My shitty resume

>>3507903
>allow me to show my dedication to communism by commodifying my body with commercial lingerie

>>3507903

This girl is not asian

>>3507903
>hobbies
>Equipped three high-end computers with full liquid cooling systems
mpphhhhhh

>>3507918
>and taking a picture of it all with my Apple iPhone

>>3507903
define "dust"
If I like it I might get you a job,

>>3507903
Just be yourself dude.

>>3507903
No one gives a fuck about your hobbies. You shouldn't say you're "skilled" at something, just list off the actual skill instead of propping yourself up like some big shot nigger.

Seriously, when you apply to most companies these days they use computer sorting algorithms that pull out keywords that they're after to fill jobs with, so lots of this wording is just wasted space on your resume.

The companies you apply to "know" that you're good at something if they consider you to begin with, you can prove to them in the interview or on the job if you're truly skilled. Hopefully that makes sense.

You also don't need to say you have a fucking drivers license, Jesus Christ.

It needs a lot of work still but hopefully you make use of this advice.

>>3507903

>• Experienced 1600% earnings growth in the space of 6 months
>• Worked with Google to create an effective advertising contract
nope. 0->$16 not impressive
You didn't "work" with google to do anything

>HOBBIES
nope, if they care they'll ask

>Proficient
>Skilled
never use subjectivity

>>3507903
remove youtube shit
remove hobbies

>>3507919
technically

"collecting mechanical keyboards"
take that off, literally no one gives a shit about that on a resume. Saying you've played competitive soccer for 14 years is good though, it says that you're reliable. Try to work it in some other way than just having a hobbies section though.

>>3508259
>>3508169
>>3508011
>>3507974

Thanks boys. I'll most likely dump the hobbies section.

About the proficient and skilled shit, what do i put instead?

so I literally put bulletpoints of
-SolidWorks
-Matlab
and shit like that? I understand I am just trying to get the computer algorithm to like my resume

>>3507903
dude, email me - [email protected] - easy to upgrade this thing.

>>3507974
Or even just:

Experience with:
List of shit

Is that less shitty? I just find it autistic putting a bunch of software titles in a list with nothing for context

>>3507903
you'd have to pay me a lot to mingle with this thot.

>>3507903
None of those certificates are really worth including, but go ahead and take the leaf version of the FE exam to get your EIT as soon as you think you're ready. It's an easy way to tekk potential employers that, yes, you've taken enough engineering intro courses to be useful to someone

>>3508417
>implying you wouldn't
as disgusting as she is i would do even more disgusting things to her

>>3508417
yeah, same. the older you get and the more girls you have been with, the less desperate you get. women after all, are just stupid vain creatures that shit and fart everywhere. If they have a terrible personality, then they really have nothing going for them.

>>3508614
get some fucking standards.

>>3509435
>get some fucking standards.
is that body not good enough for you mate? Are you telling me if she walked up to you wearing that while you were sitting on your ass trading crypto and offered to suck your dick, you would decline?

>>3509482
i wonder what her sweet, sweet farts taste like.

OP delivered on the ether dust, good guy and I wish him the best of luck.

>>3509482

Depends on how much crypto I had.

I'm a part-time recruiter and make 50k per year doing so. Here's what I'd tell you before I even begin to work with you in order of priority (highest to lowest)

1. Specificity. Your resume is all over the place. I have no idea what kind of work you're looking for.

2. Get rid of non-essential sections like Youtube Partnership, Community Involvement, and Hobbies. Or save those to put in a cover letter if you have one.

3. Embellish sections like Work Experience and Technical Skills. You show that you worked at BB for almost 2 years yet have the same amount of bullet points as jobs you've only worked for only 4 months??? RED FLAG!!

4. In your Technical Skills section, "Proficient in" and "Skilled with/in" mean nothing. Say something like "X years experience with Y building/doing Z"

Eh, that should be enough advice to get you started. But just know this is one of the worst resumes I have ever seen from someone who, I'm guessing, uses English as his/her native language.

Good luck.

You win the award for most disgusting woman pic. Pierced, tattooed, communist. She belongs in a concentration camp.

