How to appear productive

>>1036466
>professional development
Do more of this..... try to sell with team, do same

Just add three more categories for developing a clone operation in the russian market and vary time distributions each day:

x% jagginoff
y% fugginoff
z% dindoshitski

>>1036466

LOL. use the time to start looking for a new job op.

>>1036508
I'll likely get promoted within 3 months, hence why I'm trying to stay here for probably at least another half year and just make the best of the situation. Otherwise I'd agree with you.

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Hey faggots! There is such a thing as accounting. It is possible to evade the question of costs and gains. But unless you're going to write off costs and take gains for granted, sooner or later the question has to be answered.

Get used to it OP, thats the way corporate jobs work. Very very few people ever actually do 40 hours of work a week. Just fudge the numbers brah.

>>1036511
How big is your company? It's mind boggling to me that any business with greater than zombie lvl agility would
1. miss this jerking off
2. do nothing about sales
3. consider promoting anyone while you jerk off because pipeline is rusting because they gave coffee to non-closers.

>>1036466
call / meet with the sales team and then write it off

>>1036466

Well, if the bosses don't care, and it doesn't sound like they do, then fuck it. Enjoy the ride.

If you really wanna cover your ass, just put on your thinking cap and come up with something you can do that will benefit the company. Then do it.

>>1036466
No one gives a shit about those. It's just another admin task for your overworked manager. He makes sure they're filled out and moves on.

If you are getting the required work done then that's all they look at. Project completions and shit. The fact that no one has called you out and that you plan getting promoted further confirms this

>>1036466
Why not ask for following some courses for any certificate you want/could use, studie the course on your extra company time and get the certificate.
After that ask for a raise as your worth more now with your new shiny paper.

>>1036466

Not an answer to your question, but there are only two possible outcomes to this scenario unless your real contribution to the company changes quickly:

1) the management of your company is not, in fact, inept and will see the cost of servicing this client is exceeding the revenue generated, or at the very least exceeding the budgeted cost. They will come to you (or your manager) to find out why. Your tendency to fuck the dog at work will come to light. You will be unemployed.

2) your management is inept, and remains clueless to your shenanigans. Unfortunately, they also remain clueless about a great many other business fundamentals and the business goes bankrupt, most likely before they even realize what's happening. You will be unemployed.

>>1037411
You really think one level of management being incompetent is going to bring a company down. Not likely, I'd be willing to bet most large companies have wasted resources at every level of their structure

>>1036466
Spend the time creating internal tools for other departments. Most cases there's a lot of repetitive / easily computerized work that nobody has bothered to fix, so making random shit that helps others is a good way to be productive and get job security

>>1037671

The bigger the worse it is too. I worked in a nameless Fortune 100 company doing security audits... I reported to a supervisor, who reported to his manager, who reported to another manager, who reported to what is basically "the manager of managers" who then reported to a VP, then to a President, then to a Director, then to the CEO

To get an expense approved you had to litterally get 8 signatures. That means 8 presentations. 8 meetings about the presentation, and 8 different email chains

Same process at my current company? WebEx call, 2 signatures, and I can get something approved in 48 hours what would have taken 12 weeks+ before

>>1036466
OP.

I've been in your shoes before, back in 2005 and 2013/2014, except for the timesheet aspect (a huge red flag in and of itself).

Get out.

Seriously, start looking for another job yesterday. Your management is too inept to keep you productively engaged. When questions start being asked, they're going to make up a story about how you're not turning in any work (nevermind that you haven't even given any to do) and fire you. Do everything you can to get out on your own terms because a firing/layoff looks bad for you no matter how stupid the reason was.

>>1037278

>zombie level agility

You could always play Dankscape OP. Bot all day from proxies and call it 'automation processing'.

>>1037693

>Gary in accounts jigged the mailroom. Saved the company one million dollars!

>>1037818

Its actually more like "dude from IT, you know, the guy at all our meetings. He just wrote this thing that automated half of what IT does. We can effectively lay off 9 people from IT tomorrow and maintain the same productivity"

I did that once. Saved my company almost 2 million a year on wages and benefits alone.

It took them 3 years to decide that they were going to hire a big dick swinging MIT grad for half my salary.

Should have just kept my head down, performed ever so slightly above expectations, raked in bonuses, and been happy. I got bored once too

Now? I browse 4chan, watch porn in my office, and spend a minimum of 3 hours a day outside smoking with the interns. Want to guess who won the Christmas party "best department head" vote?

>>1037832
How do you account for your time spent jacking off (assuming you have to account for it)?

>>1037278
>>1037411
We're no IBM, but we are a leader in what we do. Our position in the industry and lack of competition that provides a similar level of software services has allowed us to get away with quite a lot of inefficiency. I think they're more in it for the long haul, train me up to be some sort of superstar in the department. My manager is aware of the fact that I have little work, but likely not exactly of the extent. If he was paying attention to my timesheets he would probably know I was fudging the numbers but I'm guessing he just doesn't care because he understands the reality of the situation, that I would do work if there was any. As for the sales team, these things simply take time to close as the software we sell is expensive and has a pretty major impact on our clients' competitive advantage, so the hope is that some of these deals close in the coming weeks/months which I can then implement.

>>1037366
>>1037395
This is kind of my understanding as well, but I'm just trying to cover my ass so I don't get fired if that discussion were to arise.

>>1037401
I've actually started doing this. Our company offers licenses to e-learning type websites for technical professionals, just a matter of picking a good set of courses that would be valuable to me and the company.

>>1037693
Gonna look into this as well.

Thanks for the tips guys. Believe me, I would be applying for jobs if it weren't for the fact that I'm up for promotion very soon. Gonna be applying after I know whether or not I got it, assuming the situation hasn't changed by then.

Why do you faggots think you deserve so much money for basically doing fuck all and idiot work all day when everyone has to break their back for a couple of shekels.

>>1037693
Better yet sell your company the software on a subscription basis (tell them you did it on your own time, of course)

>>1037832
I could see that train coming miles away. So at the last job that I actually cared about, I'd structure program changes so that _better_ work would be done. Failing that, so that more work overall could be done. All increasing productivity alone does is give dummies in management the idea that they can lay everybody off without consequences.

>>1038265
because the work we do in those 4 hours is more important than digging a ditch ever will be.

OP, if it's really that dead use up your vacation to go somewhere. But most people in software are never really busy. I mean if you worked in a single product there's always minor improvements and backlog bug fixes, but you probably don't maintain access to code based after consulting right?

>>1038406
Well, I'm on the team that does implementations, installation, user trainijg, custom cofniguration/integrations, not actually development of the product (that would be Engineering). I've actually brought up the idea that I would gladly help out with development of the product because I have the skills (Java, C#, JavaScript, every database technology under the sun, Web design, etc.), and I've actually done development before for a few of our products which everyone was satisfied with, but the obstacle in this case is that management has to justify "expending" me as a resource to Engineering, which apparently involves jumping through a lot of hoops... doesn't seem like it's going to happen.