You nostalgia you lose I'll start

Literally who?

>>745426714
>Being this new

>>745426744
I've been here since 1998 newfag

>>745426714
>literally who?
I bet you hear that a lot on a daily basis

>>745426803
Hardcore.

>>745426803
Somebody get this hero a medal

File: killyourselfmyman.jpg (67KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

67KB, 600x600px

>>745426803
I shitposted on Pompeii's walls you cunt

>>745426652
>>745430104

>>745426652

Who?

>>745430396
>>745430419
>>745430447
the absolute madman

File: 1459312922931.jpg (133KB, 736x503px) Image search: [Google]

133KB, 736x503px

>>745430492
your life is a lie

>>745430396
>>745430419
>>745430447
>>745430724
>>745430750
Cooooooooooooooooollllllllll

File: Stomping kittens and puppies.webm (2MB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 640x360px

>>745430897

File: 1381149390624.jpg (41KB, 439x256px) Image search: [Google]

41KB, 439x256px

>>745426652

File: safe2.png (39KB, 961x301px) Image search: [Google]

39KB, 961x301px

>>745431101

File: 1274869732087.jpg (12KB, 242x251px) Image search: [Google]

12KB, 242x251px

Hey Faggots,
My name is John, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it’s fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on facebook.
Don’t be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I’m pretty much perfect. I was captain of the football team, and starter on my basketball team. What sports do you play, other than “jack off to naked drawn Japanese people”? I also get straight A’s, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.
Pic Related: It’s me and my bitch

>>745430492
>>745430752
You train people were the original furries.

File: 1270231720067.jpg (29KB, 345x281px) Image search: [Google]

29KB, 345x281px

Legend has it that if you travel east to Japan, you will find an old man living on the coast just 40 miles south of Tokyo. If you give this man $500,000 he will take you to an island just off the coast that can't be found on any map. This island is filled with people without faces or names, who hold grudges over the most trivial of matters. When you arrive at this island the first thing you will see is a swimming pool that is never open. Just beyond the pool you will find a town that is filled with cats. You must find a white cat wearing a pink bow. If you ask the cat how to get to Mexico, he will stand up and ask you for three things: Your name, your face, and your soul. If you agree to give them to him, your face will vanish and you will forget your own name. You can live on the island and have whatever you desire, but you can never leave the island. The only way to escape is to find the cat again and ask for a young child. The next day a van will pull up in front your house. You will hear a knock at the door, and a voice will ask if you want to come to a party. No one knows what happens if you answer the door.

>>745431317
>mfw quick google search didn't bring up anything.

you just wrote that up yourself on the spot, did you? Hoping it'd turn into copypasta, right?
You make me sad, hete.

>>745431317
>>745431503
>homo autismo africansis

File: THE_MAN.jpg (46KB, 600x706px) Image search: [Google]

46KB, 600x706px

HI, I'M GEORGE ZIMMER, FOUNDER AND CEO OF THE MEN'S WEARHOUSE. ONE DAY, ABOUT A WEEK AGO, I WAS HOLDING A MEETING WITH MY COMPANY'S BOARD OF DIRECTORS, EXPLAINING THE IMPORTANCE OF DEDICATION, AND QUALITY IN THE SALE OF OUTRAGEOUSLY DAPPER SUITS, WHEN I NOTICED ONE OF THE MEMBERS OF THE BOARD WAS, IN FACT, A STUNNINGLY BEAUTIFUL BLOND FEMALE, HER BEAUTY MATCHED ONLY BY HER PROFESSIONAL MANNER AND ABSOLUTELY ELEGANT SUIT. THIS COMBINATION OF STIMULI GAVE MY MONOLITHIC CROTCH CANNON NO CHOICE BUT TO AUGMENT AND OBLITERATE MY PANTS. WITHIN MOMENTS MY MY MEMBER HAD DESOLATED THE BOARD ROOM, THE TABLE HAVING BEEN SMASHED UNDER THE SHEER GIRTH OF MY PELVIC PULVERISER, AND THE WOMAN IN QUESTION WAS IMPALED ON ITS GARGANTUAN TIP, HAVING THROWN HERSELF IN ITS APOCOLIPTIC PATH OF DESTRUCTION IN AN EFFORT NOT ONLY TO SAVE THE LIVES OF HER COLLEAGUES, BUT TO EXPERIENCE FIRSTHAND THE QUASI-RELIGEOUS EXPERIENCE THAT IS ZIMMER. AS MY TROUSER TRUNCHEON EXPANDED, DEMOLISHING WALLS AND DISPATCHING THE INTERNS WHO ATTEMPTED TO ESCAPE WITH THEIR LIVES RATHER THAN THROW THEMSELVES AT THE MERCY OF MY THROBBING FLESH MISSLE.

