Help me not get fired

>>1633210
try r9k

Maybe go back in time and don't be late to work again, Tyrone.

>>1633210
How hard is it to just not fucking be late to work?

>>1633210
surprise oral boss
don't take no for an answer use force if necessary

>>1633219

The times I'm really late it's because I drink too much

>>1633210

You deserve it. How the fuck are you 2.5 hours late to work?

>>1633222
Sounds like you need to solve your alcoholism before you worry about your job

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>Trump supporter
>No grasp of reality
Not surprised.

>>1633229

I start at 9am, I was up until 4am drinking multiple cans of beer and some vodka. Slept through both alarms.

>>1633210
>Arrive +/- 1 hour for the last 10 years
>So good at my job bosses don't care

>>1633235
If your drinking is interfering with your life to the point you get fired from your job because of it you're an alcoholic

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>>1633235
why do you think you drank that much on a work night?

>>1633238
>>1633237

I don't know it's just there so I drink it, I've been drunk on shift a few times and managed to hide it pretty well.

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>>1633239
No, everyone knows. they can smell it and they say nothing. You're weak and stupid.

>>1633239
Sorry anon, like I said take care of your alcohol problem first before looking for another job or the same thing is gonna keep happening, if you can hide it long enough to get hired elsewhere

>>1633241
I work alone though

>>1633242
Don't know how I'm going to get another job with no positive reference

>>1633210
depends on the state.

in some places alcoholism is considered a disability and it's illegal to fire someone for having a disability.

ask a lawyer I guess.

it only works if your boss knows you're late because alcoholism though. Otherwise they're not firing you for your "disability," they're just firing you for being late all the fucking time.

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>>1633250
instead of alcohol start drinking your boss's cum

>>1633210
No, you deserve to be fired.

Get your shit together and stop being a burden. No one owes you a job.

>>1633250

What do you do anon?

My boss is going to phone me in an hour, how do I play this?

>>1633609
Seriously? Grow a pair and start being responsible. Holy shit this is the most obvious thread in this whole forum. Get a grip

>>1633210
Let me tell you a story of my coworker. Lets call him D.

D worked the night shift. He would always show up a half hour late or a hour late. Pissed everyone off that he pulls this shit and the bosses never do shit about it for some reason or another. We called D the boss's bastard child or the boss's golden kid. Nobody likes working with him because he always pull this bullshit and doesn't get punished for it.

Until one day when he was 3 hours late and still didn't show up. It was 3am in the morning and I wanted to go home and sleep.

I started emailing everyone. "Where the F is D?" Then I called and left voice mail to everyone's answering machines. Kept calling my boss until the ringing woke him up and he couldn't take it anymore.

I didn't give a fuck at that point. Was on my 10th cup of coffee and I needed my sleep. Eventually my boss called me back. Apologized to me. D eventually showed up on the 4th hour but fuck that asshole.

The next day, D was suspended for a entire week with no pay. Then suddenly I was the office's champion. They all had to put up with D's bullshit and now he's finally punished for it. D lost his boss's golden boy status.

They didn't fire him, and D holds a grudge against me for that. Still does today. He would purposely try to fuck me over on minor shit but it never really works out for him because he's a fucking idiot.

And I hope you get fired OP. Nobody likes having to stay 2.5 hours late waiting for some faggot who decided to not show up today.

>>1633633
literally complaining because u have work

>>1633638
Anon. I was complaining because co-worker is LATE all the fucking time. And that usually means someone else's schedule is fucked over because they have to stay later to wait for the late faggot.

If you have plans for the next hour but can't leave because someone decides to come in 2-3 hours later... you'd hate that asshole as well.

>>1633219
it's impossible for me
i'm late very fucking day.

>>1633658
*every

>>1633222
Just tell your boss that, I'm sure he'll understand.

Nervous about this phonecall, just cracked open a beer to calm myself down.

>>1633666
yes that is obviously the right move not influenced by under worldly powers at all

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>>1633210
You're fired

>>1633210
>How can I keep my job?
Try not being such a lazy, drug abusing, piece of shit.

Just got a phonecall from my boss, my job isn't even in question, he told me how essential I am to the business and how they need me to come in on time from now on. AHAHAHAHAHA

>>1633799

wtf. what's your job, which country are you in

>Started coming to work 5 mins later every few months.
>Up to 30 mins late after a year.
>Send an email warning I'll be in late every time
>No complains from boss
>Few years later they show me stacks of the printed out emails i sent - they kept records of them.
>The office manager who did this was fired before i quit

>>1633799
Stop your drinking bro. You clearly have an alcohol problem.

