Meet Killers

>>8756875
wish the girls in the foreground were better dressed, that would make this funnier. girl on the right needs a blouse, girl on the left needs a hair accessory, bangs, and possibly better makeup

>>8756899
This image is old as hell. They look fine for the time this was taken, which was like 2007 or so I believe.

>>8756902
I'm aware of that, that's no excuse for skipping a blouse

>>8756904
You sound newbie and tryhard as hell. Calm down. Sometimes people don't wear blouses. Sometimes it's too hot, or they were wearing a jsk with a cardigan and no blouse, and took off the cardigan.
It's clothes, chill out.

>>8756904
Believe it or not, the "must wear a blouse" requirement is a trend that came after 2010. Sit the fuck down.

>>8756899
Found the meet killer.

We've got a girl in our comm who's really sweet but is a total ita, and has been for the past year without improving all that much. She has some type of scoliosis, which I know is hard to deal with, but she's also really really awkward and can't pose or even smile for pictures. I dread her coming to meetings because of the group pictures but I also feel bad about it.

>>8756969
This has nothing to do with your post, but when you mentioned awkward posing, I remembered this girl I met online years and years ago (when everybody was still on Livejournal, specially egl); she used to dress lolita, but also vintage period style, she even wore like an old timey corset and underskirts or shirts under all her clothes.
She had a crooked smile, I think she had some deformity or paralysis on her face maybe?
Her posing was weird and she'd always mention how her hubby took so much care of her, that to us it sounded like borderline spouse abuse. She'd constantly talk about how she couldn't go to meetups, travel by plane to see her family, or meet friends, because her husband 'would worry too much' for her health or whatever.
He literally didn't let her do anything but have an online life. It was so awkward.
This was quite some years ago, I wonder if anybody here remembers her and who she was?

>>8756904
You obviously have never lived in Texas.

We have a girl in our comm who is not only a total ita, she also brings her bjd doll to meets. It's super awkward, since she'll pose the thing with her food/make it hold utensils, all while everyone is trying to eat and socialize.

Plus she always complains that she can't afford brand, which just isn't something that needs to be said. You can still order off taobao and not look like a hobo.

>>8757124
>can't afford brand
>has BJD

okay then.

This one girl is so off putting at meets. Thinks she knows it all (totally doesn't) and just sits there pouting the whole time if the conversation doesn't revolve around her.

There's one girl in my comm no one likes. Her first meet at a mall, she asked us to help her pay for her food because she didn't have enough money... Then bought herself stuff at the Claire's we visited right after. At least try to hide the fact you were being cheap and begging for money you didn't need.

There's a brolita in our comm, cool person and all, but his hair is super limp and he doesn't wear wigs or makeup and makes really cringey coord decisions like wearing cat tights with Luminous Sanctuary... Again, he's nice and sociable, but he would look so much better if he just tried a little harder, I don't get why he doesn't put in that effort...

>go to small meetup in local town square
>one girl brings her dog
>just sits and pouts outside every shop because surprise surprise you can't bring a dog into an ice cream parlor
>someone has to stand outside with her the whole time so she isn't alone
>wtf

>>8757206
Holy shit, that's so tacky. Did no one call her out on it?

>>8757340
Oh please anon, lolitas don't call each other out in person. That would be unladylike.

bringing kids they're babysitting to meets. i'm so tired of it.

>>8757220
Denton?

We don't have anyone at the moment like that, but I have encountered some folks in the past that drove people away from meets.

One girl, people cut slack for ages because she was in a wheelchair, but she was just surly and unpleasant most of the time she came to meets. She frequently complained that she was too big for brand immediately after hearing someone compliment another meet attendee's coord, and dragged her dad or older brother to every meet as her minder/personal assistant. She would talk in depth about her health issues to the point that people were uncomfortable, as well. We always tried to make sure that venues were easily wheelchair accessible, but if the ramps weren't directly next to the main stairs (example: one of the wheelchair access ramps wound a long sort of queue along the side of the building, because the main stairs were too steep for it to run parallel), she'd throw a very vocal tantrum that we were trying to exclude her by making her use such an out of the way entry. The ramps never went into separate doors or anything, so she'd "meet" with us again at the top, or people would walk with her and her dad/brother, but that apparently was still exclusionary and ableist.

Online, and on the comm pages, she was very sweet and helpful, but in person, it was like a Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde situation. It's almost as if being around the frills in person ruined her fantasy world and turned her super bitter or something. She'd just become a massive, self-centered bitch.

>>8757377

Holy shit do people actually do this

>>8757386
Person number two, a well-meaning but really irritating mother.

There was a girl who had recently turned 16, had only just gotten her provisionals, and couldn't drive alone for six months. I was already a bit wary of having someone that young coming to meets, because I'd witnessed some stupid shit from particularly stupid minors at meets, but everyone else was okay with it.

For a while.

After the third or fourth meet of making awkward small talk with this girl's mother, people started to feel differently. She was never overtly rude, but her questions were inappropriate and frequently aggressive to say the least. You could never tell if she was just trying to watch out for her daughter, or actively make people angry. One person who got stuck talking to her reported that the woman asked about her sex life out of the blue, with the implication that if she wasn't a virgin, that she'd be damned to the fiery pits of hell (the "girl" in question was married, 26, and Jewish; some Jewish women wear their wedding rings on the right index finger, so the mother didn't believe that this tiny girl she was talking to was actually married and kept on haranguing her). I'm pretty sure her daughter was embarrassed as fuck by these encounters as well. She stopped attending meets at all until she could drive without anyone else with her as a result.

To this day, I wonder if it wasn't the mother's goal to keep her away from the freaks and weirdos.

>>8757220

Pets at meets are always annoying. Just leave your dog at home. I don't want your yippy little furball pawing all over my brand and trying to lick me. It's gross.

>>8757206

I think bringing up money at meets is always uncomfortable and awkward. Like, don't tell me that you can't pay your own bills and your boyfriend has to help you out. Same goes for people who talk about how much money they DO have. It's just tacky to talk money in public like that.

there's a girl in our comm that always talks about herself on a too high voice level. She's the kind of person who just hums instead of answering when its not her turn to talk and you can tell she is just waiting for her turn to talk about herself again. No one wants to sit next to her at meets and people actually cancel meets because they cant deal with her loudness and self centered topics. On top of that i don't think i've ever seen her wear a true lolita coord, its always one of those 'special snowflake' outfits with occasional brand pieces.
Everyone is embarrassed to go out to meets with her too, its a nightmare.

>>8757131
What anon said.
>>8757124
Going off of this, I actually know a similar ita. I met her at a con once and she was showing her BJDs off. She later got into lolita and wears nothing but replicas and is really overweight. If you can't afford multiple expensive hobbies, just please stay in one. At least her dolls could look good.

At one of the very first meets I went to, there was a girl who was super awkward and inappropriate. She was really overweight and kept drawing attention to it ("Wow I wish I could fit in brand but I'm huge!"). At the cafe we ate at, she kept reaching directly over my plate of food to grab things she wanted off of the trays in the center and asking other girls for their leftovers.

The worst part was that she would be super TMI even though she had just met us, things like talking about how her mother called her fat and told her she needed to lose weight and how in middle school, and I quote, "no one liked her because she smelled like cat piss." It was so weird and uncomfortable. At one point, I was sitting next to her and she lifted up her skirt and an awful stench wafted up (another thing she drew attention to herself).

She went to a few meet-ups after that and was still just as uncomfortably TMI but thankfully she moved so she hasn't been to any since.

Tiferet

>>8757456
then kick her out?

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I feel like I might be a meet killer. I dont dress absolutely horrendous or anything, just simple sweet coords. But I think I get way to spergy at meets since outside of it I don't have anyone to talk to lolita about. I'm thinking of just becoming a lone lolita again since I'm really worried I just annoying people when I'm there.

>>8757124
Which comm?

>>8757509
Victoria

I kinda wish my comm dealt with problem people more often. We usually just hope they go away. We have some people who are overly sympathetic and they make it hard to correct anyone's behavior without fearing to be accused of bullying. They also don't want to hang out with them, though What we now have is everyone cancelling on a meet because that person is showing up. So technically we are still excluding them anyway, without being honest about it, when we don't even get something out of it.

Two words.

Emoji girl.

>>8757340
>>8757362
Yeaah, too much of a pussy. I told one of the comm mods when I got a moment with her the day of, but she didn't do anything. We all just quietly hate her because she's just annoying in general-thank god she lives in a far city and doesn't come to many of our meets.

>>8757377
I feel bad because I bet the kid was like wtf. If they enjoyed it and wanted to go, that would be different, but it seems kind of selfish otherwise.

>>8757206
I fucking hate this shit with a passion.
These 2 girls in our local comm ALWAYS pulled this shit. Always talking about how piss poor they are and how they wish they could afford brand but in the same breath talk about all the new shit they bought and how quickly they blew through over a grand. Seriously?

Flakes are a huge meet killer in my comm. They all vote on the date and cancel last minute leaving a sad organizer when there could have been a nice meet up if people answered the poll honestly and actually let the people planning on going decide the date. We also had some people who left without paying their bill or didn't show up for a restaurant reservation where food was already made for them.

>>8757417
does your name start with a D and end with an E because god you type just like a bitch I know, who coincidentally was a meet killer before she got banned lol.

There is a girl in my comm that I can't stand. I'm tired of her bringing her personal issues to a meet. Get a fucking therapist. I spend money to have fun; not to talk about problems. I don't care. Nobody cares. And the SJWs can go jump off a bridge. Feminazis, join them. Why are lolita communities so clogged up with special chans and crybabies? Take that shit to groups on Facebook that are specified for those types of topics. Quit bringing that shit to meets. It's not kawaii, and I don't want to hear it.

>>8757674
This why huge reservations that requires food prepared in advance (like high tea) is almost always paid in full in advance, through a PayPal transaction to the organizer of the meet, with a deadline for cancellations.

Our comm's meet killer is this god awful efame hungry girl who doesn't dress very nicely. I swear she could go on for days talking about her blog and unboxing videos. My friends and I try our best to not feed the troll, but she'll come up to random groups of people and find some way to bring up her latest project and beg for us to promote her.

We get it, you want to be famous. Go away and let us enjoy our lunch! You'll be on lolcow soon enough mate.

>>8757490
If you have a balance of listening and engaging in conversation, you're probably fine. And simple coords do not equate to ita.

had this one really young ita come to a potluck meet up. She ate all the food, wouldn't talk to anyone, and just broke down and cried in the middle of the meet. Apparently she wasn't getting enough attention while everyone was minding their own business and having fun on their own so she felt left out. It was so awkward.

Definitely turned me off on going to meets when she is attending.

>>8757206
I know this one guy who is the cringest, weebest black, gay teen. He showed up to a meet and begged my boyfriend to pay for his food. He then proceeded to order all this shit including alcohol and didn't bother asking or telling us. He still owes my boyfriend.

>>8757796
Ew, but she's young though so I guess it's understandable.

>>8756875

Let's call our comm's meet killer Flower Child.

The state of her skin-and-teeth, her terrible social skills, and inability to hold down places to live, and a 'mystical' first name, all point to her either having been an actual flower child or at least being raised by one.

Flower Child is a massive ita who brags about her handmade/thrift stuff (nobody asks her about it in the first place because it's all terribly sewn). She does not know how to hold a conversation about anything other than her sewing projects, her lack of money, and her sexapades at expensive cons. I have never heard her give a compliment to anyone else, or even a question... Many members suspect that she has some sort of mental disability.

>Do other people cancel when they see that they are going to show up?

