General cringe/horror stories thread, go!

>replay conversation I just had with a stranger in my head
>cringe

How's that?

>>9294015
Aaand that's why you never accept food/beverage from strangers.
Some autist at my HS actually came into a girls coffee once and she drank it.

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Cosplay was a mistake.

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>>9294343
>she drank it
did she ever find out?
what happened to the autist?

>>9294349
>did she ever find out?
What do you think anon?
>what happened to the autist?
Expelled, heard he tried to join the military later.

>>9294346
None of them have the faces for the characters, plus the lighting isn't helping, but I don't think it's bad enough to be in the cringe thread.

>>9294356
>Expelled, heard he tried to join the military later.
What is with weebs and the military? I knew a creeper in HS as well and he joined the Navy

>>9294371
Shitty people join the military because the US military will essentially accept any dumbass who can do a pull-up into their ranks. It's a "job" that always has openings, requires no skills, and pays okay.

The military is literally just republican welfare. Most people who join get given bullshit jobs with busy work. What your average person in the military does is almost completely unnecessary.

Lastly, it attracts weebs because they want to be an anime hero. In the US we're supposed to treat all past and present military members like they're heroes who did some service for the country, when in actuality they're just people who were too dumb to get a real job and were given some busy work for their republican welfare money.

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>>9294383
Someone is mad they can't even do one pull-up

>>9294386
Ex-marine here. Nope. Just pissed I wasted so many years of my life doing useless shit with radios. I also know I'm not a fucking "hero" just because I wore a snappy uniform sometimes and followed (and eventually gave) bullshit orders.

The only useful thing you actually do in the military is work out. And I mean you're not even gonna do much of that if you join the chair force.

Gross warning:
>get wisdom teeth emergency pulled about a week before a con, off of painkillers and lucid again for the con
>have to keep taking antibiotics for about half a week after they're out
>the antibiotics give me a yeast infection the first day of the con
>period is also ending as the con starts
>no time for a doctor visit, go buy an otc vaginal antifungal cream
>apply it as directed (at night only)
>go about my business as normal the next day of the con
>cream and blood starts sliding out, it's like a vulva slip n slide down there
>whyme.jpg
I also hate hate hate wearing pads/panty liners, they feel gross and diaper like

>>9294387
thank u 4 ur service anon

>>9294387
Thank you for your cervix, simbah fidelis

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>at medium sized anime convention
>go to one of the show-themed meetups, was cosplaying as midousuji from yowapeda
>Eventually strike up a conversation with one of the girls there
>Stereotypical overweight fujoshit
>Asks me where I get my anime from
>"nyaa, bakabt, usual places"
>I ask the same question back to her
>"Netflix"

>>9294346
Where'd she steal that baritone from? Certainly doesn't play it, holding it like that.

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>>9294386
I wish I could do a pull-up

Working on it

>>9294538
Are you a guy? Please say you're a guy so i can laugh at you.

>>9294410
Tampon...? Menstural cup...? Why make the con a nightmare on purpose??

>>9294410
Wait you don't wear panty liners ?? Don't you ruin panties that way. Ew

>>9294410
Yo anon, this sound really gross but, shove a clove of garlic up there and slather your vulva in coconut oil. Pair that with a probiotic and that's how I help myself through my yeasties.

>>9294383
>>9294387
Because you get to see the world.
Sorry exmarine that your job was bullshit, not everyone's is and you should stop talking like a little bitch since you didn't see your buddy get shot through the throat and bleed out.

>>9294592
Your buddy died for nothing more than corporate greed. And yeah, everyone's job is bullshit in the military. Your busy work just happened to be more brutal than mine. You're not a hero for it.

Also, bullshit, we don't get to see the world. We get to see shitty little pieces of America that were presumptuously placed in other countries. Most motherfuckers barely leave the base unless it's to drink or try to fuck locals. And the locals don't fucking want us there. Ever get stationed in Oki?

>>9294592
>>9294640
Military brat currently stationed in Germany here. Can confirm, locals (correctly) think Americans are annoying, who barely leave the base, which is basically mini-America. I'd say that at least teens here are somewhat less ignorant as a result of living in a different country, but I wouldn't say we're "seeing the world".

>>9294410
Damn, you were really determined to go to the con.
Or I guess that's what it's like to be a girl(?). Idk.

Oldie but goodie:

>cosplaying from D.Gray-man in like 2009
>girl runs up to me and does a full on glomp while screaming about the character
>need to get my wallet out a few minutes later
>it's fucking gone

tl;dr she stole it because she was cosplaying her DGM original character so not steal who was a pickpocket before she became an exorcist and she was role playing with me. Except, yanno, she didn't tell me first.

>>9294468
underrated post

>>9294371
It's a place for people who don't have anything else to do, really. I know a lot of driven, charismatic people who have gone into the service. I also know just as many near-dropouts with no redeeming traits that ended up slinging cargo. A couple of them still hang around the con scene and try to pick up chicks with the whole ex-serviceman schtick.
Also it helps that it's instant credibility, both socially and professionally. Even the greasiest, most obnoxious shitler gets a moment of respect if people know they're military.

>>9294592
>Because you get to see the world
You'll get to see the inside of a c-130 outside of Fort Worth. Don't lie to people like that, anon.

>>9294747
Did you find her and get your wallet back?

>>9294581
its fucking underwear, who cares

Requesting screen caps of that ancient horror story about the crazy high school girl named Baby who wore lolita and seduced that chubby virgin

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>>9295064

I'm still convinced that a seagull wrote this because of all the small details I don't expect the average chubby nerd robot to mention like mint, brand, bloomers, blouse, mary jane shoes, etc.

>>9295124
is there a more easy to read version?

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>>9294383
>Lastly, it attracts weebs because they want to be an anime hero
Not gonna lie, part of the reason I'm finally going to college is because I want to be a jet pilot like in my 80s annie mays

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>>9294584
>First, we're gonna massage this woman's vagina to prep it. I like to get mine fresh from my local market, so I'm going to have to use a razor to remove extra hairs, unlike the ones in plastic you can get at the supermarket.
>Coat your right hand with a little bit of olive oil to help with the next step.
>Then, two fingers. Up the vagoo.
>Take your other hand, and push the garlic in there. you just want to... lean into there. Let your two fingers do the work.
>Separately, in a bowl, mix two eggyolks, coconut oil, and a pinch of salt and pepper. >Whisk the whites in a separate bowl until stiff and fold it into the main mixture.
>Take a branch of fresh, delicious, rosemary and coat the vulva with the cream we just prepared, really get it in there.
>Now, to take this to the -next level-, I like to use a little bottle of yakult, and plug it into the bagina, and hang it upside down in the fridge so it can drain into it overnight.
>It's the next day, and the flavours really have had the chance to...mix... and....comibine together *gesticulates*.
>Lastly, I like to wrap the entire thing in puff pastry, then coat it with some molten butter, and make a couple of swift cuts on the outside for decoration.
>In the oven, at 200 degrees for 45 minutes. >Serve with fava beans and a nice chianti wine.

>>9295124
Yeah this was 100% written by a lolita not a dude
Fun read I guess though

>>9295027
I have friends still stationed in England, Germany, Japan, and Good Korea. Once again sorry your job options sucked. Not everyone gets losers jobs state side, just don't be a loser.

>>9294410
>>9294410
>not wearing a panty-liner when you have a minefield down there
I know you don't like them but considering you were using antifungals and still bleeding/spotting, it's just unhygienic on your part

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>>9294383
You actually gave me cancer holy shit. I'm not going to say some jarhead marines dont exist but the requirements to enlist are pretty high. Even after you enlist you have both physical and mebntal training before being put in to a roll. A lot of jobs are specialized, especially in the navy and air force. Operating a ships heating system might not be a glamorous job but it's necessary to operate a 3 million dollar ship. Non coms might come off the street but they have to show aptitude to raise up the ranks. Every officer is at least college educated and receives even more training in the military. So the idea that military is for dummies is actually laughable.

