4Chan Fund

Oh you only have 100k eth? How did you even get through security?

>borrows money from a bank
>lends money to another bank
>don't pay denbts

oops~

>>2062505
marcus im gonna need a quick rundown on the bogdanov case also a double mocha choc latte half spresso and cinnamon bun because janice is a filthy whore

>>2062505
Numbers were way down in the selling divisions so we're gonna keep stuffing the channel to keep projections up. Lots of whiners saying we sent used goods when we promised new or never sent their goods at all but we just close those eBay and PayPal accounts and open new ones. Most investors don't care about brick and mortar we should probably divest to add another Mexican bean coin

You made 120% on one trade...those are rookie numbers

>>2062505
SECRATARY CRASH MY MERCEDES INTO MY BEEMER; I WANT THOSE FILES PRONTO. SHORT THE ETH WITH THE BTC. REPLACE FLASH WITH ACROBAT ETC

>>2062505
I have all the characteristics of a human being: blood, flesh, skin, hair; but not a single, clear, identifiable emotion, except for greed and disgust. Something horrible is happening inside of me and I don't know why. My nightly bloodlust has overflown into my days. I feel lethal, on the verge of frenzy. I think my mask of sanity is about to slip.

*takes bump of coke*
its under control.. its all under controll
*screams*

Power pointationcery

>>2062513

This would be what happens if 4chan ran a hedgefund desu senpai

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>>2062653
quality

Could somebody call the I.T. guy? Google Ultron crashed on me again.

I want you to short my pepe derivatives and start buying up smug anime girls. I also want the report on the trap markets by noon.

Oh and give the printers a ring to see if my business cards are ready. i really want to check'em out

>>2062651
(You)

>>2062505
I'm considering investing 80% of our equity into PEPECASH.

>>2062985
Shorting pepes? Are you out of your mind!? This institution depends on providing liquidity for rare pepes! I'm setting up a meeting at 1pm with Mr. Gold to discuss our pepe hedging strategy.

>>2062981
He's busy running up Stacy's ear. When will he realize we've been running train on her for the past 7 months?

He kept mumbling something about how he's been fixing something new for her everyday, poor guy doesnt even realize.

>>2062505
*looks banker in the eye* listen *puff out smoke from cigar while removing feet from fake oak desk* listen its really important *snorts a bump of coke off own dick* -ah thats better- its really important that we get this next boost to our capital *fucks secretary on desk without a condom* we hear-ahhh *shoots load half-inside secretary and across banker's face* I have it on good information from our resident je- i mean informants that *slides thick roll of $100 bills up ass* that shoes with lights in them are making a comeback, we just dumped all we have into it *shits out of skyscraper window and wipes ass on window frame* don't you want to go to the moon with us?

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>>2063069
Accurate

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>>2062653
top kek

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>>2062505
ITS HAPPENING! ITS HAPPENING LIKE I SAID FOREVER! I WAS RIGHT! WE ARE GOING TO THE FUCKING MOON! LAMBOS FOR EVERYBODY!

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>>2063222
HOW THE FUCK COULD YOU DO THIS TO ME! I CANT BELIEVE I TRUSTED YOU ON THIS! THIS IS YOUR FAULT! I PUT MY LIFE SAVINGS IN AND YOURS TOO REEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE

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>Secretary I want a hand job
>sir I am not a whore
>where are my popoyes chicken tendies, secretary?
>Sir those KFC chicken nuggets are as good as popoyes
>why the fuck this computer doesn't have Google ultron?
>sir we just installed Adobe reader
>Secretary we must short Europe!
>SIR WE CAN'T SHO...
>SILENCE, AND THAN WE WILL SHORT USA
>Sir calm down
>SHUT UP STACY, YOU COCK WORSHIPING WHORE
>REEEEEEEEEEEEEER

T. LITHUANIAN FUTURE TELLER

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>>2063069
The truth has been said

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Now we were pumping btc and eth, but was all this legal,
Well you know the rest

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>>2063069
you need to stop watching movies