Need 5,000 within a week

Sell like crazy you madman. You're already in a defeated mindset. Take a moment to breathe and then come up with a real plan that isn't begging online to thai basket weavers

>>1654894

send me a link? I order stuff for our office and might be able to help you out

How about giving 500 blowjobs at $10 a pop? This would mean sucking around 72 dicks per day (10 more if you want a day off). That's just over 4 loads in your mouth per hour assuming you want 8 hours of good sleep.

So here's the game plan: figure if you get a solid set of knee pads, you can probably suck down around 5 cum shots per hour even if you're not good at it. At that rate, you're netting an extra $8 per day of work. At the end of that first week, you take your extra money and reinvest into your company; buy some lipstick, maybe some blush or high heels.

Now with your newfound skills and efficiency, you should be able to clear at least 8 or 9 cumshots per hour which would bump up your profit margin by over 75%.

After the first few months you can either scale back the amount of cocks you suck or really ramp it up and maybe retire early.

>>1654953
Artecoffee.com, please help me out man. Like please.

>>1654983
This.

>>1654894
OP has a lifetime supply of coffee

also

>trying to sell coffee on 4chan

Fast money with low risk is a myth.

Getting a loan is probably the best advice

>>1654984

How are you getting these coffees? Private labeling? Do you just have a shit ton of coffee in your garage?

>>1654984
>Click "Shop Now"
>Page refreshes

>Hover on FLAVORED COFFEE
>Clothes and shoes ads appear

>Currency
>No Euro

The images are also pretty bad.

I'd never buy anything off this website OP, it just screams scam or ,at best, a shit product.

>>1655150
Fuck you dude. Just buy a pack I need cash as fast as possible. No website is perfect

>>1655127
Yeah cause instead of fucking 5000 i have to pay. I want tp pay 8000. Dude shut up

a loan op. it's the only choice realistically.

out of curiosity, how much do you pull on an average month?

>>1654984
You have a nice website right there

>>1655157
No need to be salty, just get the loan so you don't lose your damn house and then try to restructure the debt/declare bankruptcy

Face that you failed your business and try again later, maybe become a barrista or some shit. From the looks of things this seems like a first attempt, and nobody gets things right the first time

>>1655157
Put some work into your website and people might actually buy something (well not me, flavoured coffee seems pretty disgusting)
check this out:
www.coffeecircle.com/shop/kaffee/

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>>1654894

I'm going to throw it all away.

Merry Christmas faggot.

>>1654983
The only answer
How are you still reading this thread if you're following this advice

>>1655386
That was nice. Pls gibs money too

>>1654894
Dude, I am in the exact same position.

I'm throwing my shop on Flippa tomorrow, have you considered doing so?

>>1655157
Kek never mind just read this OP KYS.

>>1655157
Fuck you.

1. Your website took literally a minute to load on my phone
2. You need to grammar check your product descriptions

>>1654894

Fastest way legally? Borrow. Give yourself more runway, then change your plan.

>but muh interest

Coming from a complete lack mindset. You need to borrow, you will pay for it, suck it up and decide right now that you will do whatever it takes to make this business work from here out. Do tastings, promo, partner with a local cafe for a weekend, whatever. To me it seems like something people need to try for themselves, so promote that shit irl!

Besides, you make this shit work and you make so much money you won't give a fuck about interest. In the meantime manage / lower your personal expenses where possible, learn where every dollar goes so you can work out exactly how much runway you have.

>>1654898
>maylasian chimney sweep
Ftfy

>>1655150

It's actually a pretty good site. Not many perfect sites out there.

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>>1655386
the absolue fucking madlad

>legally

theres your problem

>>1655386

is this troll or did you actually order that much?

OP confirm?

>>1656032
r u fucking retarded you fucking fuck

>>1654894
honest to god, kill somebody. Go on the dark web or some shit. Kidnap a girl and sell her. Shit like that.

>>1656368
>honest to god, commit the ultimate sin

>>1655093
HAHAHAHAHAHHAAHAHAHHAHAHAH

WOW U R SO FUNNY U MUST BE IRRESISTIBLE TO GIRLS KEK

>>1655737
Your Internet is shit. How does it feel to be so poor and worthless that you can't even afford good Internet? Took 2 secs here.

You should provide samples to bank branches. Whenever you go out wear cool hip apron with coffee ground stains/ coffeee smell. People will be curious and you can say you make hipster tasty coffee. There ya go! Serious about samples to bank branches and even legal offices, you will either get mass orders or a few orders from the fat lady's. I would even buy some for my family members as Christmas gifts but I'm going to Europe for vacation so they can fuck them selves. Oh wait.. slap a red now and now you have Christmas time hipster tasty coffee.

>>1655157
just be yourself man

You know what the funny thing about all of this is?

When O.P was starting his business, he probably had so many delusions of grandeur about how he was going to make millions selling coffee through his 2008-hipster-selling-necklaces tier website. "It's so easy to make money and get rich" he smugly thought to himself. "Anyone who is poor just needs to stop being a dumbfuck lazy shit and start a business like I am".