>>9294383
You are actually retarded.

>>9295168
VAG.
NICE AND HOT.
OLIVE OIL.
GARLIC.
IN THE WAZOO.
BRILLIANT.

>>9295034

That's how I got the whole story about her OC Do Not Steal. Scared the shit outta her in the process, doubt she ever did it again.

>>9295338
Tell me why they're wrong. Nothing they have said can be disputed with anything but jingoism.
The only people who join the American military in 2017 are
A) willing to kill brown people for money
B) too stupid to do anything else in life
C) simply too dumb to understand we haven't fought for anything other than capitalism and oil since 1945

>>9295168
I'm going to kms, this is the last thing I ever want my eyes to see.

>>9295046
Underwear is not cheap

>>9295355
war is politics by other means~Carl von Clausewitz

In other words get off your moral high horse. Every war in history is about resources and economics. Having an over aggressive megalomaniac as an enemy just makes war easier to sell.
B] The 'brown people' parts of the world is currently where conflict is happening. The U.S would gladly just trade with the region if they were stable. They arent and that's a whole geopolitical conversation but dont be so foolish as to think it just about 'lol brown people'
C] the u.s. has the most technologically advanced military in the world. You dont operate that with a crew of idoits.
D] i'll grant that there is a debtor's prison aspect to enlistment. Those who are economically disadvantaged tend to enlist at higher rates. That said those with aptitude normally excell. My friends husband signed up due to a lack of opportunies coming from a poor small town. He is now getting a double degree on hos gi bill.

So please shut the fuck up.

>>9295355
Alos just a special aside
>willing to kill brown people for money

So it would some how be more altruistic if soldiers fought without being paid? Like you're a special kind of stupid arent cha?

>>9294410
what the hell kind of panty liners are you wearing that they feel like a diaper? You can't even tell they're there when you slap one on. This whole situation was preventable on so many levels

Happening right now:
>mom rings me up saying she got a message about how a parcel will be delivered
>she says she isn't waiting for anything so it must be mine
>it's 6pm but alright i am hyped
>suddenly
>bowels start growling
>please not now
>rush to the toilet in pain,lift my pettis and drop my bloomers and panties as fast as i can
>it won't come out
>the pain gets worse
>as i finally manage to release a bit doorbell rings
>for the love of god no
>more pain
>the time i rush out of the bathroom, holding my shit in with some paper in my panties to avoid any leakage or disaster and open the door as quick as i can he's gone
>rush back to toilet to finally feel the pain go away as well as what was left inside
>proceeds to hate myself
Why

>>9294558
I use the cup normally. The directions on the antifungal said not to use tampons until you're done with the treatment so I assume that applies to the cup as well

>>9295476
not that anon, but are menstrual cups the same as the brand 'Mooncup'? I used to try to use one 7+ years ago but it always chafed my insides. Tried trimming the end as leaflet suggested but that exacerbated the issue; have they changed much?

>>9295444
Congratulations on your scat and/or sissy fetish, please keep that to yourself next time.

>>9295516
the fuck are you talking about?

Anyway apparently it wasn't even something i had ordered in the end apparently so I just hated myself over nothing.
But man I got scared to get some actual shit on my brand

>>9295295
Then explain all the mediocre high schoolers that go straight into the military.

>>9295376
Pack of five for $3

>>9295608
A lot of them are kids that were also in ROTC which helps you get into the military and sometimes at a higher rank than normal.

You can also take the ASVAB and if you score high (which is damn easy, I took it myself) you can get into the military pretty easy.

>>9295608
Also after getting into the military depending on what you do or want to do they will send you to school for it.

My dad started in the air force as a guy who just woke up one day and realized he had no way to support his new family. his first job in it was working in the post office and he ended as a medic with degrees that had been over seas a few times and was now teaching other medics.

>>9294343
>>9294015

Holy crap that's my story. It's been forever since I saw that! The artist basically nailed it but in my defense it was someone I knew (tolerated) and it was a prepackaged good I saw him open. He splerged out pretty hard. He also once made me a "mix tape" of his favorite metal music synced to a mix of furry porn and boku no pico

>>9295485
You probably needed a smaller cup and/or a softer cup. You shouldn't be able to feel them at all when they're in.

There's a lot of youtube videos comparing different brands on youtube, maybe take a look if you're interested.

>>9295168
This wasn't what I expected with my advice, but ilu anon.

Briddy gud military thread.

>getting into the military is hard
They take anyone with a pulse...

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>>9295699
I tried to join the Navy. I didn't want to pay for college, so I took the asvab and got a 91 and my recruiter wanted me to do the nuke subs.
Went through meps, and they made me take a psyche evaluation because I have a scar on my chest that they thought was self inflicted.
They determined I was depressed, and I wasn't able to join.
I'm in my junior year of uni now, but sometimes I feel kind of bad that I wasn't even able to get into the military.

I was at the opening ceremony for my favorite convention. The conchair was greeting everyone and talking about whatever, when her little kid (who I think was four or five at the time) sees her mommy on stage and gets all excited. This cute little girl runs on stage to interrupt the speech, hug her mom and say hi to everyone. it was pretty adorable. Cue the appropriate levels of "aww" from everyone around us except for one chick behind us who let out an ear-piercing "OMG SO KAWAIIIIIII"

I know it was an anime con, but still. I wanted to die

>>9295128

What do you mean, more easy to read? It's pretty huge if you open it all the way in a new tab. Did you need something smaller?

>>9295699
They sure dont. When we are in a time of war its easier to get in because they want more people to send off, but even though we are still fighting overseas, we are not technically at war.

During these times you will find waitlists to get into the military depending on what branch you want, and besides that if they decide you are unfit mentally or physically they will boot you.

My fiance tried to get into the Navy and they booted him because his liver apparently had a problem he didnt even know about.

>>9294387
sorry you joined the wrong branch

>>9295027
>You'll get to see the inside of a c-130 outside of Fort Worth.

so far i've been stationed on guam and soon to be japan. already been all over southeast asia during underways.

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>on cgl
>looking for some juice cringe stories
>idiots fighting over how hard it is/isn't to join the military

>>9295699
I was rejected from ROTC because of asthma. You're objectively wrong.

>>9295770
Eh, I think anon's point was that it's not comparable to actual travelling. Yeah you're in another country but you're still on a military base majority of the time.

>>9295748
Why are you engaged to a guy who can't even make it into the military?

>>9295797
fat people get desperate

>>9294665
Seconding. I visited family friends once, who were stationed right outside of Tokyo. They had been there for nearly a year, and had never visited the city. When I suggested we take a walk through the town where the base was, they said "why would you want to do that?"

>>9295124
God bless, anon. I've been searching all over for this.

>>9295797
>>9295805
TIL an unforeseen liver problem means you are fat and desperate.

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>>9295815
Have you ever seen how someone looks with liver problems?

No one who is attractive would date someone like that.

>>9295786
true if you live on base. right now we do spend the majority of our time on base because we live on base. but once we move to japan, we're getting OHA and renting a house.

I never realized there were so many /k/cgl crossboarders.

>>9295168
10/10

A lolita that I've never met/don't even know is basically imitating all of my social media content to the point where it's scary.
>I cut my bangs, she gets bangs and cuts them to the same length as mind the day after I do it
>I post pictures of my friends and I having an early Christmas party before I'm out of town and she and her friends have an early Christmas party the next week
>I have afternoon tea somewhere and she takes a road trip to the same place I had tea at (she's from a comm that's farther away) and gets an almost identical order
>I buy a dress and say that I love x details, she buys the same dress in a different color way and just happens to love x details as well

>>9295923
Looks like senpai finally noticed.

>>9295926
Lol I'm not any sort of senpai to her. I barely have Instagram followers, I wear less jfash than she does (I work a boring job with a strict dress code and I'm pretty much always at work), and I'm far younger than her as well.

