No idea why I'm even (shit)posting this here, but whatever.

You can bullshit your way into anything if you have the personality and can back it up with some substance.

>1) What fucking file format do people want for resumes these days? I'm that out of the loop. Should this shit be .doc, .rft, what?
If they care they'll specify. Otherwise, just make it look good.

>2) If I'm reasonable affable and can straight-face a lie, how easy is it to get away with that on a resume? I've never befriended anyone in HR before or worked in HR, so I don't know if they actually like, call a fucking university to check if you actually got a degree from them. Is there even a way to prove that shit?
Depends on what you lie about, who you lie to, where you lie about it, and what the job is. If you lie on paper (an application) about education, experience, past salary, etc., then you can and will be found out if the employer does a thorough background check. When you are found out you'll be immediately fired. But since you're coming from a shitty retail job, whatever positions you apply to won't be important enough to warrant one, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

PDF for your resume.

>>1025637
>since you're coming from a shitty retail job, whatever positions you apply to won't be important enough to warrant one, so I wouldn't worry too much about it.

This, why in god's name did you work retail for 10 years? I would literally kill myself out of boredom.

>skills
>folding shirts
>hanging up shirts
>organizing shirts
>scanning barcodes on shirts
>keeping the grim spectre of suicide at bay as I immerse myself in shirts for 8 hours a day for $10/hour

>>1024828
>No money to invest in stocks or any dumb memes, I just want to work a boring 9 - 5 and go home and do my thing.
>stocks or any dumb memes
>9 - 5 and go home and do my thing
kek

>>1025641
This right here. Don't give them a format they can edit. Got burned once when a recruiter passed around a version of my resume that had a few letters missing out of my first name.

They might ask for a transcript, especially of there's some GPA requirement. But I doubt you'll be applying for one of those sorts of jobs if you've been in retail for 10 years.