Yes. One time Flower Child said "yes" to the event only hours before the event began. Another lolita, after arriving and hearing that she was coming, cries out "Fuck, Flower Child is coming?", which is exactly how I felt, and probably many others.

>How do they ruin the meet?

At one ILD afternoon tea, Flower Child piped up, "Yeah, it was hard hearing about [name of other comm member who had committed suicide a few months ago]." Flower Child did not know the deceased personally, but several other lolitas at that table did, and were still recovering from grief.

At the last cocktail meet, she brought neither food nor alcohol. Everybody was expected to bring at least one bottle/pack of alcohol, plus a dish of food. She just came and consumed.

>Who invited them?

No idea. Our comm's facebook group has an application process, but being ita or lacking basic social skills will cause an application to be rejected. Hell, it even seems like there are plenty of "fans of the fashion" in the group who don't actually participate in it.

>Did they eventually go away? And so yes, how?

Still with us!

I'm not sure if we have any guaranteed meet killers in my comm, but there's a lady that comes to every single meet in the same off-the-shoulder quilter's cotton dresses right out of the 1860's and the exact same unstyled ringlet wig with every coordinate. I've never actually seen her talk to anyone, she just sits in the corner in a super hunched posture and fans herself with a dollar store fan. People seem to like her just fine, but why does she come if she's just going to sit there and stare into the middle distance?

Also we have Carson, but nobody I know gives a fuck about her so whatever.

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Basically anyone who con jumps and isn't really apart of the community ruins it for me. I want to see friends I grew up with not cam whores thirsty for efame. That goes for photographers too that don't even know the source material. Why are you here!? You don't like our shit? Stop trying to be apart of it!

>>8757220
I remember this. Felt sort of bad but it was her own damn fault for bringing them.

>>8756875
When the teahouse you're in gets evacuated because the construction guys outside hit a gasline.

>at least lunch was free?

>>8757594
Which comm? It happens in a lot of comms.

In my comm, the meet-killer is actually the fb group manager. She's one of the older girls in our comm and been into the style for a while, though she's not very good at it (she either borrows dresses from girls who owns brand or wear one from her small closet of mostly bodyline, her ugly af handmades and some of the cheaper brands). She's almost 30 now but has a rainbow-colored hair, talks in a fake high voice, and makes a living from making weibo stuff.
I think most of us wouldn't mind all that (this comm is pretty small and there are lots of young itas around that just don't care) if she wasn't so controling over this comm... She's the main mod that has her own clique of friends, so even though we have 3 mods, the other 2 are her friends and just jestify her whatever she does. She always ends up somehow saying offensive stuff, mostly toward our more genderfluid members, then ends up claming she wasn't being offensive at all, with her two friends-mods jestifying her even though the offended member is still right there, says it was. It takes a lot of work just to get an "Im sorry" from her.
She's like that at meets too, if someone tries to organize a meet she'd take over by "giving advices" and will go as far as changing the location that the organizer planned on the a place that is "closer to everyone" (=her). We had a big meet at our country's harajuku walk this year and planned on a big group photo for our fb cover. She arrived dressed in handmade "larme" (not really, but that's a different issue) and when the picture was taken she pushed other comm members who wore non-lolita things out of the picture since "it's not lolita!" But ended up squere in the middle of our group shots herself, larme outfit and all. She even made sure to control who stands next to whom in the photo.
I could go on, really, but I have to go.

>>8758042
Welcome to /cgl/ newfriend

>>8758064

>assuming anon is racist because anon doesn't like social justice wankers
>making fun of weebs while browsing /cgl/

K.

>>8758093
> indisputable fact that using broken terms from a language u dont speak is racist
> implying that's not something present in most languages, even Japanese
> what is 'sankyuu'

>>8758093
found the meet killer

>>8758093

Whatever keeps you from crying at night, weeb.

>>8758093
>indisputable fact that using broken terms from a language u dont speak is racist
Welcome to /cgl/ tumblr

>>8758093

You're the gift that keeps on giving.

>implying Japanese don't Engrish all the time

But I bet you think Japanese are poor oppressed minorities who need protection from the whiteys.

>>8758093
Triggered

>>8757485
Faerydragonet

A person in my comm used to steal meets. As in one person would organize a meet and next year suddenly she made a official version that only she can organize. Somebody started organizing the Harajuku Fashion walk and she basically lied that she had been working on it longer and thus the meet was hers. She obviously hadn't done a single thing organizing and made up bad excuses on why she was supposedly working on this for weeks with nothing to show. She also would take her baby to meets without asking permission.

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>>8757968
IL drama time?
The harajuku walk pictures were going to be a failure from the start because about 80% of the comm are itas who don't improve and newbies. Most of the "lolitas" there were people that have never been active in the comm before or after the event.

The argument with Y was tumblr tier shit with him disagreeing with the fact that lolita originated from womens fashion. Both sides ended up looking stupid from the way it was handled.

>>8758096
ジェ・スイス・レ・ヰアブー

So, we used to have this girl who would organise meets, she would always make them as ~cheap as possible!~ because she was poor. So poor infact, that the thought of purchasing deodorant, perfume, or even just hot water must have been beyond her. Her bodyline went stained and unwashed, growing more yellowed every meet.

If you bought anything she'd stare at you, pulling the most woeful expression she could, and try and guilt you for it. Oh she wishes she could afford that food/item, you must be so lucky.
For a while, this would work, someone would take pity on her and buy her something, and she would fawn over them for being REAL princesses and so kind and giving and lovely, but then she would go to the next shop and load up on expensive sweets/pocky/weebshit, and forget her tales of living off a dollar a day, and never pay anyone back. People stopped attending her ~cheap~ meets, but then she started pulling the sad face/buy me things stunts at the regular meets too.
She eventually left the comm, which was a saving grace as numbers were dwindling trying to avoid her.

There's one person who ruins every meet-up with her attitude. What you need to know about her:

> brandwhore ita
> 19 years old
> smells like she hasn't seen a shower for weeks
> no job, is on a shitty college will be basically unemployed after that
> she spends her parents' money for brand and travelling to all brand teaparties over the world
> only talks about brand and these teaparties
> thinks she's bff with countless brand designers

Let's talk about her glorious moments on meet ups.
> "Ohhh guys, I'm just back from London! Do you guys know London?"
> doesn't shut the fuck up about London because she is obviously the only one who's ever been there
> another girl: "I think anon used to live there when she was younger"
> "Uhm. Oh guys, I was in Paris two months ago! Do you guys know Paris?"
> doesn't shut up about Paris because.. yeah you know.
> "Ohh guys my english is so perfect now!"
> it's actually not
> I'm from UK, but lived the majority of my life in another country, so my accents are totally fucked up
> "Ohh anon, you should do something about your accent!"
> doesn't shut the fuck up about my accent
> I know she still makes fun of it, but at least she doesn't talk about her perfect english anymore

She almost ruined the first meet-up for my friend
> male friend, first time he wears Kodona
> friend super happy to meet new people
> suddenly this bitch appears
> "blah blah blah brand blah blah I am superior because I wear brand and you all not"
> friend first thinks she was joking
> she was not
> friend on the verge of punching her face
> friend tries so avoid her, but since she is not super close to anyone, she "jumps" from one clique to another every five minutes


I'm sorry for this long rant. I needed to get this off my chest.

There's a girl in my comm that CONSTANTLY begs for rides. She's 20, with a boyfriend that I'm assuming doesn't work or drive and neither does she. She wears the same outfit every time: a dirty blouse and skirt that makes her torso look long as fuck with dirty ass slip running shoes that don't match at all. Every time she goes to a meet she's short on cash and won't even give gas money to whoever drives her loud, obnoxious ass. I've been avoiding meets because of her.

>>8757206
What comm are you in? I think I may be in the same one and know who you're talking about. If so, she's annoying af.

>>8758093
>indisputable fact that using broken terms from a language u dont speak is racist
wasai-eigo is racist
all your latin and french loanwords usage is racist
then i recommend you stop talking forever for prevent being one

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>>8757377
>bringing kids
I hate those little demons. The last thing anyone wants to be around while trying to have fun and relax is listen to a screaming child

>>8758198
whoa, she just livin the aristocrats dream, lol

Thia is supposed to be about people who ruin meets, not people you just don't like to look at

>>8757377
What no. Seriously?

>>8757900
>her sexapades
God I fucking hate this. It happens so much to me in everyday life and I just don't understand why people fell the need to others about there sex lives when they barely know them

>>8757460
Most BJD people I know are seriously overweight with bad hygiene and zero fashion sense and some are really unfortunate in the face department so I always wonder if their BJD hobby is just a way to feel beautiful by proxy because they feel they'll never be pretty themselves. Of course this doesn't go for everyone who owns a BJD but it would explain why all BJD-chans I've met seemed to completely neglect their own appearance while lavishing their dolls with expensive outfits and face ups. Then when they do try to dress up themselves they cheap out because the doll comes first and they would never be able to measure up to it anyway, so why bother?

>>8757594
My comm is like this too. Maybe I'm just an elitist bitch but I don't understand why we as lolitas are expected to put up with socially unacceptable behaviour that would get the person kicked out from any other group. Just because we dress like weirdos doesn't mean we have to be okay with people behaving like screaming toddlers or skipping out on the bill because they're irresponsible cheapasses.
Maybe I'm overcompensating because I'm autistic and have trained myself to behave properly in public but IMO if you want to be accepted by a certain group you have to behave in a way that is acceptable to that group, not expect random strangers to bend to your will. We're not a government agency, we're girls in frilly dresses. Being invited to our tea parties is not a human right you are entitled to just by existing.

>tfw I can't voice this to my comm because it would get me labeled a bully
>tfw I rage a little every time someone goes "b-but what about the autists? They can't help acting like screaming retards!" but can't say anything because it would get me labeled a bully
Sometimes I wish lolita communities were even half as elitist as weebs think we are.

>>8757483
ewwwwwww

>That one chick who's built like a hucow
>literally derails things with her tits
It was a steampuke meet; she knocked over a cogged-&-bronzed Thomas the Tank Engine.

>>8758170
Hi E. Didn't know you were here. The fact that the comm isn't great doesn't make your actions ok, you know. And Y is but an example. You're not as liked as you think... I know many try to avoid meets with you (which is hard since you force yourself to all of them...) But I try not to since I think this comm should be stronger and stand its ground, and thats what I'll keep doing.

Putting that picture on is just like you, though. Im pretty sure most if not all these girls would like it if they knew you posted it here. Nice.

>>8758292
We have a few girls in my comm with varying degrees of autism. A couple are fine, well adjusted and you can't even tell, but they occasionally bring it up when they have trouble with something. We have a few who are clearly awkward, but harmless if not a bit annoying. There is one that overrides the limit of what should be acceptable. I'm not even sure how she manages to show up. She seems to have trouble with even reading or writing, she doesn't understand simple concepts and she has made people very uncomfortable with her behavior. I've noticed that many meets she shows interest in end up being cancelled or only end up with a very low amount of people attending. I think it is kinda sad for the organizers since they end up with either no one showing up and having to cancel or being responsible for what seems to be a giant child.

>>8758170
>him disagreeing with the fact that lolita originated from womens fashion.
????????

It baffles me how some people just cannot grasp the fact that lolita is a luxury. Like, nigga if you cannot afford that shit -- if you literally cannot squeeze out the extra income to maintain this hobby -- IF OTHER ASPECTS OF YOUR LIFE ARE SUFFERING AS A RESULT OF YOU TRYING TO KEEP UP WITH THIS HOBBY THEN IT IS NOT FOR YOU.

>>8757900
D'oh, will not*

>>8758170
>>8758306
Whatever comm this is take your drama to the comm thread >>8744550

>>8758333
I know, right?
He said it's offending him to hear other lolitas claiming the origins are from womens fashion.

