If you meet a teen yourself on the street, what will you tell him?

buy bitcoins

>>1525852
id rape him^_^

Tell him dont stop with training any sport, it is important to stay fit/healthy

>>1525852
- Stop drinking coke and wash your teeth religiously (just got back from my 5th or 6th root canal.. who counts them anyway)
- Don't drop out of university, that's the easiest shit you'll have to do in your life
- Oh, and yeah, buy Bitcoins

>>1525852
The winning powerball numbers.

>>1525913
Ok, fuck it, this is my answer too! (Eurojackpot, here in Europe)

>>1525852
I'd describe Uber, Facebook, Twitter, YouTube and slap the fuck out him for being such an autist.

"There can only be one."

>Proceed to kill and eat him

>>1525852
>Don't bother with college
>learn how to invest
>Buy some bitcoins when you start to notice them
>work out
>eat right

one day your mum will convince you t get rid of your snes and copy of earthbound you barely play
TELL HER TO FUCK OFF

"Do everything you can possibly do to fuck Jade. She's going to be Playmate of the Year."

>>1526081
Link?

>>1525852
ill tell him to post on r9k

>>1525903
>Don't drop out of university, that's the easiest shit you'll have to do in your life
What major did you drop out?

>>1525852
Finish highschool and do not shy away from social situations.

I've been Friendless and poor for like 8 years and it sucks.

>>1526119
I know the feeling. The best thing I could show my teenage self is my life right now.

>>1525852
Don't start smoking weed, don't start smoking cigarettes, indeed do try to be a bit conformist and be a good boy, it feels good to be a well-adjusted individual contributing to society.

>>1525852
>if I myself meet a teen
>if I meet a teen myself
>myself, if I meet a teen
I don't know, but if I meet you on the street I'm going to tell you to learn some fucking English before you try to type it.

>>1525867
and /thread

Kill urself fag

>>1525852
What's the story behind this guy again

>>1525852
study finance and econ instead of accounting and finance, learn to fucking study so you can work for a big bank. Don't date that bitch your freshman year, instead join a fraternity and fuck bitches and do blow

>>1525852
Id bring him home and fuck him over and over

>>1526085
>>1526085
http://www.nsfwsluts.com/2009/11/18/playboy-playmate-jayde-nicole-naked-on-couch/

Obviously NSFW

Finish your degree
Don't worry about getting a girlfriend
Get a job now and start saving

>>1525852
Honestly? Nothing. It's the low points in my life that have inspired me to aim higher now.

>>1525852
stop obsessing over pussy it's way overrated!

>Be with your parents instead of dumb bitches that won't be with you in a year from now.
>Spend as much time with dad as possible and fully learn his trade.
>Be consistent with lifting
>Stop wasting your time with video games
>Invest all of your money instead of buying dumb shit to impress people that don't care about you.

>>1526452
someone's been watching The Big Short and Wolf of Wall street...

>>1526452
why econ instead of accounting?

>>1525852
Don't ever take dog tranquilizers, kid.

>>1525852
ur fcked

>>1526452
indeed accounting is a meme degree unless ur going for the big four

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>>1525852
>If you meet a teen yourself on the street, what will you tell him?

A few things.

1) Don't play videogames, at all. they'll ruin your life

2) Do better in highschool, easiest time to make friends and have sex ever

3) Don't let yourself be fat, start lifting and doing sports from a young age instead of waiting until your early 20's to play catch up

4) Move out at 18, whatever you do

Bitches ain't shit lil bro. Maximize your businesses now and move out asap.

*hugs* im gonna grow up to be a boss :')

Stay away from TOR and alcohol. And don't spend 50k of your inheritance on wasteful spending

>>1527123
fkn retard if you did that

>>1525852
I would tell myself what stocks to buy so I could become a young rich prodigy.

Any other answer is dumb and a waste of potential.

>buy a computer instead of xbox.
>browse 4chan.
>everything works out
ezpz

>>1525870
kek

just fucking buy btc then dump it into tesla or some shit

>>1525903
Interesting. I worked way harder as student than I do at my current job..

>>1525867
there is no other answer than this. i read about bitcoins 3 times over a few years and then the next time i heard about them they were $30. first time was when they were play money on second life. $10 worth would be tens of millions now.

>>1525852
Fuck your 2nd girlfriend

Go to a doctor.
Get treatment for your adhd.
It'll be the best thing that ever happened to you

>>1527762
this.
>got to know I have ADHD at 20
>since then have excelled and finally put all my hyperconcentration into effect
If I had earlier gotten help I'd have been able to stick with things, lived in four countries, kept starting and quitting hobbies bimonthly, skipping fuckloads of school because It was boring and quit pilot school because I got distracted among other things that shouldve been obvious signs, but my parents didn't believe in ADHD. Oh well, make do with what you can.

Wouldn't tell him anything. Teen me wouldn't listen to some oldfag trying to dispense life advice.

Rape as many women as you want. You are white and will get probation tops. Being a sexual offender isn't bad either. You can still be a truck driver and rape many women on the road. Don't change a thing buddy.

>>1525852
Socialize with the blonde children in your classroom.
Learn Programming since 2008. Make a sandbox survival like Terraria and Minecraft.
Learn to kickstart, indiegogo, gofundme, patreon.
Mine and buy bitcoins since 2009.
Save the animation industry before the end of 2011.
Hire some professionals to kill your uncle and father and make it look like an accident.
Make a thread on /v/ asking what games would they be interested in buying.
Give that unfortunate girl in your classroom 120k to live on her own and finish her studies.
Tell your mother to shut the fuck up.
Give your mother a qt 3.14 six year old girl with straight tens.
Never get married till the age of 34. You're too young before that.

