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Chili tales

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Thread replies: 18
Thread images: 6

>sunday
>clean out freezer
>find 4lb leftover smoked brisket
>decide to make a big pot of chili
>add lots of habaneros
>shitload of beans too because why not
>spend the whole day eating bowl after bowl of chili
>haven't even taken a shit in the morning
>couple beers in the evening
>watching netflix
>chomping down that chili
>mfw I've eaten most of it by myself
>not even enough left for a decent lunch
>eat the rest too

>monday
>still can't shit for some reason
>breakfast at wendys
>coffee and a couple smokes
>work as first aid instructor
>have to give a class at 9am
>feel bloated as fuck because all dat chili
>maybe I shouldn't have eaten these 2 sausage egg burritos
>nothing I can do about it tho
>arrive at site
>some factory making car parts
>have to teach them basic first aid
>set up first aid mannequin
>employees i'm supposed to teach arrive
>feel like shit but a man gotta do what he has to do
>bend over mannequin to demonstrate mouth to mouth resuscitation
>suddenly feel all dat chili
>all these beans
>crack a monstrous fart
>whole room silent
>all staring at me
>smell is nauseating
>feel my bowels move again
>can't even get up
>let out another big one
>mfw when it's not a fart
>tfw you shit yourself in public
>liquid shit spilling out of my pants
>keep farting
>>
>Eat chile
>mouth burn
>8 hours later
>poop burn

end
>>
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my God op wtf
>>
>>7075069
wost part is that i've given lots of classes there over the years and i doubt they'll hire me again even if i could bring myself to show my face there
>>
>>7075062
why do i think this is gonna end up on r/4chan?
>>
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> be me like a year ago
> gf and I live in five bedroom house alone
> received bjs on every surface of it
> one day she starts talking about girl from her work that just escaped an abusive relationship
> please anon she has nowhere to go and we have all these rooms
> ok fine bitch
> abuse chick moves in
> she looks like a biker and drives a loud asf Toyota 4 runner (pic related)
> nobody tells me she has a four year old son until after the fact
> she constantly dumps the kid on me to "go to work"
> bitch says she started working at 7 eleven now but I doubt it
> found out that the kid is not potty trained
> she won't buy him diapers
> he pisses and shits on every thing
> all the time
> called him Edward Smellric
> he thinks Santa Claus is his dad
> mom doesn't buy food and feeds him cheerios from a dog dish
> gets mad if you give him real food
> eventually I found out she had two kids before that
> one lives with paternal grandparents
> she traded the other for the truck she has
>>
Wendy's has breakfast?
>>
>>7075234
Because you're gonna post it there for dat dere Karma
>>
>>7075252
Please no
>>
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>>7075282
>>
>>7075252
haha you're always here
>>
>>7075252
Spicy water there we are done with that.
>>
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>>7075062

wonderful story

>>7075252

This pasta has nothing to do with the thread...
>>
Eating chili is just asking for it
>>
>>7075435
spicy water?
>>
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>>7075252
>>7075435
>>7076589


There is a variation of this pasta where the kid drinks bleach aka "spicy water"
>>
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>>7075062
>he puts beans in his chili
>>
>>7078040
Fuck off
Thread posts: 18
Thread images: 6


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