>>745431620
MOMENTS LATER MY PHALLUS HAD KNOCKED OUT MANY OF THE BUILDING'S SUPPORT BEAMS AND THE FLOORS OVERHEAD CRASHED DOWN, THE FORCE OF THEIR MOMENTUM CAUSING THE ENTIRE BUILDING ITSELF TO COLLAPSE IN A NIGHTMARISH MANNER NOT UNLIKE A FAMOUS DISASTER FROM A FEW YEARS AGO. RISING FROM THE RUBBLE, WITH THE STUNNING BOARD MEMBER STILL ON THE TIP OF MY GOD-SHLONG CRYING ALOUD FOR MERCY, HER SUIT AS WELL AS MINE UTTERLY RUINED BY THE AFFAIR, AS WELL AS A DOZEN OTHERS STILL CLINGING TO THE SHAFT. i LET OUT A THUNDERING ROAR AND LET SPEW FORTH MY SEED WITH SUCH AWE-INSPIRING FORCE THAT THE LOAD SHATTERED THE SOUND BARRIER, VAPOURIZING MY LUSTY ASSOCIATE, CRUSHING EVERYONE IN SIGHT AND SHATTERING EVERY WINDOW IN A 5-MILE RADIUS. IN THE AFTERMATH, STANDING NAKED AND COVERED IN CEMENT DUST, AND SMILING CONTENTLY AT THE DEMOLISHED, SEMEN-COVERED RUINS BEFORE ME, I SPOTTED A SMALL DOG, STUMBING IN THE DEBRIS, ITS EARS BLEEDING AND GASPING FOR BREATH IN THE HUMID MUSK. I COULDN'T HELP MYSELF. WITH A LOUD THUD MY ELEPHANTINE MAN-HAMMER HAD CRUSHED THE ANIMAL LIKE A THICK, MEATY FLYSWATTER. I GUARANTEE IT.

>>745427201
oh man that was some good times.

File: freshprince.jpg (27KB, 368x336px) Image search: [Google]

27KB, 368x336px

>>745426652

File: whatareyougonnado.jpg (22KB, 500x363px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 500x363px

>>745431754
I'll be there in 30 minutes

File: mfw stone cold.gif (954KB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

954KB, 320x240px

>>745431885
>she fought so damn hard

File: banned-Anonymous-3.jpg (13KB, 250x188px) Image search: [Google]

13KB, 250x188px

The human genome is about 3,120,000,000 DNA base pairs long, so half of that is in each spermatozoa. That gives us 1,560,000,000 base pairs in a single sperm cell.

Each of those base pairs can be an A-T bond or a G-C bond, and can be aligned in either direction. That means there’s 4 ways it can be aligned, and that can be represented in two bits of data: 00=G, 01=C, 10=A, and 11=T, for example.

Now, the average dude lets out about 50 and 500 million sperm with each go. Rough average says that it’d probably be about 200 million, right? If we take all this information and combine it with the wonders of mathematics, we have 1.560*10^9 * 2 bits * 2.00*10^8. Do all the equational shit, and we have 6.24*10^17 bits transmitted in a single burst.

That’s 78,000 Terabytes, in what amounts to a half-minute-at-most event.

We could fit a digitized copy of the Library of Congress into your spooge. It’d only take about 20 terabytes.

So your dick has a higher bandwidth than any Internet connection that ever existed, and is likely to exist any time soon. Now, imagine a machine that used your saltshaker to surf the Internet.

Of course, god knows most of you would only use that power to surf for pr0n.

File: 1468534537677.jpg (160KB, 1024x768px) Image search: [Google]

160KB, 1024x768px

>>745426652

File: tubgirl.jpg (51KB, 640x430px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 640x430px

>>745426652

File: 1276636485519.jpg (16KB, 313x232px) Image search: [Google]

16KB, 313x232px

Hey, /b/, I need some help. I probably have 50 STDs right now.

It all started one cold winter night. In fact it was last night. I was downtown with some friends, cause I'm cool like that. We were trying to pick up some hot underage girls so we began talking about who would win in a fight, Goku or Piccolo - definitely a win topic for picking up 'em bitches

Anyway, we weren't coming across with much success, apparently the female species that night didn't seem particularly impressed by our DBZ poses. Suddenly we were approached by an ugly lady who seemed to have untidy long hair and red eyes. She began asking us if we had money my friends ignored her. I looked at her and instantly fell in love. It was love at first sight, how could I deny my true love some change? I gave her the money to my friends' bewilderment. Then she asked us if we were underage; my friends continued to ignore her, and boastful, I pouted out my chest and lied in a deep voice, No I'm 19!
"How much do you got?" She asked
My mommy gave me 40 dollars. I proudly responded
She said, okay, let's get this on
And with that she dragged me off to the wall of the nearby building where she proceeded to rip off my pants and her pants. It was freezing cold, but being a virgin who was about to make love to my sweet heart, I didn't mind. Unfortunately as she ripped her pants off, I noticed she had a big fat man meat that was covered in warts. She forcefully grabbed me and pushed me up against the wall and proceed to anally penetrate me with gargantuan one-eyed monster. I suddenly started to enjoy the warty dick up my ass when I just blurted out "FRESH!"

Stunned, she stopped and asked, "What?"