Take over 4chan.

I'd tell him to buy all the MTG Dual Lands he can get and other reserved list cards. Also many books/comics, retrogames and other collectible nerdy stuff that are actually expansive and have a big market behind.

>>1527762
true
I got a prescription for adhd meds when I was 16, thought ADHD was just a thing in my head so I never bother picking them up.

Fast forward to being 20, almost dropping out of uni, losing co-op, and then deciding to getting a script for vyvanse. You can never feel more regret then feeling you wasted the first 20 or so years of your life doing less then your potential.

Keep up the good work, kiddo

>>1525852
keep being a lazy shit an play video games because your 19 year old you has been trying to make money online for the past 12 months and hasn't made shit and is now struggling to accept the fact that he simply isnt smart enough to be an entrepreneur and is probably going to be a wageslave until he kills himself.

aka

just keep doing what you're doing

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The economy is gonna go to shit, so get a fucking job before that happens you lazy shit. I don't even care if you join the military, anything better than what doing nothing for the next 10 years is gonna get you.

Stop buying video games, drop out of highschool and just start working as much as you can.

And put it all on KBIO on Jan 30 2015 and sell Nov 27 when it reaches 38$ PPS and be a millionare.

With my KBIO winnigs, I put it all on TBRA on sept 19 and sell sept 20 2016 when it reaches 38$ and be a BILLIONAIRE.

After that, I buy shares of RGSE and sell when it reaches 150% and be a rich jew billionaire.

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Don't fall for the aerospace engineering meme

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Take more vacations.

>>1525852
Stop spending so much money. Also, start working on a good work ethic and work towards your eagle scout project. You will run out of time if you slack off.

>>1527847

Telling yourself to buy retro games in the past means that you would be buying current and last gen games of that time. Most of those fucking games haven't even come close to the 50-60 price point they had on release and most of them don't even get near the 30 dollar mark they would have been used/older. It's a dumb idea. Lands on the other hand isn't terrible, but still nowhere near the roe that something like a particular stock or bitcoin would grab. It's not like old mtg cards were 10 cents a piece way back when. Most of them were still 10-20 or more.

to quit being such a retarded faggot and shut your mouth around people

"Don't kill those people."

>>1525852
Drop out and start a business instead

>>1525852
>myownclone.jpg

>>1528442
I'd tell him this as well.

>>1525852

Like every autist.
>powerball winning numbers
>invest in bitcoins
>tell when to sell before they drop in price
>Start to C#/C++ programming
>tell him the date of which our grandma dies, and try to save her.
>keep your mom from going to nashville (drug addiction comes back)


I miss my grandma so much ;_;

Don't fall for the accounting meme. Don't buy friends. Don't delete your portfolio. This
>>1529787 too.

>>1525926
as if your lazy ass would do anything

>>1529790
Can I hire your as a pro hitman?

If this is really your best advice /biz/ I am loling. Thanks for the kek

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>>1526611
This. Don't worry about having a gf for social conformity. Focus on yourself, work on just looking better... get on accutane ASAP, floss everday, read a shit load of business and rsd game. Slowly become more handsome and alpha.

That will set you up for a much for fun 20's

Work harder on getting a better grade at uni.

>>1525996
>Learn how to invest

Lmao what?

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>>1530641
that'll def work. yeah

Stop listening to mum. She doesn't know what the fuck she's talking about.

Also, no matter how different a friend might seem from all the others, do not plan to go into business with him, no matter how much he says he will. Look out for you. Embrace loneliness and focus on self-improvement.

FFS don't ever drink Monster. You will piss away hundreds and hundreds of pounds.

>>1525996
>Buy bit coin when you notice them
If you're going to give this shitty advice also tell him to not trust mtgox

>$1.4 million in BTC down the drain because mtgox
>Literally the easiest "stock" to read. Good news up bad news down
>No other affecting factors but silkroad
>Started at $500 in BTC and traded my way there.
>Have to convince myself everyday it was a fun, expensive trading video game currency to not kill myself.

lose weight you fat fuck

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buy shit load of BSM, GXY, BAR and XPE .. cuz graphit lithium and cobalt will define new battery technology, leverage EV and yea pretty much define world next 20+ years and the last one? well .. . internet of things backed up by philips and intel? all of them penny stocks you biatch gotta hit 2aud per share buy millions of it GOOOOOOOOOO

>>1525852
*Go to Uni, get into a good one and study Finance it will make things a lot quicker for you when you study Accounting.
*Get a graduate job after Uni.
*Be more confident in yourself, especially around women.

That's about it really. I'm 29 now, studying to be an accountant but really wish I had gone to uni and done it straight afterwards. My boss is 30 and probably on £50-60k a year at least, with company car and phone, he started in the job straight out of uni. I wasted till around 27 doing shit jobs, not for want of trying mind you, but it gets a lot harder to find entry level stuff after 21. To be honest it could be a lot worse. I'm just glad I found something in the end but I can't help thinking how much further ahead I would be had I have made different choices.

>>1532235
>but it gets a lot harder to find entry level stuff after 21.
I think 22/23 is still okay nowadays. Especially regarding how many people spend a year abroad etc.

>>1525852
"CERU mah nigga."

>>1525923
>implying 100mil euro will even buy you a loaf of bread in a week

>>1526112
Art Philosophy