>>8757968
Oh Hi- Didnt think I would be here to see this, would you? I'm glad to see things is such an odd way. First - I am 29 and you are not so younger then me, so how is age relevant?
second - my 7 years of thriving business is a Weeboo thing? Such jealousy, I see.
I do not talk in high voice, wish I did though, maybe then your bullshit would have some truth to it. Our community is sadly made of noob Itas like you, who think that brand make you look good in it. or makes you better - and even with that you cant coord for shit.
As for 1 of the Mods - she wasn't my friend before you all started to demand she becomes a mod - right? so we added her on but she's not taking your side - why is that? not because you might be wrong, or that she has her own opinions - no no. that would be unheard of.
Meeting places? Dude, I live in Tel Aviv and can come anywhere I need. The fact that people suggest you dont meet up in a pit on the moon is not "taking over".
and the whole gender thing? I lived with a transgender for years - he was my best friend until he moved away. the fact that one gender-girl-boy has some other deep rooted isues with herself - keeps on changing her name, users and has a foul mouth about others? Its nothing about Gender - its about assholes being assholes.
And yeah, I fucking love Larme too as well as others style - does that make you jelly? are you sad that I made a non member for 5 years not attend a group photo in jeans and tshirt?
You wanna have another Mod? go to another group! go, start another one, with all you noob Ita friends. Have a blast, see if I care.
And yeah, I know who you are too - you double faced monster. Dont think I'll even talk to you ever again at a meet up. have fun with your hate and lies, you pathetic poor you.

>>8758306
Oh fuck you

>>8757968
>>8758382
What country is your comm in? I'm guessing not one with English as the main language.

>>8758306
Force? so people should come or not come to meets ups depending on who likes then?
I dont care about being liked, and if people dont come to meets because of others then they are scared and shit faced bitches, and they can stay at home and talk their shit.
the odd thing is - you posted this, and the picture and other stuff too. but I have friends who told me about this, who commented cuz they think you are wrong. But hell, somebody needs to be the hairy goat right? blame everything on me, see how long it lasts :P
and yeah - lets post all of thin in the Com! i'm all for it - let's see your true nature up front and not through sending children like N to do your dirty work for you in PM's. I have print screens of everything - lets do this!

>>8758393
Sounds like Israel.


What an absolute shitfest. You should all be embarrassed by this childish behaviour.

>>8758396
you are right, we are. Its very sad that some children don't go away, so what can you do but face it head on, on an anonymous board? :(

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>>8758382
>I lived with a transgender for years
>the fact that one gender-girl-boy has some other deep rooted isues
>its about assholes being assholes.
It sounds like you're the asshole desu senpai

>>8758399
Stopping adding into the shitfest would help, for one.

>>8757968
oh, and by the way - all you disgusting girls are living at home, with your parents, at such an old age. talking about weirdos? get a job! do something with yourself, you lazy spoiled brats!
pay your rent and then start talking, we'll how much brand you can afford then.

>>8758404
Can't really fault Mod-chan for not pandering to gendersnowflakes, tho.

>>8757206
Holy fucking shit. It should be against the rules to ask people for money at a meet. If you can't afford to buy yourself food, you shouldn't be there.

>>8758404
no one will be your sempai, not even an asshole like me :P stay alone

>>8758416
Please stop posting.

>>8758416
Holy shit you're making me cringe. Stop posting, you're making yourself look ridiculous.

>>8758382
Keep the drama going, mod-chan. If she's so ita, you should post a photo.

>>8758371
...what? Any screenshots or links?

>>8758421
i'm not an asshole like you, I wont post such things. but hell, come to the group, you'll find all the Itas in a second. If they were at a bigger group like AU or USA With more honest critic- they would have been chewed up in a second.

>>8758427
Aus here - Doubtful. We're honest; not cunts.

>>8758427
>Comes onto CGL to shit talk how ita and sad the poster is
>"But I'm not an asshole because I won't post pics ;D "

Either own your dickbaggery or don't post at all. It's a little late to take the high road here.

>>8758393
You seriously dont know where tel aviv is?

>>8758438
babe, I was always on the high road, you so low of a person you cant see anything.

There's a brandwhore oldfag in my comm who bluntly tells girls when they look ita, and now a few newbies refuse to go to meets out of fear of her.

>>8758444
Babe, you're arguing with multiple people here. I'm pretty sure the original girl from your comm stopped posting (you seem to be the only one left with crappy English) and now the people calling you an obnoxious dumbass are random anons who are purely going off your posts ITT. Which don't portray a very flattering image, I can tell you that.

>>8758441
I skimmed over the latter half of the comment and missed that, it was aggravating to read.

>>8758446
She's doing god's work.

>>8757682

No?! I'm not typing in any special way anon, so I'm very confused by this.

"Cuntwaffles" and twincest. A girl wanted to incessantly talk about cosplayers and her autistic friends and the more she talked, the more unnecessarily vulgar it got. She was also loud and in a nice diner it was really uncomfortable.

>>8757116
Texan girls wear blouses, cardigans, or cover-up regardless of weather.

We just don't go out before 7pm between June and September.

>>8758446
I aspire to be her.

>>8758217
And this is related to cosplay and j-fashion... how?

>>8757900
Sweden?
I think she is nice.

>>8758217
Nobody cares

For me, meet killers are anyone who talks about 'muh disorder', shares TMI about their personal life if I'm not close with them, dominates the conversation, talks badly about others, whines because poorfag or dresses badly. I'm convinced these reasons are 90% of why private meets are getting more common and I don't blame the people doing them one bit. No one wants to meet up with these sorts yet most public comms include them.

>>8757093
That sounds so odd. Now I wonder who she is.

>>8757116
Texas is no different from anywhere else hot in the summer and most people go from aircon in their house to aircon in the car to another cooled inside destination, they don't sit outside in the summer sun. It's really not hard to wear a blouse in those conditions.

> Our comm's facebook group has an application process, but being ita or lacking basic social skills will cause an application to be rejected.

This sounds like the best idea ever. Pity it would not be retroactive but every new comm should do this or guess what? You deserve every ita and socially awkward person who joins up and ruins your meets. Not fair, you say? Well neither is expecting the rest of us to just go along and tolerate shitty comm members who ruin meets.

>>8758371
He sounds deluded and unreasonable, anonette.

>>8758676
It should be retroactive!

There's a person in one of the comms I'm a part of and she's always complaining about how poor she is. She always dresses in horrible handmade and doesn't believe in personal hygiene, standard meetkiller prereqs. She keeps posting awful regretsy things she's made to the comm facebook page and begging people to buy them (if someone likes the image, she'll comment or message them asking if they'd like to purchase it) I've been avoiding meets that she goes to, because she always gravitates to me and I'm not polite enough to get rid of her without causing a scene.

>>8758686
Oh yeah its easy, just kick every ita and whiny child out of every comm all at once. What could possibly go wrong?

>>8757377
Wait, did the parents know about that?
If I'm paying a babysitter, I'd sure as hell expect them to focus entirely on my kid and not drag them along to random meets with strangers. It's a job. You're paid to keep the kid safe and happy, not to do activities that only you are interested in.

>>8758697
The alternative is to branch off and make an offshoot comm or only have meets with your friends--which is apparently heinous and elitist. You can't win either way, it seems. It really sucks.

Okay, now I'm curious.

I mostly stick to my own private meetups -- I go to cons and attend some of the larger meets, but overall I'm not crazy about my comm and I'd rather go shopping with friends than stand around a bunch of shrill children. I guess I never thought I'd get a reputation in the comm as "elitist" and right now I don't have any evidence that I do, but does that actually happen? Am I on the road to getting a bad reputation just for sticking to myself and my friends?

Mind, I'm very polite at the meetups I do attend, I'm certainly not sneering at people or anything.

>>8758796
We have a couple of people in my comm that remind me of how you would describe yourself. The problem with them is that they don't ever initiate conversations with other people than their friends at meet ups and just sit into a corner away from the rest. They come off as bad since they give the vibe that the rest isn't worth their attention. I tried to make conversation with them a couple of times, even started with a compliment but I just got brushed off.

>>8758292
>>8758308

My comm has 2 regulars that are autistic. One of them is a bit shy, but definitely a pleasant girl that we all enjoy seeing at meetups. The other is the meet killer. For the record, I understand that socializing in a way that is considered "normal" is actually very difficult for many autistic people and that autism affects people in different ways and different levels of severity. So obviously, I realize that it might be easier for Girl 1 to fit in socially than Girl 2. However, it's seriously affecting our comm because we all feel like we can't say something because she's autistic, but also we don't want to go to meetups with someone who behaves as inappropriately as she does. It's definitely a touchy situation.

>>8758796
I guess I'm not overly surprised, but it's still a really silly thing for them to get upset about imo. If you're in a comm for a while, you're going to become closer friends with some girls than others. There's no rule that the only times you can hang out with each other, even in lolita, is at big meetups. A few years ago, my two roommates and I were into lolita and would go out just the 3 of us. No one in our comm got salty about being left out of a meetup because they understood that those were not meetups.

How sad is it that I know someone who's GOING to be the meet killer? Their's this girl who I met at a con that I've hung out with once and she is the most horrible human being I know. She's racist (you should seriously see her Facebook), only wants to talk about her self, and worst of all that one time I hung out with her she woke me up at 2am accusing me of trying to get with her boyfriend BECAUSE I SPOKE TO HIM. As soon as she saw I joined my local comm she joined too and is now going to start coming to meets after never showing any interest before. I love my comm and everyone in it and I just know she's going to take that one thing I love the most and ruin it. Probably should've posted this in the feels thread.

I had someone I knew would be a total meet killer. I created my own small comm in my town, as requested by a few other girls.

She was continuously posting racist stuff and complaining 'it's so hard when you have a retard for a brother', and just generally being rude. So I removed her from the comm, she eventually sent me a message asking why. And I just explained that it was better this way.

>>8757900
Fucking yikes, man. How long has she been with your comm?

>>8758796
I worry about this same thing. I don't often get to attend meets due to my schedule but like to go out with my friends in lolita when I can, and they post pictures of us on facebook where our comm members can see. It doesn't help that I'm shy and, while polite and friendly at the meets I do attend, I'm pretty quiet for the most part. I hope people don't think I think I'm better than them or anything.

>>8758144
Kek. You mean you don't want to know all about her health issues?

>>8758394
Oh, please do this. I am bored and need something to read.

>>8759020
Nobody will think you are an elitist bitch just for hanging out with your friends in lolita. Its the girls who ignore, look down on or are mean to everyone at meets except their group of friends.

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>>8757900
Goddamn my half-assed editing. I meant to say "being ita or lacking basic social skills will NOT cause an application to be rejected."

>>8758524
Not Sweden.

>>8758932
At least 2 years.

>>8758676
My badly-written comment brought up a terrible idea. A "no itas" rule, whether in the initial application or just a mass culling in the current comm, would be bad for the fashion in the long term. It would prohibit or repel fresh blood from trying out lolita, meaning fewer people in the market.

Brandwhores would suffer with less potential customers for their items. And in every ita who asks people to accommodate their under-$40-budget, within them lies a future potential to become a well-dressed brandwhore when they find work and discover the wonders of disposable income.

Sure, kicking out itas may be refreshing in the short run. But it would endanger the comm's (and the fashion's) long-term prospects for survival. I remember a story on cgl about some historical reenactment or LARP comm, that decided to exclude people with subpar sewing/armor. Result: no young people joined. The remaining members slowly dropped out by moving away, starting families, or simply losing interest in the hobby. The comm dismantled.