I continued, "FRESH" and it had dice in the mirror but anyway I could say that this cab was rare but I thought nah forget "YO HOLMES TO BEL-AIR!" I pulled up to the house about 7 or 8 and I yelled to the cabbie Yo holmes smell ya later! Looked at my kingdom I was finally there to sit on my throne as the prince of Bel-air

File: 42352353.jpg (104KB, 640x360px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 640x360px

>>745432352
Classic

>>745426652
too soon

File: moot_factSheet.jpg (342KB, 796x600px) Image search: [Google]

342KB, 796x600px

>>745433229

Soup /b/? First of all, I work in a screenprinting shop, i.e., we make t-shirts. We have recently recieved a new machine that prints plastisol (ink) directly onto a tee. To test this, I made myself a pedobear t-shirt. None of the shoops, just the original pedobear.

Anyway, I am out at the local Taco Bell gorging myself on shitty tacos. I am wearing the pedobear shirt, of course, when a mom and her three little girls (all with delicious, flat loli chests... I had to stop from fapping right there in the restaurant) stroll in. I smirk, knowing I'm wearing the shirt, but it doesn't stop there.

The seeming youngest girl sees the shirt and says loudly to her mom "Mommy! That boy has a bear
on his shirt. It is SO cute!". The other two look and start to giggle, and I hear them talk about how much they love it, and how they want one, etc, etc. To be honest, /b/, I almost lost it right there. I had to bite my tongue to keep from bursting out into laughter.

>>745426652
L I T E R A L L Y W H O
...I
.....T
.......E
.........R
............A
...............L
.................L
...................Y

.......................W
...........................H
..............................O

>>745432051
Newfag

Earlier today, while talking to a client about her policy, I accidentally said "I'm pro rape" instead of "I'll pro-rate your account". She tried to ignore the slip up, unfortunately I complicated matters by gagging her with my necktie and repeatedly raping her. Sometimes I think I must not care about Geico shareholder value at all.

Somneone has the thread about the guy who stole a head from the Catacombs and fucked it for ou enjoyment?

File: 1286482051299.jpg (2MB, 4527x3586px) Image search: [Google]

2MB, 4527x3586px

>>745433887
Of fucking course I got it.

>>745427201
beetlejuice?

File: mfw stone thumbs up.gif (126KB, 200x200px) Image search: [Google]

126KB, 200x200px

>>745433984
doing god's work, anon

File: 1194489859818.jpg (17KB, 270x296px) Image search: [Google]

17KB, 270x296px

>>745430593
see
>>>/s4s/5743532

>>745430593
The game has turned to Ur mum dies xD lol. Fucking gay

Moot is a narcissist.

Does anyone have the 'good old lickaroo' story?

So /b/ I had to get a colonoscopy today
That's where they stick a camera up your ass and take pictures of your intestines.

Anyway, that part wasn't bad, the bad part was the prep for it: I didn't eat anything yesterday. Starting at 3 PM I had to drink about 2 liters of this shit that would he;lp clear my intestines out. Basically, from 3 PM until about 12 I had SEVERE abdominal cramps. I mean severe. I'm talking about rolling around on the floor punching shit severe.

Anyway, during this, I started to get horny for some reason. It was a strange feeling really. Not even being able to stand up because of crippling pains, and yet at the same time, having a raging boner and wanting to jack off.
Anyway, I had been shitting brown water since 3 (that's what the nasty shit I drank did), and I needed to again. But since I had a huge boner I figured I'll take care of it while I'm in the can. So, I'm standing over the toilet cranking one off, and I'm getting the shits, so I sit down. Just before I'm about to cum, I start feeling like I'm going to puke. Now, I had vomit brewing for awhile. You know that feeling you get when you're going to puke? When you start to feel sick and start salivating a lot? I had been getting that since I went to the bathroom. Anyway it built up enough that I started VIOLENTLY and LOUDLY puking. I'm fucking lucky the sink is right next to the toilet. The force of this caused me to begin shooting shit-water out of my ass with the force of a pressure washer. The spasming of my entire body caused my hand to move around enough that I started cumming.

So after all was said and done, I had a line of fire burning a line from my balls to and up my asscrack, puke in the sink, and cum covering my legs.

Just letting you know how bad my day was.

File: 1205974133600.gif (18KB, 563x302px) Image search: [Google]

18KB, 563x302px

>>745434109

>>745434492
have you tried googling it?

>>745431216
>>745431216
Doesnt afraid of anything.

>>745434251
No, it hasn't.

Im back bois

File: 1287101397739.jpg (57KB, 700x525px) Image search: [Google]

57KB, 700x525px

BAN SOCCER AT VUVUZELA CONCERTS

File: vuvuzela.jpg (45KB, 696x348px) Image search: [Google]

45KB, 696x348px

>>745434800
BZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzZZZZZZZZZzzzzzzzzzzzz

one kid i'll never forget is dan.

when i was sixteen, i was a whackjob so they put me in a young adult program. basically for crazy kids.

one of the guys there was named dan.
i never really found out what was wrong with him-
i figured he had schizophrenia or MPD, maybe even OCD.
anyways, this kid loved to smell. i'm not talking about a little whiff here and there, he was smelling CONSTANTLY.
he had a good sense of smell, too.

he'd say things like
"i've smelled the dinosaurs before."
"have you ever smelled the past?"
and he'd be totally serious.

one time, he asked a nurse what time it was.
she was a real bitch, and she just said
"well what time do you THINK it is, DAN."

and he took a big whiff and was like
"SMELLS LIKE 4:10."
i'll remember that moment for the rest of my life.

