Parents butting into Comms

The mother of one of our younger members once stepped in to help her organize a meet. It was nice of her and we were supportive but frankly I imagine that said member would have done a better job organizing it without her help.
The event page her mother set up on facebook was public so every random normie on her friend list could access it and invite themselves; thankfully none of them showed up but it did lend itself to some awkward situations; imagine trying to explain the fashion to strange middle aged wine moms and even stranger men who are interested in the "meeting of lolitas" on facebook.
The meetup turned out alright in the end but I don't think that the cringefest that lead up to it was worth the effort.

I had this one insident that didn't involve a comm but it was between me (an adult) a 14-year old that wanted me as her Lolita mentor and the girl's mother.

>Girl loves punk, gothic, hot topic and wants to be a Lolita. She is very overweight.
>Teaches her how to research properly,where to find plus size Lolita dresses and assures her this is do-able.
>Mother is convinced that the brand dresses not being plus size will turn her daughter anorexic.
>Assures Mother there is no subiminal body shaming going on here; we just need to work around it.
>Mother freaks out that a Bodyline dress could cost up to $60; accuses fashion of being "pricey" and "too rich" for her blood
>Meanwhile Girl has a healthy body image, is already saving her allowance and is on track to get into Lolita soon.
>Take mother and daughter to Babyssb SF and out to tea just to try and better show the mom what it is her teenager is intrested in.
>Mother flips out at the entire experience; believes the shop girls promote an "unhealthy body image" by being normal weight, is triggered that a full afternoon tea would cost more then Burger King and believes this is some conspiracy to turn her daughter into a spoiled elitist.

... Eventually I backed off. I am still in open communications with the girl but I am not encouraging her becoming a Lolita anymore. Sometimes she visits me and wants to see my classic lolita closet; she's really into it still but even she's tired of her mother. She's still fat, still content but is now dating "bad boys" which her mother thinks are super cool and hip and not "weird" like that skinny-rich fashion.

>>9154385
I want to just add that after this experience I'm starting to wonder if a lot of fat kids become fat adults because their parents end up projecting on them instead of helping them. The reason why I brought up the girl's weight is that she was really comfortable with herself; meaning she was very mentally and emotionally stable. Just fat. But her mother kept creating and planting all these insecurities that could drive any child to start questioning themselves.

>>9154385
God th is just reminds me of how much adult women freak out about the body image Barbie promotes when as a kid I never cared on noticed. All I ever noticed that was word about Barbie was her molded on underwear pattern. Any girl who thinks Barbie is something to aside to usually has family members like this or other factors pushing beauty standards

>>9154404
Yeah, I mean, I would think the healthy perspective with toys like Barbie is to use it as a learning moment to explain the difference between reality and fiction. Barbie is a fictional entity; just like comic book characters and pokemon. Of course she shouldn't be something to aspire to; she isn't real.
.

I remember an Anon told a story once, I think in a taobao, thread about how she had organised a group order for her comm. One underaged girl bought a pastel goth dress with upside down crosses, causing her christian mother to freak the fuck out and tear into Anon.

>>9154401
I mean if she's happy then, that's fine right? If she grows up ok with whatever consequences then it's nobody's problem except her moms...

I hate fat people

>>9154385
This reminds me of my own mother when I was 15 and we visited a lolita shop together. As soon as we got through the door and she saw the clothing she started stage-whispering at me about how she wasn't sure anything here would fit me since it was all so impossibly tiny. I'm currently slim enough to fit VM and MM and was even smaller as a 15-year-old. The shopgirl overheard my mom's not-so-subtle 'whispers', took one look at me, and assured my mom that I would have no problem fitting into anything they had. My mother didn't believe her until I actually tried something on and it had plenty of room to spare. She did end up buying me my first brand dress (yay!) but ever since then she would insist that lolita is for impossibly tiny Japanese girls and as soon as I "grow up" I won't be able to fit it anymore. I'm not sure if she's projecting her own body image issues onto me or if this was some weird way to discourage me from wearing the fashion. Joke's on her since a decade later I still fit burando, still feel great in it and am perfectly comfortable with my body.

Hopefully the kid in your post will end up okay, too.

>>9154404
>>9154418
I never really understood this either.
Even as a little girl I never assumed real people to look like Barbies. They are fucking dolls. Everyone with half a brain should be able to make that connection.

>>9155017
I have seen parents to fuss about dolls and same people don't complain about Disney princesses, children's make up or similar things. I get wanting to your daughter to grow up thinking she is beautiful no matter what but isn't it hypocrisy to not bitch about anything then? I'm not an expert on this at all but would assume it's more important to child to be encouraged by parents than parents banning everything that seems to set bad body image. There will be real living examples after all, like models, clothing sizes or other kids bullying. If you can't get your child to understand she can't and she don't have to look like a doll there will possibly be other problems in the future.

I never understood this mentality. Like if your kid is into something and you're concerned with their safety then put your foot down and tell them no. Its like when you go to concerts and there are moms and dads there with their shitty teen daughters it messes with the atmosphere. Like seriously either trust that you taught your kid how to be safe or tell them they can do it when they're older.

Anyways in my comm its an older sister who is the pne butting in comstantly. She homestly acts like an over barring mothet most of the time anyways who is a know it all. The older one is into Lolita too but she is just so unpleasant to be around and so forceful with what jer sister can and cant do and wear. The younger one is 15 or 16 now older them when the older one joined up and still can only go to events if her sister is around.

>>9155017
Dumb ugly people assume kids are just as dumb and just as ugly as they are. I collected Barbies as a kid (still do). And I'm a fat sad adult, so beinh surrounded by pink dolls didnt give me an eating disorder or body image issues.

