> be me > go to McDonald's by myself and order $30

>>7027024

why not take it to your car or home and eat in peace

>>7027026
because it's a bait thread

At least she didn't see you in the parking lot eating in your car.

"food"

>>7027024
I feel like this at the liquor store

"having a party...haha"

>>7027122
That is the lowest tier a human can reach.
Truly pitiful.

>>7027172
>that feel when you buy a case of 40oz that last you about 4 days and the guy says wow gonna have a crazy college party eh?

>>7027180
Why would you buy a case of 40's? Just get 2 30 racks of natty ice

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>>7027024
Fuck me you just reminded me. legit saw something like this once

>in shitty corner shop after college
>fat fuck comes in and picks up about 10 chocolate bars and other shit
>piles them on the counter in front of me
>starts going on about how he needs to buy all this chocolate because his kids will nag him and what have you
>says his kids will brings friends after school so he buys sweets to keep them quiet
>after I payed for my shit and walked down to the bus stop, I saw him get into his van and sit there stuffing his face with chocolate
>ate the whole lot and drove off
>not even in the direction of the local school

It was legitimately fucking uncomfterble to stand there and listen to lie about his gluttony. Holy shit

Fat fucks get your shit together

>>7027215
just a habit been drinking this way for years now

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>>7027122
>tfw I bought a ton of mcdolands when I was extremely into my fat and feeding fetish and I swear someone saw me looking at porn while I ate in my car in an empty parking lot somewhere for motivation

>>7027268
ive did this shit before when i was drunk and went to taco bell acted like i was taking a order for the "office" at work and yes i was loaded at 1pm

>>7027177
>not eating french fries while you're enjoying the radio
plebe

>>7027122
See, this would have been more believable OP. 2/10 try harder next time.

>be skinny
>go to mcdonalds
>order 2 mcdoubles, 2 spicy mcchickens, and small fries
>all me
>fat cashier looks at me in jealousy and disgust

>>7027024
>Go to my country's variation on Not-McDonald's
>Order the biggest meal, large and with extra drinks
>Eat there without feeling guilty
>Nobody judged me with their eyes as far as i know

Have a spine and it will be fine no matter how much you eat. Remember: You have the money to eat a lot, so they should feel jealousy, not pity

>>7027332
This is key. You do a reverse fatty. You know how fat people like to put on a show and eat very little in front of others, then when no one is looking, they stuff their fillets with secret shame?

Do the reverse, eat sensibly small meals most of the time, then when the fatties ate watching, eat a fuckhuge meal. Watch the wheezing rage ensue.

>>7027273

I get that. Not really an alcoholic myself, but we used to exclusively drink 40s in high school (now in my mid-twenties), and I still occasionally pick up a couple 40s for nostalgia

>>7027343
> fillets
> ate

Was supposed to say gullets and are. Stupid fat fingers.

>tfw you see a skinny girl become fat before your eyes

the difference is horrifying and really makes me want to lose more weight to get a gaunt face

>>7027024
Try doing this while not being visibly fat you lardwhale.

>>7027268

>being in shape
>not being fat and obese

>>7027354
>>tfw you see a skinny girl become fat before your eyes

That is literally my fetish

>>7027024
Wow you are a gilthy obese pig. Kill yourself. Or next time eat in shame in your fucking house retard

>>7027215
natty ice isn't 8.1% ABV

>>7027268
I had a similar thing happen when I was working in a shop; we had some fairly small chocolate bars on sale for quite cheap, and a fat guy came in bought about 40 of them. Gave a whole story about how they were such a great bargain and they'd last him ages. Knew he'd devour them in a matter of days.

>>7027354

That's happened to a girl at my uni, really fucked up to see someone who was reasonable just balloon to fat as fatass so fast. Shame, she used to be sorta cute but now she's just a ball really.

Man, this troll pasta is fucking garbage compared to Fatty McAutism or Irish Stew Guy.

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>get off work
>go to mcdonalds
>get 20 piece nugs, large fries, and a double cheese
>eat it all in my car
>drive to taco bell
>place order
>as I'm driving up to the window frantically hide McDonald's trash so taco bell employees don't see them and judge me
>eat taco bell meal in my car
>drive home
>stuff all fast food trash down into the bottom of outside trash can
>go inside and eat dinner with wife and kids
>

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>>7027738
Also
>go to McDonald's
>go through the drive-thru
>eat large meal in my car
>still hungry
>want more McDonald's
>don't want to go through drive-thru again
>go inside and order second meal at counter
>hope none of the drive-thru employees look over and see me ordering again
>they do

>answering what it is for
>instead of just saying "i guess?"

Back when I was fat, I used to make up excuses all the time; but I tended to have enough willpower to get home before I gourged

Fast Food: "Would be nice if I didn't get stuck ordering for everyone."

Convenience store: "Having a Roulette party. Everyone buys one thing in bulk at chance. I have to buy the chips and chaser."

Or I fake being stoned.

Fuck those were pathetic days. Happy I took control of myself again.

