Im writing a novel about myself as a neet that creates death

get a real job loser

>>3225347
If you're writing shitty novels, you have to pump them out fast with little editing

and no

give us an excerpt bro

>>3225350
got fired for beating up my co worker, Im neet forever with that on my record

File: thr.png (29KB, 614x466px)

29KB, 614x466px

>>3225360
its kind of embarassing but here

>>3225391
Don't overuse narrations.Also don't get right into action.Successful movies,books and entertainment in general have build ups where you know something bad is just going to happen

>>3225391
Write Isekai fanfiction/light novels and sell those. Not sure those fucks at Royalroadl make any money when they actually sell, but who knows? The japs make money off it

Garbage

Write a screenplay instead

If you're not gonna write good prose but you have a good plot, then stick to screenwriting.

>>3225391
Learn to use compound sentences, my 8 yo daughter can write better than you

File: pepe.jpg (22KB, 774x386px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 774x386px

>>3225435
>>3225413
what did thery mean by this

I thought it was pretty good OP. it's kinda funny, in a certain way. maybe go in that direction more

>>3225444
I'm sorry but I cringed throughout the whole story.Your plot is interesting,but your writing skills are......

>>3225457
how do I gitgud

>>3225486
Google star wars engagement curve.Follow that curve and my previous tips on writing,it'll definitely be at least successful enough to earn money.

>>3225391
>It was quite far but much bigger
>At first it looked like a man but soon it was realized
>This caused Stanley much distress as heard by his wife

File: 1502832557999.jpg (31KB, 600x500px) Image search: [Google]

31KB, 600x500px

>>3225444
If you don't know what a compound sentence is then you shouldn't be writing novels

>>3225347
> itll

No.

>>3225583
who cares about my knowledge of writing if I have the heart

File: 1502811690445.jpg (41KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 600x600px

>this whole thread

I'm representing a publishing agency and we're are willing to aquire rights to publish 100 thousands copies

>>3225602
>who cares about my knowledge of writing if I have the heart
Probably the readers who will stop reading after 5 sentences when they realize the book was written for 5 year olds.
>This is bob. Bob is big. Bob has a red car. Bob crashed his car. Bob cried.
Learn to use commas and the connective words
>This is Bob, he's a fat bastard with a red car which he crashed which made him cry.

>>3225632
>which he crashed which made him cry
Lmao

>>3225435
Probably not though. Your retarded little daughter probably sucks cock at writing in reality.

File: TAKE IT BOY.jpg (18KB, 508x381px)

18KB, 508x381px

top kek

>>3225632
but what about style

it might be a sort of style that catches on like Lolita

>>3225649
>like lolita
Lmao,Anon,Lolita was a revolutionary book in many aspects.Your post apocalypse novel is not that revolutionary

File: IMG_0877.jpg (51KB, 750x280px)

51KB, 750x280px

C.S. Lewis here. Working on my next book from heaven.

>>3225632
>Bob is big
For you

>>3225638
Jokes on (You), I don't even have kids, I was larping

File: 76W7F6GSF.png (131KB, 1435x561px) Image search: [Google]

131KB, 1435x561px

hope i could help

>>3225649
Or like Billy blue hat and Roger red hat and Jennifer yellow hat, or the hungry caterpillar.

>>3225660
Oh my god anon my sides my sides!!!

>>3225655

oh my bad bro

>>3225660
nice Im glad you put the tornado in there, its actually quite important to the rest of story

>>3225391

>A witchy looking figure she was.

OP please tell me this is bait. The entire excerpt is trash but that specific sentence is so bad that I can't help but feel it might be the worst sentence I have ever read.

It reads as if Yoda had a stroke while writing.

File: 1498656213183.gif (551KB, 268x200px) Image search: [Google]

551KB, 268x200px

>>3225660
10/10

>>3225653
this is fucking well written

File: IMG_0625.jpg (11KB, 124x124px) Image search: [Google]

11KB, 124x124px

>>3225660

bom she ded

>>3225680
I don't know why I read the entire fanfiction

>>3225682
Thanks dude. I'm trying.

