Welcome to The Salty Shekel. How Jewish are you?

>>2810597
I once took a loan from my grandmother with Alzheimers and told her the next day that she just imagined making the transfer.

I'm a wej, the opposite of a jew.

I was genitally mutilated by force as an infant

That's pretty jewish

>>2810597

Forged my own signature

>>2810597
I was circumcised as a child, actually save coins in a piggy bank to later have them changed into dollars at Coinstar, and eat light to avoid spending.

I'm also constantly thinking about how to make money.

I sometimes take my son places with his friends from schooI. If i buy something for one of the other children, I keep a small booklet detailing how much they owe, the date, and a description. I ask them to pay their debts every time I see them, and refuse to let my son be around kids who are over 30 days past due on their debts.

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>>2810597
I don't think I paid one shekel for an app or computer software in the last 10 years.

>>2810735
like a jew would ever pay coinstar fees

he's in line counting out pennies to get his matzoball soup

I live in a van to save money on rent even though I could buy a house

>>2810894
That's not jewwy. That's just sad.

>>2810894
Job?

>>2810597
I loaned money to several homeless men (>$40) at interest. Only one of them has paid me back so far tho

>>2810934
That is charity, very unjewish-like

>>2810597
>I take back every steam game I buy to then illegally download a copy and finish the game.
>I don't buy ketchup. I steal them from fast food chains.
>I always eat at my job to never buy food.
>I always report a lower number on anything that asks how much I make.
>I have food stamps when I know I don't need them.
Saving up for a day when I can just go to different country and report my death and run away keeping all the cash in some untraceable format.

>>2810946
That is not making money, that is staving off the inevitable.

You are no jew.

>>2810939
It's not charity, those are LOANS. But for me it's more like gambling since they may just spend it on crack.

>>2810597
I wash and re-use zip topped sandwich bags, eat beans and rice for every meal and collect cans off the street for recycling change. Am I jewish, or poor??

>>2810970
>poor
A lot of you guys don't seem to understand what being jewwy is.

>>2810894
How did you make your money? How did you end up in a van?
I'm curious because I can't imagine you retaining a high pay job while living in a van.

>>2810976
I'm white-nigger-tier Irish American. I don't have the heart to lie, cheat and screw people over - if that's what it really means to be a jew. Fuck the jews! I'm buying ETH with my bottle money.

>>2811000
>Irish American
the rest was redundant

>>2811009
kek

How Jewish am I? I picked a quarter up off the floor this morning...
>Yeah, so?
...in someone else's backyard

>>2810880
no fees if you get a gift card

>>2810597
I once took a quarter from the take a penny leave a penny tray

and I didn't leave a penny.

>>2811128
Finally, a truly jewish move.

>>2810880
This >>2811101.

Amazon charges far too much for shipping. And I say that as an investor.

>>2810597
Ran a pump and dump group for penny stocks for an investopedia game against some commerce major who I no longer consider a friend but was a friend from highschool. Also, I'm actually Jewish.

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after I smoke weed I compulsively

>buy lots of gear at harbor freight
>20% off coupon only works on one item/person/day and they know me there
>If I need 4 things even the cheaper ones, go to the store 4 days in a row

>greatgrandfather owned a town house with 20 apartments in it
>war happened, then commies
>the gubrimint took it away to house some dirty proletariat goyim
>fast forward to 2005
>the town decided all those pre-war town houses are in ruin and are making city center look ugly
>renovate it, connect fast internet etc.
>immiedatly dig up proofs of ownership
>go to court and get it back
>raise the rent by 100% to get those filthy goiym out of there (or if they pay the rate, they can stay for now)
>i literally rubbed my hands after this

>>2810754

That's actually smart.

>>2810597
>I refuse to pay extra for pre-sliced food, whether it's pineapple or chicken or any other similar fruit/veggie.
>I do all my own work on the cars I own
>I make six figures but drive the mustang my wife had in high school to work every day because it still works
>I get all my casual shoes second hand from my brother in law because he only wears his shoes for 3-6 months before buying new ones
>I still wear several pairs of jeans that my mom bought me in high school. I'm 29 years old.
>I spend my down time at work plotting various savings projections based on theoretical lifestyle changes that would allow me to increase my savings rate, and consider whether I'm willing to make that sacrifice in order to retire earlier.
>using this method I've already cut down on lunches out (I get $30 per month now down from almost $10 per day), I've bought a home gym instead of paying for a gym membership (cost me $800 up front but saves me $40 per month forever), and I've figured out that Costco saved me almost $200 per month in groceries because the portion sizes are too big to keep in the fridge, so I'm more likely to eat it all since I have to break it down into meal size packages and freeze it, which means it takes longer to spoil.

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>be me
>16(this was two years ago)
>start a YouTube subnetwork
>add thousands of minecraft letsplayers on skype
>tell them I'll make them the next pewdiepie
>show them three large channels I partnered at a 90/10 revenue split as "examples" of how they could grow
>proceed to sign them up for a 2-year contract that guarantees me 60% if their revenue for """growth advice"""
>do absolutely fucking nothing
>profit, A LOT

Did I beat the Jew at his own game?

