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Mission impossible mode: You have zero savings; no real assets;

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Mission impossible mode:

You have zero savings; no real assets; say $30,000 debt (credit cards and student loans); only a BA in something like journalism, advertising, English or whatever; only work history is service or retail like cashier or bartender or waiter; no home

BONUS for extra points no or suspended license, no passport, and/or medical debts at wizard level (doesn't matter if virgin only that you're 30)

Extra bonus points: you don't fall back on your parents or social services to do it


How do you dig out and make a fortune? This is the /biz/ equivalent of going inna woods with only a hunting knife and surviving.
>>
Apply to law school and work part-time there? I know plenty of English majors that ended up going to law school.
>>
What is the point of this retarded "what if" scenario?

Just mental masturbation?

>"What if I could fly but I could fly for no longer than 5 minutes at a time but I could also not land on solid ground however I could also not walk for longer than 10 minutes and I was in the middle of an island from which the nearest island was ~25km and I can only fly 30km/hr. What do?"
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>>1011029
This is bad advice. The law industry is flushed with new lawyers right now and law school will put you even further into debt.

I don't have good advice for you, but I can tell you that this is not your option currently.
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>>1011039
To test acumen. Problem solving. You do realize a lot of business leaders dig themselves out of financial insolvency, right? It's not exactly unheard of for business to file bankruptcy and reform themselves. Frankly I would ask a similar question in HR just to see if the applicant has the wherewithal to stick with the company and not be afraid to problem solve in a right spot or make the most out of what little resources he has.

I don't exactly want someone at the company who thinks he can't grow the company without a massive budget to spend without restraint or frugal efficiency, or an entrepreneurial spirit in helping to build the business into a powerhouse from humble beginnings.
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>>1011047
Yeah true a lot of guys after 2008 ended up working as "consultants" or had to make ends meet barely when they entered it envisioning a life of plenty. Honestly you'd have better luck being a teacher in California or going into healthcare.
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Become criminal. Not even joking, seems the easiest way out of that hole other than winning the lottery or having a sudden stroke of complete genius and invent something amazing.
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Why are you all so fuckign dramatic?

I studied history and I did a standard amount of internships at a top of the range but not Oxbridge uni in the UK and I just landed a massively comfy job for a huge company doing something great

I know loads of friends who are in similar positions.

The only people I know struggling are music students
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>>1011039
its his way of getting others to help him out without outing himself as a complete retard for digging this hole in the first place
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>>1011073
No one is being "so fucking dramatic" except for you captain sweary pants.

We are playing to the numbers. Statistically there are better majors than the others if financial gain is your goal.

With a college degree surely you have learned the term "anecdotal evidence" by now.
>>
>>1011025
Why are you describing my life?
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>>1011093
That may be so, but you all make it sound like anybody who studies anything that isn't some sort of computer science will end up homeless if not dead.
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>>1011067
If the situation were a felon, I might be tempted to agree (which is what happens to those people. You don't even make minimum wage as a low level drug dealer. If you're female, you don't make much money in sex past 30-36)

But this would only make sense otherwise if say you had Rubio's cocaine connections or somehow had mob ties or met guys in prison. Even knocking off a bank won't get you even a year's middle class income, unlike some very stupid people imagine (think more like a few grand in a robbery crime only pays in cases of wire fraud or political corruption or ties to criminal upper class or something)
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>>1011101
I was hoping this wouldn't deteriorate into some stupid Ayn Rand vs. Socialism thread, but even that would be more interesting.

What I was hoping for was in the vein of /k/'s inna woods survivalist threads. It's not about fleeing the cops or the world has ended, but what would you do and could you survive with just a BOB for a week or even month. I take it there are no operators here
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>>1011120
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>>1011056
>To test acumen. Problem solving. You do realize a lot of business leaders dig themselves out of financial insolvency, right?

It makes no sense.

In order to get yourself into such a situation you would need to lack very basic levels of foresight and ability to consider the consequences(and rewards) of your choices. Which should be a given considering you're deciding the next 4 years of your life, tens of thousands of dollars which ultimately affects the rest of your life.