>>9295940
name and shame, anon

>>9295940
So if she's not obsessively idolizing you, what else could it be?

>>9294387
No such thing as an "ex"-marine :^)

>>9295046
it's gross that's why lol like you can just have it on a pad to take out and throw away instead of getting it in your underwear and leaking through your clothes

>>9295168
>>9295345

/ck/ would be proud :')

>>9295613
>Pack of five for $3
If you get your underwear at Walmart, which I don't

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>>9295699
>being this autistic

please try and let us know how it goes

Y'all know what's cringey? faggots talking about military and politics on a board basically dedicated to costumes and dress up.

>>9294468
I actually remember when Netflix's anime selection wasn't total shit

>>9295976
Not them but you shouldn't wear your good panties on your period.

> gynecological horror stories and ex-Marines calling each other little bitches
This certainly is a /cgl/ thread on 4chan.org

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>>9295168
You just made me day

>>9295516
Have you never had explosive diarrhea before lol

>>9295867

The autism about trigger discipline didn't tip you off?

>>9295947
She lurks here but the initials to her IG user name are C_F. She's been talked about here before.

>>9295046
anon that's really fucking gross and unsanitary

>>9295923
She has a christmas party in December, what a coincidence!

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>>9295124
This was a great read

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>>9295168
for posterity

I'm finally on break from college and willing to recap some old tales from the vaults involving the Tripp Pants Crew, Coloring-Chan, and some new ones I haven't really posted about involving a crazy homophobic lesbian love interest, my little weeb Uranus would-be girlfriend, or the time I sort of dated my crush's gay best friend who I'm pretty sure had a secret kinky furry lifestyle.

>>9296659
I'm on break, too, so I got all the time.
Hit me with those stories, Anon.

>>9296659
This reads like a shitty clickbait title jfc

>>9296719
It does, doesn't it? I don't have catchy nicknames for them so I just went with a weird summary name.

>>9296705
Will do. I'll do the shortest one in a greentext for now since I'm waiting for dinner to be done cooking.

Quick one for now is the first actual cringe would-be horror encounter I had.

>be little 13 year old weeb
>distant biological dad tries to bribe me to spend summer with him
>offers me a three-day pass to a convention near his house
>also gives me the IM handle for my stepsister I've never met
>only child, never experienced having a sister before and she's 16 so why not?
>start talking to her, she's excited to go to the con with me
>likes Sailor Moon just like me but hasn't cosplayed before
>over the next few weeks we really connect, I tell her stuff I've never told anyone
>still have yet to even meet this girl, just seen photos of her she sent
>tell her I'm into girls (I'm from a religious family)
>she tells me she's bisexual
>get excited, tell her all about how into Sailor Uranus x Sailor Neptune I am
>she offers to cosplay Uranus to my Neptune to the con

>find out the con has a little weeby prom event
>not really into dancing but stepsister wants to go
>she starts spamming me with links to dresses
>says she already has her dress suit picked out
>agree to go with her just because I really want to cosplay with her
>she starts asking if I'll slow dance with her to the couple songs
>agree to it but not really into the idea

>the more I agree to the more she wants to do
>she brings up the idea of fanservice
>tell her I'm not really comfortable with the idea
>she gets upset saying if we're cosplaying a couple we should act like a couple
>this entire time she keeps asking for more photos of me and shoving me the same 4-5 pics of her I've already seen
>keeps asking me more intimate details of my life

>talk less to her, make more excuses as to why I don't sign into IM
>just get really sketchy feeling
>it's a couple weeks until I'm supposed to go out of state to see my dad for the first time in years and meet my stepsister and stepmom for the first time
>still no sign that my dad has even bought the con tickets

-c

>>9296765
>stepsister barely talks about him aside from saying he's funny and kinda weird
>keeps wanting me to tell her stuff I only tell my close friends
>keeps bringing up our couple cosplay and how she can't wait to hug me and pose with me
>seems way too into us dancing close together
>keep emphasizing that it's a couple cosplay

>tell my mom I don't want to go about two weeks before I'm supposed to leave
>still don't even know where I'd be staying in the house
>have only gotten two phone calls from my dad in the past three months about staying with him
>tell my stepsister I'm not going since I can't get up with my dad

>she freaks out, says she already spent the money and she wanted to meet me at the con and spend time together
>says she'd already told my dad everything
>everything?
>turns out she'd been telling him EVERYTHING I've been telling her
>my dad knew about my sexuality, mostly all my secrets
>from that he'd told my grandmother (his mother) who's super religious
>get a phone call from her the next day saying she'd pray from me and I need to get right with god

-c

>>9296772
>feel betrayed but stepsister is making me out to be the bad guy
>says she's depressed and she had to go to therapy because of me breaking her heart
>blocks it me on IM
>I get upset and spend most of my summer inside
>get over it by the time school starts and I can hang out with friends again

>couple months later I get an IM from stepsister
>shows me a photo of her with another girl
>"I was so heartbroken by you, Anon! I finished therapy and found someone better in my school LGBT club! She's going to be my Neptune to the next con."
>give her a bland reply saying that was fine and I'm still mad at her for opening her big mouth to my dad
>she calls me a bitch a few times and then blocks me again
>haven't spoken to her or my dad since except when my dad forced himself into my graduation with my stepmother

To this day I've never even met my stepsister in person and I'd be half-convinced it was my dad catfishing me if it weren't for the weird "I thought we were dating like our animu couple!" angle.

>>9296773
>>9296772
>>9296765
Jesus that's skeevy. It is vaguely possible that your dad has some /issues/ and researched all the shit you were talking about.
And the pictures were some random girl he found online.

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>>9296765
>>9296772
>>9296773
This reads like the cyberpredator stories they told us in middle school. I hope that step sister actually exists.

>>9296784
>>9296795
I had thought if anything he'd bring her to my high school graduation after he took the liberty to crash it.

>go to ghetto school with graffiti from the 60s and each class packed solid
>graduating class too big for auditorium
>each graduate is limited to 3 tickets for family
>invite my mom, stepdad, and maternal grandma
>fraternal grandma is pissed but I hadn't forgiven her for the phone call
>get pulled into principal's office day before ceremony
>says my dad called her personally and demanded he be allowed to attend
>flat out tell her I don't want him to go and I've already given out my three tickets
>she tells me she's sorry but he has a right to go because he's my dad
>gives me two extra tickets for him and my stepmother I've never met
>dad acts like he's been there all the time
>pulls me into hugs and takes photos with me standing between him and his new wife
>doesn't give me a gift or anything
>fucks off after getting his photos and don't hear from him again until the bank calls me saying they're sending collections after me for past due charges
>find out he opened one of those spam mail credit cards they send you the moment you turn 18
>spend my entire summer after graduation traveling out of state to prove it was fraudulent
>turns out he's claimed I'd been living with him for years
>had to take my diploma and transcript to prove I'd never lived in his state
>every background check I do now for jobs shows his address as a previous place of residence
>haven't spoken to him or fraternal grandmother in 10+ years now after she defended him

>>9296811
what a piece of shit.

>>9296817
Tell me about it. I didn't even know about the last known residence stuff until I went in for a job interview and got asked if I'd ever lived out of state and I told them no and that I'd been in my state all my life. Needless to say after the background results came in showing I was living in both another state and my previous address (a few towns over until the previous year) at the same time, they didn't call me back.

>>9296811
The fuck is his problem

>>9296811
dump his ass!

>>9296765
>>9296772
>>9296773
Sounds like this wouldn't have happened if you weren't such a fucking heathen

>>9296882
savage

>>9296825
>Needless to say after the background results came in showing I was living in both another state and my previous address (a few towns over until the previous year) at the same time, they didn't call me back.

If they didn't call you back, how did you find out about the results of the background check?