>>3225391
autistic yoda

>>3225680
Now THIS is a fucking good story OP. Take some fucking notes. Why was I so engrossed in that?

Stupid power fantasy.

Good scifi has something to say. I dont think you have any original thoughts.

>>3225750
Making money isn't about doing something worthwhile, otherwise we wouldn't be /crypto/

>>3225733
>>3225701
Reach Overlord if you haven't. Much different story, but enjoyable 'other world transport', plus it has an anime and manga if you feel like blitzing through a chunk of it.

File: red-tree-orig.jpg (292KB, 1291x807px) Image search: [Google]

292KB, 1291x807px

As Stan exited the Bunker, he peered into the distance. The tornado was still far away, but it seemed to have grown larger than before. Stan made his way through the rubble, nearly getting his foot caught on a loose hanging bean stalk. Now a dusty heap of concrete and wrangled girders, this is where his house once stood. "How did I let this happen." He looks away, not able to look at it any longer. His cheeks redden as he is once again filled with shame. Footsteps. Stan turns and squints, the sun blinds him as he tries to see where the sound is coming from. Is that a man? "What in the..." A woman, she is covered from head to toe. Long dark hair under a black fedora. Glistening black boots and a heavy looking trenchcoat. Although there's strong gusts of wind blowing across the cornfield, her clothes don't move or flutter. "M'lady..." Stan shouts, "you shouldn't be outside in this weather!" No response. "What is it you're looking for..." Stan goes on "there ain't much left around these parts!" Again, no answer as she comes closer, now only a rocks throw away. He squints even harder, just able to make out a black face under the shade of her widerimmed hat. A shining black metal face. "What in the..." "ON BEHALF OF OHIOCORP INTERNATIONAL BUREAUCRACY OF INFORMATION AND FINANCE, I AM HERE TO COLLECT TORNADO TAX, PLEASE TRANSFER 0.000124 BITBEAN TO THE FOLLOWING ADDRESS OR SIGN OUR STANDARD TWELVE YEAR LABOUR CONTRACT. BLEEP BLOOP." One hundred twenty four microbitbeans. Stan would never be able to pay even if he pimped off his ugly wife. "NOOO!" Screaming as reaches under his jacket, fake gripping a pistol that isn't there as he charges for the taxbot. It will all be over soon.

File: 1i0jv1.jpg (19KB, 635x467px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 635x467px

>>3225895
I would buy this book

>>3225347
>>3225895
op do you have any email address. I have contact with a publisher.

File: Gold-Standard-Quality-Seal[1].png (12KB, 222x224px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 222x224px

This whole thread is gold standard. This is why I come to /biz/.

>>3226262
I already whatsapped this thread to my mates, this thread is pure comedy

>>3225361
This could be a story that could sell.
You have a unique style, use it to tell us more on how you got fired, Stanley.

>>3225347
Have you tried writing your novel in the form of an ICO? That would sell.

losing my shit here

I just realised maybe you can be like "chris simpsons artist" who draws and writes terrible but that's his gimmick. You can be a shitty writer and people will follow you like it's the special olympics

>>3226233
say what you want to say boy, everybody can hear your offer!

This is really bad writing OP, but there are tons of bad anime's. So my proposition to you if you don't care about littering the world with more bad anime(don't worry, there's tons of idiots out there that think it will be good if the art is OK), is to write an anime, then have an intelligent jap write good sentences in japanese out of your crap and try to get those anime shekels.

Godspeed!

>>3225347
I have the death fetish, have a lot of women get killed.

>>3225391
HAHAHAHAHA, this is fantastic OP.

Funniest thread on biz since the beaded lizards

>>3225895
quality bitbean shill

publish it as a person of color and it will be shilled by "urban literature" jews

>>3227357
Fuck off to a sick mixture of /b/ and /r9k/, Bateman.

>>3225682
>beginning sentences with a conjunction
This is shit tier.

Spice it up with some cyborg sex, then you'll have a NYT top seller on your hands. Good luck brah.

>>3225347
Go for it, it worked out for Harry Potter lady, it was like a last ditch effort. Put an ounce of effort and you might make it on the New York best sellers list. If half assed Harry Potter can do it, you can too