File: flip.gif (23KB, 520x680px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 520x680px

why am i so attracted to extreme degenerates

>>3509650
Hey can I get your advice on this, I'm utterly hopeless because I'm a lib arts major, spent my entire adult life in College. Never worked a "real job" always been a freelancer doing everything from shooting music videos, to being a photography teacher, to website design.

The only interesting thing I have on my resume is I produced and directed a indie feature film, which sounds totally irrelevant, until you understand that means that I have real experience with team-building, recruiting, scheduling skills that could cross over to supply chains. I had to explain to people how to log takes and how to operate boom microphones for the best dialogue. I produced so much documentation, had to organize transport and shoots, budgets... fuck... I hated it.

But I'm sure no recruiter is going to look at that and be like
>He's got skillz to pay billz

So should I even bother getting out of the NEET life when literally all I have is?
>2012 - Bachelor of Arts
>2015 - Master of Arts (actually a very good college)
>2017 - Indie film which no one will see

>>3509731
what is the NEET life? i don't get it.

I've been working since i was 14 - what's going on.

>>3509739
Graduate.
Can't find (or won't) find a job. Or only work sporadically - not enough to ever have some self-sufficency.
Have parents or SO who pays for your meager existence and let you live with them.

Or in my case, get Autismo dollars from government that subsidizes middle-class mediocrity.

Needless to say I'm not proud/satisfied by it

>>3509731
I was kind of in the same situation. I couldn't find a job in my field either after my studies. And taught myself similar skills.

But depending on which kinds of jobs you apply to your skills and projects might have some real value. Knowledge of shooting videos, photography and webdesign isn't worthless by any means. If I were you I'd create a separate resume for each field (at least with minor tweaks) and apply for a broad selection of jobs. Also, I would count freelancing as a job (even if you had like two clients you can just lie about it).

I eventually started my own company. And used an initial investment to set up a website and buy some ads to get my first clients. That's also a possibility.

>>3509846
Thanks for the response anon.
>But depending on which kinds of jobs you apply to your skills and projects might have some real value
Off the top of your head what kind of jobs? I figure marketing as an industry is a good mesh for me. But I'm sure there are jobs I haven't even thought of in a variety of industries (internal training perhaps?) where I can use my skills.

>I eventually started my own company. And used an initial investment to set up a website and buy some ads to get my first clients. That's also a possibility.
I feel like that's my most likely option, just leverage my skills into a service which I can charge for - obviously I have some understanding of marketing and how to create an allure for a product/service. And more importantly after you've run a business - you know how to run a business

>>3509846
To add: in some communication, marketing and content jobs you can combine all those hobby skills.

>>3509891
You should just go to a website like monsterboard and search for keywords to find vacancies in whatever you feel skilled at. Instead of looking for job titles.

>>3509893
I reckon I'll probably go into "content marketing"...

>>3509909
...but this is a good suggestion too

>>3509731
Sorry, I work specifically with engineers/software developers since that's what I know.

My advice would be to try to find a recruiter for your field. I can tell you you're wrong about thinking recruiters would turn you away. Worse case, they'd take advantage of your lack of experience and offer you shitty jobs no other clients will take at a below-average salary. But, hey, if you want to work you'll be able to.

>>3509926
dude you're on 4chan - this is perfect, you have the hottest and newest ideas at your fingertips.

File: wendys-official-burger-1-e1483567628891.png (143KB, 529x389px) Image search: [Google]

143KB, 529x389px

>>3509961
>I can tell you you're wrong about thinking recruiters would turn you away. Worse case, they'd take advantage of your lack of experience and offer you shitty jobs no other clients will take at a below-average salary.
haha, okay that actually makes me feel better

>>3509971
including, but not limited to, fresh memes to hijack for commercial purposes

>>3509987
excellent - can always get a job in computers to start out with and grow from there too.

>>3509971
Wait, found better example...
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QhRHUj6784o

>>3510006
this is like an ICO commercial for tendies

TendieCoins based on ERC20. You would know the ownership of chain of the tendie you are about to consume.