>>9296890
They send you an email copy with the results if they don't hire you because of something on it. When I went in for the interview I had to register on their company's site and fill out my forms there in the office after my initial interview with the manager after I applied via a job website. I had to put in all my info on their computer and put an email for them to send a copy of the results to. I got the results and never heard back from them.

>>9294015
>>9295643
HOLY SHIT! I remember this story. I found it when I first came on cgl and discovered a weaboo horror story thread about 3 years ago. I remember that there were more comics about different encounter the op described

All this talk about military made me remember of a few unrelated and or elated stories
>Usually bring a lot of stuff to watch during con
>as a joke, i started to bring less and less animu and more western stuff (bring teen titans and pass it off as anime)
>friends browse through my shows
>stumble across a folder called "the pacific" and ask me what it is
>Oh shit I don goofed!
>1 or 2 of my friends knows this show, looks at me and they clearly see that I am at loss of word because it is an inappropriate show for an anime con
>one of them gives me a "I got you covered bro" look and smoothly get on my laptop and delete the folder
>the other one lets out a sight of relief

An other one:

>some weeb I encountered at a con
>he was really unpleasent and shit (don't want to get into details) and turns out he is one of my friend's relative and he told me he is kinda "special"
>learn for some reason that he decides to joins the army
>heard he didn't do well in his first pt screening, That is the last I heard of him. My friend and I don't really want to talk about him

>>9294747
>I remember this story

>>9297097
>the pacific

What's so bad about that? It's not offensive or X-rated or anything.

>>9297162
it's because the Japanese are the baddies

>>9296825
Holy crap anon, run a credit check on yourself if you already haven't. That is the sort of parent who would commit identity theft on their own kid to obtain credit cards they wouldn't be able to acquire due to their already awful credit.

>>9294386
They're right you know
> knew a group of kids through my boyfriend's brother
> they all were throwing a "going away" party because of going into military schools
> "what made you want to join?"
> they all literally told me they wanted to be like fucking Levi from AOT

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Since we're on the topic of yeast infections and the such
>Be probably sophomore in highschool
>get first yeast infection
>mom has never been the one to talk to about anything medical
>ever
>decide to ask on yahoo answers
>"YOGURT IS A GREAT WAY TO TREAT A YEAST INFECTION!!"
>no yogurt in the house, only rice pudding
> get one of those large ass syringes you use for turkeys
>put the rice pudding in and shove it up my wazoo
>everythingisok.bmp
>didn't know how long you were supposed to keep it in for
>guess about 10 minutes
>10 minutes go by and i try to stand up
>the rice pudding is dripping all over my thighs
>if i stand up its going to go fucking everywhere
>panic
>do this weird, almost crablike walk to the bathroom
>two days later it got worse and it eventually went away on its own

>>9294383
You sound bitter, but it is a fact that lots of folks join the military because they can't afford not to. I wouldn't exactly shame people for putting their life on the line to make a better life for themselves and their family.

>>9295516
I feel like you think you're Emma Roberts or something, you give off a really cunty vibe.

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>>9297251
Growing up w/ vagina sounds complex.

>>9296811
> be 12 year old me
> stepdad wants to take me to con after I show nerd ways
> Tokyo mew mew
> All excited
> He rapes me in the hotel room
> Turns out he was a convicted sex offender and had done it to another kid before me

All that military talk is making me uncomfortable af
>reminds me of the time I was molested by one of them at babby's 1st con

I have a couple stories related to escorting where guys asked me if i would cosplay during a "date".
Not sure if those belong here though?

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>>9297264
>>9297278
Jesus, I hope you guys are doing alright these days.

>>9297264
What the fuck, anon
I'm so sorry

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>>9294747
Reminds me of when Lupin III was still cosplayed, someone dressed as pic related saw my 4-foot tall Mickey Mouse prop (I was Kingdom Hearts trash) sitting on the edge of my table while I had lunch and walked up, looked right at me, and then grabbed it and ran. I had to chase him through a crowded Saturday afternoon hallway and catch him at the end to yell at him while he tried to do the "I was just kidding, it's in character!!" routine.

>>9297218
OP here and believe me, I Credit Karma'd myself after the background thing. Thankfully while even though my dad didn't get any jail time for the identity theft I did get the debt cleared and my credit is now stuck at "unavailable" because I haven't ever owned a credit card. Just this year I got my first job because now I have current attendee at a local college to add to my resume and that takes care of my sketchy past resident history I guess.

I've got no interest in getting a credit card after all this but thankfully my fraternal grandmother limits her reactions with me to cards twice a year and my Dad hasn't bothered to contact me after our last big blow up where a relative called him on my behalf about my background check results and he tried to claim he'd done nothing wrong and was only claiming I'd lived with him for the tax purposes or some shit. This coming from the man whose entire extent of parenting is "I took you to see wrestling one time for the first time we'd met in a year so I'm the best dad ever and that excuses everything else."
He's now an obese health issue riddled ex-cop. You can imagine the looks the local PD gave us when we went to press charges on him in his home town and told them he used to be one of them.

He's also ex-military and refused to sign any papers allowing me those nice little benefits. Kinda don't blame him for that though considering at the time he and my mother were together through shotgun wedding, quite literally.

>>9297284
yes please tell

>>9295124
This was a really unnecissarily long read and not even that interesting.
I just wasted 10 minutes of my life waiting and waiting for the story to get better and it not really happening

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>>9297339
Try this one.

>>9297327
>pretty new to escorting
>client asks if i'm into "dress-up"
>kinda nervous since he had only booked the vanilla package
>ask if he means like cosplay or something
>says yeah kinda like that i guess
>he actually had a diaper fetish and wanted to dress up as a child
>told him that would make me pretty uncomfortable
>he seems kinda sad but accepts it
He looked pretty normal so this was quite surprising but i guess you can't tell someones fetish by their looks alone.

>>9297162
This >>9297185 plus they nicely captured the racist views the US and the marines had towards the japanese. All in all, an excellent show. If circumstances were different, i would have played it

>teen girl dies
>friends convince family to turn wake into "___-con!"
>friends all show up in cosplay
>take selfies of themselves attending deadgirl-con

I wish I still had the caps for it. It's probably the craziest cringe I've ever seen.

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>>9294410
Have you considered getting a diva cup, anon?

>>9297353
that ending was perfect. 10/10, would read again

>>9297251
>sophomore in highschool
That's way too old to be doing stupid shit like that

>>9297614
the number of grown-ass adults who don't know how reproduction works may surprise you.

>>9297614
How many high schoolers get yeast infections, though?

>>9294346
They look fine fuck off vendetta

>>9297324
Dude, credit isn't just about getting credit cards. Internet service providers check your credit these days, you really need to get it sorted. Especially if you ever want to get your own house etc.

>>9297966
high schoolers who have gone through puberty? so most female high schoolers at one point likely as a result of taking antibiotics or other medication???

>>9295124
Not gonna lie, I was a chubby kid in highschool. I would have done the exact same thing to touch a boob

>>9297339

Someone requested it. I obliged.

>>9297505
Please say this is bait

>>9298043
Nope, it was an actual thing that got posted here at one point but I don't know where to start looking in the archive. Lemme browse around.

>>9295608

Maybe back in 2003, not anymore though. We just needed bodies at that time.

>>9297966
I got one when I was 16 because I had to take penicillin for strep throat... And even if you're not on antibiotics or something else that makes you prone to yeast infections, they're relatively common after you've hit puberty, i.e. high school age.

>>9295699
Boyfriend god rejected cause his feet were too flat.

>>9298251
>god rejected
I guess you got rejected for a different reason entirely? Did you at least finish hs?

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>>9295295
Navy current active duty here, and except for medical and special forces the military just sets you on a high horse to make you feel like someone or something important. I would go into detail and maybe some high rank officers are important but literally the military is a cookie cutter job where they can take anyone and make them do and put them where they want.

