Got a black eye, how do I profit from this

>>1695461
>purchase life insurance
>kill yourself

Looks more like a mustard incident - you can't gain squat.

>>1695461
file a police report, identify the person who assaulted you, convince a optometrist that your injury has greatly affected your vision and you've been having really bad headaches since the incident, take it to court, sue for a hefty sum

>>1695461
>open dojo
>offer discount for former Cobra Kai dojo members
>train for All Valley Karate Championship
>crane kick, win
>full price membership
>profit
>crack rock inside bonsai trees, sold in the back, known customers only

>>1695461
Your eyes are literally black, too.

kys, improve the gene pool.

>>1695461

Fuck off poojet

>>1695461
If you are a girl, just post a video on Yourube and act as dumb as possible by claiming "my boyfriend hits me because he loves me" and keep rambling about how physical voilence is true love or some shit like that. Stupidity and sex attract a lot of attention.

>>1695461
>put a latex cover over it to look like nothing happened
>"fall" in public places like a wallmart
>pull off latex stealthily while on ground
>Call over manager and threaten to sue