>>745434931
could Dan be... dare I say... "the man"?
Dan the man, perhaps?

>>745434623
Have you tried killing yourself you stupid fuck

File: 1268715203496.jpg (80KB, 601x714px) Image search: [Google]

80KB, 601x714px

I'm Gary MOTHERFUCKING Oak, /b/

And girls want to fuck me. Let it piss you off as much as you want, but you know it's completely true. That girl you like who is kinda cute in a weird way, but is totally sweet and you have the biggest crush on? The one who keeps going back to guys who treat her wrong for reasons you don't understand? The one who calls you up at 1 am to cry about how her boyfriend hasn't called her in 3 days, and no matter how long you listen to her, she'll never think of you as anything other than asexual? The one who will curl up next to you on the couch, hug you close, kiss you on the cheek, and never let you fucking touch her beyond that?

Yeah, I'm fucking her. I'm Gary MOTHERFUCKING Oak.

The hot girl who won't even look at you when you nod at them and smile? The one who laughs when you trip in the hallway and drop your stuff? The one who comes up and coyly asks for your help with her homework, and then pretends you don't exist once you finish?

Yeah, I'm fucking her too, even harder, because I'm Gary MOTHERFUCKING Oak.

The geeky girl you think might be enough like you that you have a chance with her? She plays Warcraft on your server, and watches anime, and reads comics? She's so incredible and you just love her so much but you still haven't worked up the courage to tell her how you feel about her?

Guess who just sucked me off and told me they'll always love me?

-- Gary MOTHERFUCKING Oak. Smell ya later!

>>745435361
wow rude

>Have you ever fucked a grill without a condor?

I was stuck in traffic one day and just kinda thought it would be funny to masturbate. It was sunny and clear out, so I was worried one of the other drivers would see me, but my jeep is pretty high off the ground, so I think no one noticed. I busted a nut and aimed it down, ruining my tweety bird floor mat. I felt kinda stupid after and my mom kept silent the rest of the drive home. It was awkward and I regret it.

File: jk.png (376KB, 6252x239px) Image search: [Google]

376KB, 6252x239px

>>745436074

BLASTOISE WOULD NEVER HURT MY MOM. HE WOULD NEVER MAKE HER CRY LIKE HER BOYFRIEND JOHNNY DOES. IF BLASTOISE WAS MY DAD THINGS WOULD BE DIFFERENT AROUND HERE.

>>745428753
G I A N T E N E M Y C R A B

When I was about nine, I had recently gotten a Nintendo Entertainment System from a garage sale down the road, the first gaming system I ever had. One game that I bought was Super Mario Brothers 3, the final chapter of the widely-acclaimed SMB trilogy, which like in the original Super Mario Brothers consisted of Mario/Luigi chasing after Princess Toadstool (whose name has since been bastardized to 'Peach'). Back on topic though; so I had advanced to World 2, "Desert Land" and I was moving along rather smoothly, in the back of my mind knowing that at some point the levels would start to get more difficult; I soon noticed a tile, one unlike the other tiles (Toad houses, numbered tiles, etc). It appeared to be some cross-hybrid of flowing diarrhea and sand, which caught my attention. I navigated my way to the tile, and hit the A button and was warped to what appeared to be a normal level; there even was a happy sunshine in the top left corner! As I side-scrolled my way through the level, the fucking sun decided to go apeshit and sodomize me repeatedly until I finally broke down in tears, throwing my controller at the ground screaming for my mom. That fucking bastard.

>>745436552
someone seriously traced an actual comic in ms paint and made a gif out of it? And thought it was better than the original?

>>745430897
Lol, why did that nigga get flushed?

>>745430593
Go to s4s lmao

File: g.jpg (479KB, 2592x1944px) Image search: [Google]

479KB, 2592x1944px

>>745430593

File: 1263631011248.gif (496KB, 300x300px) Image search: [Google]

496KB, 300x300px

>>745437101
It is better. As it wastes time of the user you direct it at.

This basically concludes my dump. I hope you /b/ros enjoyed.

>>745426744
>falling for obvious bait
>being this teenage

Will Jizzus come back in 2017?

File: 1279305758166.png (22KB, 500x500px) Image search: [Google]

22KB, 500x500px

>>745437497
With a shit eating grin.

>>745435415
Thank you Gary. I love you.

My first sexual experience was when i was in 11th grade. I went out with this chick a couple of tiems and things were going good, then she came with my to my prom. After what was a fun night, we went to the after party, we got a little drunk and both went to go to sleep, I had a sudden urge of courage and slippped my hand down the front of her pants. She didn't resist, so i kept going, eventually she started breathing heavily, and making little sounds.

I didn't know what I was doing so i just kept going. Her breathing got heavier. She was getting really wet and the noises were getting louder. I was really nervous because we were in the lounge room and there were other people sleeping all around of us. There were about 8 people in the room including us, and i was scared someone was oging to wwake up and catch us.

