sell me this pen

But that is a rubber penis with a suction cup.

>>1227531
It's the newest cryptocurrency. To the moon, don't shaft yourself on this one.

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>>1227610
??

>>1227531

The mind wants what the heart desires, do you want to one item to make you look better off than you ever were, buy this pen.

>>1227610
i see a pen. maybe your just subconsciously imagining gay shit? weirdo

>>1227531
Does that shit actually happen? People asking you to make a sales pitch for nothing?

>>1227610
this is a sfw board

>You don't like it?! Sit on it!

>>1227531
Hmm, let's see. Write you name down on this napkin here.

>>1227531
It has the best textured grip of any pen.
Will make you popular with the ladies and even some of the men.
Is also a fantastic modern art piece

>>1227531
b-buy this totally normal pen please. help i really need the money

>>1227531
buy this pen from me or i will use it to kill you.

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>>1227668
>>1227682
this thread

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What the fuck is going on

>>1227616
haha funni joke xD

>Hi can I shove your ass with a dildo
>Sure, I love shoving dildo up my ass, but I dont have a didlo
>Cool, I just happen to have one, I'll sell it to you for $140
>Ok deal

And then they have the greatest gay sex ever

>>1227531
Did you know that 85% of people reading this thread RIGHT NOW want to OWN that pen?

This is exactly the kind of heirloom that will be passed on for generations! It is a priceless masterpiece of aesthetic beauty!

You need to own this pen, not just because this rare collectors item is a status symbol of your own refined tastes, but also because of its' many non-pen related uses! This pen coupled with its' fleshy exterior and suction cup will allow you to do an assortment of tasks, you can use it to hold paper towels, as a doorstop, it's durable enough to let the kids use it as the nose on a snowman. The possibilities are endless!

The patented real-skin exterior and extra-large grip makes it easier to hold, prevents cramping when writing for long periods of time, and is recommended by doctors over standard pens. This is so much more than a mere 'pen', it's a lifestyle. And it is a very rewarding lifestyle.

In todays world far too many people have stopped writing, writing has become a lost art and along with it the creativity and insight that drives business decisions and scientific innovation. You can change that by signing the pledge to write more today and do it with your very own dild-a-pen. The only thing left to do is sign :)

BENIS :DDDDDDD

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>>1227531

How about a trade?

>>1227531
Do me a favor and go suck a dick

>>1227531

Did you know that this was the dildo that Elon Musk used to fuck himself with as a student, before he co-founded Paypal?

And now it belongs to me, but I can't hang onto it, I am not the tech mogul of tomorrow. But you, on the other hand...

>>1227531
Nope, sorry. I already got a better offer from the gentleman in the pink suit over there. It's practically already sold.