Barring socially inept people: good idea, hard to execute! The mods have primary responsibility to crack down on bad behavior for the protection of the members. Each member also carries a small responsibility to speak up, either at the meet-killer to inform that she just did a faux pas, or to the mods. Many lolitas (including myself, to my shame) don't have the balls to do this.

The dangerous form of the meet-killer, is the missing stair. http://pervocracy.blogspot.com/2012/06/missing-stair.html

>>8758735
Doing private meets only with my friends, with occasional drop-ins for the public comm, might be what I end up doing. I have no idea if other members will think I'm elitist, but at age 30 I am slowly losing my fucks to give.

>>8759271
The LARP example is pretty situational though, a lot of thriving LARPs won't let you in if your costume doesn't meet their standards.
I imagine it's a bit of balancing act between keeping a community, and providing a better experience for the existing community. Like in lolita, if you have enough members that you're event has limited seating, it is definitely fair to restrict attendance to only those wearing lolita, whereas if you have a smaller comm, you might be trying to fill seats to meet the overhead of the event, and lower the standards greatly.

>>8758658
The difference is humidity. Not all all places with hot weather are humid.

>>8758424
Afraid not. He erased all of the comments after the whole thing exploded.
Also, it wasn't in English.

>>8758895
Someone may have to go to Girl2 privately. Find the specific behaviors that make it hard for her to socialize and just ask that she be mindful. A lot of autistic people don't realize what they're doing isn't acceptable and tiptoeing doesn't always help. If she's willing to listen, you can explain her actions and ask if it's okay if you point it out if she behaves a certain way during a meet (go to her privately, joint restroom break to just tell her, etc.) Or afterward. Most don't overreact if they want to fit in and make everyone comfortable. If she overreacts, see if she cools down. If she doesn't, then you at least tried, she'll just have to accept if people dislike her.

We had an autistic girl in our comm who used to flare up online sometimes, but she would apologize afterward, and she'd bring her best friend (also a lolita) to help keep herself in check if she needed it. So it was a lot easier dealing with her when she was calm or in person. She's moved since then.

>>8758895
>>8760423
The girl who used to be in my old my comm was autistic but probably would better be described as mentally handicapped since that might make the severity clearer. She isn't just socially awkward, she isn't socially developed in that she can't even speak very well. She isn't even able to flare up on line since her writing is gibberish with both grammar and spelling are wrong so it is very hard to get what she is saying. She only likes lolita because it is colorful and has bows. She would probably call pink pants with a bow lolita. She gets dropped off at meets by her parents and no one feels like they can say anything about it. I think people tried once, but her parents guilted them because there daughter is so happy to have finally made some new friends outside special school! Eventually we made sure she didn't find meets and her I heard her parents drop her off at cosplay meets instead still dressed in cheap bodyline lace monsters.

>>8758916
Block her on facebook, contact your mods about this. It's easier for them to kick her out before she attends any meets.

>>8758306
E = Einav?

>>8758170
IsraeLolitas
I have deduced the girl lying on her side on the bottom is the control freak.

>>8760491
That's actually really, really sad. The part that got me was when you said she was /so/ happy to have friends outside special school... and then your comm excludes her. I understand bitches throwing tantrums in comms, but not excluding people because they are hard to communicate with due to their disability. It reminds me of my friend who is deaf and at parties it's "too hard" for people to write down on a piece of paper to chat with her, so they'll try to talk to her, realize she's deaf, then walk away. It's just so cruel to have to experience that. A little kindness and understanding goes a long way. My comm has its problems, but I'm so happy it isn't like that.

>>8760588
I think that kind of misses the point. If someone isn't developed enough to have a conversation because they are mentally retarded is different to a deaf person. A deaf girl can take care of herself, can chat by writing on a piece of paper or read lips or something. A girl who can't even grasp the concept of what Lolita is supposed to be, she doesn't belong. I'd hate to have her in my comm because I feel obligated to take care of her and that's not the purpose of a comm. It's like dropping off a toddler at a meet because she likes pretty colors and rely on the comm to take care of her.

>>8760528
Why would you write someones name so publicly? This is fucked up.

>>8758170
Half of the people in the pic look like hons. They need better makeup and haircuts that don't give them horseface

>>8758170
Yeesh that's a whole lot of ugly.

>>8760588 I think you are reading too much into it. It was more of an exaggeration by her parents to use us as a babysitters-club. Even though she had no reading comprehension she had a pretty active Facebook, she definitely had friends and she seemed to go to things like petting zoos with other disabled people. I'm guessing she would mentally be about 8 years old. She just isn't fit to be hanging around adult strangers, especially those with no experience in how to take care of her. This isn't like excluding a girl with Asperger Syndrome because she is a bit awkward, this girl should have been in the care of professionals but was left with a bunch of overdressed girls who suddenly had to babysit involuntarily. Our meets weren't an adequate way for her to make friends. A deaf person would have had no issue, since he would still be intelligent enough to communicate with us.

>>8760491
I'm pretty spaghetti when it comes to mentally handicapped people, but this was a really sad story. Granted, nothing can be done about her strange behavior, her being super happy to wear lolita and have "friends" is so sweet. I get why you guys casted her out, but it doesn't make it any less sad.

>>8760606
You're projecting way too much. Ignoring the rudeness, it's straight up irresponsible for parents to drop a severely mentally handicapped girl off with a bunch of strangers, none of whom have agreed to take care of her. It's like leaving an 8 year old at a zoo and driving away. Honestly they could probably have charges filed if someone cared enough to report them.

>>8760756
>>8760800
>>8760811
>>8760606
I guess I agree she shouldn't be at meets if the girl wasn't able to care for herself and there was no one to support her-if she did need supervision, she should have had a helper. I was reading it as the comm was tired of her, and that tiredness stemmed from her disability being an impediment to communication (there was nothing about her really making a scene or tantrums). From the girl's perspective, I hurt for her because she was actually EXCITED that people without disabilities could be her friends. But then the reason they avoid her is because she has a disability she can't change.

I just sincerely hope she never found out you purposefully made it so she couldn't go to meets.

>>8760811
How am I projecting too much? I honestly don't get it, I thought I said the exact same thing you did?

>>8760825
Don't get me wrong, it's still sad.

>8760825
the reason they're avoiding her is because lolita is a hobby, not an unpaid volunteer baby sitting service. the fact that you're ragging on the girls who had no responsibility or requirements to care for a disabled person with extensive needs like that thrust upon them and not the parents obviously using them as free caretakers is pretty shitty of you, honestly.

>>8760825
It's not like we would have wanted to hurt her feelings, but at a meet up you want to dress nicely and have fun and relax. That just wasn't possible anymore and having no idea how to take care of such a person made it even more stressful. She had no true interest in the fashion either and she wasn't capable of understanding anything fashion related even if people tried to explain it. To her the meet ups were playing dress up like a princess and that just wasn't what we offered. Her actual age was around 25 and I've heard from other members that she started asking them sexual questions and that is something that is too much for most people to handle.

>>8760550
It's a control freak pose. "I am the center of attention. I'm half the photo so you HAVE to look at me."

>>8757682
If you were thinking of Dominique, that couldn't possibly have been her because she's a crazy militant vegan and I'm not sure if one of those would talk that way about a dog.

>>8760863

Whoa, what sort of sexual questions?

>>8760850
>>8760811
Yikes I'm an idiot, meant to reply to >>8760588
sorry!

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>>8756904
That's Btssb's Pocket embroidery jsk, its pretty much made to go without a blouse.

>>8760921
I thought so, was just wondering. You never know on /cgl. But yeah, we're right.

>>8760867
That's hilarious because I know one girl who I completely despised for her greed for attention (she's so much better now though) would pose exactly like this in group photos.

>>8760959
Don't respond to bait pls

On-topic: Our comm's meet killer is an ita whale who has done all of the following:
> Generally loud and obnoxious
> Has not worn lolita to a lolita meet
> Brought a stuffed toy to a meet and shoved it in people's faces to be cute
> Doesn't close her legs when sitting down
> Smoked during a meet without moving away from our group or asking
> Taken off her panties in public

Our comm has really relaxed mods so nothing has been done but I don't think anything could be done because she's pretty harmless besides her cringey, improper behavior. She's also autistic so I think those who know her are concerned with being labeled a bully if they say anything. I know plenty of girls who breathe a sigh of relief knowing she won't be at a meet.

>>8760925
Bless this anon. Sick of people claiming rules that do not exist.

>>8758382
>a transgender
oh ouch you just shattered your argument right there

>>8758170
Mod-chan is the dark brown cow in the middle? with the heart from the two ugly girls. I don't think that is Larme-Kei or Lolita style, honestly.

>>8757705
As someone with issues, I think this is accurate. Stop. I don't want to talk about how fucked up you are.

>>8757209
Are you from the stockholm comm? Because we got someone like that.
He's nice and everyone likes him, but it would be nice to see him put on a wig once in a while. It would at least be refreshing!

>>8761057
High-functioning autistic people can be corrected in their behaviour, though. If you politely explain to her why certain things she does are unacceptable nobody in their right mind would call you a bully. Then it's up to her to decide whether she wants to try to change or not. Keep in mind that it's perfectly possible for an autistic person to also be an asshole, so if she continues doing creepy/gross shit after being asked not to it would be okay to ban her because clearly she had no interest in not being an asshole.

This is not aimed at you specifically but it really grates on my nerves how autism is treated like an excuse to be gross and creepy and make people uncomfortable because apparently the common belief is that we're too retarded to know better. Someone who is high-functioning can definitely learn not to take off their fucking underwear in public (wtf?). Someone who is low-functioning might have more trouble with that, but they should not be at lolita meetups without a handler anyway.

>>8760893
I agree, though that style of typing does sound like her.

>>8756875
I guess my examples aren't exactly meet killers, but I am pretty uncomfortable when they join meets and sometimes try avoiding them. Both of them are "transgender" and honestly, every trans person I met in my life was a nutcase. That's just my experience, though. Anyway, one of them asked for advice and help with makeup and I tried to provide, told him places to shop and basics of makeup application, what to do to look more feminine, all that jazz. Did his makeup, looked pretty good (until that one girl jumped in and put powder over all the areas I'd highlighted before...). I even gave him a bunch of products, he never even asked how much I'd payed or anything, but whatever, he's slightly autistic, but a nice guy. I just can't talk to him about the same stuff again and again and supply him with endless pity cause he has a dick. But okay, he's nice enough and I like him. Transgender #2 seemed pretty shy and quiet at first, also quite nice, dresses pretty okay. Things really get on my nerves when he/she starts endless speeches about being transgendered and how they feel like women and about feminitiy and transgender #1 takes all this bullshit in like a sponge, when I stand there and think it's kinda offensive towards women. Please don't tell me what it takes to be a woman or how women are/should be. Pisses me off, women aren't magical creatures that are naturally beautiful, fart glitter and have no problems at all. Fuck this.
I don't avoid meets with them, but I can't guarantee that I can be polite enough to not give them a piece of my mind when this convo comes up again.
Also fuck those girls chiming in with all their false support and tolerance.
It's cool if you think you're trans, brolitas are cool with me and I'll gladly give advice when asked, but don't tell me I am special and privileged because I have an uterus.