It doesn't test "problem solving" because if you're not a fucking retard this simply does not occur.

>>1011076
Yeah I figured. This board is filled with this type of garbage...
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>>1011120
>I take it there are no operators here

Tactical LARPers are as cringeworthy as fedora-wearers
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>>1011025
where's your BA from?
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>>1011138
>In order to get yourself into such a situation you would need to lack very basic levels of foresight and ability to consider the consequences(and rewards) of your choices.
Or you run into a string of super shitty luck like me.
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>>1011039
Fly for 5 minutes and rest for 5 minutes, repeat 10 times and you're on main land

Too easy senpai
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>>1011286
>Or you run into a string of super shitty luck like me.

How did you get unlucky?

How is it possible to "accidentally" end up with no savings, a shit degree, $10,000's in debt, no work experience AND no where to stay?

At some point you need to take responsibility for your bad choices.
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>>1011288
>Fly for 5 minutes and rest for 5 minutes,

But you cannot land on solid ground. You'd only be able to walk and rest until you get to the edge of the island then you'd have to swim over water and since you can't fly for longer than 5 minutes you will land on water and drown.
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>>1011025
BIZ, there's only one way to do this, and you probably will not make a fortune but you can be damn comfortable. You have to go back to school for a trade. machine shop, drafting, mechatronics, robots, fluid power, just do something useful.

Two years of trade school and two years of working on the job and you can have a pretty respectable income if your not a fuck up and make the right connections.

In my little Midwestern town of 15k population 3M corporation pays $28 an hour for basic mechanical maintenance. That sure beats wrenching on people's rusted out Chevy's.

Some of these managers are hitting 100k+ a years without much education or responsibilities. Jesus christ some of them just surf the internet all day researching their next vacation spot or new upgrades for their harleys :(
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>>1011290
You land in the water and tread for 5 minutes. If you can't tread water for 5 minutes then you probably lack the ability to fly for 5 minutes
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>>1011295
>If you can't tread water for 5 minutes then you probably lack the ability to fly for 5 minutes

The reason you cannot fly for more than 5 minutes is because it uses all your energy, so you are too exhausted to be able to tread water.
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>>1011025
become as fun and charismatic as possible, then start hanging around med school chicks
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>>1011289
>go to uni
>get decent degree
>expensive but expect the debt to be manageable even if career doesnt pay that great
>end up not being able to get any jobs
>savings run out
>eviction notice
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>>1011025
1. Make up some stupid gimmicky shit "life" hack at a TedX (free to attend and almost no screening)

2. Work a dead-end job to pay for website and design your "life hack guide"

3. After the guide is finished, break into a rich guy's garage and film about how your life is mega awesome using your method.

4. Use the rest of your paycheck (other than the small amount you use for ramen and cardboard box maintenance) to purchase Youtube ads promoting your shitty "secret".

5. Sell your $10.00 eBook like hotcakes

6. ???

7. Profit.
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>>1011025
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>>1011025
Get a job selling anything that is comission only. You don't need any credentials or degree to get in and the company won't pay you unless you bring in revenue so they have nothing to lose. All you have to do it work hard, the harder you work the more you make. Most people can't even do that.

I have a community college degree, was in $20k debt 6 months ago with no parents to help and now I'm net positive and all I do is door to door sales.
>>
>>1011025
>say $30,000 debt (credit cards and student loans)

Those are two very different types of debt. If it's 30,000 in government student loans, you're a hell of a lot better off than 30,000 in credit card debt.
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>>1011025
Join JET program.
~$30k per year plus benefits (including govt housing and health care)
Only requirement is a BA or BS plus passport.
Live below your means.
Manage to be back in the black in a few years.
That's a few years where you can bang qt3.14 Asian girls on the side too.
>>
ßß▲
▲ß▲
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>>1011025

>Poor
>in debt
>useless major like journalism or english
>no real assets
>30+

I think I'd try to pull a J.K. Rowling and write a successfull Children/Teen novel.
If that doesn't work out I'd just kill myself
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>>1011317