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>>9295168
holy fuck anon

>>9298251
>boyfriend rejected by god

That's the same reason my girlfriend gave when she left me.

>>9298045
Was it that lolita who got killed a year or two ago?

>>9297353
Fucking perfect.

>>9298462
Nah, the lolita got high and ran off the side of a parking garage.

>>9295716
Mate, that isn't your fault. I'm not sure, but that 91 sounds like a good score. You did your best, and your best sounds pretty impressive - as for your depression...that's another thing, but don't get down about your performance, acting like you're inadequate. You're doing good.

>>9297365
You really should put your heavy nos onto your listing if youre private online
Age play is very common for escort requests from guys that dont wanna play pro domme prices

>>9294410
I am so sorry. God that sounds awful!

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Can this girl go one day without spamming the Love Live USA cosplay group?

>>9298466
that was a fairy kei girl and wasnt it just a pink themed wake?

>>9297353
this gets me every fucking time, dammit.

>>9297365
That story was more sad then cringe.

That said, if I ever get so lonely that I'd spring for an escort, I'd totally go for a lolita or a good cosplay.

>>9296795
>I hope that step sister actually exists.
This I have to know now. Wtf was he gonna do if anon showed up and there was no step-sister to meet?

>>9294500
>baritone
holy shit anon your right.
I wouldn't let her hold it for shit if shes going to do that, especially a jupiter baritone

>>9296811
should have just told the principle that you have a restraining order against him

>>9297079

anyone got more of these comics?

>>9294410
I never once had a yeast infection until I fucked this slimy dude in a bipolar rampage and I used one of those OTC "clear in 3 days" gel things. Holy shit I am in the medical field and not easily grossed out but the stuff that came out of me over those three days was horrifying, like an alien miscarriage. Now I get flare ups every time I take antibiotics. I'm sorry for your pain sister.

>>9299634
I've watched some tv shows about internet dating, and I am always amazed at how retarded the person doing the catfishing is. They just turn up at the meeting place and get super confused when the other person doesn't want them because they aren't who they said they were. Stupid shallow bitches, like, how dare you not still go on a date even though they aren't the cute lesbian or whatever they presented themselves as, and are instead some balding fat guy.

>>9295699
>me
>bipolar, easily managed with medication but history of suicide attempts and hospitalization from before getting diagnosed and treated
>otherwise fit, hard working, intelligent, with one associates and a bachelor's degree under my belt already
>rejected
I wanted to get in to have a reliable, productive job that would benefit me in a number of ways as I prepared for med school, but apparently they don't take (diagnosed) loonies

>>9297505
please dont tell me this was melbourne. please dont tell me this happened at the funeral of someone i knew

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After a few hours digging I finally found that pic on the cosplay/convention funeral for that girl.

>>9299795
Oh no

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>>9299795

>>9299761
>>9299795
Was this actually in Melbourne i need more info what the everloving fuck

>>9299795
According to the archives about this, before her death she was really excited about a con, because she died before she could go they decided they wanted to bring the con to her and celebrate the things she enjoyed in life. Her mother and her sister asked people to cosplay and though you may think it is cringy, it was their way to remember her and to grieve.

>>9299835
Context helps a lot.

>>9299795
>>9299835
this is actually really sweet.

>>9294541
if I'm a guy, can you be my mocking gf?

Something between burning cringe/asylum escapee horror

> known little bitch on the finnish cosplay circle
> people know her shit and stuff she does in and out of cons
> makes other people do her costumes and takes full credit
> thinks her twitter/fb/whatthefuckever is her personal venting space that nobody else sees
> probs here right now snooping if someone says anything bad about her so she can report it
> has been violent in a con towards others, mentally very unstable
> mentally abuses her current ”gf”/cosplay slave
> trainwreck.jpg

>>9299967
>tfw I'm not a cosplay slave
why even live?

>>9294015
I went online to see what other people thought and then I cringed all day.

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>>9298287
>questioning intelligence because of a a typo

>>9294371
>>9294383
Mil-Anon here.

I've seen some of the most brilliant minds come through my squadron, but also some of the most autistic cringe inducing people as well.

Some of the jobs in the mill require no skill or intelligence.
Others require immense amounts, so I don't think it's fair to color them all with a broad brush.

THAT BEING SAID.

A lot of acne riddled weeaboos think that by joining the military they are suddenly some bad ass. It settles their beta insecurities, really they are either cannon fodder or glorified janitors.

I have so many cringe stories of betas in the service, one they find out you're a fellow nerd it's almost impossible not to be their favorite. .

>>9295976
Event AT walmart it's more expensive than that. Not to mention it's just gross.

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>>9299276
Something about her face makes me honestly uncomfortable.

>>9299795
>Sees pic
>Starts to criticize cosplay/makeup ect
>Realize what it is

>>9300756
Because of a A type anon?
A? AA?

>>9300818
Dyslexic people must hate you

>>9300925
Nah, just anal anons online. ;p

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I already knew that one of my exes were otherkin. Today I learnt that another one of them is fictionkin.
Don't date people you meet at cons.

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>>9301119
you sure know how to pick 'em, anon.

>>9301119
>fictionkin
Literally what the fuck

>>9301119
My dad is a fictionkin. He thinks he's Sora from Kingdom Hearts.

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>>9301119
Holy shit I've dealt with those fictionkin people and it's ridiculous. I remember when one girl got mad at me because my icon on tumblr was komaeda and she was kin to Hinata and kept telling me Komaeda is her boyfriend and proceeded to ask me if I was kin to him. I told her no and she told me to change my icon because it made her uncomfortable and I just ignored her. They're fun to laugh at though.

>>9301140
You sweet summer child
It's the only thing more autistic than otherkin

>>9301158
They're the worst. I had a bunch of them get mad at me last year for shipping a pairing they didn't like. They said I had no right to ship them against their will and that I wasn't respecting them.

I met a really cool friend at a con though, but they turned out to be fictionkin. I tolerate it and don't ever say anything, but it still makes me think a bit badly of them when they bring it up.

>>9301140
People who think they're reincarnations of fictional characters or some shit. It's just otherkin for the tumblr generation.

>>9301196
No, that would be factkin. People identifying with a supernatural being or fictional character can't hold a flame to people who claim to be Robert Downy Jr from an alternate universe pastlife.

>>9301214
Reincarnationkin specifically has been around for quite a while. Every third person who goes to a psychic gets told they were Cleopatra, Napoleon, Marie Antoinette, Alexander the Great, etc in a past life.

>>9301282
Yeah but at least those people are dead already. I can't imagine what it would be like to get online right now and see 10+ people all claiming to be a resurrected version of yourself, now, while you're still alive.

>>9300799
>A lot of acne riddled weeaboos think that by joining the military they are suddenly some bad ass. It settles their beta insecurities, really they are either cannon fodder or glorified janitors.

Fucking this. A friend of a friend joined the army, and constantly brags about how he action-rolled into battle the other day, guns blazing, women weeping in joy at being saved, etc etc.
Friends are constantly like- Dude, you work in the cafeteria...in Georgia. And your name isn't Nero goddammit. You're not fooling anyone

>>9301158
Lol its always the Dangan Ronpa fans too. I had a mutual on tumblr that constantly got into arguments because she claimed she was fictionkin with Junko, and if you posted a pic or gif of Junko then you were posting a picture of her without her permission. It was hilarious but eventually I got tired of seeing her posts so I deleted her. Also if you pointed out that Junko was a psycho, and maybe not the best person to relate to, she'd do that "Ahhahah i'mm havvigf a panik attak ssstop triggerggerring me" typing bullshit.

>>9299795
One of my friends died and the funeral was orange dress code because he loved Naruto so much and his mum wore a fucking leaf ninja headband around her neck. I really thought that won in terms of cringe.

>>9299795
At first sight it is slightly cringey, but knowing her family did this a tribute to something she genuinely loved is actually really great.

