Is anyone else both completely blackpilled AND lazy? Hopefully

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Is anyone else both completely blackpilled AND lazy? Hopefully I can stop the laziness today.

I hate how ugly non Chads like myself are seen as disposable, laughable shit by society. I am demoralised by things wherever I look. Attractive girls everywhere with 5000 tinder matches, outgoing and posh people who get high paying jobs practically handed to them after being judged by their clones, advertising and pseudointellectuals everywhere telling you what to do while threatening you with abuse.

At this point I feel no separation between work and outside work. Everything fucking becomes work. The gym ("Have a perfect programme, diet, sleep!"), reading ("Read these 100 old and boring books and claim to like them!"), or anything. I always feel like I have to do 100 things at once or else I'm a failure in terms of some hierarchy.

I see snake oil salesmen, pseudo intellectuals, and intellects frauds everywhere. Most people in society simply ride along inside institutions while being judged in qualitative terms by their normie clones.

If I'm brutally honest with myself, I don't yet have the balls to live according to my own intellect and taste, which I trust. I am going to wake up tomorrow and finish reading a book I find boring (and can articulate why) because it is old and praised. I will drink coffee during my lunch break mainly because I will feel like a non-go-getter without it. I will read a book on my phone during the underground train ride to read as much as possible, even though I view erudition as a pseudointellectual attribute in this modern era. I will not live according to my tastes.