>>8761679
I've noticed that trans people tend to be more self-absorbed and fancy themselves martyrs more so than any other special interest group. I even brought this up to a ftm in our comm, who proceeded to prove my point by going on about how being trans is one of the worst things a person can go through. a black lolita friend brought up how she had serious issues about her skin color to her (him, whatever, this bitch is a total fakeboi) and fakeboi was like "do you know what its like to look in the mirror in complete disgust?" and black friend said she did and put serious consideration into skin bleaching in the past, so of course fakeboi had to one up her and said "do you know what it's like to feel like your masturbating with an axe wound?" While being well aware that the black girl just had an abortion less than two months prior because of pregnancy complications, so she of all people would know that feeling much better than a mtf. Fakeboi didn't even realize how fucked up and insensitive what she said was until I pulled her to the side and reminded her later, to which she replied "well, she can just get pregnant again since she's a ciswoman", I just walked away and dont give her the time of day at meets anymore. Many trans people think that they're the embodiment of human suffering and anyone with their preferred genitals has a sunshine and rainbows life void of any problems. It's just so funny to me how they're so quick to dismiss everyone else's issues when, I'm sorry, but if the worst thing in your life is the fact you want different genitals, you have pretty much nothing to complain about and if anyone is "privileged", it's you.

I'm not against trans people or anything, I just wish so many of them would stop being so fucking selfabsorbed and get over their intense "my problems are worse than yours" mentality.

>>8758458
this is really embarrassing, can't you take a hint? stop. posting.

>>8761711
I agree. I thought the point of tolerance and equality was that your genetials do NOT determine what you can and can't do, but I guess I was wrong, for trans people that's all they care about. If people don't like themselves because of any other superficial thing and want plastic surgery that's often looked down upon, but wanting a super complicated and expensive operation because you imagine having a dick/vagina is fancier that's, of course, a serious issue...
We're a comm, not a gender identification support group, keep your genitals out of it.

>>8761057
>>8761580
As someone with mild Aspergers, what second anon said. See if you can talk to her one to one, and tell her what she is doing wrong and offer suggestions on how she can change. If she's a proper person, she'll take a hint.

Just make sure that you don't do it in public, because being called out on something you didn't even know you were doing wrong in front of others is incredibly humiliating.

>>8760893
She was a meet killer though. So cringy in public, and scared several members away from attending meet-ups.

>>8761760
I can assure you that 'real' trans people who do it because they legitimately feel no connection with their assigned gender hate these people more than you all do, since they hog resources and shit up the trans label for people who actually need it
I know a girl who told her mum she was a girl at 3, and now at 19 she had to literally run away from home to 2 countries away so she could live without getting harassed and abused by her mum on a daily basis (mum never accepted that her dear baby boy decided she was a girl and would inappropriately touch her, saying 'if you really want to be a girl you have to get used to this')
this is the kind of people who need support meant for trans people, but instead clowns who call themselves polygender or whateverthefuck get it. it's an abuse of those resources.

sorry for rant, here's my quick guide on how to avoid meet killers
>be a lone loli
>have meets by yourself

>>8761711
>>8761760
yes thank you. I'm tired of people as soon as I mention I'm a brolita freaking the fuck out or stepping away because they think I'm going to be fucking crazy. I don't tell anyone in the group, really, because it has nothing to do with lolita! Ugh just so many people I know use being trans as a personality trait.
Who are you?
I'm transgender!
Do you like anything?
I'm trans!
Do you like star wars?
I'm transgender (long rant about how star wars degrades someone for some reason)
Geez your gender identity should not be your whole goddamn personality.

>>8757608
She's been banned from pretty much every comm in the UK at this point.

>>8761799
PLease can someone fill me in on why she's so bad? We've sort of become "friends" as in we hang out a bit at events and talk sometimes on facebook, and I've never known her to be outright "bad" or anything, just a bit annoying here and there.

>>8761057
>> Taken off her panties in public
OK, I cannot stop laughing at this. I have spent an hour trying to come up with a plausible scenario on why someone would need to do this. The only thing that makes sense has a horror/sci-fi element about these panties were created by an evil alien who is remotely controlling them to squeeze her tighter and tighter, and she has to rip them off RIGHT NOW or she'll break in half. In any case the real story has to be just as weird. So please tell!

>>8761789

>'if you really want to be a girl you have to get used to this'

What the fuck. That mother needs her head examined. And then something very painful to happen to her, because what the fuck.

>>8761838
>these panties were created by an evil alien who is remotely controlling them to squeeze her tighter and tighter, and she has to rip them off RIGHT NOW or she'll break in half
Kind of hot. G-go on...

>>8761787
I....never said she wasn't....I was just saying that couldn't have been her typing that post because I felt that a militant vegan wouldn't be like "ew gross dog"

>>8761793
Right, I don't care if someone is a brolita or a lolita, I'll treat them the same. You want makeup advice? Sure, I love giving advice. You want help buying stuff. Sure, I love to help. You spout bullshit opinions? Sure, I'll give you a piece of my mind.

I haven't experienced any meet killers in my comm yet but I'm worried about one.

Basically, I know a girl because we had mutual friends. I try to be friendly with her, and I dunno how she feels about me, but in general I don't really like her and don't think we mesh well together, but I try to just be nice and polite for the sake of being nice and polite, though if she says something dumb I call her out on it. Anyway. She's kind of annoying and a bit immature - one of those itas who complains about other itas, the kind of noob that thinks she knows everything when she doesn't really. She was in the comm for a bit but then took a break, I joined and have been having a good time without her but I think she's been trying to get back into lolita again and I'm kinda dreading it cause I don't wanna have to deal with her awkward, annoying ass at meets. She's 19 or 20 but when you talk to her she seems much younger. I think all I can really do is help her dress better but I don't think I will ever be able to fix her personality.

ugh, sage because this is more of me ranting, sorry.

>>8761789
Wowww that's so disturbing. I'm glad your friend got out of there.

>>8760491
Peacock feather?

>>8761858
>>8762136
thanks anons, she's in a way better place now living with her gf. now if her documents and state support would finally get sorted out too..

>>8758144
I think it goes to show that Miki just completely stopped giving fuck when she let her sit by the door with her lizard the last night of fairytale.
I'm so glad she's been "too sick" to go to any events. Doesn't stop her from constantly lecturing people on whatever she decides she's an expert on that day

>>8761679
>every Trans person I met in my life is a nutcase
That is because they have a severe body dysmorphic disorder.
It's no different than anorexics being unable to see themselves as anything other than fat (even when weighing 75lbs)

There is no such thing as "being born the wrong gender"
It's on the same level of crazy as otherkin

>>8758382
B8

>>8758459
Not true. Nice try.

>>8758394
>the hairy goat

Is this the Israeli way to say scapegoat? I love it...

>>8762607
I think you're right, but anorexics usually avoid the topic while trans people seem to never shut up about it. Anorexics are usually punishing themselves and blaming themselves, while transgenders blame... society? There's this psychiatrist that said being transgendered means someone suffers from the delusion that sex is a choice. I pretty much agree.
Then there's people like another anon described here, who have acted the other gender since they were kids. But I'm not so sure about those either, maybe they're just confused about role models. Just because a girl likes to wear pants and her hair short, and mess around with boys, she can still be a girl and she needs to know that this is perfectly okay.

>>8762695
>Just because a girl likes to wear pants and her hair short, and mess around with boys, she can still be a girl and she needs to know that this is perfectly okay.

Fucking this 100%
There can be such a thing as a tomboy without "lel im a transexual gay boy. Don't misgender me~"

>>8762695

I mean, I agree to a point about the role model confusion but as someone who has a close trans friend who is severely bothered by her own penis and distressed she will never have a period, I think for some people it goes beyond role model confusion and seems to be a legitimate dysmorphia.

We can debate all day whether this dysmorphia is legitimate or is "crazy," but I think the root of the argument for me is separating the tumblr snowflakes who are doing it for attention from people who have a serious mental anxiety over feeling like their current body does not match what they feel they should have.

My friend tried to commit suicide because she hates her male body that much. Her hatred is not towards society, it's a very intense self-loathing. She talks a lot about her situation because that's her whole world right now--trying to escape the body she's in. I don't find it that annoying because it's nice to help someone kind of learn how to be a girl, or I guess present as one. It's different than the people who use it as their singular identity and in an attention-grabbing way. I can't dismiss her feelings just because I don't 100% understand them because I don't feel that disconnect between my identity and my sexual organs like she does. I'd rather people didn't have to attempt suicide to be taken seriously, but there is a huge difference between people like my friend and people who are trying on "trans" like people tried on bisexuality 10 years ago.

I'd hope that y'all don't see all trans people as delusional attention whores. My friend has every right to choose her gender, for whatever her reasons may be, and I'm not one to say she can't make that choice.

Polite sage for OT.

>>8762755
i love u, anon.

>>8758223
My comm has started having to specify that non lolita plus ones (kids) aren't welcome at meets because of one girl who cracked a giant fit about not feeling welcome because she always brought her terribly behaved children with her. At a recent meet she dragged one of her kids along, the kid proceeded to roll around on the floor screaming, she didn't say hello or talk to anybody and after about forty minutes she got up and left without saying anything. Just don't force your kids into poofy cheap dresses and haul them along to a cafe full of strangers, it's never going to go well.

>>8757483
Sounds like Tumblr irl. 'Oh haha I'm fat and comfortable in my own body! Let's discuss this.'

>>8762151
Nah, Peacockfeather isn't autistic. I think anon is from the Dutch comm because I remember some of them talking about having a severely autistic girl dropped with them with zero supervision before.
In that kind of situation wouldn't it be possible to contact the authorities? If someone is the legal guardian of a mentally handicapped person they shouldn't be allowed to just drop them off with a bunch of strangers and drive away.

>>8762755
Well, dysmorphia is still a delusion, so changing sex won't cure it. Studies support this theory. But of course not all transgendered people are annoying special snowflakes.
When it comes to comms and meetups, I'm never sure if the transmen are there because they legitimately enjoy the fashion, or if they'd use any excuse to wear dresses and talk about themselves.

A lot of these stories sound like they're about me but that can't be the case because im always the life of the party

>>8757131
depends on if she has a real resin one or like a hujoo thats plastic and tons cheaper.

>>8762741
>>8762695
God this SO HARD. It really rustles my jimmies when I see girls labeling themselves as "cool trans kids" just because they don't like playing with dolls or makeup. Women already get enough shit for not behaving in a certain way or for just existing, and by fakeboi logic, everyone who isn't a gross girly girl is genderfluid now. It's actually detrimental to the idea that women can break gender norms.

let's not derail the thread into another transgender debate alright kiddies, this happens in so many goddamn threads on here it needs to just stop

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>>8761679
>be trans
>all the normal trannies like me just blend into the background and no one knows unless we're naked
>one person sees a badly passing cliche trans woman
>"Hurr why are all trans so weird and gross? He'll never be womyn"
Where is the exit to this ride?

Also I believe that the newest way for the cool kids to explore who they are while growing up is experimenting with gender roles and it has nothing to do with being trans 80% of the time. Most kids will shed this gender experimenting phase just like our generation shed our neon tube wigs and parachute pants, especially when they grow up and realize that no one wants to hire a tranny and doing anything that requires ID is anywhere from embarassing to impossible.

>>8763565
>no one knows unless we're naked
In most cases at least a few people know because it's usually subtly noticeable, they just don't mind, don't say anything or just don't care as long as you're behaving decently.

>>8763613
pretty much, the jawline is usually a giveaway but unless you're looking for it you wouldn't know with a few of my friends.

can we please /thread this now like >>8763533 suggested? I just want to hear more of these goddamn meet killer stories

>>8758168
She is the worst. I hate it so much that she feels the need to bring her baby with her everywhere. Nobody cares about your baby.

>>8763622
>>8763533

Then post stories instead of just sitting here asking for the threat to stop being derailed.

Meet killer for me is whenever a girl brings her boyfriend and he's dressed nice in a suit and all, but he's clearly there as her accessory to say, "look, I have a boyfriend." I have been to meets where people brought a S/O but that S/O didn't actually hang out in the group and just let his gf do her own thing. Way more enjoyable than "let me shoehorn in my boyfriend" into this fashion meet because "look he's in a suit!"