>>9301119
>fictionkin
I will never accept these people

>>9301119
>>9301392
>fictionkin

I love how all these words and definitions keep popping up. It's mimicry of things they see in real life but without any of the science or academia.

Like maybe something thinking I bet I could be an astronomer, and then they start listing galaxies and planets they make up.

Eventually someone will sum up all tumblr's invented terminology as something like cryptobiology or cryptopsychology.

>>9297251
>puts sugary dessert pudding in vagina

that lucky, lucky yeast feasted for days

Yahoo anon was right though. plain yogurt will bring back the good bacteria that keeps the yeast levels in check. the vagoo is an awesome place to live for a lot of living things, it's like fraggle rock. it needs a good deal of maintenance.

>>9301411

>tfw no maintenance and vagina has always been, itch and smell free

Feels good. I see people come in all the time with a 5th yeast infection in a row they got from just sneezing. Don't envy them one bit.

>>9301411
>it's like fraggle rock

anon i love you

>>9301214
>the tumblr generation
*the LiveJournal generation

fictionkin was a thing 15 years ago

never forget the Final Fantasy 7 cult of the early 00's

>>9294343
That happened to me once. Except I was the one who jizzed in her water bottle.

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>>9301350
Nothing makes me roll my eyes more than when they type like that. Why was it always linked with the dangan ronpa fandom especially? I never understood that.

>>9301158
Just recently I've been seeing more on tumblr is people saying they're "LITERALLY THIS CHARACTER, NOT KIN, I AM LITERALLY ______"
>pic related

>>9301414
Same, that's why >>9297985 confused me. I'm 23 and never had anything like a yeast infection.

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>>9301421
almost 20 years ago, actually.

>fictionkin in 1999
>these people could theoretically have teenage children on tumblr kin-ing it up by now
>tfw the kin of fictionkin could be fictionkinning

>>9297985
I'm >>9297985 and it very well could be oral birth control, which I take. So that's probably why some people get them and some never do.

>>9295124
tfw no serial killer lolita gf

>go to cons with group of nerdy dudes for a couple years
>stuff rooms, get blackout drunk, troll people IRL
>trolling was usually innocent shit like "YOU LOST THE GAME" but sometimes involved harassing cosplayers, lying to staff about nonexistant problems, etc.
>roll with this retard behavior because I finally have friends
>one guy gave me the major creeps after a while, though
>would single out whoever was newest or weakest in the group to tease and pressure into self-destructive shit, for the amusement of everyone else
>anything from pretending not to know the plot to NGE so his victim would have to explain it while everyone else played along like no one had heard of this anime before
>"Are you sure that's a real thing?" "Is this your fanfiction?" etc.
>all the way to giving them drugs while they were already too drunk to say no and then recording the fucked up results
>I accepted this even though I was targeted more than once
>it's just hazing, bro
>except I noticed it getting darker
>he got a girlfriend and tried to fuck her in a hotel room full of drunk or passed out male spergs
>held her down on the bed until she cried and then he laughed in her sobbing face and claimed it was a joke
>she just yelled, "I told you that's not funny!"
>like it had happened before
>like he had pretended to rape her for lulz more than once
>bystander effect in full force, none of us who are awake fucking do anything about it
>she leaves the room and he decides to order porn through the TV menu
>the room isn't in his name and the guy in charge of the deposit is blacked out
>dude says "Time to fap" and proceeds to masturbate in front of everyone like he's showing his dick off

There's more but tl;dr: I grew a backbone and stopped hanging out with that crew. Recently I heard a rumor that that he had drugged and raped one of the other guys. I dunno if it's true but I wouldn't put it past him. His eyes were fucking soulless, and if I never see him again, I'll be relieved.

>>9301462
Awww I'll date you anon.

>>9301402
>mimicry
>without science
It's really a lot like cargo cults, isn't it.

>>9301474
what kind of people do you kill

>>9297353
I really hope that isn't a true story. If it is and that person still browses, the statute of limitation in Kansas is 5 years. They know who the girl is...

Having 3 men shove someone in the shower for the sole purpose of burning their skin via a chemical reaction actually counts as aggravated assault. All four of them fuckers deserve being charged. The girl may not have done the assaulting, but she's the one who decided, 'let's burn her face'. She's at the very least accessory to aggravated assault. I'd seriously take this to the police and get a lawyer.

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>>9301479
anon...

>>9301482
Not >>9301479, but I JUST got it. Had myself a good lol and a regretful shame for not getting it before.

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oh man are we sharing fictionkin stories?

>middle school bff goes crazy because guy she was stalking turns out to be gay
>comes to school on Monday with hair shaved off and claiming to be a guy
>she is now a gay guy, when three days earlier she was a straight girl. continues to stalk guy and say they can now date
>guy tells her to fuck off and graduates
>nope out of that friendship, make a new bff with same interests
>we go to our first con that summer
>haven't seen old crazy friend in two months
>at a con entire states away
>hear autistic screaming coming down the hallway
>"lol it sounds just like her"
>it's fucking her
>she's decked out in a really crappy Kingdom Hearts cosplay. She jumps on some girl dressed like Sora and they start to make out
>we hide behind a pillar and pretend not to know her
>check her devinart after con, it's full of Sora x Riku crap
>Go back to school in September. She has begun to wear crappy hot topic trip pants and striped armwarmers. Ocassionally a nappy silver wig
>Asks teachers to call her Riku, or the guy form of her name. Because she is literally Riku
>Writes Riku on all over her assignments and tests
>She eventually dumps her beau, Sora, and declares she is no longer a gay guy, but is now a lesbian. Apparently Sora was suicidal and thus, selfish
>But she's still Riku so she's trans girl Riku
>Next year is first year of highschool
>She takes creative writing class and only writes raunchy Kingdom Hearts fanfiction
>Never gets in trouble because "all of her work is autobiographical since she is Riku and Sora is her ex" It's her way of coping with the breakup.
>Asks biology teacher how fish have sex. In order to make her mer!Rikuxmer!Sora fanfic more realistic

Four years later she became a fucking pony

I hate fictionkin

>>9301482
>>9301484
I do hope it's a play on the Wizard of Oz. Hey, I had a friend get picked up alongside half their trailer in a tornado in Kansas never to be seen again. Bless their heart. It does happen in Kansas.

>>9301479
>>9301484
the story was obviously fake at the beginning, but clearly a joke by the end. you guys are almost as bad as people sharing fake news on Facebook. have some critical thinking skills, pls

>>9295608
That's called 'cannon fodder'.

>>9301423
>identifying as the shittest Kaiba
Never gonna make it

>>9301490
>aunt and uncle's farm
>picked up by a twister
>little dog too

Don't worry, it's Wizard of Oz.

>>9301499
>>9301492
I am a dumb blonde at my worst, I'll admit. It comes out from time to time, but my heart is in the right place.

>>9301486
all the people in my childhood seem so milquetoast compared to your guys' stories.

>>9301476
Basically yes, that's what it looks like.

>>9295940

Instead of sperging out and hating, why don't you try to know her? She may just be your best friend, since apparently she adores you.

>>9301477
Cute ones, I can't stand to share them with anyone else.

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I know this isn't cringe videos, but I feel like y'all could help me out. It's this video about this girl.. there is a cast of people in this 10 or 20 minute video. At one point she is disabled or has a bum leg (at the beginning?) and she wears lolita. A black and white whatever. Kind of a bad outfit. It was just cringy. I'm desperate, please help.

>>9301486
I need this explained to me better. So what she is hetero female gay man trans women fictional fish pony lesbian?

>>9301586
Book Girl?
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uu2ruy_z9io

>>9301590
I don't even know, anon. She changed her gender and sexuality every few months. Then when she stopped being Riku, MLP had just came out, so she became a pony. Otherkin or whatever it's called. Which is weird because her fursona is some wolf thing with horns and glasses. It's so confusing.

I got a yeast infection yesterday for no fucking reason and I blame this fucking thread.

