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>tfw grown out of 4chan but have nowhere else
I hate how the pseuds are so in my head I'm going to finish reading books and that I find boring (manufacturing consent and guns germs and steel and snow crash). I don't even have the balls to live life how I want. I feel the need to go through SICP even though I'm about halfway through and it has stopped feeling as useful. If I lived according to my tastes I would immediately postpone SICP and stop reading those books or other boring books. I simply don't have the balls to live according to my intuitions.
I have no short, easily rememberd, always correct life philosophy that will tell me what to do and I hate myself for it even though I know it could never be created.
People who espouse philosophical beliefs or lifestyle beliefs are all hypocritical snake oil salesmen astrologers. Even the ones who aren't selling you something are like nails on a chalk board when you don't want to be spooked.
I over analyse my life to a stupid degree. Real example: Should I read books on my phone on the train for 20 minute journeys to read more books? Will this type of efficiency simply degrade my life in to an information consumerbot? Is it a sign that I am hard working? What if it's not worth it because I would pick worse books than I'd read at home? Is it worth reading books 3 to 6 pages at a time? What if giving the mind nothing to do is the healthy and smarter option? What if it's not and I bore myself for no reason?
Background:
>aged 26
>no friends or social life since 18
>no female attention ever
>went through university with zero social experiences
>became the loner nobody talks to within two days of my current job
>never been to pub, club, or party
>missed out on all the 16 - 22 formative social experiences that people look back on fondly (teen crushes, school prom, school dances, university fresher's week, any sort of relationships at all)
>know that women all have 5000 tinder matches and think the average male is ugly
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so why is this on /biz/
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It seems like you're worried about making the most optimal decisions, but really you should just make any decision and stick with it. You're thinking too much. It get more exercise and get out of your head.
Otherwise, you seem like a good person who genuinely wants to improve. One day you will actually start living your life according to your inner truth, whatever you consider that to be. Until then, stop worrying so much. Start to enjoy life.
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holy fuck get this blog post out of here lmao you're never gonna make it I promise you
learn to socialize shit dick and read some RSD shit (Real Social Dynamics)
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>>3154368
no wall texting, this is the only pic you're gonna need this year
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>>3154368
well you either kill yourself or start doing something to improve your situation. anything else is illogical if you want to minimize suffering. and you DO want that right anon?
Don't answer btw. Just let this thread slowly die. You posted to the wrong channel.
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>>3154368
OP we are very similar and <1 year apart. I have those thoughts too. kiind of a relief to hear someone type that out, since I wasnt sure if I was alone, or if it was just not important enough for other people to say anything about it.
>(but if its important to me and not them then how could we be having the same thoughts?)
Id like to find a way off of 4chan too. maybe crypto is the way out. do you have any goals besides learning programming?
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>>3154368
>>>/r9k/
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just get rich from crypto like we do faggot, it's not hard.
then when you're rich you can pay to not be a bitch. literally pay to have your problems fixed, or if you're still a bitch you could pay for people to be around you pretending you're not a bitch.
i'm sure it will do wonders for you.
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>>3154368
You got the ADD dawggg. Get a prescription if you can afford it or try out some modafinil then you'll actually accomplish something without thinking about all the alternatives. Tunnel vision is the key to being successful in a field
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>>3154368
Also the reason you're in this position is because you
>know girls get 5000 tinder matches blah blah blah
You are setting yourself up for failure before you begin because the only one stopping you from going out and having the experiences you want is you by preconceived notions on how those experiences would be. No one is going to save you, so nut up - stop being a negative bitch, and go take some risks, even if it's just calling someone.
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>>3154368
Everyone thinks the world is cold and act like it anon. In reality there is no spoon.
Go to couchsurfing events to learn to socialize act if you're travelling. And always remember, you will never see any of these people ever again and you're nothing but a walk-on part on the stage of other people lives. Any humiliating things you say or do will easily be forgotten.
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>>3154368
Guns germs and steel is literally a fucking retarded shit rag.
Dont waste your time
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Now i must admit that i didn't even bother reading and im assuming your problem is total horsefuckinshit.
Go to shower and sleep. Tomorrow to work. Other advice is not coming.
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