Either wear oji or aristocrat or stay away.

>>8758399
>:(
>please stop now

>>8763666
Nice trips.

If bringing the not into the fashion SO thing were a constant thing from someone, it could get annoying, but I guess it would depend on their personality. If they were cool to talk to, then I wouldn't mind, but if they sit around awkwardly and are only there because of codependency issues, I'd get fed up real fast.

>>8763666
Hey Satan-chan, I don't care if a boyfriend just is dressed like an elegant normalfag, most important thing is that he is actually interested in the fashion. Seeing some bored guy just sitting there questioning his relationship it's a little off-putting.
I also really like to talk to people about brands and prints and new releases and well... generally Lolita-related stuff.
Some people seem genuinely disinterested in these topics, however.

>>8763652
We have a girl in our comm who's been bringing her baby since it was still a baby (as opposed to a toddler)

When it was a baby we didn't mind, since she just layed their in her carriage, never really cried and when she did she'd be changed/fed and that was the end of it. but now it's a toddler and is running around being a distruptive brat, throwing temper tantrums and generally being a nuisance.

I'm not sure how to bring up the fact that she should stop bringing the child to meet-ups. I'm sure I'll be met with opposition since we've watched her grow up and some in the comm are quite attached to the kid.

>>8763666
I would post stories if I wasn't a fucking lone loli

the general lolita attitude on boyfriends is gently sickening though, they literally just are accessories for some folks. kinda ironic compared to all the sjw 'female objectification' types

>>8758382
Are you the fat one on the middle of the pic with the big heart? you ruined the photo and you didnt let people be in the group photo. If you were so against "non lolita" you could have taken two photos, lolita without you and everyone. But no, remove the jeans and shirt one, place yourself in the middle with non lolita

>>8763703
Are there any others in your comm who don't like the kid coming to meets? I'd say talk to the mod about it.
It's hard to exclude someone, but maybe there is some kind of midway solution, like have some meets at kid friendly places and others where there's no kids allowed.
There should be like a comm for mothers to bring their kids and let them play together.
Personally, I don't see why anyone would bring a child to a meetup.

There's a lolita in my Comm that buys all the new releases of brand and never coords properly. She can be a real bitch at times and has burned several bridges within my Comm before.

Worse of all, she's an Admin. She organized a tea party last month and did my best to ignore her when I was there.

>>8758170
How is it possible for a comm to be this ugly? Even the two girls in the back who aren't hideous are poorly dressed

>>8763686

But these guys aren't. They're clearly dragged along as an accessory. It's no different than people who drag along an animal or a child. Leave your living accessories at home. It's just out of place and no one ever asks. They just say "Bringing my boyfriend" or don't even say anything at all and suddenly people show up and the meet doubles in size.

I have met one SO a girl brought who was interested in lolita and it turns out he's only interested in it so much as he wants girls to "model" for him. Nope.

There's one girl who won't stop whinging about cultural appropriation/raicsm/sexism. We really don't care but as soon as someone says anything about it they get labelled a raycis bogeyman.

It's all really annoying and I honestly wish she'd fuck off so we don't have to skirt around topics anymore and just talk like normal people.

>>8763914
Whenever my boyfriend's coming, I always make sure to make sure the organizers know, and I only do so because he genuinely wants to be there. He's friends with a few of the other lolitas in my comm, and even though he has no interest in brolita or male styles, he loves seeing and discussing lolita because he loves anything fashion related. He could easily hold a conversation about brands and quality, prints, cuts, good coords, etc.
He thinks ouji or aristocratic look retarded, but that's no reason to not be genuinely interested and knowledgeable about lolita.

>>8763669
Not them but-
>:(
>visual pun

>>8763957
Does she know some people consider lolita cultural appropriation?

> itas who have been in the comm for several years but don't even try to improve (like this one girl who still can't figure out that her weight doesn't compensate as a petticoat)
> people who show up to non-convention meets in cosplay
> thirsty, drama-starting efamous bitches

>>8763904
Chicago?

>>8763794
I guess I'm a little apprehensive about approaching the mod mainly because she's one of the people who are quite attached to the child. I'm worried I'll get brushed off and labeled a trouble maker.

She's the only mother in the comm so having meets that cater to only her would be annoying to be honest. We're a lolita community not a young mothers club. Most of our meets are "kid friendly", it's not like we meet at pubs, we mostly do gardens, museums, restaurants, etc which is why she feels comfterble bringing the child I guess. But just because you can bring the child doesn't mean you should IMO.

>>8764150
You can't appropriate from whites. Frilly clothing was invented by whites j/s

>>8763703
How does the mother react when her kid throws a tantrum? Does she just let the kid scream it out in the group, or does she pick the kid up and take him/her outside of the group or room until they've calmed down? Does she discipline them when they try to grab things/annoy other lolitas? If it's the latter honestly you probably don't have much room to complain.

However if she's just letting them run everywhere and disrupt the meet, the mod really needs to ask that she keep a better handle on her kid and can't just let them run amok. You can approach it as a compromise maybe with some specific examples of the behavior you want changed - "oh, I love little wee babylumps but sometimes it's stressful when they do __ thing, do you think you can ask the mom to take him out of the room to calm down when he starts doing that?" Try to find someone else to back you up too - the more people who are bothered by this, the more seriously the mod will take you.

My sympathies, anon, I do not enjoy being around very young children so I'd probably lose it if this happened to me.

>>8764127
Heart eyes at your perfect bf

>>8764905
Imo Museums aren't really something that's made for a toddler. If you bring a toddler, there should be toys, room for them to run around and/or other toddlers. At least at the musuem, depending on the exhibition, there's stuff to see, but kids get bored fast. Sitting around drinking tea is hell for most kids. Also what this anon said >>8764915

>>8764906
I take it you haven't come across tumblrites saying westerners wearing lolita are appropriating from Japan.

>going to a tea party in a bar
>someone asks if they can bring their kids
Why. Just get a babysitter. It's going to be super awkward if your kids are going to start playing up and screaming while everyone is drinking.

>>8766923
So inappropriate! I can't believe people actually think that's okay even on a casual basis.

>>8766932
People with kids are the worst. They try to foist off their little crap-factories on you because they want to force other people to have to deal with the annoying consequences of their decisions.

>>8763747

I'm not surprised, Anon. SJWs and Tumblrinas tend to think that just because "the patriarchy" does it to them, they should do it to the men in their life.

Which is bloody ridiculous.

>>8757124
That reminds me, a few years ago we had this older woman (in her 50's maybe pushing 60 by now) start showing up at meets and brought her awful looking BJD with her constantly. She didn't even wear anything remotely lolita and only came to research lolitas for her novel where her BJD character is the main character.

I used to be into BJDs and she and some of her friends were one of the reasons why I left the comm and eventually sold them when I got into lolita. They and others like her made the cringiest lolitas seem mentally stable and perfectly sane. I was so pissed when she started coming, but thankfully she lost interest and stopped showing up.

>>8766949
Why are BJD people so creepy 90% of the time?

>>8766961
You have to be a certain kind of weird to invest thousands of dollars into perfect little dream-dolls you end up thinking of as your kids.
I own BJDs myself, and most every BJD person is at least slightly strange.

>>8766934
I hate when people try to bring kids to social events not meant for them, but I actually don't think they mean to foist them off upon others, they just can't comprehend that their sweet little angel's oh-so-cute running around, screaming and temper tantrums isn't so adorable to others. Parents tend to forget that everybody else doesn't find their annoying offspring as fantastic as they themselves do.

>>8766961
Because the normal people who are in the doll hobby don't go around 'being a bjd person' and you often don't even know they are in the doll hobby until it comes up naturally in conversation. I'm a bjd person with no desire to bring mine to Lolita meets, turn the conversation to dolls or carry them around when I'm not doing stuff with my doll friends.

>>8766949
...ohio?

>>8766965
Mine were my comic characters. But man, looking back at myself at the height of my BJD obsession, everyone probably thought I was going off the deep end, and I probably was living at home at the time. Though I do admit, hiding your cash inside creepy doll heads was a great way to keep your kleptomaniac relatives from stealing your money when hiding it in other weird places just wasn't working.

>>8766941
you clearly don't know what you're talking about, please go back to your assigned containment board

>>8766965
Not all of us idealize our dolls or think of them this way. Some of mine *gasp* don't even have names and maybe never will. Some are art projects or sewing models. I try hard to avoid the 'creepy doll person' stereotype.
On the topic, I'd be pretty annoyed if another doll person brought her doll to Lolita meets and fussed with it/took photos, etc. Some people are legit creeped out by bjd too (more than you'd think!) and there are plenty of doll meets to go to, no need to drag it into Lolita meets. I'd only bring a bjd to a Lolita meet if someone asked to see one b/c they are interested in the hobby. In that situation, I'd show the doll then put it back in its case. I have a couple of doll friends who are Lolitas and we have gone out together with dolls while dressed in Lolita but I'd never force that kind of thing on a comm meet.

>>8758735
There should be "bait comms" that have shitty cheap meets, praise low effort cords, and coddle emotional babies. The crazy itas would be attracted and leave the real comm alone

>women openly, gleefully hating on men at a meet

I don't know how to handle this. I've tried arguing but it just gets awkward. I feel like I either need to shut up when they start trying to one-up each other with demonstrations of how much they hate men, or stop going to meets.

It's really uncomfortable to sit through all that vitriol. Just because it's a female-dominated hobby doesn't mean everyone wants to spend half the meet wallowing in contempt for half the human race.

>>8766996
No, as soon as a photo from the real comm gets out they'll be sobbing for inclusion, even if said "comm" was a group of friends celebrating a birthday together.

Meet killers
Creepers or people who act out or shitpost others should be outright kicked but these annoying things are sort of in limbo:
1. Socially awkward people who don't know how to behave in public.
2. People who talk too loud
3. People with TMI syndrome
4. Sjw who push their agendas
5. Special snowflakes of any kind.
6. Muh disorder, see #3
7. Overt weeaboos
9. Itas who never improve
10. People who bring pets, kids, SO or dolls when most of the group doesn't like it.

Private comm ftw. Firmly keep these 10 types contained in the public comm, RSVP 'No' if they will attend or sit far away from them.

We have a cocktail of assortment of Meet Killers in our comm. If there was an image I could dump, it'd be of a couple of lolitas enjoying High Tea in a padded cell with fire blazing on the walls. Yeah, that sounds about right.

>>8767003
So you tell them 'tough shit, sugar tit'. Only the local public comm needs to include everyone and even then, enough misbehavior can get people kicked.

>>8766940
I assume you are referring to the rape thing? My genuine opinions, not bait at all.

It is what it is - an accusation of rape should not be all it takes to destroy someone's reputation and get them uninvited to all social events. Haven't you ever dated a person who hid their crazy bullshit for a few months? Someone who tried to fuck up your reputation with a group? The male version of this is revenge porn (or otherwise spreading rumors that the girl is a slut). The female version is spreading rumors that the guy is a creep, or a rapist, or whatever. It's completely fucked up, but again, it is what it is - there are tons of people out there who can and do lie about this sort of thing, so it's stupid (and sexist, actually) to just assume the guy is guilty. The legal system doesn't work like that and neither should social groups.

If you don't agree, then I'm going to say that you raped me and people should ostracize you because of it.

>>8766996
We have 2 comms in my area, the more public one who calls itself 'official' is full of weebs, poorfags and itas, the mod has shit taste and compliments bad coords constantly. I think they have gotten even a bit more ita in the past year, I'm not sure how that is even possible but it happened.