Time to order 5lbs of greek yogurt.

>>9301669
I thought we were salty, not sugary.

Every time I decide to take a look into this board I regret it immediately.

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>ITT: Chuunibyou

Most of these people will give up when they have to live in the adult world. Others will stay lost in delusion. But I believe that sometimes, a few manage to transform themselves into someone they weren't before.

Scientifically speaking, the self is an illusion. A lot of religions leverage that into their conversion stories; many militaries exploit it to recondition regular people into weapons. A lot of cultures have had established ways to shed the self, usually with some kind of ritual. Fictionkin is the consumerist version--but it doesn't have the same kind of clout as, say, getting washed in the blood of Christ to become a new man.

But it's the same kind of feeling. That feel when you know you can achieve a "self" that isn't chained to your memories and the memories of others. That feel when you find something that speaks to a higher or nobler or more powerful part of you that you haven't learned how to use yet. That feel of being adolescent and full of potential. Metamorphosis tempts that feel.

>>9301147

is this moe?

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>AX 2016
>boyfriend trying to check into hotel on a short time limit, hotel doesn't have parking and we have to block the road to check in for a little bit
>car behind us is leaning on their horn while bf tries to get all my suitcases and props into the hotel room's 6th floor while I stay in the car making sure its not towed
>boyfriend asks for my help with something
>open the door only to slice my hand open on a metal part of the car
>blood is gushing everywhere
>car behind us is still leaning on their horn (instead of just going around)
>bf shouts "COULD REALLY USE SOME HELP" behind a bunch of piled up cosplay stuff
>looks over and sees me crying and blood dripping down my arm
>Hotel staff literally doesn't have a first aid kit to help me
>Bf finishes putting stuff in the hotel and drives to the Luxe to park while I'm getting blood over everything
>walk into the hotel looking like pic related
>Luxe hotel staff looks at me horrified and ands me medical supplies to patch myself up

all this from a small cut on my pinky.

to anyone trying to go mil, this is what you need to know:

NO: No objections
YES: Your enlistment stops

If it isn't on paper somewhere and no one can corroborate it it doesn't exist and didn't happen. Don't volunteer information. It's their job to find out so don't make it easier for them.

Also applies to the police and other government jobs.

>>9301345
Exactly, I knew so many people that worked the chow hall or were desk jockies and bragged online about their deployments.Bitch you deployed once and never left building.

>>9297505
If this is the girl who died from cancer last year, I thought the mom wanted people to dress up since it was her fave hobby and it brought her closer to her friends?

If not... I'm terrified this is more common than I thought.

>>9295169
>Yeah this was 100% written by a lolita not a dude
This

This is very much the power fantasy of a girl with a power complex.
>She never gets bested.
>She is perpetually pretty.
>She is smarter than everyone else - able to stop people in their tracks with a single whispered sentence.
>She kills people and viciously maims others with little to no consequence.

Obvious attempt to throw it off by having the narrative character be a dumpy beta, but it's very odd how often he feels like it's necessary to discuss how fat and unappealing he is, which is something people tend to subconsciously downplay.

>>9295867
>/k/cgl crossboarders.
Everyone wants to dress up and feel special sometimes, we just happen to do so in plate carriers.

>>9294747
Fuck, prop stealing is the worst. Had the same thing happen with some moron girl dressed as Ryuk from Death Note back when that was the hot shit. She stole our Light's apple and some Bleach cosplayer's sword then ran into the bathroom to get away from us. She didn't realise our Light was female though so shat herself when she marched in. Also, a female Captain Planet came to our rescue and gave the Ryuk one hell of a lecture about how stealing is bad.

>>9301725
And I get shit every year for bringing a first aid kit. Over prepared my rump.

>>9294592
>Because you get to see the world
bwahahaha wot
i went to school with one guy who was in militarly and i was very curious about what they do all the time since there hasn't been a real war in like 50 years and he said they basically do glorified construction work or cleaning after natural disasters and shit like that
they literally do jobs that excon niggers and public service fags do who can't get any other job coz of their record

>>9294410
next time just ask one of the betas there to lick you clean, they will be willing to actually pay you for it too
that is one great think about cons, betas everywhere

>>9295391
Point C+D:
None of those kind of people are in the majority of the military force

>>9302170
I should do that. I always bring bandaids and blister packs and ALWAYS have to buy moure after the con.

>>9295699
What year is it in your world, 2007? The US military will disco you from enlisting for the most irrelevant shit these days, they have no shortage of manpower and have no need for "warm bodies" anymore. Not 100% normie? Any health or mental issues at all? Ever have surgery? Ever? No army for you.

>>9302679
But they are.

>>9301696
That was me. I was a crazy weeb growing up but I've almost completely normalized now. I actually have quite a few stories from the opposite side of how these usually go...

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>>9301696
>Scientifically speaking, the self is an illusion.

>>9301623
the fucking thumbnail scares me
Like just got tied up on a chair and looking at my captors

>>9301411
Reminds me of the time I was in mycology and my oyster mushrooms got colonized by a black mold because someone put a pebble in my grow box.

>>9299276
No, she's now organizing a group. God, I bet she's just as annoying in person.

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>>9299795
Yeah pretty rude putting this here. Adri was a well loved friend and her mother wanted to send her off by celebrating the things she loved. Don't lump this in with stories of awkwardly horny weebs.

>>9301806
>Also, a female Captain Planet came to our rescue and gave the Ryuk one hell of a lecture about how stealing is bad.

KEK'd seems like something cap would do.

>>9302970
>I actually have quite a few stories from the opposite side of how these usually go...
well share then

>>9302983
It's best not to reply when someone misuses science like that. I doubt it would sound as intelligent if someone said it like this: "Based upon an empirical system of ruling out all other proposed plausible hypotheses we are left to conclude that the self being an illusion is the only valid and falsifiable hypothesis still remaining."

https://youtu.be/MJc8ZvG5I5c

animated cosplay horror story just uploaded

>>9301411
>The vagoo is like Fraggle Rock

I knew I browsed /cgl/ for a reason

Thanks for killing my sides anon

>>9301426
if had it only once and never again,. didn't knew previously that it can be caused from lots of factors,
including too much stress or bad aircondition from wearing nonbreathable underwear all the time

>>9301572
Thanks, Anon, for learning me a new word.

>>9294371
Creeps love the military and police because it gives a sense of power over people

>>9300818
hey just because anon made a mitsake doesn't mean their not smart.

>>9301423
>falling for bait
this is a troll, anon.

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>>9301486
Holy shit this sorta reminds me...

>Take the GCSEs (British exams after tenth grade), few years back
> English lang or lit exam, either way there's a free-write
>Sleep-deprived and depressed af, didn't give a shit
>Write gay K-pop ChanyeolxBaekhyun fanfiction for free-write
>MRW I walk out of the exam hall fifteen minutes early
>MRW I get a B overall

>>9301470
Sounds pretty based desu

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>>9306250
>get drunk
>harass and assault others
>"It's just a prank, bro!"

>>9294383

>board full of majority fat women hate on beta nerds who try and alpha up and join the military.

That awkward guy that came into coffee will be fucking far hotter women then you pretty soon.

>>9301470
And you guys say normies are the weird ones.

>>9295923
You've got a perfect opportunity here anon.

>Take picture of self
>Photoshop yourself bald
>Call it bald-kun or something lolitaish
>Wait few days until stalker-chan has done it
>"Haha guys, fooled you! I never shaved my head, lol jk :^)"

Or replace bald with whatever stupid thing you fancy.

>>9307012
Hit too close to home?

I'm glad I never interact with any groups that aren't my friends at cons so that I never become the creep of one of these stories.

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I have never cringed so hard in my life. I actually gagged.
https://instagram.com/p/BO0MHqxjzPN/

>>9307564
Skrillex or Zarya haircut. She'll never suspect it's a bluff.