Do scams actually still work in this day and age? I mean they worked maybe in the 90s and early 2000s when the internet was new and nobody knew that "I love you.exe" was a virus destroying your computer, but now pretty much everyone who uses the internet knows when to tell a scam,has phishing filters and adblocks automatically keeping the junk away from them and anyone who genuinely is interested just to see what it is will get your advice thing from a pirate board anyway (I did that on a "how to get the number of every girl" scam just to see what the fuck he was gonna say)
>>
>>1011307

Then fly for 4 minutes
>>
1.pick up a trade

2.sales job

either one bro
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>>1011317
>After the guide is finished, break into a rich guy's garage and film about how your life is mega awesome using your method.

Keks were had.

OP I was thinking learn something like coding.
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>>1011056
>It's not exactly unheard of for business to file bankruptcy and reform themselves.

Its 'cause they have money but realise their business is a lost cause so they hide what they have and say they can't pay their debt. Insolvency isn't exactly starting fresh. Its more like ripping everyone off so you're set up for your next adventure.
>>
Selling stuff on ebay for more than you paid for it.
>>
>>1011025
>only a BA in something like journalism, advertising
Too easy.
>>
>take out life insurance
>kill yourself
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Well, the scenario implies that Ive been a retard my whole life, so I probably wont fix it either.
>>
Start sucking dicks. $10 per. $30-40 an hour assuming travel time.
You'll leave the retail plebs in the dust on your way to fortunes.
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>>1011279
We are assuming some middling to lower tier college or university, obviously not an Ivy. Regardless the point was to see what people could come up with, plus I never excluded say other types of connections, nor was I assuming a felon or somebody completely that dumb that they can't figure anything out (hence the BA instead of just a GED or incomplete college/uni dropout or whatever)

I was curious to see what people would come up with and where their heads were.
>>
Ok now easy mode:

You are sent to university for engineering right out of high school. You screw it up, and end up dropping out of two other programs with a terrible academic record.

You turn 24 and inherit $450k. How do you fix your life?
>>
>>1011693

fly to some somalian village and buy enough guns and cocaine to eventually take it over

if it fails then you die in a coked up blaze of glory
>>
>>1011801
would probably get my throat slit in the middle of the night by some aids infested somalian
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>>1011693
50% IRA
20% REIT
20% S&P tracker fund
10% go back to school and actually learn engineering instead of partying

Get a job and life the normal upper middle class life

Retire wealthy
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>>1011693
Bundle your debt firstly, but I'd wonder what other assets you have or even if you're capable of starting up a small business. No matter the debt load, be it ten grand or a million, don't worry about the net total and panic over it, but take it a day at a time and figure out the actual payment plan later. I'm assuming you would have already deferred it due to economic hardship. It's not like income is necessarily pegged to education like people think (unless of course you are going into a strictly academic field)
>>
>>1011498
Are you kidding? You think that internet scams don't fucking work in 2015?
>>
>borrow 5 bux from parents
>purchase cardboard box
>purchase cuppa noodles
>eat cuppa noodles
>jump off bridge
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>>1011039

Its OP wanting advice but being too much of a pussy to admit that he's put himself in a shitty situation
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>>1011025
do like every other journalist does and become a paid shill for big corporations?
>>
>go to a university
>be a cool partier with a cynical yet ambitious view of the world
>climb the ladder
>get paid to show up
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>>1011920
Oh, poor reading comprehension I thought he meant debt. I was wondering how someone winds up with almost half a million in debt by that age.
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>>1011025
Legally?

You can't.
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Assuming you're not a complete waste physically and are a superstar academically, go to law school on loans. While there, ignore the boring classes like Civil Procedure and Contracts. Use someone elses notes to pass those. Use the extra free time to drink, carouse, and maintain excellent physical fitness. Graduate. Play the field. Find a hot, wealthy woman. Practice hypergamy. Move to a super zip. The rest will work itself out.
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>>1011025

Join the military.
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>>1011025
Does this scenario include losing all your current skills? Because I could easily simply start a a few new Github projects to show off my skills and contribute to a few other popular projects, maybe do some freelance work and then get hired for a very good job within a few weeks.
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>>1011076

/thread
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>>1011025
You've got a few choices that are mentioned here: trades, sales or start a business.

