PayPal investments

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So I have a few dozen of grand in my PayPal account.

Would like to know how to invest them.

For a short while you could make PayPal deposits at some brokers and buy ETFs.

Then PayPal decided they don't want to allow brokers.

So right now:
- You cannot buy cryptos;
- You cannot buy ETFs;
- You cannot buy gold.

What the hell can you buy with PayPal except stuff eBay and internet shops?

I'm interested in investments, things that will make me money. Sure I can buy some domain names, but there I have to put a lot of work in to make them profitable. I'm talking about stuff like ETFs, index funds, maybe some other ideas?

And no, I won't withdraw to my bank, because then I have to explain the bank and all the institutions where money came from. Circumventing them is the key.