Need to disappear 70k

>>1754520
https://www.irs.gov/uac/whistleblower-informant-award
Proceed to collect 21k for next to zero work.

The real reason would be the best one.

>>1754520
>Im sort of a problem solver for people
Your brother is a drug addict Mr. Clayton

Where did it go?

>>1754528
I will lose my job

>>1754520
gambling.
play poker with him win all his money give receipt!

>>1754529
>>1754540
His wife cant know he mis-spent it all...

>>1754569
He doesnt actually have the money and he doesnt gamble. Like I said, it has to look as if its not his fault he lost it all

>>1754520
not possible. women are detectives when it comes to catching their man lying. she will find out and the whole thing will come crashing down no matter how foolproof you think your plan is. and if LE gets involved, then they will certainly discover the truth.

>>1754520
im curious, how did he blow 70k? and how did he earn it? savings?

>>1754576
he doesn't have to have the money so that you can give him a receipt anon. you don't even have to play cards for real.

>>1754520
>https://www.irs.gov/uac/whistleblower-informant-award

without context it's hard to come up with a narrative

how much money does he still have? where was the money beforehand? who is he hiding the loss from? where did the money come from?

>>1754520
Say he bought bitcoin and the exchange was hacked and it was all stolen/lost.

>>1754857
say he bought shrekcoin and got pumped and dumped like a little pussy bitch boi

>>1754568
You'll lose your job if your boss gets slammed for laundering or w/e anyway, and if you help him, you'll get RICO'd too.

Just do the right thing and look for a new job.

He lost it because he sold everything and shorted the market using a 3x leveraged inverse etf after Trump won.

>>1754592
But still gambling would be his fault

>>1754578
I know sir, women are top detectives but that goes beyond my job... if my plan is right and she finds out later, well, not my problem

>>1754568
If your job description involves committing easily detectable financial crimes you should quit. No really. At best your company will use you as the fall guy when things go tits up and you will merely go to jail, much less ever get a job that involves any amount of trust again.

Quit, rat out your employer to the proper authorities, and then put it on your resume. Plenty of good companies will pay good money for people who they can trust to not get them in trouble with the law.

>>1754934
I love this job... giving people second chances is my passion

>>1754857
Thanks for the idea... what would you do with 70k worth in bitcoin?

>>1754914
Good idea, what would you do with 70k worth of bitcoin?

>>1755067
Hehe good one but no

>>1755178
Its not a crime, it was misspent money, now I need to make it seem to his wife as if he had to lose it or he was scammed, one example is a simple telephone extortion, in which no real bank accounts are involved, he can just pretend to make a transaction and that would be it... the complicated part is the amount of money and my job is to come up with a plan

if you dont fucking tell us the problem than how in the hell do you expect us to help? That's like ordering a fucking pizza without giving an adress. If you're that much of a fucking pussy that you can't spill the beans on an ANONYMOUS image board, then you shouldn't be here to begin with

You fucking pussy. What are the chances of one of us knowing exactly who you are from you telling us the case? Not even the case, just how anon lost it? I hope you lose your job you scary bitch.

>>1754609
Money comes from savings. He doesnt even have 10% now. Hes hiding the loss from his wife. Money was in a savings account. He misspent it all

>>1755181
Blow it on blow

>>1755188
Sorry mr Pizza guy. Here it goes again.

My client misspent 70k USD from his savings account. I need to come up with a plan so his wife doesnt know it was his fault. Its nothing illegal, i just need to know how you guys would do it, what would you do and then I can tell you why it would work and why it wouldnt.

>>1755199
>My client misspent 70k USD from his savings account. I need to come up with a plan so his wife doesnt know it was his fault. Its nothing illegal, i just need to know how you guys would do it, what would you do and then I can tell you why it would work and why it wouldnt.

Isnt there a roleplay board some where around here

>>1755181
pay a ransom because the company got hit with the latest cryptolocker

>>1755199

Can you tell us what he spent the 70k on?

>>1755199
>misspent
No, he spent it deliberately and on what he intended to, he just spent it on something that will fuck up his marriage.

Or was it really his wife's money and not his?

>>1754520
what does he usually invest in, and how much money does he make per year?