>>2810597
I still have my iPhone 4s. If it ain't broke don't fix it.

>>2811406
>>2810754

I mean it's kind of smart, but are kids aware they'll owe you? Like if I was, idk 10 years old, and my friend's dad took us out for ice cream or something, I'd pretty much just assume that's a treat.

>>2811416
This being frugal, not jewish.

>>2810880
>Choosing a giftcard on the Coinstarmachine, then disconnecting the cable so the machine can't buy the giftcard and getting a cash voucher with 0 fees. http://gizmodo.com/238176/unethically-hack-coinstar-to-bypass-9-fee
>Being a truejew

Pick two

>>2810951
Gambling in the sense that if they do spend it on crack they'll be so addicted they'll come crawling back and suck your dick to pay off their debt and get more crack money?

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>>2811425
Oh, now on to other Jew things

>my dad is a sports radio host; advertising deals pay for our condo(his house), his car, my car, tickets to local professional sports games, my private school(partially, I make enough to pay for the rest), a boat, and RV. do we need most of that shit? No, but it's free.

>I haven't paid to go to a college football game in six years: my dad has a 2002 press pass that, for some reason, they still let him and I go in. I'm off to that same college in the fall so I'll be bringing that with me.

>I'm kind of known to always have an extra dollar on my person, so I started to loan people money for snacks at school with a 25% interest rate. I went to a private school so people actually paid it.

I'm not even Jewish, just a very frugal Irishman, picrelated.

>>2811034
Did you sneak into that yard just to get the coin or were you there and happened to pick it up? Important difference there.

>>2811443
My single largest crypto investment is in a dice gambling platform. how's that for Jewish?

>>2810597
>Got a Wall Street Journal subscription with airline miles. Includes both print and digital access. Something like 350 issues in a subscription
>Login, set subscription to be on vacation as much as possible (basically 2 months away, 1 day back, 2 months away) for about a year out.
>digital access continues when you're on vacation, but the subscription is metered by the number of print issues remaining
> Now use maybe 4 issues a year of subscription but keep online access
> If I forget to set being away, constant WSJ paper delivery reminds me to set it for the next ~year.
>Now enjoy WSJ online access that would otherwise cost $220/year for decades

>>2811492
Jews don't gamble. It's too stressful for them.

>>2811504
You moron, I'm helping finance the bankroll, I'm not personally gambling with my own money. Jews don't gamble, but they love to lend money and set up rigged games for suckers to lose.

>>2811425
>start a YouTube subnetwork

How do you do this? And how did you make those other networks famous enough that you could advertise to all those other YouTubers?

I stole a pack of yugioh cards from disneyworld.

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>>2811525
He said Jewish, not nigger

>>2811514
I'm looking at a crypto gaming platform. Are you guys licenced in Curacao or...?

Around a year ago I was at a cafeteria where they ring up all orders at the end, and I got a hamburger with two patties (1 extra, like a dollar more), but once I was there I just said thr name of the burger, neglecting to mention the double patty, and they didn't notice so I underpaid by around 1.07 USD (7 cents tax).

It was my college's recently built cafe and I went there multiple times but that was the only time I intentionality jewed them. I thought they might notice by looking at the burger, but no... they didn't.

>>2811561
Wait... inaccurate memory recally. Extra patty was 2 dollars.
I actually underpaid by a whopping $2.13

>>2811449
does this still work? fuck those fees

>>2811406
This is very good. You can teach your son how to avoid parasites.

>>2811416
your wife hates you

>>2810597
>How Jewish are you?
I have a very high IQ, that's a pretty ashkenazi feature.

I put $20 in a box and got a goy to put $20 in a box, after which i sold it to him for $30

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>>2810597
>How Jewish are you?
I own a payday-loan shop.

How Jewish am I? How Jewish am I? I'm so Jewish I recycle plastic sandwitch bags. I'm so Jewish I save used bacon grease so I can use it next time.

I bought dollar coins from the us mint with my credit card and deposited them to my bank. Got free cash back rewards and a free cash advance. Gov cancelled program.

Work weekends for my landlord so don't pay rent.

Get obamacare and get free addy each month.

Pirate everything from magazines, books, newspapers to movies.

Use $0.01 grocery bags for trash bags from costco business.

>be pizza delivery guy
>Get a cash order
>Slap a bunch of coupons on that order, taking between $2 and 50% off orders
>So goy orders $25 worth of food
>I put $10 off coupon on it when I leave the store
>Tell goy that'll be $25
>He gives me $30 and says keep the change
>Go back to store, ring up the order, $14.50, put it in and pocket the rest.
>Hundreds of extra shekels a week doing this
>System is 10+ years old and completely unable to determine at what point the coupon was added.
>Doing this shit for 5 years and never even close to getting caught.