>>7027434
>waiting for the excuses
Oh wait, being fat is your excuse.
You're even a lazy fuck when it comes to your arguments

>>7027177
>stuffing your face cause you can't control your eating habit
>lowest tier a human can reach

1st world problems

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How i order my food: "FUCK YEAH ITS ALL FOR ME YOU TERRORIST FUCK! AMERICA FUCK YEAH! FAT AND PROUD. Don't like it? FUCK YOU! and have a nice day"

Get proud, you pussies!

>>7027172
I did that recently. Picked up a handle of rum, went through it in 2 days. Went back to the store and the same cashier was standing there. I said I was buying liquor for the house. Now I go to 4 different stores in a pattern for my liquor due to how much I drink.

Nothing to do with fatness, but...

>hanging out at friends house
>want some wine
>nearest place to get some is a fucking wholefoods
>looking for their cheapest wine because poorfag
>employee asks if I need help
>"Uh, yeah. I'm looking for your cheapest red wine. I'm gonna be making a wine reduction pan sauce with my steak, so I was thinking maybe Burgundy or Cabernet Sauvignon. Just need it for cooking, haha."
>Wow! Sounds great, right over here.
>Thanks
>drink almost an entire bottle of 6 dollar wine
The shame, and I'm not even an alcoholic.

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>>7028029
>and I'm not even an alcoholic
Ah, classic denial.

Embrace the liquor. Become the liquor.

>be me
>buy 8 happy meals
>"haha kids having a pool party"
>go out to my car
>drive 200 feet to the stop and shop nearby
>climb into the back seat
>get into the sleeping bag
>turn on the speakers and start playing bowie
>throw all of the toys into my collection in the trunk
>eat all of the fries and then eat the burgers once they've cooled down

true bliss

>>7028170
wtf... maximum autism

>>7027738
I can't even eat more than 10 nuggets without feeling bloated and full for the rest of the day what the fuck man

>>7027024
I do this like every day and I'm a skinny rich guy

You people have these elabourate fantasies about what people think about you.

No one thinks about you at all. So either be comforted or terrified. People have their own goddamn lives to live. Do YOU obsess about anyone but yourself?

>>7027442
Why?

>>7028592

people who live entropic lives like to be surrounded by that type of decay.

>>7028586
>No one thinks about you at all
Is that why's there are threads dedicated to laughing at retards like you? Fuck off back to reddit.

>>7027026
OP here

I don't have a car and I have roommates at home so it would be uncomfortable

>>7027738
Once I ordered a pizza and ate it in my car, then drove to mcdonalds and got a bic mac burger, put the pizza box in the backseat. I really don't give a fuck what people think. Fuck em.

>>7028620
Fat, unkempt, basement dwellers posting threads about normal people?

You don't say.

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The cashier gives no fucks who you are ordering the food for, he just wants to finish his shift and go home

why even bother lying to him or explaining

how do you spend $30 at mcdonalds?

I came here to laugh, instead I got really sad

>>7028899
Order two meals in Manhattan.

>>7027292
Fuckin NPR is my eating jam.

>>7027738
i used to do things kind of like this, but not quite on this level. only ever ate 2 meals, not 3+

>>7028170
N E E T
E
E
T

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>>7027172
Happened tonight a few hours ago
>Bringing tonight's alcohol to the cashier at CVS
>New cashier, kind of qt girl about my age
>"You must be having a party huh?"
>Look her in the eye
>"No."
>She doesn't make eye contact with me again.
Actually feels kind of bad man. I should have lied and just feigned normie, but I got tired of that years ago.
At least she won't bother me any more with small talk when I'm buying my alcohol. I just want to get in and get out, don't ask how I'm doing or if I found everything okay.

>>7028955
Yikes anon... what was the purchase? I drink a bunch too but I'm curious what 'tonight's alcohol' covers

>>7029024
12 pack Blue Moon and 2 bottles of red wine.

>>7029031
I haven't drunk twelve beers since freshman year of college. If you switch to liquor you'd save money and calories

>>7029033
I know, I'm trying to save my liver. The volume of twelve beers versus that same volume in liquor would absolutely destroy me. I can make myself stop drinking if my stomach is feeling bloating pains.

>>>/fit/

read the sticky fam, read it twice.

Change starts today.

>>7029036
haha i remember being 21

>>7029151
I'm actually 23 but I'm sure I'll get to your point eventually.

>>7027268
Why would you even bother to lie when buying candy. When I worked as a cashier I gave zero fucks about what people bougth.

It's like buying a fleshlight and saying: "It's for a friends birthday...haha"

>>7028170
Why do you collect the toys? Is it to lure kids into your car+

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k5gQ_rruDmc

I used to work retail. This is spot on.

I have a thing where I stop at McDonalds, get a 20 pc nugget with Buffalo sauce and a coffee before going food shopping.

Feels fat man

This is now a Fatties Anonymous thread.

