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Someone inform my ass on buying stocks. Like give me the basics

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Someone inform my ass on buying stocks. Like give me the basics and everything I should know. I'd like to think I know about stuff, but oh lordy I know nothing about stocks.
>>
www.investopedia.com
>>
>>3240473
It's pretty simple:
>Put in the cash you've been saving your whole life
>Get a few % gains and think you're an investing god
>Get cocky and impatient and start doing leverage trading
>Lose life savings
>Rinse and repeat
>>
>>3240473
step one: don't buy stocks
>>
buy index funds, wait 30 years, be rich
>>
>>3240641
>don't buy the most consistent long term asset class ever
>>
buy dryships
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