Tell his wife that you're a stock broker for her husband and that the investments YOU made took a shit but that he still owns the stock and will just ride it out and go back up eventually.

Tell his wife that your client pre-ordered a new tesla roadster and can expect it in 5-10 years.

Tell his wife that your client invested in your tech? start up and are expecting a return in 5-10 years.

>>1755199
Why not just come clean to the wife?

What's the worse she can do? Divorce him for 50% of what is next to nothing anymore?

Lmao. It would honestly be a safer bet for her to just stick with him.

> nigerian princess stolded it alls

/thread

>>1754520
Stock market investments that had gone sour.

Make some made up graphs how it looked like it was stable and promising. Photoshop in some fake Corporation like Conglom-O Enterprise Solutions. Have him explain to his wife that the investments were sound and would have made far more money. Risks were worth it. print a 50 page report with the first 10 pages looking like real boring business talk, women can't think so if you talk business or science they go into autopilot and it deescalates the situation. Scan the rest with your scanned dick so if it fails and she looks through it she fellates ur D after he leaves him.

Bonus points for making it an animated flip book.

>>1754578
Women are not better detectives, just better liars and thus can beat you at their own game.

That's why you come up with an itinerary, you build that project and you believe it with 100% of your soul. You back it up with evidence and every counter point to "Well the neighbors said...."

The thing is what you married people don't realize is you all become so predicable and comfortable. Anything that isn't a "how is your day dear, is a huge red flag to them."

Or you know, you could not lie to your wife if she was actually cool.

>>1755464
>>1755484
>>1755486
Finally, thanks for serious answers. The investments-gone-wrong is my best bet.

Thinking about renting an office for a month, set it up with fake office shit and fake compqny logos, call my "investor" for some bad news and say his surprise investment he made 2 years ago for his wife went totally bad because of Trump winning.

I knew /biz wouldn't let me down. I'm very much grateful. I promise I will post the real story when this all happens

>>1755973
>Finally, thanks for serious answers.
really stock market investing is a different answer for you from this?: >>1754569

really...investing in individual stocks is a form of gambling especially on margin. it might look better to some than going to the casino but it isn't.

You're fucked. There is no possible outcome that you will escape from this situation without a major loss to you.

>>1754520

Sink it into a business. Duh.

> These bright young college geniuses full of life and energy came to me with their bright idea
> So I invested in their startup
> It failed
There you go anon.

>>1754520
>Fraud? Extortion? Self-kidnapping?
sounds like you are already planning on the first one, I am not sure how you'd get to the second one without leverage or money and the third one is retarded.

Buy some expensive shit, let it get "lost" or "stolen", dig it out of the ground a couple of months later and sell it. Here is some expensive shit you can buy, you can claim it was an investment or something.

http://www.apmex.com/category/19490/1-kilo-gold-bars-rounds

>>1754568
are you a lawyer? because you sound like a lawyer with the immaturity of a millenial

>>1754576
how do you expect any decent advice if you dont give a single detail. is the money cash? equity? company profits? did it disappear overnight? over years? was it stolen from work? a drug gang?

>>1754914
kek

>>1757507
>Making a bad investment isn't your fault

Classic /biz/ logic.

>>1755199
>I invested in ETH some anons were shilling it on 4chan, it went down, sorry honey we lost 70k. I'll lick your pussy till the end of time.

Here anon, you now owe me 5k.

>>1757979
/thread

>>1755973
>Thinking about renting an office for a month, set it up with fake office shit and fake compqny logos, call my "investor" for some bad news and say his surprise investment he made 2 years ago for his wife went totally bad because of Trump winning

>>>set up fake office > phone them .. what

>>1755181
>bought 70k of bitcoin as an investment
>mistyped his address when he went to sell
>some randon cuck got 70k USD in bitcoin
There you go.

File: 12604744_1078491638870355_6021386022659471805_o.jpg (78KB, 1080x788px) Image search: [Google]

78KB, 1080x788px

>>1755973

You can't be serious, this plan is retarded.

FYI just say that a company he invested in was sued and lost the money dramatically. Think of something along the lines of international shipping, since international trade laws are complicated and mention that the lawyer from whichever country you decide has filed for bankruptcy protection.

>>1755973

>just blame it on Trump

This is going to be The Thing for the next 4 years isn't?