted
>Start putting the pizza together
>Dough comes out really well
>Sauce comes out really well
>Everything going perfectly
>Start putting the meat toppings on
>Accidentally put in rancid sausage meat
>Cook the pizza
>Smells horrible
>Manage to pick out most of the sausage when I notice what happened
>a lot has melted into the rest of the pizza
>stuffed some sausage meat into the crusts, have to open the hot crust and destroy the pizza to get the sausage meat out
>room smells bad
>pizza is destroyed but put it back in the oven
>get so desperate that I run to the store and buy some microwave mini pizzas, then put them in the microwave and wipe them on the counters to spread a nice pizza smell
>pizza gets burnt
>family comes downstairs
>I serve the pizza
>they look at it disgusted
>dad takes one bite
>smiles and says "Well, I guess Dominoes do 24 hour delivery now... that would explain the nice pizza smells in the night"
>family laughs and walks off leaving the whole pizza
>making some big Thanksgiving meal it took 2 weeks to prep for because meat's gotta brine
>decide to make a cake to go with
>never made this exact recipe before but I know my way around a cake
>make it, fuck yeah it looks perfect on the outside
>after dinner bring it out to the table
>everyone says it looks delicious
>cut into it
>it's raw, fucking raw
>just gooey pudding batter everywhere

I don't know how I fucked it up so bad. I know all about the trick of sticking it with a toothpick to test it, but I guess in the heat of the moment I didn't since it looked so good on the outside, I honestly don't know.

I don't care about grammatical errors in a thread about making a failed chocolate tarte.
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>most culinary students go to community colleges

Most community colleges cannot afford the industrial and commercial cooking equipment necessary to fill that need.

The average person who wants to be an actual Chef with credentials to back it up go to Culinary School.

A vocational certificate in Culinary Arts has a s much clout as an AOS from a no-named flyover "cuggin' class".

The calibre of their Chefs is also something to scoff at. Sorry you couldn't get student tuition assistance or loans from a bank to matriculate at a university with a good reputation.
Concur, even JWU professors wouldn't just shove the dipshits through to the next lab. Plenty of people who repeated protein fabrication course.
Just made a perfect batch of brownies and fucked up by forgetting to grease the pan. Please jesus save them :(:(:(

Freeze them, then after a few hours pry it out of the pan in one solid piece, shock the brownies with scalding hot water to release it from it's ceramic prison. Then WA LA! Freed brownies.
If this works I will vouch for you at the gates of heaven.
did it work
lava cake :^)
will it work if not ceramic?


This thread is from last night, hope OP's brownies came out of the pan.
I was making a stew in the slow cooker, took a while getting it all just so and I poured in the flavouring I'd mixed up but it was actually the dumpling mix that hadn't been formed into dumplings. Turned it all into a concrete mess.
> 17 at the time
> Just getting into cooking
> Decide I'm going to make pumpkin cheesecake for Thanksgiving
> Mom tells entire extended family for some reason
> It's fine, baked cheesecake in water bath the night before; looked great when I put in fridge
> Thanksgiving day, I'm shrugging off "hey there MASTER CHEF" comments from wave after wave of doucher relatives
> Everyone eats and then its time for dessert
> Get up to get cheesecake; everyone cheers, fat uncle "WOO WOO WOO'ing," pumping his fist
> Get cheesecake from fridge, cut into it
> Knife goes through too easily
> Pool of water at the bottom of the pan
> Water bath had leaked into the cheesecake and I hadn't noticed
> Cheesecake soppy mess
> Tell my family what happened
> "How do you get WATER in a CHEESECAKE? HA!"
> "You're not getting rid of us that easy, let's taste it anon!"
> Try to explain, everyone is too busy yelling comments
> People swarm into the kitchen and start grabbing watery slices
> "Anon I don't think you cooked this all the way"
> "Needs to be cooked more anon!"
> "Guess you're not the cheesecake king after all!"
> mfw I never wanted to be the cheesecake king I just wanted to try making cheesecake
OP is kill?

I've fucked up a different dessert once and now request that my mom doesn't tell others what I'm bringing or that I'm bringing anything at all.
I'm glad I only cook for myself, because I would have murdered everybody in the room for talking shit like that.
my friend went to culinary school, got a job on a food truck while in school. now has graduated and is unemployed.

so I guess going to culinary school was her fuck up
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>Guess you're not the cheesecake king after all!
oh god
I was looking for a good recipe for peanut butter muffins because I was craving them like mad a few years ago and my sister went bonkers when I asked if she'd eat them. Long story short, not sure what happened. Smelled like heaven, looked great.... fell to bits completely. Let them cool and it was still just crumbling everywhere. I wasn't going to waste it so I combined it with some leftover crusty bread and tried to make a bread pudding.... apparently there was too much fat content because it was like hot, thick soup. Upon tasting it went into the trash. Didn't look it but tasted like Satan's burned asshole smeared with peanut butter. Best guess is that the recipe called for crisco and I have no idea how long it had been in the cabinet. Eventually found better, heavenly recipe for same thing

honestly though, how do you put sausage on a pizza and in the crust without smelling that it's rancid
Culinaryfag anon what was the cia like? Always wanted to go but I am poorfag. Please tell us of glorious adventures and skills so we can focus on something great instead of op trying to tell us about some shitty tart story so he feels better.
Thread posts: 65
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