>>9155066
>what is spellcheck

>>9154404
>>9154418
>>9155017
>>9155054
I had a fuckton of Barbies and watched a Disney princess movie practically every day and the only "body image" issue I ever developed was when I was upset my hair didn't move like Ariel's in the bathtub. My parents explained that Ariel is a fictional character and fictional characters have unrealistic features. No problems after that.
I fully believe that parents who blame dolls for potential issues of their children are themselves really insecure and influencing their children in that way. The way their own parents interact with the world has so much more impact on a growing child than shiny hunks of plastic.

>>9154401
My family/mom did this to me as a kid. I grew up overweight (my mother has eating problems to this day) and consistently tried dieting, but was never successful until I was out of the house. They just made too much shit food and insisted I eat.

My mom would always buy me shit in like 4X and it crushed my soul since I actually measured myself before buying clothes online and wore L/XL maximum. She would try to get me to shop at the plus size stores like Lane Bryant, too.

The way my family responded to my weight was acting like it was out of my hands and I was just stuck being fat forever, which hurt my body image A LOT more than feeling like I could change myself.

>>9155009
Yeah, I had a grandmother that acted the same way. She was convinced I could not fit Lolita or any form of Japanese clothing because I'm a white American. But I did and it confused the hell out of her.
What was interesting though is when she eventually died I found a trunk of handmade clothing she made back in the 1950s for herself and the waist on most of the pieces was a 22" or 24" inch waist. So... I guess she just had a really warped perception?

>>9155066
That's so weird. You would think the older sister, having "grown up" in the comm would be more lay back. I mean, unless the younger one has done really stupid stuff in the past when unsupervised, this sounds like such an unnecessary amount of hand-holding.

>>9155066

>Like if your kid is into something and you're concerned with their safety then put your foot down and tell them no. Its like when you go to concerts and there are moms and dads there with their shitty teen daughters it messes with the atmosphere

I remember going to Sakura Con and running into a really adorable Moka cosplayer, who in turn really liked my Garnet. My bf and a few of his friends met back up with me while this was happening and one of them asked what she was doing later that night only to be tapped on the shoulder by her father. Apparently she was only 16, and her parents didn't want her there alone (despite one of her friends being there as Ruby)

>>9154385
It's really tragic how much parents affect and fuck up their children. Like if the parent is overweight and has justified it to themselves through HAES, it's hard to watch their kid grow up healthy, or god forbid shed excess weight through picking up healthier lifestyle habits (because why couldn't they do the same huh) - so they make their kids fat and instill very unhealthy living and eating habits into them. "You can never be thin, it's just not who we are" type shit. They essentially ruin their kids' lives out of their own weakness or self-delusion. It's sad.

>>9155329
When I was 16 my friends and me would just go to the con ourselves. Like, our parents would rent the hotel but they'd just vacation and do their own thing and we'd go to the con. Even when we were 13 they wouldn't actually go around the con center with us. I feel like it's the equivalent of not trusting your 13 year old to hang out at the mall with some friends for a few hours.

>>9154368
>Putting a corset on a child

That's even trashier than that cheap, mismatched pink skirt

>>9155876
It's a high waisted skirt with corset detailing. It's not a real corset. It's just for show.

>>9155170
>>9155170
I FUCKING FEEL THIS, even when I was an xs my parents would always buy me 4xl shit. Like, last xmas she bought me the size 4 suit I asked for, very nice, and then got me a xl dress shirt because she was 'afraid a smaller size would not fit' and size 10 pants & made me try them on.
They fell down. like, in an impossible to keep on my hips kind of way.
you could fit two of me in them.
>Oh I guess that's the right size then is it anon?
I went from a size 13 in highschool to a 4 as an adult because they would just always bully me into eating the crap they make
>a box of pasta is not a meal for 3
>A BOX OF PASTA IS NOT A MEAL FOR 3

>>9155885
It's still creepy. Bustier style designs are not meant for kids, they are often seen as sexy and for obvious reasons.
Even creepier if the mom made it for her

>>9156282
Get over yourself, anon. It's not like the kid is wearing a bra.

>>9156282
>they are often seen as sexy and for obvious reasons
Historically it was just used to achieve a desirable figure, and didn't particularly emphasize the bust. The fetishization of corsets is a modern thing. It shouldn't be assumed you're involved in burlesque or BDSM because you wear one, anon.

>>9155203
I honestly get the impression that the older one is just controlling. Like idk if you're an older sibling, or if you have good friends that are also older siblings and the older one is a bit of an over achiever with the younger one living in the older one's shadow; I get the feeling that that is what's happening with the two of them.

>>9155329
Yeah at 16 my friends parents would just get us the hotel room and check in for us. Other then that spend the rest of the con weekend at home.

>>9155908
do parents like these think "extra large" means "much bigger than when you were a baby" or what?

is it the boobs throwing them off? is this how they deal with their babies growing boobies?

>>9156282
and a petticoat draws attention to the hips, signaling fertility

also skirts exist just to make a female more immediately sexually available to a male, and handbags are externalized vaginas (which is why men don't carry them), where a large, messy bag signals a used-up and slovenly woman while virgins carry neat, small clutches.

>>9157246
You gotta hide those dirty pillows somehow. They probably just can't fathom the idea of their child actually being thin because they were fat their whole lives.

>>9155092
>I was upset my hair didn't move like Ariel's in the bathtub.
Iktf. the most disappointing thing about the images Disney princesses put out is my hair can't do what their hair can.

>>9157252
kekd