The other comm is secret, small but members look much nicer to begin with and most active people are striving to improve. It's a pretty good situation that luckily just kind of evolved this way.

>>8766941
SJWs and Tumblrinas literally hate men. That's generally what all forms of modern feminism are about - hating men and ditching responsibilities, rather than anything to do with equality.

Sissies ruin everything. Every. Single. Time. No exceptions.

Can we not talk about the evils of feminism and false rape accusation in a thread about fucking lolita tea parties JFC

>>8767050
Fact. Honestly they're even worse than furries. I feel bad for genuine brolitas who just suck at dressing themselves but sissies are creepy fucks who need to gtfo of our meetups and into a fire preferably
>tfw we had one who cozied up to our underage members
>practically everyone over 18 thought he was a creepy perv but it still took us way too long to get rid of him because telling perverts to gtfo apparently makes you an evil transphobe now

>>8767003
Sounds like you're in my comm given this specific example. Did this happen a few months ago?

>>8767101
no, I just read about it happening on 4chan a lot.

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>>8758444
This is too good

>>8758796
Whether it is unreasonable or not, you're probably going to get that reputation. Sorry.

>>8767097
It's sorta on topic. SJWs tend to ruin any social group. I've seen it happen to comms.

>>8757131
>>8763472
It also depends on how long ago they had bought the BJD. Someone could have afforded the doll a year ago, but their finances change and now... no more excesses. Kind of how someone can't afford brand then their situations change.

>>8766961
IDK, but they are. I've got thousands of dollars into mine, but I am a lone collector. The last few times I interacted someone started stalking me for the next two years, and copied a bunch of my dolls when they had no interest in the company before hand.

we used to have a brolita in our comm, but then he stopped coming to our meets and left the comm entirely. I am happy he's gone

the end

>>8767354
Was he doing anything strange, or do guys in dresses just bother you? We have a really sweet brolita in our comm, I actually get really excited when I here he might be attending a meet. It feels good to know he feels safe enough around us to chill out in public with all our frilly butts.

>>8767558
>>8767570
what a fascinating experience of a meet-ruiner

i hope they leave your comm

Not exactly a lolita comm, but i was in the HS waaay back in the day, I've only been to about 2-3 meets, and there were a few times in the meet where this one guy was just intolerable. He only got into HS or joined the meet was because he had a crush on my friend, and through out most of the meet he would mope and complain about something. Of course i tried to be nice to him but he was just so fucking stubborn that it just got awkward. He was even acting creepy towards some of the girls(who were underage) in the comm. Luckily we all agreed to kick him out of our group because of his unacceptable behavior .

>>8767648
hoo boy do i have some stories from homestuck meets back in the day. i also knew a guy very similar to the one you described, he was in his late 20s and his cosplays, when he wore them, were all shit. he mostly just lurked around to creep on all the barely-legal 18 yr old girls, both myself and my girlfriend included. before we started dating he tried to keep us away from each other because he was "in love" with my girlfriend and kept trying to guilt her into going out with him, even though she was barely 18 and had rejected him several times already. it got to the point where he was basically stalking her, and doing similar stuff to a bunch of other girls, until finally for a private event one of the members of the comm was hosting he got booted because enough people complained about him making them uncomfortable. he finally got the hint he wasn't even wanted at the public meets either and made a huge dramatic deal out of ~leaving the fandom~ in an attempt to garner sympathy

one of the most liberating things i have ever done was telling him off for being a douche and that i never wanted him talking to me or my girlfriend ever again

(he also used to make us all call him by a dumb fake anime name. he was one of those)

>>8767679
oh dear,that must've been a trainwreck. But yeah the meet kill in our comm was pretty much a try hard who was a major creep, and would argue on the internet about controversial stuff. I only kept an eye on him because i didn't want him to try anything with my friend, but i eventually blocked him and my friend did the same because fuck this douche.

>>8767687
come to think of it I think he was salty i didn't invite him to this meet i made. I assume he was posted on CGL and everyone was shitting on it.

>>8767687
it really was. he also liked to pretend he was internet famous because there was one photo of him that had gotten a decent amount of notes on tumblr, and i wasn't there for this but my girlfriend was at a con with him once and apparently he was literally going up to random people and asking if they knew who he was. he was just a huge cringey drama queen overall i have so many more stories about him but i don't know if i'm willing to get into that saga right now

>>8767648
Oh ho, do I have the HS cosplay meet killers here. I am the shadow helper for my friend's meets. She loves being the leader. I like being organized and helping out. We also get this HS crew who wouldn't you believe it are homeless. Always come when we are wrapping things up.
Nearly always drunk and disorderly as hell. A acquaintance of both mine and theirs, legit begged me to give them the leftover food as "Pity them they are homelesssss." She went behind my friend's back knowing she'd say no. As well that I am the shyer and less confrontational of the both of us. They would lurk about, be overly sexually inappropriate. Take half eaten food and bugger off.

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Tiferet don't go to meets anymore but got replaced by someone even louder more obnoxious. Wouldn't stop talking about himself and constantly cutting people off mid sentence.

>>8767648
Oh man I was never into HS but my old roomates were admins or something of a comm and they had the craziest stories.
The number of times I'd be in public with them and someone from the comm would recognize them was ridiculous. We spent a lot of time avoiding most of these people.

HS in general are meet killers. Before it closed it's doors they were banned from hosting meets in Boston's Prudential Food court. They left shit everywhere in the back where they'd sit.

>>8767849
my local comm very nearly got banned from the park we frequented because of leaving trash everywhere. they don't hold meetups anymore because i hosted the majority of them and i stopped doing it when i came to terms with the fact that they were all immature fuckwads who i wanted nothing to do with. every meet ended up sparking ridiculous drama over nothing and it just wasn't worth the stress. i think some of the more obnoxious members of the group tried to host meetups after i retired but from what i heard they were all pretty awful because none of them knew what they were doing. i miss having a cosplay comm nearby to hang out with which was the main reason i put up with them for so long, but they were just the fucking worst.

>>8767859
I'm waiting for the Boston Commons to ban the giant cosplay 'picnic' It's like a giant hobo party. Complete with messy overweight, smelly cosplayers mucking the Gazebo up. I can't imagine the cringe the people of Boston have come every August.

>>8767869
ugh yeah as much as i despise my comm i've heard even worse about boston, i live sort of near there and i'm glad i never bothered getting up there for one of those meets. in a way i'm thankful for them sucking so much because i feel like otherwise my comm would be pretty much the bane of new england, i only started coming on here fairly recently so idk if any of the drama has made it as far as cgl but i know there were a couple incidents in the past that got somewhat out of hand to the point where people who lived in other states and didn't even know anyone from the comm heard about it

i'm so embarrassed to have once been a part of that shithole and so glad that it seems to have almost entirely died the past six months or so.

>>8767900
Well the shitty homestuck con is likely being sued. That made it here in news. But the big name 'group' running the events is falling apart. The 'admins' are pretty much eating each other alive.

>>8767921
yeah i heard about all of that, it was actually around the time i started coming on here regularly. i meant the drama from my own comm, though i think the biggest thing that happened as far as that's concerned was at least eight months ago, so i have no clue how far word got out about that, though i do know one of the comm members who has a semi-popular askblog posted about it which was why so many people were talking about it.

it's good that that comm seems to be falling to shit, i've heard so many things about it for so long that it seems well past due.

>>8758168
>>8763652
She's why to obsessed with her child. Every vlog of a meet is: 30% the equal meet, 70% child crawling on the floor.

>>8767097
He was the worst. So many people ended up having complaints about him, even the younger girls. I can't believe why we let him hang around as long as he did.

>>8763957
Just consistently tell her to shut the fuck up and that nobody cares. She'll call you a racist. Stop her mid-sentence and say "ahp, no, no, nobody cares what you think."

Ostracize her endlessly so she either cuts that bullshit out or simply stops attending. Any other option feeds into her complex -- trust me, I've dealt with these people before, and if you indulge them AT ALL (even by discussing it with them) it just encourages them to be more obnoxious. Most people are terrified of confronting them because they don't want to be called a racist, but... I mean, honestly, it's just a crazy person. Who cares. Ditch her.

>>8768312
This, if anything she'll write a nasty blog post on tumblr to get a half dozen likes and vanish.

>>8767934
Link to deets? I know a few people who got screwed over by the canceled con, and it really rustles my jimmies when I see the same group posting advertisements for their paid costume ball. Apparently they're also trying to raise two thousand dollars that are "required" to host a picnic in a public park where everyone brings their own food.

>>8768381
LOL, you know when I inquired about food they said they had no obligations. Sorry to hear about your friends can I inquire what happened?

>>8768389
"No obligations" sounds like a potluck where they aren't going to stop you at the door if you don't show up with something. So not only is the 2k not going toward the food that people are bringing, but they're letting moochers in too.

The only "expense" that I've seen posted is that they're buying a fence to put around the permitted park area to "make the meet safe".

>tfw you're the meet killer

Any tips to improve?

>>8768505
Learn how to listen to and read people so you know when you're making them uncomfortable.

>>8768505
what exactly do you do to kill the meet? advice would be easier with something more specific to go off.

but yeah as other anon said listening and learning to read people is really important, i don't know if you're autistic but if you are i know reading people is difficult so it might help if you had a close friend or someone who isn't, and who could tell you if you seem to be bothering someone?

>>8768505
I avoid all social situations because of this. I literally cannot stop myself from talking over people unless I'm just dead silent the whole time.

>>8768422
Wait...What? A fence? Are they truly that retarded? Welp everyone else can go home. Ultimate meet killer found. Roping off a public area illegally. Man and I thought they couldn't get any worse than "Oh we don't need a permit. So and So's cousin is on Boston PD!!"

>>8768381
Well I can offer some deets dif anon here.
The costume ball is hosted by creepy Rock Lee. But his 'organization' Is no longer affiliated with their stuff. He's been removed as an admin on the Main group fb page
He's the one that was named to be likely sued after the con fell to shit. But seeing how he tried to air his dirty laundry with his ex on Judge Mathis. She got a letter explaining they wanted to use her case on the show. He might try the same to people upset by the con. I think he finds it to be a power trip or something?

>>8768821
How do you function at work or school then?

>>8768905
I work for myself and all my interactions with clients, etc are online.

I pretty much stayed quiet when I was getting my degree. Group work generally ended up being me doing most of it.

sissies

>>8770028
Do people think this is actually a thing? I've never seen or heard anything about sissies except for this /pol echo chamber.

>>8767152
Same with MRAs

>>8770206

Yes it happens a lot, and yes it sucks when they show up and you know they're getting off on your disgust

>>8770206
Sissies are real. They don't usually try to contact Lolita's but a few do. Like brolita Jenny.

>>8770206
lol are you for real? just do something like go on tumblr and search the sissy tag or even Facebook and search sissy. same with any porn site. if you mean that you don't believe sissies actually come to lolita comms, go in the archives and search MB, the creepy sissy from SF. if you look at pics from SF from like 2013 you'll be able to tell who he is.

>>8770249
I missed this. Who is Nazi chan?

>>8770249
Deets?

>>8756907
>It's clothes, chill out
Not that poster, but I haven't been in cgl in a while. Did it change that much over here?

>>8770249
>>8770322
You're crazy. When she was a mod she actively reminded people they could make meets. It's not like she can do anything right now anyways, it's not like she's a mod.

We had enough of this drama, let it go. She hasn't even been to a meetup or posted to the comm yet since she came back. Calm your tits.

If you're at a meet and there's a total ita but you can sorta tell she's aware of it and she's asking for advice and tips, would you be annoyed? I feel like someone who comes off as humble and willing to learn (as well as interesting otherwise) would be fun to hang around, but I'm thinking others would find it annoying.