I wasn't in debt, but I had no real job prospects and was in construction and hated it. I became a cop. I worked all the OT I could, saved money, invested in real estate, started a small ecommerce business and now am semi-retired. I make around ~150k a year. I did this in about 12 years.
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>>1011025
>How do you dig out and make a fortune?

Take out a life insurance policy and then kill myself for being such a retard
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>>1012673

You have to wait 2 years for the suicide contestiblity period to expire
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Go off the grid. Live inside a Target. Or any store. Just pick a store that isn't open 24 hours.
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>>1011025
Join the military, pay off debts, study investing and save you money.
>>
Clever ruse thread that exposes how retarded it is that no matter how smart you are, if you're in a hole like this, murrika won't let you prosper. Funniest part is the "brilliant" minds on /biz/ (lol) seriously can't dig themselves out.
>>
>>1013851
US Military doesn't take high debt people anymore. They have more than enough recruits without the hassle and they're not a charity.
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>>1013869
The Army takes literally anyone.
>>
example 1: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nCKkHqlx9dE

all vids-> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAL3JXZSzSm8AlZyD3nQdBA/videos

all videos-> https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCAL3JXZSzSm8AlZyD3nQdBA/videos
enjoy your new muscles
>>
1. Sell kidney
2. go on code academy and become computer genius
3. invent next facebook
4. profit
>>
>>1011496

This is objectively the correct answer. J.K. Rowling was in pretty much the situation OP described and got out of it by writing Harry Potter
>>
>>1011073
>I studied history and I did a standard amount of internships at a top of the range but not Oxbridge uni in the UK and I just landed a massively comfy job for a huge company doing something great
And that job is? I'm always curious what jobs humanities students actually get.
>>
>>1014815
Anyone?
>>
>>1011120
god damn, WAY too much Call of Duty here
>>
Join the Air Force and get into a support role like IT, facilities, or public affairs. Come out after 4 years with transferable skills. Work for a government contractor until you get enough experience to start your own business.

If the Air Force doesn't want you, join the Navy. If the Navy doesn't want you, kill yourself.
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>>1011067
Unless you combine tax fraud, pick pocketing, heavy drugs (weed is for plebs) you won't be making that much.
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>>1011029
My father did this and is very successful, granted he had a degree from Oxford University, and this was years ago. I think that the market is slightly more saturated now, but who knows.

Best advice from me is to live on as little as possible and try and save up the rest, invest it in some way (not necessarily the stock market), and then work towards a job that could pay well, whether that means retraining, or not.
>>
I too work in midwest and make 29/hour with 2 year degree
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>>1011025

Well this is nearly my exact situation.

>graduated with a BA in political science 4 months ago
>40k in student debt
>took two months to find a 22/hr IT job that I lied on my resume to get
>paid back about 4k of my student loans so far
>should have them fully paid off in about 2 years in I stick to my financial plan
>hopefully sticking with this job will make my resume look good
>maybe get a better job

Am I really fucked THAT bad? I feel like I'm in a good position compared to many of my peers. I can also live in my moms basement as long as I have a job so expenses are low as fug senpai
>>
>take a bus to the big city
>go to your local thrift store
>rob it with no gun
>use the money to buy a gun
>go to place of living
>put the gun to your head
>pull the trigger
>because if you major in English, kys feg
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>>1017367
>he fell for the stem meme
>>
>>1013948
I came.
>>
French Foreign Legion
>>
>>1011025
>dedicate life to the gym and looking good
>maybe even save up and get plastic surgery
>become some rich old lady's boy toy

Easy peasy.
>>
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>>1011577
>yfw most american life insurance doesnt cover suicide
Thread posts: 86
Thread images: 8


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