>>7027625
irish stew guy is hilarious.

fatty mcautism i am not aware of. can you post it or give me a brief explanation. thank you

>>7027738
this is very similar to me when i was very fat. now i'm just fat. sometimes i think back at how i used to eat alone and in shame and depressed and makes me really sad.

i wasted some years of my life >>7027750
aren't thery mcdonalds all over the place. just drive to a different one

>>7029190

that's not a bad idea to be honest, as long as you're full. You make the worst purchasing decisions if you shop while hungry.

>>7029190
not McDonalds but I feast at KFC before shopping because if I go shopping hungry I'll buy the whole shop

>>7029979
Yeah, can't say I grab 20 nugs each time, but I always try to have a small meal before grocery shopping. I thought that was pretty common.

>>7029183

I'm building a woman

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>>7030194
>>7030194
shine on, crazy diamond

>>7028586
Yeah, have you been to people of Wal-Mart website? Do you not see the pictures of people looking stupid circulating the internet? People do care what others are doing. They need to find the new meme to viral

>>7030102
I usually do it drunk
I have a lot if pickles and steaks

>>7027998
>ough it in 2 days. Went back to the store and the saMe...Now I go to 4 different stores in a pattern for my liquor due to how much I drink.

Stores near me are all owned by the same company. They rotate the employees instead.>>7027998

>>7027998
I can guarantee that the cashier at the liquor store doesn't get paid enough to give a fuck how much liquor you buy or how often you buy it.

Sounds like a lot of extra work on your part for no reason other than paranoia.

>>7029036
Me too. I avoided some weight gain switching to booze, but after 10 years my liver is so fucked that if I wear a t-shirt my right side is noticeably bigger. If you rub the surface of it, you can feel the nodules poking up. Stick with the beer.

>>7029910
They are both retarded. Not a single thing funny about them. Not even a giggle at just how unfunny they are. If you come here to have someone endorse what you should or shouldn't laugh at, is still not funny. Stick with lobster cleats.

>>7027963
Hello reddit

>>7028302
But that's the thing, stomachs expand.

It's why i can drink 12 beers.

>>7028955
That reminds me of Francis Bacon, wtf? x_x

>>7029158
35, and you don't have to escalate it. I still binge on beer 90% of the time.

>>7027340
this isnt midevil times you fat fuck, no one envies you for being fat on food, they pity and loathe you you fucking waste of space

>>7027998
>>7030421
I do this too and cashiers at every store stopped asking for my ID because they know me already anyway
feels bad man

>>7027268
>talking to the cashier

Is this normal in the US?

>>7030272
Ok this is unrelated but anyone know where I can get the broodwich episode of Aqua Teen Hunger Force without paying for Hulu?

>be me
>post on /ck/
>make a post about food
>wish i was just asking you all about sucking my cock

>Go to Taco bell
>Want to order a "quesarito"
>Don't know how to say it
>Don't want to seem like a retard
>Just get tacos instead

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>Hate people who call complete strangers by nickname
>What can I get for you, chief?
>How's it going, boss?
>You're up next, sport
I'd prefer to gun them down in front of their wailing families. However, I began using insults while smiling
>Give me a second, knucklehead :D

I haven't figured out a better retort.

>>7031543
Yea my super market does it, not all though depends on the person. I think it helps them make time for faster by making small talk

To be honest I don't eat at fast food places because I don't feel comfortable going alone.

>>7027024
>>7027172
>>7027268
>>7027286
Why say anything AT ALL about what you're gonna do with what you buy, it's not really any of the cashier's business
Sure, you can make small talk if you're non-autistic want to, but it's not like it's a necessity

You don't buy condoms either and go "haha yeah, I'm gonna fuck someone with those not just make wacky balloon animals or anything"

>>7031765
what a sensitive little snookums. hang in there champ

>>7030562
>midevil

>>7031945
this

>>7031565
http://www.watchcartoononline.com/anime/aqua-teen-hunger-force

>>7027122
>that fatty mcautism joke that nobody got

>>7027122
I do this all the time. I don't give a fuck if people think I'm autistic.

It's usually faster in the drive through and my car is comfortable. Why get out and have to go inside with all the fat mothers and whiny children.

>>7028029
2 buck chuck man. trader joes.

>>7028029
What's wrong with drinking a bottle of wine?

>>7028302
I always feel bloated and shit after eating a mcdonalds but i'll be hungry again in 2 hours. I'm not even overweight it just isn't filling.

>>7027332
>don't be obese
>order 10 double cheese burgers
>cashier is almost impressed
>eat them
Unfair really, what's looked as a mildly impressive feat of gastric stamina is looked as disgusting gluttony for fat people

>>7027738
Mirin' bulk m8

Crack head here

Fucking fags lmao boo how I drink too much

Pussies

>>7027818
>Justifying your purchases to someone that wouldn't care if you had a brain haemorrhage right in front of them by saying you're going to a special party with special rules
I would respect you more if you scraped the cheese off discarded pizza boxes.

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>>7031691
You won't believe how many people fuck up pronunciations for everything and how we fucking laugh at them.