>>8770417
This has actually happened at a couple meets I've been to. A few obviously new people complimented myself and/or some of my friends' coords and asked if there was any advice we could give them and we didn't mind at all -- they were humble without turning into whining and self-pity and they clearly wanted to improve. We've all been new before.

Anyone who wants to be an ass about people who want to improve themselves isn't welcome in my personal circle. You wouldn't make fun of a fat person doing their best at the gym, would you?

>>8770223
Well, yes, but as a general rule MRAs don't really try to do things with regular people though, so they're more tolerable by way of being (mostly) invisible except on the internet. SJWS inject their shit into EVERYTHING.

>>8770223
>>8770855
>MRAs
I thought this was just a meme to piss off feminists

>>8766949
This sounds like potentially three different ladies I know into bjds, which led me to the realization I know way too many insane old women.

>>8770906
Nope. Real people who are pretty fucked up, based explicitly on a hatred of women and an extreme response to feminism becoming more visible (especially abortion debate + sexual assaults finally being covered in media). I read this one messed up article about them. This guy journalist went to an MRA meeting and had a lady friend come along, she got proposed to be some guy who kept touching her and a complete stranger joked about raping her. Also one guy was proud that his daughter said she was raped and he immediately threatened to kick her out if she went to the police. They're nasty.

>to keep it relevant
Elitists are meet killers. Hate hearing girls gossip about who was wearing what and reacting super strongly when they realize other girls are gossiping abot them too. I came to hang out in frills, not be petty and reenact Mean Girls.

>>8757901
I seriously doubt she owns any other dresses. I know who you're talking about. Her makeup always is so bad. Even her cosplay looks better than her lolita attempts.

>>8758923
This story is familiar

>>8771195
>based explicitly on a hatred of women
I don't think ALL MRAs are on that particular train. Some of them are just sad old dads who got fucked over by the legal system and lost access to their kids, or lost all their money from the draconian child support or alimony system, etc.

Like it or not, they actually have a number of legitimate points. Granted, the ones like you describe do exist - fuck those guys, btw - but I suspect they're the minority. Still, most of the "good" ones are still unworthy of respect because they act like little whiny bitches.

Feminism works because women are sympathetic characters to other women and especially to men - biologically we immediately want to help them when they complain or are in pain, even if what they're complaining about is bullshit.

When a man (e.g. an MRA) tries the same tactic, our response tends to be "suck it up, buttercup." So while I think MRAs have a point, I can't respect them - they aren't really using a winning strategy to get that point across or to accomplish their goals.

Also, 90% of these dudes come across as pretty creepy because they have no idea how to talk to women. But, I mean, is that any different from most regular guys?

>>8757520
AHAHAHAHAHA The moment I saw the first post I had a strong inkling of who you where talking about. I just lost it when my suspicions where confirmed. Don't know if you have her on FB but I feel like her constant BJD pics are appearing weirdly sexual.

>>8758292
>Sometimes I wish lolita communities were even half as elitist as weebs think we are.

This.

From my experience personal with fellow lolitas, we are mostly all really lovely people who are nice and accommodating. Probably too patient and lenient for our own good. I feel like /cgl/ and BtB pretty much exist to give an outlet to the nice people who have to put up with shit and lolitas with poor attitudes all the time.

Most of the time the people being hated on are bitches, annoying people or people with poor attitudes and personalities in general, which I think is fair. Even in ita threads, it is often uncommon for a person to be targeted with hate, normally we just bitch about the clothes and don't really take note of who is wearing it.

>>8760825
That is not the comms fault, that is her parents. If the parents where honestly interested in making sure their daughter was happy and safe they should have opened communications with the comm to talk about her attendance. She should have had a carer present, or a parent. Although it would have been a bit awkward for the comm I'm sure they would have cared a lot less if there was someone there to look after the girl.

They aren't healthcare proffessionals, they aren't carers or disability support workers and they aren't obligated to babysit. If you want to pin the outcome of this story on someone, blame it on her parents.

>>8761838
Pixie-teri

>>8771759
Except the large portion of the MRA movement who are female. All the MRA's I've met aren't women haters, they are just very disturbed by the extremes feminism is going to that aren't inline with equality. They are just sick of being disposable, having to 'man up' all the time, female entitlement, the spread of miss information and the disinterest that society affords to mens issues in favor of womens.

Of the women haters, how are they different from feminism? And if they are viewed as more sick that the man hating feminazis isn't that just more proof of an opinion perpetuated by female centric or female biased society?

>Feminism works because women are sympathetic characters to other women and especially to men - biologically we immediately want to help them when they complain or are in pain, even if what they're complaining about is bullshit.

That argument actually doesn't hold up for many, many demonstrable reasons. I will point you in the right directions.

1. Both Women and men are more likely to run to the aid of a crying baby girl faster than that of a baby boy
2. Women evolved to appear more neotenous as women who look more neotenous (or with child like or babylike features) will be protected by men.
3. Men are disposable, they must and have throughout the history and evolution of human kind protected women and children above their own lives.
4. Women still expect men to sacrifice themselves.
5. The main proponents against the womens right to vote, where women; because they where too afraid of/ didn't want to partake in mens responsibilities like conscription something that was a mans duty from birth (and interestingly enough, is what gave him the right to vote).

.. I wont go into anymore.

But honestly if you see a group of people who's suicide rate accounts for 80% of recorded suicide... and you think they are just having a whine.. You are warped.

>>8772436
Pls don't bring her up
I swear I feel like I can smell her unwashed fat girl stench just by seeing a webm of her

>>8772495
I have a very hard time buying into the concept of female MRAs unless they obviously have a lot of testosterone and a dude-brain ala Karen Straughn.

I think maybe you misread (or misinterpreted) my post. I more or less agree with a lot of MRA points. It's just that I think the way they go about doing it will fail 100% of the time because you can't use female tactics to garner sympathy as a man - it just doesn't work.

You might think it's "warped" to believe they're just 'having a whine' about things like the suicide rate, and you'd probably be right - the thing is, being right, by itself, never got anybody anywhere. It will continue to be ignored, because, like you said, men are disposable. This is both biological and cultural in origin, but mainly biological - the thing is that our culture used to reward male sacrifice with token gestures like being the head of the household. Now that we've lost those goodies, we live in a world where women get the benefits of being a man with very few if any of the detriments. Sure, it's not fair - it's bullshit, in fact - but MRAs think they're going to solve the problem by talking and advocating for more 'real' equality. They're not. Feminists don't WANT real equality - they want what's happening now.

MRAs will continue to be seen as whiny pussies because, in essence, that's what they are. If you want to get some real respect, advocate for something more radical than the cute, but impossible, dream of a fully egalitarian society. Start by advocating for the repeal of the 19th amendment >:)

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504KB, 453x467px

>>8772495
Found the MRA, but honestly how retard can you be. Have you ever actually read up on real feminism or just soak in the one spouted by bandwagon of teenagers?

>being disposable, having to 'man up' all the time, female entitlement, the spread of miss information
Feminism is equality of genders it goes both way. People tend to forget that just because fem is in the name doesn't mean female it means feminine in nature. So any real feminist should know the whole "man up" ideology is toxic and no one should have be forced to fit certain stereotypes based on gender. Its literally in the name you fucking idoit

>>8773579
Feminism, as we know it today, no longer strives for equality - it stands for a lot of things, but equality isn't one of them. I'd argue the primary thing it stands for is the removal of personal responsibility and/or agency for women.

First and second wave feminism were misguided, but at least they were more or less about equality -- equal rights and equal sociosexual freedom respectively. Those, especially the latter, are pipe dreams, but they are at least pleasant and "right" if you don't think about them too much.

Third wave feminism is bullshit, though. The reason why modern feminists aren't real feminists anymore is because feminism won. Women HAVE equal rights, they can vote, they can own property, they can do pretty much anything a man can do (legally speaking.)

If you actually believe in equality (I personally don't) you should call yourself an equalist or perhaps a humanitarian. To call yourself a feminist is to willingly associate yourself with something hate-filled and toxic - it is literally a hate group now. MRA shit tends to be poison too, but at least it doesn't try as much to inject itself into everything.

>>8773583
Why should people have to avoid the proper term because a bunch of children decided to make a fool of themselves? That just sounds retarded

>>8773725
It's not the proper term, though. I'm telling you that as for actual feminism, its goals are fucking complete - there's no reason to call yourself a feminist anymore. If you do then you need to accept that you are, perhaps inadvertently, associating your name with hate-filled SJW Tumblr types who are the stewards of feminism as it exists today.

It may sound retarded, but it is what it is. Consider that the "MRA" movement at its heart also doesn't sound that bad - shouldn't men have rights, especially in an age when the courts seem aligned against them? - but it's still filled with clowns, many of which have the wrong ideas.

Basically, you wouldn't store your apples in a barrel with a bunch of poisoned apples. Don't put your reputation and identity in with a group of hatemongering feminists.

>>8773740
>I'm telling you that as for actual feminism, its goals are fucking complete
Do you live under a rock or something
>accept that you are, perhaps inadvertently, associating your name with hate-filled SJW Tumblr types
Who cares what tumblr thinks

> girl in my comm
> super sweet and compliments a lot
> touches my dresses to see the print
> compliments a lot
> fixes my dress when something is wrong
> compliments a lot
> then openly posts and talks shit about you online.

Wtf??? Can you not be two different people?

>>8773766
>Do you live under a rock or something
Do you get all your news from the mainstream media? You're probably ignorant enough to believe that there's a wage gap.

>Who cares what tumblr thinks
If you want to be associated with tumblrinas, that's on you.

>>8773579
I'm just going to throw this out there.

No I am not an MRA, I am an equal rights activist. And yes, I have studied up on feminism and MRA because of this. I would even hazard a guess that I have studied up much more than you because well, to use your own words, "honestly how retard can you be" if you think that there is a "real feminism". If you had put any critical thought into feminism you would know that it is an ideology where none of it's followers can actually agree on what it is. This is easily demonstrated by them NAFALTing everywhere and never being able to give a straight answer when asked about feminism. There is no, "real feminism", just a group of salty women who have either had a bad personal experience and feel like their personal experience should dictate the life of others, have victim complexes or are essentially brain washed by an older generation.

You need to research your shit anon, your playing in the big leagues now. Spouting the bullshit that you have been told by older generations without actually doing any work wont cut it here, especially when there are numerous sources and research that aligns itself against feminism.

Basically from here you have to prove that feminism doesn't spread misinformation, doesn't sensationalize or inflate statistics and isn't a hate filled ideology bordering on a cult. Goodluck with that.

>>8773405
Oh I see, yeah I think I did missread your comment I agree with your points. I feel it is kind of sad that it's the truth that men wont get their rights without basically being feminism clones with dicks. I don't think they can win either way honestly, if they don't get more vocal they wont be able to break through the wave of feminism hate to be heard, but if they do go more extreme the societal reaction will only become more anti-men and so the feminists win. Society is still very female biased, but in a way I think if they just continue the way they are going feminism will continue to dig it's own grave.

There is already a significant push back of people being fed up with their crazy shit happening now. A year a go I wouldn't have been game to post my opinion publicly for fear of being bogged down with the tiresome "But if they step out of their house with their left foot first THEY ARE RAPPPIIISSSTTTSSSSS" (exaggeration I know, but it gets my point across I think). But even judging by the reaction my post has had, I think the tides are turning.

>>8757131
Bobobie is cheap as ass and looks like ass, it's very likely it's one of those or even a re-cast. Trust me there are cheap people in the BJD realm too.

>>8770028
tell us about sissies please ...