>>9307948
>1,413 views
>caption is bad enough
I don't want to see this.

>>9295716
>I'm in my junior year of uni now, but sometimes I feel kind of bad that I wasn't even able to get into the military.
what I heard, military is ok, but isn't mandatory in life. Hell, many people even say, it was shit...

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>>9301119
>>9301140
>>9301214


Where can I buy this tumblr stuff. Sounds like some real dank shit to smoke.

>>9307948
The cringe is real. I got shivers from this shit. And the instagram gallery is def not better

>>9307948
could not proceed past the third shot

the cringe is too real

>played undertale and wanted to cosplay asriel
>"hey make a fursuit"
>have a naturally huge fucking head
>underestimate how big the headpiece gets after foam and fur
>have barely any sight thru the eyeholes
>mediocre rest of the cosplay
>put it all on the sunday of the con
>trying to take all my shit back to the car
>robe made entirely out of fleece
>sweating my balls off
>put the head on
>oh god its a nightmare
>fucking massive head i can't even keep up bc the snout
>get one pic from rly nice old guy
>after that go thru skywalk to con
>stopped by kid and his mom for pic
>kids like 8
>mom says "he just loves the furries!"
>my friend was right behind me the whole time and i didn't even know

that whole cosplay is a nightmare and i actually scared said friend when i tried it on in the hotel. im just happy i didnt fever-dream the 8yo's mom saying he loves fucking furries
srsly tho the head was as wide as my shoulders and the robe was so small on my skinny-as-hell frame it was fucking hilarious

>>9301500
Too bad your brain isnt
>jk senpai ily

>>9308434
You can't tell this story and then not post the pic anon

>>9300799
>I have so many cringe stories of betas in the service
Storytime?

>>9295923
Tell everyone you're pregnant.

>be sheltered friendless teen
>live in chat rooms and LiveJournal
>get a crush on someone's AU Final Fantasy roleplay character via his LJ
>have long distance romance with this character, complete with all-night chats and awkward cybersex
>until the RPer decides i've ruined said character because "now he won't care about his story, he just cares about you. but /I/ think you are annoying"
>makes me break up with him
>i cry

>fast forward to my adult, cosplaying, less maladaptive daydreaming/roleplaying life

>friends cosplay Kingdom Hearts
>friends roleplay Kingdom Hearts
>be at con, watch them RPing their characters' romance
>they fanservice it up like whoa
>at night in the hotel room they drop character and argue about whether one of them was "letting" their character get too flirty with a random 3rd KH cosplayer
>they get in an argument about whether their characters should be allowed to flirt with other characters
>other roomie (there were 4 of us in room) asks them to please continue the argument in the morning
>silence falls
>turn out lights, settle into our beds/sleeping bags
>one of them suddenly says with a lot of exaggerated emotion, "it's not like WE'RE dating, so who cares what happens i guess!"
>argument resumes
>but this time they both start crying and confessing their romantic feelings for each other
>me and other roomie step out to get vending machine snacks and give them some space
>roomie says "it took them long enough" and laughs nervously about how out of touch with reality our KH cosplayer friends are
>i say, "i wish the person who created my highschool boyfriend actually liked me out of character"
>it was meant as a joke
>but it wasn't a joke
>roomie looks at me like she knows it wasn't a joke
>i suggest we go back and sleep now
>she agrees
>i crawl into my sleeping bag when we get back and pretend not to hear the soft wet noises coming from the KH pair's bed

low-level cringe from a friend
>friend is ex-lolcow in the lolita comm, long since quit lolita but is very socially awkward and had a reputation for scamming/being dodgy with money
>messages me asking if 40GBP is a good deal for an itabag or she's being ripped off
>sounds like a ripoff to me, try aliexpress
>yeah I think they're trying to scam me because they said 15 in their post but they're quoting me 40
>yeah, that sounds dodgy, go somewhere else, ali sells the plastic overbags cheap
>she sends me the conversation screencap
>Seller charged her 15 for the base bag and an extra 10 for two extra pockets, plus 5 shipping
>not 40GBP
>not a scam
>friend is just retarded
>tell friend this
>friend is still whining about how it's a ripoff to charge 5GBP per pocket
>won't just go to aliexpress and buy a cheaper bag instead of bitching

I can really see how she got a bad reputation, jfc.

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>>9307948
>don't have Instagram
>it's a video?
>play for three seconds

Jesus Christmas why
If I weren't already dead inside this would upset me

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>>9307948
>>9308547
Okay, now I realize if you click their name you go to their gallery.
>those Bungou Stray Dogs photos
Wh-what the fuck was I expecting by scrolling down more? God damn, that shit is heinous

>>9307948
Can someone summarize for a gull who can't get the vid to play?

Bonus points for greentext format for easy copypastaing

>>9308889
>eren cosplayer dressed in red pajama pants and mushroom shirt crawls across the bed with a condom in their mouth
>hikes their shirt up in an attempt to be sexy
>"heichou, it's time for some exercise~"
>levi cosplayer appears in blue pajamas and with a bottle of booze
>starts to unbutton their top while music plays in the background
>they sound like a 12 year old trying to keep their voice down for fear of waking their parents
>"well....I hope you know...you aren't getting much sleep tonight..."
>video cuts back to eren cosplayer snoring and sleeping on the bed with a disturbingly elongated stomach for some reason
>cuts back to levi angrily whisper saying "you little shit" before turning to the side and saying "hey erwin, what's up?", taking a swig of their drink, and walking off screen

>>9309020
Bless you for doing this because I didn't dare click.

>>9306189
Reminds me of the time I was so uninspired during exam prep I wrote MadoHomu for one of the exercises. I don't recall my teacher being pleased.

>>9309020
>Repressed Female Weeb Sexuality: A Play in One Act

>>9308532
Not the first time I've heard of people trying to get closer to their crushes with RPing
I wonder how many weebs did this, I know one personally.

>>9309148
#yaoisex

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>>9307948
The further I scroll the worse it gets. Good lord.
https://www.instagram.com/p/BNBIlapjfW_/

>>9294015
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uW_jevjNs4s

this made me cringe

>>9297284
Would it be bad if I asked how to into escorts?

I just wanna state to the military anons that the Military sucks, and not for the reasons you think.

It's called The Big Suck for a reason, and the phrase "Hurry Up and Wait" will grind on you for a long time.

I didn't even know it was possible to make a day at the range shooting guns with your buddies awful, but somehow the Military makes it happen.

>>9309190
Doesn't matter, the tits are bomb either way

>>9309216
I feel sorry for the guy who's doing the show alongside her, since it's clear he doesn't have enough of a chin to be hitting that.

>>9307948
>>9309148
I was always confused by this. When weebs do this weird roleplay is it because they're lesbians or trans?

>>9309252
My guess would be extreme insecurity in their appearance and sexuality. They have trouble finding themselves attractive as-is, but if they dress up and pretend to be somebody else, it's okay for them to do, because it isn't really "them"

>>9309269
I never really got this. I still see people as they are and myself as I am (lowly).

So I don't get seeing myself as more attractive or whatever in cosplay.

>>9301421
>never forget the Final Fantasy 7 cult of the early 00's
http://www.demon-sushi.com/warning/
I think about this shit all the time.

This site also links to info about Parker and Hulme which really makes me wonder about people like this from before technology existed. Imagine all the weirdos thinking that they are literally their favorite book characters that might have existed in the 1800s. Humans are weird.

>>9309426
I discovered this story a few years back when I found an article about it written by...vice (for some reason, I have friends who read them so they pop up on my newfeed)
Could someone give a tldr about this whole cult

>>9308504
oh shit maybe when i wake up. still kinda scared of putting it up for the world to shit on lololol

>>9309190
>mfw I hit play and know the guy immediately
This shit is old as the hills, anon. You should see his cosplay movie he made about 10+ years ago, it was ahead of its time.
Cringy yeah, but he was ahead of the game for his time.