I kept going anyway and her pussy got wetter and wetter. Her breathing got more rapid and i could see she was straining not to make too much noise.

She was almost about to cum when i felt sometime wierd in her vagina... it was automatic... it was systematic... it was hydromatic... WHY ITS A GREASE LIGHTNING

We'll get some overhead lifters and some four barrell quads oh yeah (Keep talking woah keep talking)

We'll get some overhead lifters and some four barrel quads oh yeah (Keep talking whoa keep talking) A fuel injection cutoff and chrome plated rods oh yeah (I'll get the money I'll kill to get the money) With a four speed on the floor they'll be waiting at the door You know that ain't no shit we'll be getting lots of tit In Grease Lightning Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go

Go grease lightning you're burning up the quarter mile (Grease lightning go grease lightning) Go grease lightning you're coasting through the heat lap trial You are supreme the chicks'll cream for grease lightning Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go

History lesson~
Before 4chan we had bathroom walls. In high school, different bathrooms worked like different boards. The band room bathroom was /mu/, the cafeteria bathroom was /ck/, the gym bathroom was /fit/, and the special ed bathroom was /b/

>>745437817
I always saged hoping someone would erase it

>>745426803
oh man. me too! april 31, 1998 i remember

>>745437817
>the special ed room was /b/
kek

>>745437817
Washroom near computer lab was /r9k/

File: 1422060699883.jpg (62KB, 600x800px) Image search: [Google]

62KB, 600x800px

>>745426652

File: 1466511104763.jpg (15KB, 400x300px) Image search: [Google]

15KB, 400x300px

Hey /b/
Today, I was lifting an old carpet, as we have a damp problem. Underneath there were hundreds of slugs and worms. My wife and I picked up about 40 slugs and put them in a pair of my wife's panties. I then put the panties on. The feeling was amazing. I got a huge erection and I could feel them sliding over my glans, and round my balls. Eventually I could feel one going up my bum. I knew I would come soon, so I let my wife tie me up, with my hands and feet speadeagled and attached to some furniture. She then took the panties down and about 15 of the slugs were crawling over my cock and balls. I came, spurting out loads of cum all over the poor things, but still couldn't move. My wife then took the other slugs out of the panties and placed them on my cock. She was careful to put some of them right on the opening of my cock, which was now covered in a mixture of sperm and glistening goo from the slugs. She opened up my arse and tried to put one in there too. I got hard again quite quickly as I thought of these slimy little things crawling over me. I imagined them biting me. One seemed to be trying to enter my uretha and this caused me to come again. That was 4 hurs ago. My cock is now very itchy, but I am about to give them another "feed".
SO YEAH, I like anime

>>745435816
Worth the read.

>>745431140
lost

>>745427388
Fuck you, god the last time I saw shitting dick nipples was early middle school.

File: batman-animated-series.gif (919KB, 474x325px) Image search: [Google]

919KB, 474x325px

None of this shit made me nostalgic. You're all homosexuals.

>>745438933
underage b&

>>745439020
Even if I was born on the exact day that the Batman animated series was released, I'd be 25.
Not only are you a homosexual
But you're a negro.
Niggerfaggot.

>>745439220
I find that word offensive

>>745439220
That's not why I called you underage you stupid shill, but that show was pretty gay.

>>745439220
>niggerfaggot
>>>/idtvredditcuck/

Other posters - while I apologize for the use of profanities and the nature of my post I do not apologize for aiming it at this >>745439220 piece of shit who does nothing on this thread but wind people up and is the most disrespectful arsehole I have ever encountered on any thread. One or two posts I think I could live with but the fucking diarrhea that spouts from his dickheads mouth is constant. Behaving like this and posting like this is absolutely disgraceful and I for one am fuckin fuming that this wanker is still here and allowed to post such shit

File: 1505665383759-b.jpg (38KB, 800x598px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 800x598px

>>745439378
>>745439394
>>745439445
>>745439462

File: My window.jpg (153KB, 500x367px) Image search: [Google]

153KB, 500x367px

Hey /b/, I just thought I'd get this off my chest... I'd thought i'd tell you guys first to see how you'd take it.

Okay, where do i begin? I guess it started out when I there was a storm. It was really bad storm too. So

bad my sister wanted to sleep in my room since my parents were gone. I let her sleep in my bed as i slept

the floor. We did get through the night, but some of the windows were damaged, as my little sis told me.

"C.J. the window broke, come and see!", so I went to go see, and damn did i get the biggest boner i have
ever had. The storm had apparrently damaged the window, but it had also scraped the paint. The paint, oh my god the paint, i can't believe it turned me on like that, but it did. I immediately told my little sis to go to her room, even though she cried about it, because the "glass shards would cut her feet." Huge lie. All i wanted was some amazing sex with that broken window and the little pieces of green paint on it. I took the window to the bathroom and began to rub myself on it. I came like i have never come before. I spent a total of 5 hours in that bathroom, doing that window over and over and over again. Cum was splattered all over it, and that made it even better. But that was just the beginning, I began to break my neighbor's windows while they were out just so i could take them home and fuck with them. Oh my god, one time I found this amazingly beautiful wooden casement window with amazing woodwork, if i could have married that window, i would have. But sadly, due to society's unaccepting ways, i've been forced to keep my darling window and their amazingly chipped paint in one of my dad's warehouse, he doesn't know what i do with the windows, i think he thinks i might love their architecture (and i do!)