Although, unfortunately, as REALITY would have it, after his ego crushing failure at playing the capiltalism game, he finds himself BEGGING FOR HANDOUTS on a tibetian throat-singing board from the same people he once thought he was above.

>>1656622
heheh
we all get to play that game in life
a story so old it's immortalized in the bible
proverbs 16:18

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>>1654894
You're truly and honestly fucked. Do the honorable thing, Anon, and lie down at the nearest active railroad tracks. It'll all be over soon.

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>>1654984
>Our Store
>Picture of an Apple store

Oh jeez just kill yourself OP.

>>1656756
And if you look at the map all of those stores are Home Depots

go rob a few liquor stores at neighbouring cities, should be quite easy cash, if you have the balls to do it.
If you get lucky, you get your cash, if not, then you've got 5-7 years of prison which will take your mind off the 5 grand and losing your house.

Making money on the internet = pure luck

There's no reason OP's website is not making money other than not being lucky. There are shit websites that get more traffic, or people that get famous and then sell shit.

>>1656637
Not true.

I passed out on tracks for like 16 hours..

>>1656622
red pill

be born rich or kys law

>>1656622
ah reality...that notorious ego crusher!

Fuck sake have a look at all the fucking keyboard warrior know it all cunts in here. Always negative and think you know everything.

At least the guys having a crack. Please, tell me more about your successful online biz?

>>1656622
right better to kys than to try

jolly meme'd lad

>>1656439
>>1656444
>You must be 18 years of age or older to post on 4Chan.

>>1656622
I'm guessing you tried to start a business, thought your were going to make millions, probably didn't even break even or a single sale.

As a person who was born poor, I now have a successful business which I make $1,000 a month (still bet it's more than you or OP) and my business is growing every day. It is possible, I am a 21 years old, don't have a stratospheric IQ or rich parents, but I have a meaning in my life I am working towards.

>>1656047
I dunno, could be one of our resident millionaires and business owners.

.../biz/ does have SOME genuinely successful posters? R-right?

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>>1654894

Why are you only marketing to white people?

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>>1657392
>his stock photos aren't even racially ambiguous

Real talk op, rebrand yourself as an alt-right coffee specialist.

Put random pepes and Trump memes instead of stock photos and post yourself on /pol/ and r/the_donald. Make a banner that says all profits will go towards "uncovering the truth about Pizzagate", then make millions.

This is literally easy money, those toothless retards will buy into anything. I think that Hugh Mungo who got yelled at by a a femimist got over hundred thousand. Trump himself made hundreds of millions from donations. You just gotta believe.

Why don't you sell unflavored you cuck

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>>1657388
>/biz/ does have SOME genuinely successful posters? R-right?

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>>1657461
>>1657461
"ahhhh those toothless retards lining my pockets ALL DAMN DAY!"

-alex jones

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Btw how's your mom

>>1655177
This business gives me about 200 monthly give and take handling my suppliers it takes more with the rebranding.

>>1654894
Learn to live within your means rather than renting show-off pads that you can't really afford yet.

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>>1657388
>/biz/ does have SOME genuinely successful posters? R-right?

>>1656918
this is what failures actually beleive...

>>1657648
> $5 shipping for 250kg of product

Fucking bargain right there!

Start putting crack in your coffee. Then give out free samples to people, guarantee they'll be back.

>>1655157
This is a fucking scam

>>1657392
alt right coffee confirmed

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Really?
How about finishing your page before going online?

>>1655386
>www.coffeecircle.com/shop/kaffee/
what is this? Nazi Coffee? Brb getting the domain NaziCoffee.com. Gonna go final solution on your business.

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>>1659592
Kek, yes it's a german coffee page where i get mine from. Would try NaziCoffee tho.

>>1655150
>Artecoffee.com
>about us
>'Lorem ipsum.....'s everywhere

come on

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>>1654983
this is your only solution op

>>1654894
Merchant services advance

>>1656444
Fuck off, anyone who makes a online shop need to consider their customers

>>1656415
The ultimate sin is worshipping someone other than God.

>>1654984

i was going to order a bag of coffee for my gf from xmas. figured i'd help you out instead after seeing this post.

but man your flavors are so fucking whack. why all the tacky roasts? no normal ones?

>>1654984
Condition: New product
>I should hope so. Who wants used coffee?

>>1654983
excuse me sir, you are implying OP could take a load per 12 minutures on average. OP has not sucked enough dicks to achieve that rate.

>>1655157

Hope you go bankrupt and end killing yourself, looser.

>>1660170
Fans of civet coffee?

>>1657336

Sure buddy. And I'm Bill Gates.

>>1656622

I kek'd

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>>1657388
>/biz/ does have SOME genuinely successful posters? R-right?

>>1654983
u rly think OP can achieve the clientele required?