Death Industry

You'd need at least 500k.

I work for a funeral home so here's my take.

Funeral homes are a seriously expensive business to get into. In my city most are inherited as family businesses or part of a corporate chain. A single location needs facilities for embalming, a parlor for visiting, a chapel, and offices and meeting rooms to deal with clients. A crematory is optional since you can always find another funeral home to provide that service until your volume is high enough to make it financially worthwhile. Generally this means a pretty large building.
Additionally, you need at least one hearse which go for around 60-80 thousand. Most also have a removal vehicle, usually a van to go pick up the dead. It's normal to have a town car or SUV to help transport family members as well.
In my state you need to have a license to be a funeral director that requires a college education. If you don't want to hire an embalmer you will also need to attend mortuary school to learn to embalm. You will need at least 2-3 helpers since you need to have your business available 24/7. Again you may be able to fill some of those needs with trade services from other funeral homes.
Having some stock caskets, urns, photos, ect are also good to help you give clients an idea what to purchase.

500k isn't a bad estimate though I'm sure you could spend a lot more depending on your needs.

>>2421298
are there laws about how nice your crematorium and stuff need to be, like could OP make a discount funeral home

Why not a graveyard? Seems cheaper and easier.

>>2421357
AFAIK those vary by state and local laws.
Usually the local laws are concerned with hours of operation and the amount of pollution released, especially in a town or city.
State laws regulate things like the temperature that needs to be used and the amount of time to achieve a complete cremation. I know my state inspects our crematorium every few years.
>>2421397
Graveyards take up a lot of land and are pretty hard to get started. Again, a lot of that comes down to permits and such. Also, people tend to want to be buried in a place that with their families or that is familiar to them for years.

Honestly I'm not as familiar with that side of the business though. Despite what people think the graveyard business is run completely seperatly from the funeral business. We usually only deal with them for scheduling so they have a grave prepared on the correct date and time.

>>2421298
What a fuckin weird coincidence you would be online to see this thread. There cant be a lot of people familiar with the business of funeral homes. Although, i guess if there were a funeral home businessman, he would likely browse 4chan.

>>2421528
I'm on call right now and I have little else to do all night unless someone dies.
I browse /biz/ because I mine and trade crypto in my spare time.

>>2421565
Lol, this is why I love 4chan.
How'd you get into the business? It sounds pretty laid back, almost like you barely have any work most of the time. Unless you're in a big city with high volume. Is this a line of work you're going to stay in for awhile?

>>2421621
Weird story, but my last job was as a pizza delivery driver. One of my regular customers one day asked me out of the blue if I had a clean drivers license and if I was looking for another job. Two weeks later I'm dressing in a suit and doing my first body removal.
I've been working as a removal guy/hearse driver/general gofer for a little over 2 years now. The hours can suck but the pay is good. I'm planning on entering mortuary school in the fall if everything goes to plan.

>>2421298
>>2421462
Is it possible to shadow someone for a week or so to see how i respond to such a business? I had been thinking of getting into "the dead" for a while now.

>>2419450
why not do something that scales that requires little overhead
if you do something like that, you will have just created a new job for yourself that you're stuck with

You could make extra money by opening a used denture and eyeglass store next to your funeral home.

>>2421998
While your at it, may as well render the fat into soap and candles too :D

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>>2421298
>60-80 thousand for a hearse

>>2421938
The funeral business is VERY clannish. Even in my city of about 1 million people everyone pretty much knows everyone else in the business. Part of it is because many homes have been part of family businesses for generations. Reputation is everything in this business and people are very sensitive to any misstep.
That being said, it's just like any other business in the end. Check classifieds or craigslist for openings. If you want to be proactive you can visit some local funeral homes and ask if they are hiring for any positions. I'd recommend looking for the biggest funeral home in the area since they are most likely to need employees. The small guys tend to employ friends and family first. Funeral homes are VERY big on privacy so you will not be likely to get a tour or anything until you are hired.
Other than that I'm not sure what to tell you. I fell into my position through luck. If you are sure you want to do this then mortuary school is the first logical step. Learn to embalm and you can find a job almost anywhere.

Considering what I had to pay for a funeral, either the upkeep costs are HIGH or the funeral home directors are VERY rich.
Most likely a combination of both.

>>2422041
We bought a new Cadillac hearse last year for 82k.