You obviously can't be a total retard if your boss wants to keep you, so why don't you sober up and then use that skill to move up in the world.

>>1633638

Have you ever worked a day in your life anon? At some point you will and figure out late when your shift is over, you dont care how much you get paid, you just want to go home

>>1633236
you're such a good little worker bee.

>>1633250
there's always starbucks. Leave me some room for milk.

>>1633805
>>1633845

I'm drinking now and start work in 6 hours, I'm the only one technically skilled enough to do my job. They can't even find someone good enough to work under me and they've been recruiting for 6 months.

>>1633909
That's fine, eventually you'll do something even more retarded like kill yourself drinking and driving anyway

>>1633909
way to go bro. trust fund babies and neets of biz don't understand what real work is.

I have work in 2 hours and I just killed a 375 of vodka. i'm about to take a quick nap and roll into work about an hour late.

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>>1633799
alcoholic here, i am in the same position as you

keep on enraging the normies, take your boss out for dinner to ensure you never get fired no matter what

>>1633899
>Have to work turkey day
>Holiday pay is 80/hr
>Can work remotely from home
>90% is already being run by scripts (unbeknownst to my bosses)
>All i have to do is a 5 min check every 2-3 hours
>5 of 8 hours of 'work' is playing with meme stocks on /rgt/ threads

Best damn worker bee in the fucking world!

>>1633219
This.

Let's say you're 10 minutes late because of traffic. What you do the next time is leave 10 minutes earlier.
No excuses. Hope OP gets fired.

>>1633658
If it's "impossible" for you to show up to work on time, then it's impossible that you won't be a loser for the rest of your life.

I got fired yesterday and already have 3 very interested higher paying prospects fuck I love being Chad

>>1633210
You deserve to get fired

>>1633799
Fake as fuck. Sage

>>1634030
nah i'm fine if they get prissy about my showing up late but work late i will just tell them to fugg off.

>>1634202
also it's actually worth it to be late from work.
you see everyone know i can't get up early, and so i get in late but work off my 8 hours, however the law state that after 18 they have to pay overtime, so when i go in at 11 and work till 19:30 (because of lunch break) i get 1:30 overtime paid by law even tho i work the same hours as the cuck that goes in on time. then i arrange my workday that i can't possible accomplish everything i have to do especially deadline critical stuff, dick around on 4chan or simply go awol and chill some place, so when there is something that must be done by monday and the week is over i have to do more overtime, even weekends. that's a hell of a lot more money than the cucks get for the same workhours that are disciplined about their workday.

I am late every single morning but I just happens to like my work and get along with my boss. I perform just as good if not better than my coworkers. Nobody ever complained, in the beginning I sent a text to tell my manager, now they just know, if I am under 1hour late I don't even have to justify myself

OP's boss is a good boss, he doesnt give a shit as long as he gets what he wants done. Plus he is covering his ass by trying to get OP to form his own replacement.

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>>1633799
Idk how authentic this story is OP, but you fucking made my day. Actually in a good mood after this thread.

>>1634002
Enjoy that fantasy life on 4cHan anon, that shit is too good be true

>>1633633

what a shit story

>2.5 hours late

Commit suicide

>>1633210
well, you can show up the day after if he doesnt call you back. he couldve straight fired you. i would show up anyways. he might change his mind if youre early. also its possible that one of your coworkers are talking shit about you.

>>1633609
tell him some srs circumstance that hasnt been used before and something that isnt likely to happen again. if you say you slept thru your alarm dont bother picking up the phone.

>>1634770
different anon but doesn't seem that unrealistic to me, heres my similar greentext

>worked as an admin assistant
>huge cow of a supervisor gives me a lot of data to input on excel manually
>takes about 3 hours to get done
>year went by, I got another position where I do some of the same work + extra under another supervisor
>other supervisor is a nice bloke, aside from the extra work he gives me, he doesn't know much details on the other task I do aside from "Its a lot of work and takes hours"
>anyway during that time I improved a lot on excel and have advanced VBA skills
>make scripts that automate my work and now takes 10 minutes to complete and supervisor thinks I'm a hardworker
>got a raise two months ago for doing less

If you don't know how to make scripts or run macro, start learning. it can seriously improve your work life

>>1633210
ya dun goofed.

>>1636109
THIS
Automation is the greatest thing ever made. Honest to god star trek level shit.