>>2812103
Jewish. Bacon grease. Pick one

>>2812272
Fuck that's pretty smart, I gotta get me a pizza job

>I have tay-sachs and don't waste money rubbers when I fuck my cousin

>>2812295
Come to think of it I do a lot of Jewish shit with it.

>Don't carry coins, just round up the order and give change in dollars, nobody says shit

>Ranch, garlic and marinara and all that shit are 25 cents, if somebody doesn't order them and asks for them I say yeah man but they're 50 cents.
>Probably been sitting in my car for a week too.

>Trade fat ass small business mechanic down the road 2 large pizzas I get for free for oil changes and minor work to my car.

>>2810597
I found a cent lying on the floor at the gym's locker room. I picked it up.

i reached into a lucky fountain and took out five kroner. i left ten euro cent. good trade. i still have the kroner and i like how shiny the coin is.

I work for Bancor

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>>2812914
I'm so Jewish, I went all in on the Bancor ico with 25 ETH!!

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>>2811416
>I make six figures
> I'm 29 years old
wut

>>2811523
You can't anymore. God, if I still could I would be to this day.

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>>2812973
This is jewed, not jewish...

I have a jewish grandmother.

>>2811369
what country?

I think it's really funny when goyim think being a complete cuck with money is a desirable social trait, regardless of how big or small the amount of money is

>>2811557
>licensed
Fuck if I know, not like anyone in regulatory agencies has a clue anyway.

>>2812976
...is that so hard to believe? I'm 7 years into my chosen career path with multiple certifications and specialized skills. $100k isn't that hard to get to.

>>2813617
I think its funny the real holocaust is coming and the jews continue to commit mass organized crime and brag about it. you are going to die jew. by war or nature. you will die

>>2810597
I'm selling my used 1060 for 120% of the original price, just got a call from someone willing to buy.

>>2812272
I didn't think pizza places even let you pay in cash anymore

I just figured everything is online

>>2813651
oy vey the anal pain is palpable
didn't realize goyim were immortal

>>2813671
kek I bought a r9 390 for $280 new, mined the hell out of it for a year, then sold it on ebay for $350 used

>>2813829
Actually sold like 12 of these - took about a week to do when all of the normies were buying up GPUs. 4 of them were RMAs that died on me. Last week I picked up 10 GPUs from newegg and sold them for $40-100 profit each

>>2812042
Okay... why would anyone decide to spend $50 on a box containing $40?

>>2813829
Good deal, my fellow merchant

>>2813815
there is no such thing as goyim. there are good men coming to kill you. actually line you up and bulldozer you into ditches with cell phones recording and even some 3d cameras so its real clear. the 3d 4k drone footage of the new holocaust will be epic

all the questions of were jews gassed? were 6 million really killed will be answered with a definate yes and more. it will be recorded in high resolution with celebration across many culture and people around the world. you had your dirty fun jew. now we celebrate your end

>be germanfag
>grandparents were commie-slaughterin nazis
>have big nose
>circumsized pen0r
>like money

wtf am I a crypto jew or sth?

>>2814375
cripple jew

>>2810597
I'm 1/16th Jewish on my mother's side.

>>2810597
As a child I would ask my parents for 5 dollars for lunch

Then secretly make my own lunch and pocket the cash

>>2814498
0% jewish

doctor cut the tip of my dick off
blood so much rabbi sucked it and said mazel tov

>>2814498
>not making goy do it 4 u
gentile

>>2814608
Teach me your jewish ways

>>2814611
... someone pls tell him what im talking about

>>2813261

Poland

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>>2812272
>working as pizza delivery guy for 5 fucking years

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>>2812326
Kek

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>>2814346
>>2814367
guys this is precious, take note of this anally pained mudslime

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>work at small restaurant in tourist area
>work my way up to become de-facto manager, but jewish owners refuse to raise my wage
>they're also okay with me not doing receipts to all customers, because they don't want to pay all taxes
>start doing way less receipts, especially with dumb tourists that actually pay cash
>make €2-300 euro a day completely tax-free
>put half of them in the money bag at the end of the day, so the owners don't suspect anything
>go at it like this for 1 year
>since I'm not jewish I spent some in hookers and stupid shit
>still saved €15k
>they compliment me for doing a good job and still running the restaurant well
>still no raise in sight
>I gave myself my own raise
>devilish.png

haha i sure do love /pol/ threads on my /biz/!!!

sage & report

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>>2812326

I forced my date to pay for my starbucks coffee because she forced me to go to starbucks

>>2814821
guys take a look at this dumb jew who still thinks only nazis and muslims are gonna kill everyone in his tribe

>>2814901
tl;dr:
>stole money from business out of spite for not getting a raise
wow

>>2814901
Nice one lad :)

>>2814821
the day of the oven is soon kike, it is written on your Talmud, that is why you use tanks to fight little kids who throw pebbles at you.

>>2813671
made 150% off an rx470 I bought a week ago.