>>2422089
Yes to both. Funerals cost a lot but upkeep is pretty insane. Remember that funeral homes are a 24/7 business. You have to have someone available at all times to pick up bodies and answer questions from customers. The physical location is usually a pretty big place so electrical bills are high. Gas bills are no joke if you run a crematory. Paying employees, insurance, ect all add up.
That being said funeral directors are not poor. The guys who work for the funeral home are making 50-60k a year. I don't know what the owners make but I wouldn't be surprised if they were making 100k+ per year. My boss lives in a million dollar house in a very nice neighborhood and his kids all have cars newer than mine.

>>2419450
You actually believe millennials are going to be paying for their parents' funerals?

>>2422274
You'd be surprised what people will pay when they are in mourning. When mommy or daddy just died people come up with the money, even if it's just for a cremation. Don't underestimate human grief, it can cause people to do crazy things.
Also, pre-paid funerals are a huge thing. People take out a life insurance policy and pay for their own funeral in advance. Boomers are doing this in droves because they know their kids don't have the money to take care of them when they are gone. Also it gives them the ability to decide what's going to happen after they are gone.

>>2422331
Around here when someone in the community dies and the family can't afford a funeral, close family and friends will help out as well. People always find the money. I told my family not to bother and to just chuck me in a pit somewhere or burn me, or bury me in the woods. But you know they will anyway >.>

>>2422390
If someone absolutely cannot afford a funeral the government will take care of the cost for a cremation. Happens with unclaimed bodies and the very poor all the time.

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>>2422486
Interesting reading, funeral business anon. You must have made an impression on your pizza delivery.

At least it's recession proof

>>2422331
You say that as if you have a choice.
I don't know if policies are different in the rest of America or something but as far as it was for me, you can't get a death certificate until you pay for the funeral.
You need a death certificate for pretty much any business that you have to take care of, and the only way to get it is by going through the funeral home. It's not even a matter of human grief, it's that they hold that vital piece hostage from you and everything has to be done relatively timely too.
Why the hospital where the death was actually confirmed can't just give it to you like in a normal country, I have no clue. Well it's actually obvious why.

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>>2422235
>Get a CPA and make $100k a year
>Be around dead people 24/7 365 and have to maintain a business and have a shit ton of overhead and shit
>Still make $100k a year

Hmm.

>>2422811
Up there with medicine, waste management, sex, and utilities

>>2422933
From what I know the policies on death certificates are decided on the state level. But you are correct, the death certificate is required for almost everything dealing with a persons post mortum business like closing bank accounts and dealing with property. It's a vital piece of legal documentation. In my state the certificate is issued on death but is not valid without a physician's signature. Normally we take care of that for the family so I am not aware what the process is for a death that does not involve a funeral home.
>>2422979
Like I said, I don't know what my boss makes, but he's definitely hurting. 100k+ is my conservative estimate for owning and running a funeral home. All I know for sure is that he makes enough to run the business and pay himself quite comfortably. The 24/7 stuff is handled by employees like me.

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>>2423059
Regardless, I don't think any dollar amount is worth being death and malaise all the time but you do you, I'll do me. God bless.

>>2421298
I'm doing my mortuary school this august. Here in Canada, you learn how to embalm and how to be a funeral director in the same program. It takes 3 years.

>>2423107
It becomes pretty normal after a while. I have seen thousands of corpses, it's just another body when all is said and done. The part that we take pride in (or at least I do) is dealing with the living. Families and friends are the ones who need comfort and help. Dealing with the dead is pretty easy compared to trying to comfort a grieving widow or son.

>>2423123
Good luck! Here you can do either or both separately. The funeral director part is really the lucrative position, but embalming is a much needed skill. Some folks don't have the temperament to deal with the public and decide to go for just embalming, and some dislike the messy side and stay away from embalming.
I can't speak for Canada, but here it's got a ton of job security and the pay is quite good.

>>2423201
Thanks! And yeah same thing for Canada, lots of job with a good pay. Not a lot of people wants to do that. In my province, there's about 8 million people and there's only one school who's giving this program.

>>2423283
It's very unpopular as a line of work. I am trusted enough that my boss asks for my opinion on new hires and I take all of the new people out on removals and teach the the ropes for that part of the business. It's amazing how many people quit after one day. Tough guys who have been in the military, nursing students, all kinds of people who think they can handle it give up after being exposed to the reality of the business.

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>>2423150
I still think there's a morbid detachment to it all. A lack of regard for human suffering. Maybe I'm just a cynic. No offense.

>>2423336
No offense taken. I just see it as a service that needs to be performed. Human remains have to be taken care of somehow and that is why we exist. I try to take care of the dead with as much respect as possible. That beings said, human suffering doesn't apply to the dead. The important thing is taking care of the living and helping them deal with their loss.