Well /b/, that's my secret my fetish, I hope you can fucking take it.

Attached is a picture of that first window.

File: .b.v.v..png (125KB, 706x1323px) Image search: [Google]

125KB, 706x1323px

Here's a blast from the past
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F4eEGeqC-8M

File: .b.v.v.2.png (141KB, 706x1267px) Image search: [Google]

141KB, 706x1267px

>>745440500

>>745431754

THIS

>>745426803
oh i member

>>745431317
Reminds me of certain Bruce-centric Kids in the Hall sketches

File: 2dabar.jpg (44KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

44KB, 640x480px

Mmmmmm... Fried pig pussy! Once you eat one of these pig pussy pork rinds, you'll never eat another.. human pussy again. But FUCK human pussy! I fuck dead pigs. You'll read all about it in heartburn how I fuck them dead pigs before I turn em into pork rinds!

I couldn't get no twat from serenity back then. She only wanted dildos in her pussy twat. Big phony bologna dicks. But now she wants this real cock. Come here serenity lets show these assholes how we fuck. Lets show these assholes how we fuck. My sweet sweet serenity.

Fuck an umbilical cord out of your phony asshole, and I'll hang a pig with it, while I impregnate you with my 80 year old pork rind dick. You'll give birth to a dead pig and we'll cut him into pork rinds.

All in pork rinds of god. In a land that speaks only with its eyes. No language, no dildos, no fucking laws! Where the whores can't sell their pussy. Or use their twats to gold dig. A land where us warriors run free with our big dicks out, and our fucking hair wild.

Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Eat pork rinds, eat dead pigs. Salt their dead skin and put em in plastic bags. Fuck you, you fucking, farting robots. Suck my dead pig. Suck my dead pig!

>>745433034
wkuk?

>>745434149
Intelligent

File: 8736828.jpg (68KB, 818x547px) Image search: [Google]

68KB, 818x547px

>>745433376

>>745434192
That's wonderful

the worst nostalgia'd thread ever.

>>745441218
they're not what they used to be

File: pc04.jpg (40KB, 640x480px) Image search: [Google]

40KB, 640x480px

>>745441107

File: poop.jpg (51KB, 500x689px) Image search: [Google]

51KB, 500x689px

>>745437303

File: older.jpg (52KB, 450x338px) Image search: [Google]

52KB, 450x338px

>mfw this whole thread

File: 4968665-0298227895-giphy.gif (175KB, 330x330px) Image search: [Google]

175KB, 330x330px

>>745431754

>>745434192
>>745441085
He kept it up for like another three two year interval posts.

I believe my true self is that of a 1978 Honda Civic. That is who I truly am on the inside, my soul-being. To express this aspect of my personality I draw pictures of myself as an anthropomorphic 1978 Honda Civic and share them with others of my kind. My girlfriend is an 1975 AMC Gremlin, and we are soul-mates. Automobile soul-mates. I communicate with others of my kind mostly through the internet, but sometimes we attend conventions. People persecute us for our true selves. My neighbor threatened to call the cops on me just for talking to his Escort. I'm not even into Fords, but that's besides the point. Just because I AM a car doesn't mean I'm going to have relations with just every car I see. It's not about the sex, though there is a 1955 Chevy Bel-Air I will never forget. You never forget your first. But I'm sick of people saying I'm perverted and wrong, and that I'm not really a car I'm just crazy. They don't understand, I have just as much right to the road as they do. Those assholes at the DMV are the worst, but I'd rather not talk about that ugly incident of carsecution. I have a good mechanic, though. You've never lived until you've had this guy change your oil. It doesn't make me gay, because I'm a Honda, not really a person. Your morality doesn't apply to me. I am a car. Beep beep, mother fucker. Deal with it.

>>745441587
>roody-poo candy ass

>>745441928
how long have it been since we last saw him? 3 years or something?

>>745441324
Nothing really is. That's the point of nostalgia, realizing that the best times have already passed. In that regard, this thread passed with flying fucking colors

File: IMG_0232.jpg (37KB, 419x507px) Image search: [Google]

37KB, 419x507px

Traps

>>745431754
ok I'll wait for OP. He will show up any minute now.

File: 126759078692.jpg (416KB, 1087x942px) Image search: [Google]

416KB, 1087x942px

OK /b/, so I'm married and i have 2 girls, 3 and 5 years old.

My favourite time of the day is bath time (which i rarely miss) where me and the girls bathe together. My wife prefers to shower or when she does bath, she does so alone with a book. Anyway...at bath time, i sit each girl one on each leg and lather them up, rinse them etc. Naturally i get an erection (i'm a guy, i can't help these things) and most days the girl's have a curiosity about my cock (seeing it go from flacid to sticking up and hard) and so i let them play with it, tug it, squeeze it etc. nothing i ask them to do, i just let them do what they like to my cock and it feels nice usually so...yea...

