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/mu/ here, need some advice

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I figured /biz/ would be the best place to ask.

TL;DR:
>dad gets me a job interview
>can't avoid it because of reasons
>starts at only 80k a year
>not worth my time but i can't tell him that
>they're expecting me in the office in 20min

I'm wearing the most autistic outfit you can imagine and i'm about to solo this here blunt, then i'm walking in and introducing myself as Anon 'Wormz, with a Z' Anonson, and i'll do my best to try and speak in ebonics the entire time.

What else should i do to make sure i DON'T get the job /biz/?

The above should be enough but i have reason to believe it might not be, because of reasons, so i really have to come off as literally unemployable under any circumstance, if all else fails i'm probably gonna do a sieg heil and go on a rant about the jews and shit but i'd rather it doesn't come to that.

Any tips?
>>
try r9k
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>>984960

>80k a year
>not worth my time

hol up fellas we got the next skrillex in hur

how about you not be a useless fuckup your whole life and get a job?
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>>984960
Do you know what i would do for 80k a year?

I would, literally commit murder, and allow my boss to nut in my mouth on the daily.
>>
>>984960
How are you so valuable that you're worth above 80k/yr yet you don't have a job, live with your parents and don't have a business?

what job is it
>>
You don't need to act like a jackass. Why punish the poor guy who has to interview view you? Just walk in, say yo don't want the job but your father forced you to do the interview. Apologise for taking up his time, and leave.
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>>984960
Timestamp

i wish this was real, meh.
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>>984975
This ,stop being an edgy cunt
>>
Alright fags i'm already late and high as fuck which is good, i'll give it 5 more minutes then i'm going in.

Also to clarify: pops is loaded so i don't need a job for anything other then to placate him, the fucker is holding my trust fund hostage and won't let me flip burgers until i finish my demos so he keeps setting me up with these interviews that i can't blow off, i've already sabotaged two and i figure i'll find a decent drummer and get the demos recorded before he sets up the next one, then i get signed and he can go get fucked because then i'll have an actual career and the trust fund is mine.

>>984975
Its not just one guy, and they'll fucking tell him i said no, THEY have to say no otherwise i'm fucked.

Now can i please get some tips on how not to get a fucking job, what are some instant deal breakers for rich nerds in the tech industry, how do i get them to hate me?

I'll post the whole interview on vocaroo if you guys come up with something good that'll work.
>>
>>985016

>then i get signed

hahahaohohohahahaohaohahaha
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>>985016
Have you ever seen the movie stepbrothers? Something along those lines. Farting loudly during a serious interview would be funny.
>>
>>985016
Your father has apparently done a very bad job raising you, so I guess he deserves such a failure to be his son.

Just visit /g/ and learn few autistic phrases about GNU+Linux. Then sperg out about it being the thing since sliced bread and tell them you refuse to work with anything else but gahnoo Linux.

Also don't forget to insult interviewer's brand of laptop if he has one. Use words like 'pleb' or 'normies'.
>>
>>984960
>>985016

you sound like a total piece of shit, so i'll tell you the best way to make sure you bomb the interview. ready?

take it seriously. do everything you can to actually TRY and get the job for real. since you're a total shitter, your GENUINE efforts will fail you anyway.

fuck off bitch boy.
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>>984960
>there are people on /biz/ RIGHT NOW that are falling for this bait
>>
>>984960
i know a guy who told them he didnt want the job and got the job
>>
> this thread

I CAN'T STOP EJACULATING
>>
I LITERALLY HATE YOU SO MUCH
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>>985073
and then what happened
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>>985016
>the fucker is holding my trust fund hostage
your terrible unless this is b8.

>and won't let me flip burgers
Who the fuck wants to flip burgers?
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>>985064
Best advice ITT
>>
>>985064
>>985840
How stupid r u.his dad has connections. If he tries there a Huge chance he will get The job
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>>984960
>what's your biggest weakness anon?
I have no weaknesses.

>what's your biggest strength anon?
Probably bench press or shoulder press.. I'm more of an upper body person.

>tell me about a time you had to take leadership
Well I'm leading this interview aren't I?
Thread posts: 22
Thread images: 1


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