Anyway, my wife comes in (i've been bathing the girls since they were born, though their cock curiosity is recent..maybe last 3 months) yesterday and sees me erect and starts screaming and grabs the kids and gets them dressed, drives off. Turns out she's taken the kids to my mother's house and won't speak to me. my mom has been kind enough to relay shit to me, but basically: I'm a pedo because i had an erection in the bathtub (and i explained that i'm a guy, i can't control these things) but she was all "it's not right to expose the girls to an erect penis at their age" and i'm all wtf.

she's trying to get the police involved and claiming i'm a pedo and unfit etc. she didn't even see the girls touching my penis, she just saw that i was hard. now she's took my kids, i think i'm gonna get divorced and possibly branded a child molester (grown man naked and erect with little girls sounds bad right? fuck...)

Worst thing is, she's gonna be asking the girls about bath time, and if they say they were playing with my winkie (what they call it) i'll be more fucked, and she'll tell them that it's "disgusting and wrong" so they'll grow up thinking they were ABUSED by me.

Worst day of my life. I am seriously considering suicide.

generic anime image unrelated

How's your day been?

File: IMG_0150.jpg (947KB, 1364x2920px) Image search: [Google]

947KB, 1364x2920px

Not that old, but a favorite of mine

>>745430956
you got me

File: 1417883977991.png (38KB, 550x185px) Image search: [Google]

38KB, 550x185px

>>745442680

File: 1388259203009.jpg (140KB, 993x827px) Image search: [Google]

140KB, 993x827px

Still fap to this day

I'm getting sick of seeing this FILTH on the internet. I guess most of you liberals don't think this was a big deal - but pornography is DANGEROUS. I'm petrified by the fact that my son may find this site someday. I may never let him on the computer honestly.

Haven't you ever wondered why so many kids are molested everyday? Why?! Because of how corrupted our society is over sex. In nature we crave more and more of something..so a guy that keeps fueling his sexual desires ends up making himself into this disgusting, sex craving, perve who preys on children because they are "the easiest prey".

I remember a special program that visited my school. In it showed a couple of testimonies from convicted rapists and child molesters in prisons. They all said that their addictions started somewhere - with pornography and admitted that their crimes would have been less likely to take place if they didn't start their addiction with porn. They kept fueling their sexual desires. Any human is programmed to where they want more and more of something. You have one potato chip you want 2..the cycle goes on. It's the same with porn. Do you really think guys who look at little kids just wake up one day and say "hey I want to look at underage porn!!" no. It starts somewhere. Think about it, guys.

This is not just a biblical issue! It's a common sense one!

You people need to do something about your addiction to explicit material. I'm not scared to say that PORN IS WRONG. I know too many people that are too scared to talk about issues like this - STOP BEING PANSIES AND LOG OFF! REAL MEN DON'T DO PORN!!!

And by the way - girls/guys do not have to be completely naked for it to be wrong to look at. If you go crazy seeing a girl in a swimsuit or a guy in trunks stop looking at them you crazy horndog. Have some respect and integrity!!

God bless,

Robin

>>745431754
fuck that card stand...

>>745432421

Heh.
Well done, sir

PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI PUDDI

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KyucG76N9PY

>>745426652
Fuck you texas

File: 1471081862181.png (1MB, 1031x1000px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 1031x1000px

Jewel and her daughter are in for a rough time. They've just arrived at the meat farm in time to be stripped of their clothing, branded, and collared. There's a few other girls there too. Not a large pickup, but enough to get the year's harvest started. The girls share the same room to help accentuate the fear and trepidation of a shared fate. Naked, but together, they enhance each other's suffering. Branding is just the first step though.

File: 1471081880417.png (947KB, 900x900px) Image search: [Google]

947KB, 900x900px

It's time for a bit of rape. The girls are kept together, mother and daughter getting worked over together. A pair of males enjoy their pussies, and the feeling of squirting semen into their wombs. It won't be much longer till the drugs and constant rape take effect, giving the kitty girls big, pregnant bellies. Ripe and ready for harvest.

File: 1471081899111.png (1MB, 900x800px) Image search: [Google]

1MB, 900x800px

Jewel and her daughter are growing plump with pregnancy. Almost ready to harvest. Though there's no respite for the girls. The rapes don't stop when a girl's got a litter of veal in her belly. The boys tending to the meat kitties are more than happy to dump an unfiltered load right into whichever hole feels more appealing at the moment.

File: 1471081915893.png (431KB, 800x700px) Image search: [Google]

431KB, 800x700px

Ripe and ready to become meat, the girls go in together. They're extra close, so they'll be able to hear each others shrill, gagged screams of agony as their flesh is roasted. Their cubs will provide a source of tender, pink cooked veal once they're ready to be served.

File: 1471081932276.jpg (82KB, 800x700px) Image search: [Google]

82KB, 800x700px

The girls are finally done for, and nicely roasted. They're on display, briefly, before the meal. Wouldn't want them to get too cool! But with all that thermal mass locked away in their big, veal filled bellies, it's doubtful that they'll get unappetizing before the buyers dig in. Little plaques help explain Jewel and her daughter's life before they were converted, as well as spelling out in explicit detail their final moments. Number of presnuff rapes, total time spent alive in the oven, weight for breast, ass, and veal-meat. A total accounting of everything they ever were, and ever will be.
-
Plaques read as follows.
-
Mother: Suspected of possible lesbanism, picked up on 9/15/13 by girl ranchers for processing. Mother's initial disposition was disbelief, resistance, and defiance. Her pussy was well worn, but as a proven breeder she quickly took with child. She averaged 6 to 7 daily rapes at intake to file the rough edges off her personality. By midway through her pregnancy she was down to an average of 3 rapes, and only sobbed instead of fighting back. Before being placed into the oven with her daughter, each one was raped 20 times, with handlers taking turns.
Age - 35
Harvest Weight - 210 pounds
Oven Hours - 1.5
Total Rapes - 1534
-
Daughter: Reported mother for lesbanism, brought in with mother to ensure complete eradication. Initial disposition was shock, betrayal, and shame. Daily rapes were kept at a steady 3-4 after intake, with an occasional spike. Her young ass and cunt provided considerable relief for ranchers who wanted something tighter. Sobbed immediately upon seeing her mother on oven-day, and continued to cry throughout the rest of her 20 rapes. Expired before her mother in the oven. Flesh is tender, juicy. Please enjoy!
Age - 19
Harvest Weight - 210 pounds
Oven Hours - .78
Total Rapes - 1293

File: jim_400x400.jpg (19KB, 400x400px) Image search: [Google]

19KB, 400x400px

if you don't know who this is, you aren't really an oldfag.

File: surgeon_214772131_250.jpg (10KB, 250x375px) Image search: [Google]

10KB, 250x375px

There are many of those quotes that keeps the sturgeon inspired about his job, they also help him jump these large obstacles in life. Fortunately, the quotes have been released to the public to help inspire fellow surgeons.
At 10, I was intrigued by surgery, I wanted to be surgeon for a long time. I love doctor shows and surgery shows. Blood is not an issue for me. I even took pictures once of me getting my blood taken.

Dr Babanga, my local doctor, recommended that I should perhaps try superflex before and after breakfast.

Humanity abhors, above all things, a vacuum in itself, and your class will be cut off from humanity as the ?sturgeon slowly cuts the cancer and alien growth from the body.


Fantastic, the ?sturgeon is ?inspired
Fantastic, the ?sturgeon is ?inspired
Fantastic, the ?sturgeon is ?inspired
Fantastic, the ?sturgeon is ?inspired

File: puddi1.jpg (23KB, 1022x756px) Image search: [Google]

23KB, 1022x756px

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7LKHpM1UeDA

>>745445605
why the long face, jim?

Are you aware I have a ritual called 'terminator'. I crouch in the shower in the "naked terminator" pose. With eyes closed I crouch for a minute and visualize either Arnie or the guy from the 2nd movie. I then start to hum the T2 theme. Slowly I rise to a standing position and open my eyes. It helps me get through my day. The only problem is if the shower curtain sticks to my terminator leg. It sorta ruins the fantasy

>>745443256
mind sharing with the audience?

File: 1344354017264.gif (170KB, 320x240px) Image search: [Google]

170KB, 320x240px

>>745426652

>>745431111
checked

this fucking thread isnt full of nearly 90's shit with turbo buttons.

this thread should be called random shit at its most random bread feat. moot.

>>745446463
Hi
Lo

File: IMG_0265.jpg (104KB, 600x600px) Image search: [Google]

104KB, 600x600px

>>745446463
Someone go rename the thread now, dads all pissed off again.

Okay, I am fucking sick and fucking tired of these fucking reposts about losing a shiny pidgey! LOSING A SHINY PIDGEY IS NOT FUCKING FUNNY! Joke about anything else you want, /b/... Joke about cp, joke about loli, joke about murder, joke about drugs, but DON'T FUCKING JOKE ABOUT LOSING A SHINY PIDGEY! Losing a shiny pidgey DESTROYS a trainer, it STRIPS THE TRAINER OF HIS BADGES! It is disgusting, inhumane, regressive and insane. LOSING A SHINY PIDGEY IS OFF THE FUCKING TABLE, /b/, NOT EVEN YOU FUCKING VIRGIN ASSHOLES CAN BE SUCH FUCKHOLES THAT YOU JOKE ABOUT A SHINY PIDGEY BEING LOST! And no, I am not fucking Ash Ketchum, I am a trainer, I lost a shiny pidgey. My 1/8192 chance pokemon was taken from me, I can never get it in a pokeball. I was defeated again and again and again and again and again by The Elite Four when I was on victory road, I wanted to fucking kill my fucking self. IS THAT FUCKING FUNNY? FUCK NO YOU FUCKHOLES! Go back to making Fresh Prince threads, /b/, you fucking arboks

>>745445170
log?

>>745446697
lost
losing entei or raikou is worse imo

>>745445605
That's Grease Lightning!

>>745446634
Is that a dildo beside her next to the mouse?

>>745446631
you better, you faggot.